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From today's featured article

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The Reich thanks you for tuning in to this special broadcast of the Nineteen Thirty-Six Nuremberg Rally! All the beer and sausages in Bavaria can't keep you from this great sport, we know. The proud sponsors of this unequalled event, Otto Eberhardt Patronenfabrik, Fokker, and of course Schuberth Helme GmbH, wish to formally convey their joy in being associated with such an occasion. It's Day Two. Let's join the action!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your favorite official commentator, Irvine Lindenberg. Wow, have we got a race for you! It's a bit back from the front, where Mister Goring is off at his usual insurmountable lead, for fifth position. Yes, it's Erich von dem Bach in his trademark SS uniform, duking it out with Rudolph Hess. Look at those eyebrows! You could hide an entire armoured division in there! Hess is in a 1933 MechlebahnSchtop Roadster, 277 horsepower but prone to sudden breakdown; von dem Bach is suffering, you can clearly see it, under the weight of his two iron crosses as he sits uncomfortably at the wheel of his Überbungdenführer SA 18, manufactured in 1934. It's been back and forth as they burst through this last stretch to a High Command-approved watering hole somewhere in Bavaria. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
  • ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
  • ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?

In the news

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"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!"

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter Olympicsr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: LamontBrad ArnoldNFL season • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom Noonan

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about

On this day

Alt + F4 deletes your browser history, try it.

February 19: Alt + F4 Day

Picture of the day

Lego Assassination
The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image credit: Sliferjam
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This article was one of the Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2025
Top 10 articles of 2025