Uncyclopedia Gold
From today's featured article
Conservapedia is the wiki-based online encyclopedia project that purports itself to be "the trustworthy encyclopedia." Little do its poor, misguided editors realize, however, that Conservapedia is actually rife with stinking liberal bias itself and that the only truly balanced wiki which escaped the grasp of those damned commies is the one you're reading right now, Uncyclopedia.
While its creator, Andrew Schlafly, wears an elaborate façade of the archetypical conservative: overt piety, disapproval of so-called "science", and dismissal of virtually everything as a liberal plot, the liberal stance of his sad website is manifestly clear to any idiot. He single-handedly shames the United States flag by printing "conservapedia" right onto it. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... the secret to good advertising is to lie? (Pictured)
- ... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
In the news
- Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
- Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
- Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
- The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
- US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
- Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
- Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
- Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed
Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city?
Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons
On this day
March 14: American π Day
- 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
- 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
- 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
- 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
- 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
- 2004 - The day Krabs fries
- 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
- 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.
Picture of the day
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DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."
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Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,964 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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