Protactinium
| Protactinium | |||||
| |||||
| Physical Properties | |||||
| Atomic symbol: | Pa | ||||
| Atomic number: | 91 | ||||
| Melting point: | Enough for a nosebleed | ||||
| Boiling point: | More than enough | ||||
| Isotopes: | The one I found | ||||
| Electronegativity: | I just found it how tf am I supposed to know?? | ||||
| Flavor: | I can't even eat it, but I did lick it and it tasted kinda funny... | ||||
| Appearance: | Boring | ||||
“Open up and hand over the damn Protactinium!”
Protactinium is a weird funny rock that makes me get nosebleeds and makes that funny yellow thing beep. I tried eating it but it was WAY too hard to eat. Every time I tell this to my doctor, she keeps on saying I'm gonna die if I'm around it for another week.
Properties[edit | edit source]
Does it look like I know? However, I think you put it in something that explodes to make a lot of people have nosebleeds. For some reason, the FBI wants all of my protactinium. But Finders Keepers, so I should have it! Fuck you, FBI.
...what's that? This element is named after another one? Well I don't care if it stole the name from a different element; protactinium is automatically the better element.
Scarcity (whatever that means)[edit | edit source]
So I keep on finding it near this weird and overly protected facility in Nevada. There's like a pile or two that just appears every week, and I always yoink it. As far as I can tell, that's the only spot where protactinium can be found. I highly doubt it can be created from a different element like plutonium. Besides, plutonium takes forever to decay and is only used for bombs, not making protactinium!
History (and the Rant DLC)[edit | edit source]
Apparently, I was not the first one to discover this. This is the most surprising fact I've ever been told after my mom told me she was pregnant. So apparently, there was this one guy... think his name was mendelevium... but he predicted the existence of this element. He must be proud of me collecting all of this; I have proven that protactinium is real! I mean, I guess Otto Hahn and Lise Meitner discovered the element too... But that's besides the point! The point is that I got large chunks of the element and a nosebleed, meanwhile those two people got not-even-visible chunks and no nosebleed whatsoever. This automatically proves that I am the true discoverer and father of protactinium. Hooray for me! Time to brag to my friends about this fact before my next nosebleed.
Make sure you memorize these for the test!
*Technically an atom of Cheesium has an atomic number of four (4), but that's only for the idiotic table.