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You might think a cycle would be cool because you could ride it, but no. It sucks.


For the uncouth among us who choose lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Nitrogen.

Nitrogen totally sucks. Anyone who likes Nitrogen is wrong, because Nitrogen totally sucks. This is pretty self-explanatory. Nitrogen is from the two Latin compounds Nitres, which means Blows, and genus, which means Sorta. Since Latin is based on a similar tongue, Mexican, it is backwards, so it literally means Totally Sucks.

Why Nitrogen Sucks

Nitrogen sucks so much, it's in 7th place on the Periodic Table. The only thing that sucks more than Nitrogen is Oxygen, and since that chemical is totally useless anyway, we'll assume that Nitrogen is the worst.

Ancient Uses

Nitrogen is found in abundance in the anusphere, that's because no one wants it. The Greeks named it NitresGenus. One time, the Romans tried to use Nitrogen for plumbing. Because it is usually a gas, it didn't work, so they switched to lead, because Romans are not very smart.

Nitrogen and Hitler

This is the molecular structure of a Nitrusleadic molecule. Notice its uncanny resemblance to the Star of David.

A well known fact is that Nitrogen flakes were fed to Nazi soldiers in the hopes that when the Nazis would win, Hitler could make Nitrogen suck less. Unfortunately for Hitler, he forgot that anything that sucks as bad as Nitrogen will make his soldiers suck, too, so he lost the war and committed suicide because he sucked so much from eating all of that Nitrogen.

Nitrogen's Effect on the Human Body

Chemical Properties

Nitrogen, being a light non-metal, has a similar effect as lead, a heavy metal. The main underlying difference between the two is that lead is used in paint, but Nitrogen isn't used in anything because everyone knows it sucks.

How it Works

When Nitrogen enters the human body, it immediately latches itself to the uvula. It then works its way into your brain through nerve endings, and eventually finds its way into the cerebral cortex. From there, it burrows deep into your thoughts, telling you to do and say things that make you look like a total fucktard.

Nitrogen and the World

Nitrogen has a lot of myths told about it, and it is wise not to do research on them because everything in this article is correct. Wow see it's not because guess what! I just typed this (psst im a different person) So if you're doing research, don't trust this website.

Not as abundant as you're told

Kill your chemistry teacher

Some people will try to tell you that Nitrogen makes up over 75% of the atmosphere. This is because they are Nazis and therefore should be stoned to death. Everybody enjoys a public execution, so there will be nobody offended if you take it upon yourself to eradicate your chemistry teacher right now.

Useful properties

Although widely considered completely useless, there are some uses that are worth noting. Because it sucks.

See also

1H Hydrogen Hu Homoerectium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium D Deuterium 1.5Py Parodymium 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9 F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18 Ar Argon
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21 Sc Scandium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24 Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29Cu Copper 30Zn Zinc 31 Ga Galium 32Ge Germanium 33As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 52 Te Tellurium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Cesium 56 Ba Barium 57 La Lanthanium 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rthenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88Ra Radium 89 Ac Actinium 104Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111Rg Roentgenium 112 Cn Copernicum 113 Nh Nihomium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Promethium 61 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium 119Ub Unobtanium 120Un Unununium 121Aw Awesomnium
90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium 122Ky Kryptonite 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium
Alkali Metal
Alkaline Earth
Transition Metal
Basic Metal
Noble Gas
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