Tantalum
Tantalum the Elephant is a chemical elephant. It's different from other elephants in that instead of defecating normally, it shits out shards of the Rare Earth metal known as Tantalum. It has 73 wives, all of which also shit out metal. It is said that consuming the tantalum shat out by an elephant provides similar effects to kitten huffing, though these reports have yet to be verified. Legend has it that this elephant was discovered by a Dutch mink farmer in the year 1337. How this elephant is still alive as of now is unknown.
History[edit | edit source]
Origins[edit | edit source]
Originally, Tantalum was born in Congaline, Kenya. The elephant grew just fine, until it encountered a little mine, and casually slaughtered the entire mine to eat the tantalum. Once the elephant came out, it was changed forever… both internally, and socially, as due to having murdered people, it became an isolate, and was unprotected from the people who would capture it, and send it up to the Netherlands.
In Europe[edit | edit source]
The elephant was originally thought to have been normal, until it started shitting the shards. The shards quickly started oxidizing, and were eventually identified to be, in fact Tantalum.
The elephant was later on captured by the farmer, and kept at his Farm until the farmer died of having a shard of Tantalum shot into his chest. Shockingly, this didn’t fare well with the rest of the population of the Netherlands (now known as Holland-East Holland), and the elephant was sent on a ship to England, then back to the Netherlands. This continued repeatedly, since neither side wanted the elephant, and it just kept pooping out tantalum, which drastically lowered its value, which screwed over those who mined it.
Tantalum the Elephant's connections to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.[edit | edit source]
Let it be known that currently, Tantalum is in the custody of Mitt Romney, a devout Mormon. He has the elephant in order to try and lace the air with the tantalum dust and get everyone tripping on it at the same time so that he can achieve World domination.
Family[edit | edit source]
While on the ship, Tantalum has tried to spawn with it’s 73 wives, but said kids were immediately thrown overboard over concerns of the earth being filled with tantalum, given enough time. It’s currently unknown if this elephant has parents, or if it just randomly appeared because it wanted to.
In popular culture[edit | edit source]
Tantalum has been depicted in many movies, from The Lion King to Milk Cartons for missing children, often being shown laughing at them while throwing it’s excrement at them. It’s also commonly depicted in Mormon religion as the steed John Brown used while slaying Nevadan gamblers, due to gambling being a sin.