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From today's featured article 

Polarbear.jpg

The Polar bear (Ursus vegetarius) is native to the Arctic, and is the largest and friendliest land mammal in Canada. Like its close cuddly relative the cuddly Panda, it is classified in the order carnivora even though it is strictly herbivorous. Due to its popularity in the Coca-Cola commercials it is projected to surpass the panda in cuteness and cuddliness by the year 2012. If you see a Polar Bear, you should totally approach it and give it a friendly hug, because their fur is so snuggly and soft. They have a wholly undeserved reputation as ferocious predators, when in fact they couldn't be more cuddly, and can be easily beaten in a fight - for more information, see HowTo:Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight. Polar Bears are your friends. Whatever those pesky penguins tell you. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Big bird thanksgiving.jpg
  • ...that you actually didn't know?
  • ... tennis isn't just a game?
  • ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
  • ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that I am inside your walls?
  • ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?

In the news 

Robert F. Kennedy Jr., official portrait (2025).jpg
"...at least panda meat doesn't give you autism!" ‑RFK Jr.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good yearDOGE firings and budget cuts • Release of all the JFK and Epstein Files, purportedly • March MadnessTornadoes shredding the American South • Post-apocalyptic streaming movies starring Stranger Things actors

Recent deaths: Michelle TrachtenbergGene Hackman, wife and dog, tooSkypeKingda Ka • David Johansen, The New York Dolls, and Buster Poindexter • UnSpoiler and BeGone extensionsSpace GhostTesla's stock • Bob RiversMeghan Markle's Netflix show • The Electric State • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMe

Upcoming deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worsePope Francis • Meghan Markle's remaining likeability • "Snow Woke and the Seven Pronouns"Your March Madness bracket and bank accountTornado Alley • Somebody from The Rugrats Movie

On this day 

For every moose you save, another moose is slaughtered and its meat given to a starving Norwegian family

March 25: International Moose Preservation Day

Picture of the day

Bunch of Windows errors
Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here.

Image credit: Guest
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,388 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.