John Marshall
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 John is demonstrating a tactic in which his toes are touching the carpet which doesn’t count as the floor. | |
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| Died |
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| Nationality | American |
| Occupation | Floor is lava player |
John Marshall was a professional floor is lava player who lasted 34 years until he touched the floor and died. He played on the Supreme Court team and had the role of the fourth Chief Justice which he served for 34 years before dying. He has arrogantly held the role for 34 years and thought no one else was good enough to wear a robe and scream “constitutional law” at people. He was famous for vastly improving the Supreme Court team by inventing the Established Judicial Review move. This allowed the Supreme Court team to say 
to any attacks by the Congress team.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Johnny grew up in a two room log cabin with his 15 siblings living the human pile life where he developed the skill of staying above all his siblings. This proved essential in his future career. He grew up in British colony Germany in Virginia, a place so exclusive you couldn’t find it on a map. He had one year of schooling in which he used a very early form of Established Judicial Review on his teachers. He declared the homework violated the 4th amendment since the teachers didn’t have a warrant to assign him homework. Therefore making the work unconstitutional and therefore he didn’t have to do it. This led to him getting kicked out by enraged British teachers who were not at all pleased with a kid ruining their lesson plans. The teachers responded by declaring his ass unconstitutional and using a powerful move called the “eviction.”
Military service[edit | edit source]
Marshall joined the National Tax Evasion War (Know as the Revolutionary War by many) after deciding he had enough of floor is lava and was assigned to the 3rd Virginia regiment.
Marshall’s military career was defined with the Valley Forge winter. While others did the normal things like starving and eating their shoes to combat the starving, John, having perfected the Established Judicial Review move declared hunger legally impossible to enforce and therefore should be ignored. John then put on a bathrobe, shared his new found realisation with the rest of the soldiers and single handedly killed 2,000 men. When asked what the hell he was thinking, he proceeded to declare logic unconstitutional, called for an indefinitely long recess and spent the rest of the winter starving while perfecting his floor is lava skills by standing on a crate. Marshall was later promoted to captain after no one could get him off his crate.
Career[edit | edit source]
After getting kicked out of the army, Marshall decided to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a floor is lava player. He purchased his cousin’s team called the Edmund Randolphs, decided names were bloatware and promptly deleted the name. This lead to his team’s existence being questioned on multiple occasions by referees, spectators and the census. Marshall decided his team would compete in the in the law practice division known for its long matches played in huge buildings.
For his first match, Marshall played with Lord Thomas Halifax against the Hite team regarding a land dispute. Marshall demonstrated his expertise in floor is lava by jumping on chairs and hanging on ceiling lights while screaming “constitutional law!” Marshall unfortunately lost when he jumped off a chair and touched the floor. This was due to Hite using a highly sneaky move called the chair slide. Hite moved the chair 6.7 centimetres to the right which cased Marshall’s left toe to make contact with the floor. The referee; a Republican, decided Marshall was eliminated from the match.
In the early 1790s, two huge teams took over the United States, the Federalist Team and the Republican Team. Marshall Joined the Federalists since they believed in a tactic called stay in the center (SITC), a strategy Marshall was quite fond of. Marshall believed the STIC strategy was superior to the Republican Team's strategy because he believed that there were more objects to stand on in the center of the room compared to the outer ends of the room. In 1795, George Washington (the president of Floor is lava) asked Marshall to join his team. Marshall declined and preferred to stay on the Federalist team.
At the request of Alexander Hamilton, Marshall arranged a match with the Republican team captain; Thomas Jefferson. They were to play against the Republican team to break their long standing winning streak. Marshall, accompanied by several other Federalists, dragged Jefferson, 20 other replicants and a pissed off referee into an arena in the middle of the night and told him they were gonna play. Whoever won the match would get to make up their own rules for all future floor is lava matches. Marshall knew Jefferson’s 1,800 strong winning streak would be hard to break so he declared his winnings unconstitutional and deemed Jefferson a fraud. This act immediately disqualified Jefferson from the match and was promptly hit with the eviction move.
Supreme Court[edit | edit source]
Marshall was nominated by John Adams to join the Supreme Court team in 1801. John became the team captain and decided
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