User talk:Jack Phoenix

Go ahead...make my day.

Talk archives

• Archive 1 (beginning of time—17 April 2013)

Votelolwhoring

Forum:Forest Fire Week 3.14: Reloaded Vote yes plz. --The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 20:23, 14 August 2013 (UTC)

a page that is protected that should be put on QVFD

I noticed a one-liner (part of the deletion poilcy, should be deleted. However, the page is under protection. The article is An article that contains nothing but a full stop. Also, I cannot edit QVFD, thereforecannot put the page on there. Figgycity50 (talk) 14:19, 31 August 2013 (UTC)

No. It should be not put into QVFD. Vandalism pages should be put QVFD. This is more of an injoke. So no. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 15:58, 31 August, 2013 (UTC)

Template for noting that I am away

There is a template to show that I will be away. What is that template called? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill | 11:53, 23 September 2013 (UTC)

Problem at VFH

Hey Jack. I tried updating the feature for May 1 but the article isn't showing up on either the main page or the queue list. I've double checked the Feature queue and I'm pretty sure I followed all the steps correctly. Is this a website error or did I miss something? MadMax (talk) 14:14, 1 May 2015 (UTC)

Maybe UnTunes:God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen being featured several months in the future is causing the problem. 141.134.75.236 (talk) 18:51, 1 May 2015 (UTC)

Hie

Interested in helping for UBS? XY007 • talk • contributions 08:20, 24 June 2015 (UTC)

Futurama

Hi Jack. I keep getting an error message for Futurama every so often: "Sorry! This site is experiencing technical difficulties. Try waiting a few minutes and reloading. (Cannot contact the database server)". All the other pages linked from Uncyclopedia:Best of seem to be working normally though. I've tried a few different computers and have gotten the same message. The article was featured on Got Futurama's Twitter channel back in October so I hope it hasn't been down all this time. Thanks for your time. MadMax (talk) 14:26, 16 December 2016 (UTC)

There also appears to be a css error at Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion when logged out. MadMax (talk) 14:37, 16 December 2016 (UTC)

New video extension

Hey Jack. It was recently brought up on the forums that our video embedding extension is rather old and doesn't have nearly as many features as what people coming here from Wikia have grown used to. I've found a more feature complete extension, and Lyrithya directed me here to get your opinion and feedback on this matter. Thanks! -- The Zombiebaron 23:36, 1 March 2019 (UTC)

tl,dr: Sure, sounds good.

The somewhat longer version: EmbedVideo is currently maintained by Gamepedia/HydraWiki, the mostly gaming-oriented wiki platform formerly owned by Curse, Inc. and recently bought by Wikia. As a result of this acquisition the entire HydraWiki platform is going/has gone free and open source and that's wonderful! Although it should be noted EmbedVideo is not a Gamepedia/HydraWiki original extension but rather originally released as free and open source by an independent developer over a decade ago.
It seems that Wikia is investing into Gamepedia, but as history has shown *cough*ArmchairGM*cough*, their interest may dwindle over time; but EmbedVideo has proven to be surprisingly resilient and there is always interest in embedding multimedia (gee, who would've thought that people want to put the media in MediaWiki?! ;-) and thus presumably always someone willing to maintain it.

Now, I must declare my biasedness: while I'm not the original author of the YouTube extension—it was written by Przemek Piotrowski (a.k.a Nef) for Wikia—I do currently maintain it and I originally cleaned up the Wikia version and released it. Therefore, as the maintainer of that thing, I would like to know what EmbedVideo does or does better that YouTube doesn't do? Is there any hope for the YouTube extension or should we just declare it dead in favor of EmbedVideo?

Thanks and as always, if you've got technical questions, I'm more than happy to (try to) answer them! -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 02:16, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

New Poll extension

Hey Jack, we would like to implement this extension as a way of making our site votes more reliable and less tedious. Please let me know if this can be done. Thanks! →L A B O R A T O R I E S 18:09 4 March 2019

I gotta say that while I'm not overly familiar with SecurePoll, I do know it's the extension written by and for the WMF for their board elections, which, as we all know, are super srs biz. Basically this is the underlying reason why I feel it'd be overkill for Uncyclopedia. I also believe that the installation instructions on MediaWiki.org are outdated and lacking, which would make installing and properly configuring SecurePoll at least somewhat more challenging than setting up your average, run-of-the-mill extension, for SecurePoll uses PGP somehow to encrypt the votes, I think.

This is not a definite, absolute no, as I'll defer to legoktm's wisdom in making the final decision on this request, but I will note that I'm not too keen on it for the aforementioned reasons. Simply put, it sounds like the right tool but more than likely isn't. (Likewise, if you're looking to implement something like a more structured user profile on MediaWiki, there are some options — HydraWiki, Wikia and wikiHow for example all have rolled out a somewhat different, custom solution for this same problem, but if you were to ask for my recommendation, I'd say that only one solution is maintained, stable and time-tested, and yes, it'd be the solution that I've significantly contributed to. Simply put, there are many solutions for the same problem in the MediaWiki world, and finding the right one is not an easy task by any means.)

