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From today's featured article 

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The documents contained herein are of a confidential, classified nature, hence the large red stamp to be found atop this passage. They have been classified according to Provision 401q of the Super-secret Document Protection Act of 1965. That means that not even Greg from accounting is allowed to view the observations, inferences, quibbles, and miscellanea contained in the aforementioned documents. Gives you some perspective, doesn't it. Therefore and thus, someone thinking about, considering, and/or about to open this manila folder in which these documents are contained is subject to torture by unpleasant bodily means at an undisclosed location. Oops, it's already open. Oh well, no crime there. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)
  • ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
  • ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
  • ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
  • ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?

In the news 

O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting

On this day 

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Jülÿ 29: Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt Däÿ

Picture of the day

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This is NOT a potato. René Magritte's homage to Uncyclopedia. It could be a chipolata, actually; it's not a great painting either way.

Image credit: Sannse
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