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From today's featured article

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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
  • ... that Iran is all set to invade itself?
  • ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
  • ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
  • ... that the butler did it?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?

In the news

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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's social media feud • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley CupAaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick DerringerCarolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom QueenJohn RedcornBrian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for himSly Stallone Stone Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEIDiddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenNew York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. KellyLos Angeles, again

On this day

LONG LONG MAN

June 14: Really Long Events Day

  • 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
  • 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
  • 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
  • 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
  • 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
  • 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?

Picture of the day

Mohammed Cartoon (?)
Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head.

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,187 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.