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“Its what we men use to please our partners”

~ Colonel Angus on Tedium

“It's my favorite element!!!”

~ Teddy Roosevelt on Tedium

“An Element, Tedium be.”

~ Yoda on Tedium

“I invented Tedium on the seventh day.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Tedium

Basic Facts[edit | edit source]

  • Tedium is the third most popular element on the planet Earth and the best in bed , behind RocketScieintisum and Wiium
    Tedium in it's purest state.
  • Every living thing has Tedium in it.
  • Teddy Bears themselves are composed entirely of Tedium.
  • The elemental symbol for Tedium is: Bz (standing for something completely ridiculous to keep in form with Potasium (,) Silver (,) and numerous other misnamed symbolic elements.
  • Is an outstanding conductor of Kinetic Energy. It Quickly transforms all types of kinetic Energy into Photonic Light Energy.

History of Tedium[edit | edit source]

Discovery[edit | edit source]

Tedium was discovered in the 1700s by accident. A brilliant philospher, Arachnamedies, a grotesque looking man with spider like qualities, was attempting to kill all the flies in his home. (He planned on eating them later that day.) Arachnamedies spotted a fly upon the tip of his favorite Teddy Bear's nose. He lunged forward and brought his fly-swatter down upon the soon to be meal. In his fury Arachnamedies failed to hold back his eagerness to kill the fly and ended up tearing apart his favorite Teddy Bear with his fly swatter. It's internal essence spilled out onto the ground surrounding Arachnamedies and subsequently blinded him. All but one of his eyes worked from that day onward.

  • For those of you who did not just cut class from your Basic Physics Class, The kinetic energy placed into the Tedium element was converted and released as a photonic light energy. Thus, the light blinded the philosopher Arachnamedies.

Arachnamedies ended up spending the rest of his life determining what happened that fateful day by enlisting help from long-time friend and permanent Man-Card Holder, John Wayne. Wayne soon realized that the substance that Arachnamedies stumbled upon was, in fact, an entirely new element. Whoopdee-freakin'-doo! Wayne quickly built a robot duplicate of himself and left it with his blind friend. Wayne took credit for the discovery of himself in 1784. It wasn't until the 1900's when radio was invented, that Arachnemedie's descendants realized what had happened. Wayne confessed to the allegations pressed on him by the Arachnamedies family and agreed to give them half the rights to the discovery of the element.

To date, that has earned them US$6.74.

Uses of Tedium[edit | edit source]

Tedium can be found naturally in Grizzly Bears, which are made up of 75% Tedium.

After Tedium was first discovered it's only use was to release a blinding light upon impact with a solid object. During the American Revolution Tedium was first put to use as the first Flash-Bang gernades. The british soldiers held one of the greatest Teddy Bear factories in all of the World and so they implemented the element the most during the battles. The results were devestating. Entire American lines fell to the might of the Tedium based flash-bangs, and it seemed that the war would be won by the British without losing more than a handful of souls. Unfortunately for the Brits, the Americans issued The Proclamation of Independence, not to be comfused with the Declaration of Independence, in which they objected to the use of the flash-bangs, on the grounds that the entire United States supply of males was going blind and if this continued the U.S. would be evry angry indeed. The most famous line form the Proclimation is:]]

“Please dear god, don't use those retarded Flash-bang Gernades anymore! They are completely ridiculous and unfair. Think about it, you have an unfair advantage over us because of your access to Tedium and we have no Tedium in any part of the United States. So please, please would you stop using those darn things?”

Finally, after much wining and complaining on the American's parts, the British agreed to demolish their factory and stop producing the Tedium based Flash-Bangs.

The U.S. Stood and smiled as the factory was leveled, for the U.S Did have the world's largest, natural supply of Tedium, Grizzly Bears. The U.S went quickly to work killing the Grizzly's and sucking the Tedium out of them using a special Meat Cleaver designed by the United States' Department of Offense(DOO). The U.S became the world's largest carrier of Tedium and began building the "evil" flash-bangs for their own use. The British were furious.

Periodic Table of Elements:

 Make sure you memorize these for the test!

Alkaline Earth
Snob Gas
1H Hydrogen 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18Ar Argent
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21Sc Scandinavium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29 Cu Copper 30 Zn Zinc 31 Ga Gallium 32 Ge Germanium 33 As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35 Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 99Te Tedium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Caesium 56 Ba Barium 57-71 La-Lu Lanthanides 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rhenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88 Ra Radium 89-103 Ac-Lr Actinides 104 Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111 Uuu Unununium 112 Cn Copernicium 113 Nh Nihonium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
119Un Uncyclopedium 120 Ub Unobtanium 121 Aeo Awesomnium 122Fa Fartium 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium 125Sl Stalloneium 126 Ad Adamantium 127 Vb Vibranium -1SuStupidium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2*Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium 4.5Op Opium Hu Homoerectium
57 La Lanthanum 58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Pentium 62 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium
89 Ac Actinium 90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95 Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99 Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium