Nevada
| Capital: | Pahrump |
|---|---|
| Official Language: | American, Martian |
| Penisal status of most citizens: | Circumcised (twice) |
| Government: | Gambling |
| Governor: | Some old white guy. |
| Location: | Nevada |
| State Motto: | Where the hell am I? |
| State Bird: | Las Vegan Showgirl |
| State Flower: | Tobacco |
| State Rock | Casino chip |
| State Beverage | Free alcohol |
| Demographics | Old white people, cowboys, prostitutes, aliens |
| State Club | Country Club |
| Official Plant | Jonathon tree I believe it's called |
| Principle imports | Clueless families who are looking to live in one of those gated communities in Las Vegas |
| Principal exports | Casinos, playing cards, showgirl feathers, aliens |
| Religion | Just don't roll a 7 |
Nevada is a rather empty state in the mountains of the Western United States. It is very full and has lots of attractions, such as its capital city, Carson City, and two gambling cities, Las Vegas and Reno - approximately 95% of people in Nevada live in either Las Vegas, Reno or Carson City. There's also a bunch of little useless towns with old white people that are decaying and rotting from all the mold and asbestos, which are home to less than 3% of the population.
Cities[edit | edit source]
| City | Population | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Area 51 | The government won't tell me | THERE'S ALIENS IN HERE! I SWEAR!!! |
| Black Rock City | 1,392 hippies that live in tents | Home to my favorite monument, Burning Man, a giant wooden dumbass that you spend days constructing just to burn down for no reason. |
| Boulder City | 15,023 | The city you bypass on I-11 when driving to Phoenix, Arizona. |
| Carson City | 55,414 | Such a narcissistic city that it has been self-declared the state capital and an "independent city". |
| Elko | 20,341 | Why would anybody want to live out in the middle of nowhere in this city? |
| Ely | Surprisingly 3,944. Wow! | Named after an elephant. |
| Fernley | Some ferns, of course. | A place in Nevada. |
| Henderson | 310,390 | A suburb of Las Vegas that pretends to be its own city. |
| Las Vegas | Over a large number of people. | The only city in Nevada that anybody knows about. |
| Middlegate | 3,210,921 | The population is so embarrassingly small that I included the microorganism population. |
| North Las Vegas | 321,123 | I thought you were joking when you said that there was a NORTH Las Vegas... |
| Pahrump | Many old white people | Home to many mobile homes, a shit ton of vacant lots, and a Walmart. |
| Reno | Less than Las Vegas | Fake Las Vegas |
| Sparks | 104,246 | A suburb of Reno that pretends to be its own city. |
| Tonopah | 2,211 | One of many dying mine towns in Nevada. |
History[edit | edit source]
Some guy wanted to mine some silver somewhere and found this weird pointy-shaped area he decided to call The Land of Never There, because he never came back due to the aliens and shit.
One day, some old fuck decided the state's name, "Never There", should be shortened to "Nevada".
On October 30th, 1864, Nevada citizens wanted their territory to become a state so that they can go trick-or-treating happily the next day on Halloween. The Nevada Territory became a state early in the morning on October 31st, 1864.
One day, on Nevada's statehood day, the state government decided that people can gamble and grow up to be prostitutes, which made Halloween an extra fun day.
Transportation[edit | edit source]
Most people in Nevada have vehicles, similar to the other US states excluding Iowa.
Nevada has highways too, but only like 3 of them are interstates, and of those 3 interstates, none of them actually go through the middle connecting the north and south, forcing you to take fucking US 95 to get from Las Vegas to Reno. I personally don't like that because now I am forced to go through those small useless towns with old white people.
Aliens[edit | edit source]
Like any fool would know, there are aliens in Area 51. Check it out yourself next time you're nearby. Don't get arrested.
Seasons[edit | edit source]
Like many places in the West, Nevada has these 4 seasons:
- Pre-Summer
- Summer
- Post Summer
- Summer but colder
See also[edit | edit source]
- Snowy (Nevada in Spanish)
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