Ytterbium
| Ytterbium | |||||
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| Physical Properties | |||||
| Atomic symbol: | Yb | ||||
| Atomic number: | 70 | ||||
| Melting point: | Not easily | ||||
| Boiling point: | Read above! | ||||
| Isotopes: | Several | ||||
| Electronegativity: | Eugh? | ||||
| Flavor: | If it looks like piss, it most likely is piss. After all, talk about the yellow snow... | ||||
| Appearance: | Rocks. | ||||
| Origin: | Swedenland | ||||
 This element is a part of the Swedengang.
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Ytterbium (you pronounce it kind of like jitterclick, or get a big dick.) is the combination of all three of the other boring elements created in Ytterby, those being Yttrium, Erbium, and Terbium. It is the penultimate element in the lanthanides series, with Lutetium being the ultimate element of ultimate boringness. It has the atomic symbol of Yb, being a combination of the "Y" from Yttrium, and the "b" from Terbium. It also has the atomic symbol of 70, making it have prestige among the other elements for being a nice round number. Being a combination of all other boring metallic lanthanide atomic elements, it embodies the shape of a twisting and rigid raw rock. It has the colour of a silvery grey, and sometimes a piss yellow appearance.
Ytterbium is one of the few elements to be seperated into two elements, having Lutetium breaking away in the 1900's. Although the scientists who created Lutetium stated that it was a scientifically reasonable split, in reality, they wanted Austria to have another win over the Swedish (despite the founder of Ytterbium being Swiss... yet again, that's even more of a reason to laugh at them...) and for the Lanthanides to have one more element.
The element of Ytterbium has fought in several different wars, such as the Swedish War for Independence, Lutetium War for Fucking Why Not Let's Do It Lol!, and WWI. Fortunately for scientists all across the world, nobody cares anymore, and nobody will appear to care.
History[edit | edit source]
Ytterbium was founded by a Swiss person, but due to him being Swiss, he is often confused of being Swedish. He was looking at some Ytterbite, analyzing it, sniffing it like the dumbass he was, until BANG! Ytterbium was made. Due to this discovery, Jean Charles Galissard de Marignac drank so much alcohol that he died. His corpse layed on the first ever known sample of Ytterbium.
Eventually though, Ytterbium split into neoytterbia and lutecia, and then aldebaranium, and then cassiopeium. Due to this rapid separation of elements, Ytterbian politics began. Trust me, it sounds way, way less cooler than it sounds. This resulted with aldebaranium and cassiopeium being thrown to the stars, making them become constellations, and neoytterbia becoming Ytterbium. Lutecia also became Lutetium.
Etymology[edit | edit source]
From the city of Ytterby. The end.
Boring War[edit | edit source]
Ever since the creation of Ytterbium, it received several interesting properties. It could spread, reproduce, and expand, even on the periodic table. Ytterbium wanted every element to be as boring as him, but due to him being laughed at, he began to forcefully turn every single lanthanide (that wasn't already boring) into a shape something like his. From Lutetium to Lanthanum, every single one was turned into a silvery grey-ish slave of his. After that, Ytterbium and his army spread north to fight the Transitional Elements War. However, the war ended very soon, after everyone else confused it with a war for transitional rights. Only Yttrium was affected, and it turned out practically unscathed.
Warnings[edit | edit source]
Encounters with Ytterbium can be fatal. Unlike Yttrium, Terbium, or Erbium, even touching Ytterbium will have it attack you. It will eat you. It will dissolve you until you are nothing but bones. Be cautious around it at all times.
DO:
- Stay away from it, dipshit!
- Use other materials to carry it, as it only attacks when touching something alive.
DON'T:
- Touch it, ya idiot!
Characteristics[edit | edit source]
Cold. Relatively stable, although you will need to caution yourself due to the reasons above.
See also[edit | edit source]
Make sure you memorize these for the test!
*Technically an atom of Cheesium has an atomic number of four (4), but that's only for the idiotic table.