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“You'll go down like a zinc zeppelin”

~ Queen of Germany on the Queen of England's attempt to start a grunge band

“It tastes like Zinc! ”

“What tastes like Zinc?”

Zinc is a the only element on the periodic table of Tunisia. Tunisian tables are periodic because they appear every 4.7 hours, just in time for dinner.

Souces of Zinc[edit | edit source]

The source of Zinc is unknown. The source of most other objects is also unknown due to the fact that no one knows what a source is.

Zinc, after being feathered.

Zinc as Food[edit | edit source]

Zinc is the primary source of food in Tunisia. Zinc miners collect it from large underground caverns, which is the natural environment for the zinc animal. After being slaugthered and feathered, zinc is ready for preparation. Some people will eat their zinc raw, cracking open its hard plastic shell and eating its innards. This is totally disgusting. The old school way to eat a zinc is to find a big juicy zinc yourself, fight it until its dead take a massive dump on it. Put it in a thin wrapping of aluminum foil and roast it until it turns purple. The only real civilized way to eat zinc is to apply a light breading and deep fry the hell out of it.

Alternate Zinc Cooking Methods[edit | edit source]

  • Stuck on a stick and roasted over a fire.
  • Hard boiled in shell,like Phil
  • Sliced and boiled.
  • Doused with ketchup.
  • Slow cooked, often used in soup.
  • Baked and covered with cheese (popular in Wisconsin).
  • Mixed with cheese curds and covered with brown gravy (popular in Québec).
  • Stuffed inside iron, which is in turn stuffed inside copper. This is known as zinoppron.

Other uses of Zinc[edit | edit source]

Zinc can also be used as a construction material. Nearly all homes in Tunisia are made of zinc.

Sometimes large power lines use steel poles covered with the rotting skeletons of zinc. This is done to scare away rust, which is zinc's cousin and is terrified of the corpses. These poles are always placed right up your ass.

Zinc in Popular Culture[edit | edit source]

It is widely known that Zinc Zeppelin was the original name given to Led Zeppelin by Keith Moon, but the Queen of England had already picked out this name for her grunge band and told Keith to change it.

Periodic Table of Elements:

 Make sure you memorize these for the test!

Alkaline Earth
Snob Gas
1H Hydrogen 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18Ar Argent
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21Sc Scandinavium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29 Cu Copper 30 Zn Zinc 31 Ga Gallium 32 Ge Germanium 33 As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35 Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 99Te Tedium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Caesium 56 Ba Barium 57-71 La-Lu Lanthanides 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rhenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88 Ra Radium 89-103 Ac-Lr Actinides 104 Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111 Uuu Unununium 112 Cn Copernicium 113 Nh Nihonium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
119Un Uncyclopedium 120 Ub Unobtanium 121 Aeo Awesomnium 122Fa Fartium 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium 125Sl Stalloneium 126 Ad Adamantium 127 Vb Vibranium -1SuStupidium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2*Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium 4.5Op Opium Hu Homoerectium
57 La Lanthanum 58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Pentium 62 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium
89 Ac Actinium 90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95 Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99 Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium