User:Strange but untrue/Magnesium
~ A Magnesium user on Magnesium
Origins[edit | edit source]
Magnesium was invented by Sir Thomas Magnesium in 1879 after a drunken night-out.
Properties[edit | edit source]
Magnesium owns several properties, mostly in the south of France and Scunthorpe.
Also, Magnesium can be used to treat leprosy, by rubbing it on the affected detached limbs - this treatment is known as magnetism; Magnets can also be used in a similar fashion.
Magnesium Day[edit | edit source]
Every 28 of February is Magnesium day, children line the streets for the Magnesium parade and Sir Thomas Magnesium is said to visit every house leaving a lump of magnesium for good children and a lump of sulphur for those who have been naughty. Adults and bunnies, being both good and bad, get some Magnesium Sulphate.
It is traditional on Magnesium day for people everywhere to eat a lump of roasted Magnesium, often containing stuffing, served with roast potatoes, Lithium sauce and Potassium Nitrate pudding, which is soaked in brandy and set alight for spectacular effect. Please try this at home.
Blindness[edit | edit source]
Leading statisticians state that burning magnesium creates approximately 149 bright spots each year, searing everything within a few metres. The statisticians then sneak these bright smears into boxes and scurry off with them. Crafty statisticians, it's magnesium that gives them their powers.
Specifically, the statistician will come up to a victim with a box of burnt magnesium and ask if she enjoys staring at the sun. When they condescendingly answer "No," the statistician will then open the box with a "Whoo-aa!"
The point being, "Magnesium is bright when it burns."
| 1H Hydrogen | ∞Hu Homoerectium | 1/5Bm Brucium | 1/2Ch Cheesium | 3/4Pl Plotonium | 1½D Deuterium | 1.5Py Parodymium | 2He Helium | ||||||||||
| 3Li Lithium | 4Be Beryllium | 5B Boron | 6C Carbon | 7N Nitrogen | 8O Oxygen | 9 F Fluorine | 10Ne Neon | ||||||||||
| 11Na Sodium | 12 Mg Magnesium | 13Al Aluminum | 14 Si Silicon | 15 P Phosphorus | 16 S Sulfur | 17Cl Chlorine | 18 Ar Argon | ||||||||||
| 19 K Potassium | 20 Ca Calcium | 21 Sc Scandium | 22Ti Titanium | 23 V Vanadium | 24 Cr Chromium | 25 Mn Manganese | 26Fe Iron | 27 Co Cobalt | 28Ni Nickel | 29Cu Copper | 30Zn Zinc | 31 Ga Galium | 32Ge Germanium | 33As Arsenic | 34 Se Selenium | 35Br Bromine | 36Kr Krypton |
| 37 Rb Rubidium | 38 Sr Strontium | 39 Y Yttrium | 40 Zr Zirconium | 41 Nb Niobium | 42 Mo Molybdenum | 43 Tc Technetium | 44 Ru Ruthenium | 45 Rh Rhodium | 46 Pd Palladium | 47Ag Silver | 48 Cd Cadmium | 49In Indium | 50Sn Tin | 51 Sb Antimony | 52 Te Tellurium | 53 I Iodine | 54Xe Xenon |
| 55 Cs Cesium | 56 Ba Barium | 57 La Lanthanium | 72 Hf Hafnium | 73 Ta Tantalum | 74 W Tungsten | 75 Re Rthenium | 76 Os Osmium | 77 Ir Iridium | 78Pt Platinum | 79Au Gold | 80Hg Mercury | 81 Tl Thallium | 82Pb Lead | 83Bi Bismuth | 84Po Polonium | 85 At Astatine | 86Rn Radon |
| 87 Fr Francium | 88Ra Radium | 89 Ac Actinium | 104Rf Rutherfordium | 105 Db Dubnium | 106 Sg Seaborgium | 107 Bh Bohrium | 108 Hs Hassium | 109 Mt Meitnerium | 110 Ds Darmstadtium | 111Rg Roentgenium | 112 Cn Copernicum | 113 Nh Nihomium | 114 Fl Flerovium | 115 Mc Moscovium | 116 Lv Livermorium | 117 Ts Tennessine | 118 Og Oganesson |
| 58 Ce Cerium | 59Pr Praseodymium | 60 Nd Neodymium | 61 Pm Promethium | 61 Sm Samarium | 63 Eu Europium | 64 Gd Gadolinium | 65 Tb Terbium | 66 Dy Dysprosium | 67 Ho Holmium | 68 Er Erbium | 69 Tm Thulium | 70 Yb Ytterbium | 71 Lu Lutetium | 119Ub Unobtanium | 120Un Unununium | 121Aw Awesomnium | |
| 90 Th Thorium | 91 Pa Protactinium | 92U Uranium | 93 Np Neptunium | 94Pu Plutonium | 95Am Americium | 96 Cm Curium | 97 Bk Berkelium | 98 Cf Californium | 99Es Einsteinium | 100 Fm Fermium | 101 Md Mendelevium | 102 No Nobelium | 103 Lr Lawrencium | 122Ky Kryptonite | 123St Stalinium | 124Ob Obamium |