Tungsten
| Tungsten | |||||
| |||||
| Physical Properties | |||||
| Atomic symbol: | W | ||||
| Atomic number: | 74 | ||||
| Melting point: | It doesn't | ||||
| Boiling point: | Can't | ||||
| Isotopes: | Tungsten, Wolfram | ||||
| Electronegativity: | Pauling scale: 1 | ||||
Tungsten is a "chemical" element. It has atomic symbol W and atomic number 74. However, sources from Moore National Laboratory, an up-and-coming laboratory from Moore, Oklahoma, denies tungsten's existence in chemicals. Despite this, other major laboratories study it as hard as they can to create the very first tungsten molecule.
History[edit | edit source]
Prior to 2012, Wolfram (symbol W) was element 74. Unlike tungsten, it was common knowledge that wolfram had a widespread presence in many chemicals. It was very easy to add wolfram to molecules, too; it really was a wolf's cream. People, being people, wanted more. They craved more. This leads up to December 12th, 2024, just a few days away from the perceived "end of the world."
Invention[edit | edit source]
Rick Rock, a young inventor and entrepreneur from the land of the new Zeas, was interested in the population's need for a new type of wolfram. Being the inventor he is, he drops 24 grams of wolfram, 24 grams of his grandpa's ashes, and 48 grams of some unidentifiable metal which he described as being "gray." One surprisingly smooth blend later and he's left with tungsten. Oh, and it turns out, tungsten was the material needed to save the world from utter destruction. Being the entrepreneur he is, Rock immediately opens a business and goes on to make millions before retiring at the young age of 15. Unlike most entrepreneurs, Rock never logged onto Twitter once.
Properties[edit | edit source]
Tungsten could only save the world because of its incredible strength. Tungsten, unlike lame aluminium, is extremely dense and can resist a meteor coming at 600 miles per hour. The United States government considered using lead to "protect the Earth from future potential threats to mankind," but that would've killed everyone before Mother Nature could even try. Tungsten, being dense, is also heavy. A "rookie" lifter using a small dumbbell of tungsten will do way better than a "legendary" lifter using regular steel. It took every man and woman's hands except for Bill Gates to keep the tungsten shield from falling and crushing all of mankind, which makes this feat of ours the most impressive it could've ever been.
Every substance has its quirks, however. Unlike every other thing in recorded history, tungsten has no interest in reacting with other substances at any pressure or temperature. Tests at the aforementioned Moore National Laboratory indicate such facts, but everyone else is not willing to give up. Politicians from all over the world advocate for tungsten molecules. Multiple substances were tried for reactions; wood, neon, and caesium. The best they got from each test was absolutely nothing, an eyesore of a lightshow, and an explosion from a water contamination taking up 0.01% of the mixture. These laboratories are still trying their best to create the first ever tungsten molecule despite all the evidence against such even existing.
Summary: Someone invented tungsten because people didn't get what they wanted from wolfram which saved the world and scientists who have absolutely no wrinkles in their brains keep claiming that it's possible to make a molecule of tungsten and we just haven't gotten there yet.
Make sure you memorize these for the test!
*Technically an atom of Cheesium has an atomic number of four (4), but that's only for the idiotic table.