Please do drop me a line with any and all future technical questions, suggestions and other random things for which you'd like my input, I'm more than happy to discuss them! (But I can't promise that what I have to say would be nice, though.) -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 02:16, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

If the goal is to make elections less tedious, then SecurePoll is definitely the wrong way to go about it. My understanding is that to properly encrypt each new poll, it would require sysadmin intervention to generate encryption and decryption keys. I'm not really familiar with the MediaWiki polling options, which site votes are you looking to improve? Legoktm (talk) 06:32, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

Hey Legoktm and Jack Phoenix, good to see you both around, and thank you for stopping by to talk about these extensions. In regards to SecurePoll, a few admins and I were discussing implementing a more secure version of our current poll extension for trial use on so-called high risk site votes, such as votes to alter the logo, perhaps VFD/VFH, and other applications. We weren't able to locate anything that seemed better than SecurePoll in this regard - but if the difficulty of implementing it is really too high, are there any other poll replacement solutions you could recommend where it is impossible for users to vote multiple times? Apparently the other extensions we tried, even those (such as our current one) which can prevent non-autoconfirmed users from voting, were still susceptible to vote manipulation due to their use of caching instead of user IDs. →L A B O R A T O R I E S 06:42 7 March 2019

Happy Monkey Competition 2021

Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:55, 10 February 2021 (UTC)

Poo Lit Surprise is back!

The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:

• Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
• Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
• Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
• Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
• Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!

To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!

Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!

Good luck folks!  Cassandra  (talk) 02:32pm  May 31, 2021

Poo LIt Surprise due date coming up

Hey all! You have three (3) more days to submit something to the Poo Lit Surprise contest if you wish to do so.

Good luck with your creations!  Cassandra  (talk) 23:28, 18 June 2021 (UTC)

I though you might like this

You seem to be into this kind of thing…  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 23:00, 21 October 2021

This user is from Dildo, Newfoundland. At least, they like to tell people that.

♥ -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 23:08, 20 December 2021 (UTC)

Are you able to fix this?

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.3: Error: Too many categories! Maximum: 4. Help: increase $wgDplSettings['maxCategoryCount'] to specify more categories or set $wgDplSettings['allowUnlimitedCategories'] = true; for no limitation. (Set the variable in the wiki's LocalSettings.php configuration file.)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 22:06, 19 November 2021

You won't enjoy the fix I have in mind.

In all seriousness, as discussed on Lyrithya's talk page, DPL is problematic. If we're being fair. Much like Semantic MediaWiki, I know very little about it and what I know scares the hell out of me, so I prefer not to touch it at all if possible. DPL is kinda like mowing your lawn with a tank: crude, inefficient, has the potential to create a lot of other problems...but kinda gets the job done. Kinda. If you're being generous. -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 23:08, 20 December 2021 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021

Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?

Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:53, 13 December 2021

Ah, that time of the year, indeed ♥ -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 23:08, 20 December 2021 (UTC)

Merry Christmas and all that jazz

Santa Baby… Wishing you & yours a Happy Holidays & a Zana Christmas.

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes. Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram. Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue. Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there? Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night. I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton. Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

 –     (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:36, 24 December 2021

rar! ashley

aismallard (talk) 00:05, 10 March 2022 (UTC)

meow! -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 09:35, 11 April 2022 (UTC)

Cock locks

Thanks for adding the cock locks! Is there a way to make them have a message when you hold your cursor over them like on the parody? Also, we wanna do different colors for different levels of protection, but we're still working on that. Thanks. MrX blow me 22:00, 30 March 2022 (UTC)

@MrX: You're more than welcome! This is also the most meaningful feedback I've received in a long time, so thank you for that, honestly. All too often people just...don't report bugs and/or feature requests, but unfortunately developers' magic crystall ball works for only so many situations.

But ask and you shall receive. ;-) (It's not yet live on Uncyc, but feel free to ping me if/when you need it; I'm just being lazy, hence why it's not live. There's no technical reason why it can't be deployed like right now. Also once the change is live, [[File:CockLock icon.svg]] will need to be moved since, as per your request, I've implemented support for two separate CockLocks for both protection levels, fully protected (File:CockLock icon fully protected.svg) and semi-protected (File:CockLock icon semiprotected.svg).)

As always, I look forward to hearing feedback, bug reports, feature requests...whatever you've got, keep 'em coming! -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 09:35, 11 April 2022 (UTC)

Thanks Jack! I guess we might as well wait to implement it. We actually have a third color we want to use, blue for extended confirmed protection, like the parody, except we haven't created that image yet. I tried, but my potatochopping skills are very limited, and I couldn't get it to work. Hopefully someone else will be able to very soon.

