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From today's featured article [Feature an article]

Snakes on a Plane is a 2006 high-concept action thriller film which also doubles as an Internet meme. Based on a relatively obscure Dr. Seuss book, the film highlights Samuel L. Jackson's desperate and heroic battle against some 200,000 poisonous snakes, all of which takes place on the titular plane. (It should be noted that every snake on the plane was non-venomous, and in real life, the flight would have ended with a few minor bites rather than gruesome death.)

Snakes on a Plane was released to highly polarized opinions. Critics griped about its lack of a comprehensive plot, inaccuracies, and nonsensical mix of sex, drugs, gore, snakes, and planes. The Internet, on the other hand, loved it, and spouted Jackson's line "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" about fifty million times. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!

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In the news [edit]

Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured)
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

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On this day [edit]

April 12: Narcolepsy D....zzzzzz

30 AD - Jesus takes a nap. Apostles write their own parables while he's not aware.
124 BC - Forgetting to file his taxes on time, Prometheus uninvents fire in an attempt to delay the deadline, but the Sun foils his plans.
1945 - Orville Redenbacher begins work on The Manhattan Project.
1955 - February's Groundhog leaves hole (Pictured), Spring decides not to come at all this year, skips straight to Summer.
1961 - Yuri Gagarin flies into space, notices an unusual draft coming from his porthole window.
1967 - Che Guevara takes a nap and wakes up in a CIA prison in Bolivia.
1979 - Mel Gibson goes mad and eliminates a rogue biker gang.

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Picture of the day

This is one small step for a gentleman, rather too much for working class types, I fear.

Image credit: Mhaille
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