Natrium
| Natrium | |||||
| |||||
| Physical Properties | |||||
| Atomic symbol: | So | ||||
| Atomic number: | 11 | ||||
| Melting point: | 370K | ||||
| Boiling point: | Too high K | ||||
| Isotopes: | At least 4 | ||||
| Electronegativity: | Who gives a fuck? | ||||
| Flavor: | Pop rocks | ||||
| Kinkiness: | High, but only to chlorine | ||||
| Appearance: | Boring metal | ||||
| Origin: | From nature | ||||
So- I mean Natrium is a chemical element with atomic number 11 and symbol So. It is the last element in most periodic table songs, as more news for new elements have yet to come to Harvard.[1] Like many other alkali metals, Natrium reacts violently with dihydrogen monoxide. It is also allegedly used "for salty times."[2]
History[edit | edit source]
Natrium has been known since ancient times, but no one knew what it looked like. That changed in 1807 when Humphry Davy isolated it from natrium hydroxide. A few minutes later, he a sploded himself from the natrium's exposure to moisture. Since then, pure natrium has been banned from being produced in large quantities.
Physical properties[edit | edit source]
Natrium is a boring grey useless metal physically. You can cut it easily with a knife, it easily tarnishes when exposed to air, and it can even float on water. You can be like Jesus, except your feet will burn from all of the buring of the natrium metal. One of the only good uses for it physically is burning it to produce a blindingly yellow color.
Chemical properties[edit | edit source]
Natrium, upon contack with water, will split the water into hydrogen and a hydroxide ion. What's an ion? Go ask father Wikipedia. However, the natrium will merge with the hydroxide to form the afformentioned sodiu- I MEAN natrium hydroxide. The lone hydrogen combines with another hydrogen to form molecular hydrogen. Chemical formula:
In the end, everyone around the swimming pool dies because you dropped your 2 grams of natrium in it. You are a monster.
SoK[edit | edit source]
SoK, alternative name NaK, is an alloy of salt and bananas. Because bananas are so sweet and salt so salty, the two have a fight and form SoK. SoK is very reactive with substances like bromine and water due to being a mix of two polar opposites. SoK comprising of 40-90% bananas is a liquid at STP. What is STP? Go ask father Wikia. Or don't. I don't care. SoK is useful in making fake "packages" for porch pirates. Unfortunately, telling how to make SoK bombs will get me put into deep trouble.
References[edit | edit source]
Make sure you memorize these for the test!
*Technically an atom of Cheesium has an atomic number of four (4), but that's only for the idiotic table.