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From today's featured article
Kitten Huffing is a controversial practice that has recently been growing as a popular alternative to street drugs. Despite a long history in Western culture, the practice remains largely taboo. Excessive huffing has been known to produce undesirable side effects, and kitten-related human fatalities. Even unapologetically frequent huffers caution against using more than two or three kittens per day.
A felioca, sometimes called a kitten bong, is a device which looks something like an ordinary bong, but larger, with a filtered port to let air in lest the kitten suffocate, a larger, 2-way filtered port for the actual huffing, an opening to let the kitten in and out while not in use, and a larger, spherical shape that allows the kitten to be comfortable during the huff. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured)
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
In the news
- World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured)
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports
Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston, not the city, but the band, from the city • Chuck Norris doesn't die, he goes to Hell to regroup • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller
Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity
On this day
March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day
- 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey.
- 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades.
- 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it.
- 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi.
- 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper.
- 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months.
- 2026 - a Plane has love affair with A track, making the worlds first Plane-Firetruck hybrid.
Picture of the day
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The cover of Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City, in stores soon. Image credit: RadicalX |
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