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From today's featured article
Article 153/3 of the Geneva Convention, dealing with the usage, proliferation and defense against Biohazard grade materials has been conducting ongoing research over the last 17 years to cover the wide issue of the so called Jewish Cuisine. This clinical research has been conducted according to the standard clinical trial-and-error methodology, including two test groups and a control group. Some of the experiments include: (1) Single exposure to a single ingredient of "Jewish Cuisine", (2) Long term exposure to a single ingredient of "Jewish Cuisine", (3) Short and long term exposures to mixed ingredients.
The effects researched included both physical and mental changes over a period of time. Within this document we shall try to convey concise recommendation and treatment options for each known item that is included under the "Jewish Cuisine". (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Gerry Adams IS the Lord of the Dance? (Pictured)
- ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
In the news
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over
Recent deaths: Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z)
Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about
On this day
- 1792 - The Postal Service is first established, celebration ceremony is accidentally rerouted to San Francisco, Spanish California.
- 1872 - After some harsh wind, the Metropolitan Museum of Art opens its first exhibit, a giant pile of toppled over ceiling scaffolding.
- 1877 - Russian ballet Swan Lake is received poorly by critics after show swans descend into the audience and peck their eyes out.
- 1935 - The first woman to set foot in Antarctica wonders what all the fuss was about.
- 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the space station Mir, cosmonauts test whether communism can work in outer space.
- 2016 - A man in Schenectady, New York is the first person to describe someone's opinion as "hot garbage" (Pictured), is given medal for ruining English.
Picture of the day
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GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real. Image credit: RadicalX |
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