Parodymium

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A chunk of parodymium. Who the fuck would use that? Only the Wikipedians.

Parodymium, often misspelled "praseodymium," is the 59th element in the periodic table, next to nobodymium. Its symbol is Pr. Currently it is considered to be one of the rare-earth metals, because most parodymium on Earth have been mined and it is rare to find unmined parodymium.

Usage[edit | edit source]

Most of the parodymium on Earth is used for Wikipedia, which parodies Uncyclopedia. As of October 19, 2020, the English Wikipedia has used 6,177,091 chunks of parodymium. There are only 34138 chunks left on Earth, and they will be used up in less than two months if the number of articles created per day stays constant. Due to this, astronomers are busy calculating the amount of parodymium in Saturn's ring. If there is enough for constructing 1 million more Wikipedia pages, they will send spaceships to collect the parodymium.

Famous parodymium mines[edit | edit source]

It may be surprising that the largest consumer of parodymium, Wikipedia, is also its largest producer. Wikipedia constantly recycles parodymium from deleted articles and use the recycled parodymium for new, better ones. However, the current rate of deletion is low compared to the rate of creation, so Wikipedia will eventually run out of parodymium anyway. When that happens, there will probably be a mass deletion. The best way to prevent it might be mining parodymium from other planets, such as Saturn.

In 1959, there was a Fa Mine in China whose main production was parodymium. Unfortunately, it closed down in 1961 because it could no longer sell parodymium, since the Great Firewall of China was to be established soon and Wikipedia found other sources of parodymium that did not need to cross the Great Firewall.

Minerals that contain parodymium[edit | edit source]

Aside from deleted Wikipedia articles, parodymium can be found in parodymites, which is actually made up of mites that parody minerals. When the parody-mites are dormant, they can live for hundreds of years without eating or drinking, assuming that they don't get mined by the greedy humans. Now, parodymites are on the brink of extinction because of overmining.

Parodymium is extracted from parodymite by burning the mites at 1000 degrees celsius. A gooey liquid would flow out from the parodymite. While the liquid is still hot, add some salt to it. Then, let it cool down. It would become a crystal, which, when ground, looks like salt. Now, put the "salt" into someone's food. The victim would become a parodymite. After a few hours, they would vomit pure parodymium. After five years, the victim would grow five years older, but everything else would seem normal as if they has never been poisoned with parodysalt.

See also[edit | edit source]


 
Periodic Table of Elements:

 Make sure you memorize these for the test!

 
Alkali
 
Alkaline Earth
 
Transition
 
Basic
 
Semimetal
 
Nonmetal
 
Halogen
 
Snoble Gas
 
Lanthanide
 
Actinide
 
Awesomnide
 
Unverifide
1H Hydrogen 2He Helium
3Li Lithium 4Be Beryllium 5B Boron 6C Carbon 7N Nitrogen 8O Oxygen 9F Fluorine 10Ne Neon
11Na Sodium 12 Mg Magnesium 13Al Aluminum 14 Si Silicon 15 P Phosphorus 16 S Sulfur 17Cl Chlorine 18Ar Argent
19 K Potassium 20 Ca Calcium 21Sc Scandinavium 22Ti Titanium 23 V Vanadium 24Cr Chromium 25 Mn Manganese 26Fe Iron 27 Co Cobalt 28Ni Nickel 29 Cu Copper 30 Zn Zinc 31 Ga Gallium 32 Ge Germanium 33 As Arsenic 34 Se Selenium 35 Br Bromine 36Kr Krypton
37 Rb Rubidium 38 Sr Strontium 39 Y Yttrium 40 Zr Zirconium 41 Nb Niobium 42 Mo Molybdenum 43 Tc Technetium 44 Ru Ruthenium 45 Rh Rhodium 46 Pd Palladium 47Ag Silver 48 Cd Cadmium 49In Indium 50Sn Tin 51 Sb Antimony 99Te Tedium 53 I Iodine 54Xe Xenon
55 Cs Caesium 56 Ba Barium 57-71 La-Lu Lanthanides 72 Hf Hafnium 73 Ta Tantalum 74 W Tungsten 75 Re Rhenium 76 Os Osmium 77 Ir Iridium 78Pt Platinum 79Au Gold 80Hg Mercury 81 Tl Thallium 82Pb Lead 83Bi Bismuth 84Po Polonium 85 At Astatine 86Rn Radon
87 Fr Francium 88 Ra Radium 89-103 Ac-Lr Actinides 104 Rf Rutherfordium 105 Db Dubnium 106 Sg Seaborgium 107 Bh Bohrium 108 Hs Hassium 109 Mt Meitnerium 110 Ds Darmstadtium 111 Uuu Unununium 112 Cn Copernicium 113 Nh Nihonium 114 Fl Flerovium 115 Mc Moscovium 116 Lv Livermorium 117 Ts Tennessine 118 Og Oganesson
119Un Uncyclopedium 120 Ub Unobtanium 121 Aeo Awesomnium 122Fa Fartium 123St Stalinium 124Ob Obamium 125Sl Stalloneium 126 Ad Adamantium 127 Vb Vibranium -1SuStupidium 1/5Bm Brucium 1/2*Ch Cheesium 3/4Pl Plotonium 4.5Op Opium Hu Homoerectium
57 La Lanthanum 58 Ce Cerium 59Pr Praseodymium 60 Nd Neodymium 61 Pm Pentium 62 Sm Samarium 63 Eu Europium 64 Gd Gadolinium 65 Tb Terbium 66 Dy Dysprosium 67 Ho Holmium 68 Er Erbium 69 Tm Thulium 70 Yb Ytterbium 71 Lu Lutetium
89 Ac Actinium 90 Th Thorium 91 Pa Protactinium 92U Uranium 93 Np Neptunium 94Pu Plutonium 95 Am Americium 96 Cm Curium 97 Bk Berkelium 98 Cf Californium 99 Es Einsteinium 100 Fm Fermium 101 Md Mendelevium 102 No Nobelium 103 Lr Lawrencium