Mufasa
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King Jeames Real "Anagram" Onjes, better known as Mufasa had 9 lives like every other cat, but after losing his first 6 to every single Star Wars movie, and then 2 more to Jesus of Nazareth, he resorted to heroin and acid as an outlet to a crappy life. Then one day he kicked the addiction and approached Disney about making a movie out of the crazy stuff he drew while messed up on crack once, and the rest is history - Lion King was the biography of his life.
It is rarely known that Mufasa and the lions represent his experiences with heroin, and the hyenas represent his time with acid. When asked by the official Uncyclopedia Staff on what Rafiki represented his response was that one time he slept with a prostitute and thought it was significant enough to put in his movie. He also commented that he hated his movie, but it was still way better than all the Star Wars movies. There have been some allegations that his movie was a ripoff of Kimba's dad's movie, but he suggests that there is no relation. "He describes different drugs, besides he's white."
Recently, Jimmy Page has attracted a cult of no less than 666 followers to Mufasa's cause. Mufasa has rather resentfully resigned himself to being their deity and has preformed exactly one feat of divine power for his followers by making it rain rice pudding over London.
Mufasa after going to rehab and destroying his needs for drugs, soon found out he was in fact Michael Jackson’s step brother, so like any lion that had just got off drugs would do, asked his brother to help him commit euthanasia, his choice of death, jumping of a cliff into a family of wild boars or bananas.
His Likes[edit | edit source]
- Blind girls - especially the really blind ones.
- Romans - all of them.
- Chinese take away.
- Georgie Willsteed
- Girls who like David Hasselhoff.
- David Hasselhoff, too.
His Dislikes[edit | edit source]
- Hillary Duff
- Hillary Clinton
- Hillary Swank
- Rodney Dangerfield
- Elijah Wood
- His asshole brother Scarface
Contact Him[edit | edit source]
He says if you are cool with his desires then you should call him at: 606-598-0094, ask for his assistant Travis, when he answers tell him the codewords " PUT MUFASA ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE MOTHERFUCKER!!!! ...BIATCH!!!!" you may then discuss all your weird beastialitistic fantasies with Mufasa himself. Enjoy!