As for the messages when you hold your mouse over the lock image, we were thinking "This article is semi-protected, so basically anyone with an account can have at it.", "This article is extended-confirmed protected, we have confirmed an extended cocklock.", and "This article is protected because the admins don't trust you as far as they can spit.".

Hopefully we'll get that third color up soon, then we can go ahead and roll it all out. Cheers. MrX blow me 16:57, 11 April 2022 (UTC)

Hey Jack, okay so we have all 3 images now, here are the ones we'd like to please use:

• File:CocklockSemiProtectedNoSymbol.svg for semi protection
• File:CocklockExtendedProtected.svg for extended confirmed protection
• File:CocklockFullProtectedNoSymbol.svg for full protection

I'm assuming it's best to leave this to you, but I'm happy to try and handle it myself, just don't wanna royally screw everything up. Thanks. MrX blow me 21:55, 15 April 2022 (UTC)

@Jack Phoenix: I think it's all ready now, but let me know if there's anything else you need to implement it. Cheers. MrX blow me 17:02, 18 April 2022 (UTC)

@MrX: Thanks for the ping! So I was feeling a bit less lazy (can you imagine that?! I know I can't ;-) and I decided to deploy the aforementioned changes and shuffle the images around and whatnot.

The ECP stuff was all new to me, and even after asking wiser people and reading about it I'm not sure about its technical implementation. :-) It seems more like a social thing than a strictly software-based thing though I'd assume and hope there's something technical-ish to it as well, but...ummm...how do I put this...this will certainly require (a lot) more research on my part at a Later Date™.

Do note that some of the funniness present in the on-hover titles like this is lost, since there's literally no point in using links in the [[MediaWiki:Cocklock-title-*]] messages because they wouldn't get rendered as links anyway. It's luckily not much of a loss to be honest, the texts are pretty good!

Let me know your thoughts! -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 01:43, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

Thanks Jack! Yes, I completely understand laziness, in fact I too have suffered from it for most of my life. You and I are both victims. Stay strong brother.

Interesting that EC was so tricky when semi vs other protection is working so well. Hopefully that can get fixed soon, but EC is definitely the least common one we use here.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that some funniness was lost with the on-hover messages, they're working perfectly! Hovering your cursor over the lock displays the message about the protection, and clicking it takes you to the policy page (which I will expand in the near future), just like on the parody. Great stuff! Thanks again! MrX blow me 04:36, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

Now I see what you meant, no blue links in the messages, oh well, no big. Thanks again! MrX blow me 04:55, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

┌─────────────────────────────────┘
Hey I just noticed something. The cocklocks appear on any page that is move protected. Is it possible to make it only do that if it's edit protected? For example, Uncyclopedia:Sandbox shouldn't have the lock. Thanks. MrX blow me 05:58, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

This is now done. Furthermore the lock icons also no longer show up on non-default (view) actions like ?action=edit, history, etc. (I also updated the i18n in a separate follow-up commit to remove references to the old CockLock image file because apparently I'm dumb and forgot to do that before. Oh well.)

Regarding EC, MediaWiki's core Title class (Title.php) provides handy accessors called isProtected() and isSemiProtected() which can optionally take a parameter (action name) like 'edit' to only check for edit protection, for example.

Based on a quick glance at the "protect page" screen here, it seems that the extendedconfirmed stuff is just an additional restriction level, but as per Title.php documentation, there is just the aforementioned isProtected() and isSemiProtected() functions (that we care about for our purposes); and it seems that, in a very typical MediaWiki fashion, they've been deprecated in MediaWiki 1.37.

Anyway, so for any and all custom stuff in $wgRestrictionLevels it seems that you'd want to load the restrictions first and iterate over them to do some matching etc. so slightly more complex than using an existing, easy-to-use accessor method. Not hard, just requires a bit of thinking and more testing. :) Especially so because as you can see, the code is structured so that it uses the aforementioned two accessor methods and it makes assumptions like "if this page is not semi-protected, then it must be fully protected"; these assumptions need to be refactored to take the EC case into account.

Thank you for the feedback, once again — it's very much appreciated! <3 -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 10:42, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

Ok sweet thanks! MrX blow me 18:43, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

Module help please

Slightly different topic if you’re not sick of me yet. Do you happen to know how to import Module:Navbox/styles.css and Module:Navbar/styles.css from Wikipedia? Normally I copy and paste, but I get a weird lua error code message. I tried exporting and importing, but I got another weird error message. Any suggestions? Thanks. MrX blow me 18:45, 20 April 2022 (UTC)

Ok Zombiebaron actually suggested a good solution, using an older source content from Wikipedia since our MediaWiki is outdated. Now I just have one last thing to do before my life is complete: do you know how I can get a navbox, specifically this one, to be collapsed in its default state? Thanks. MrX blow me 05:03, 21 April 2022 (UTC)

And actually I'll think we'll be okay without any further changes on this navbox mediawiki thing. I hope all is well, hope we can get the bluecocks on EC soon, but mainly I hope I haven't been too much of a pest :) Cheers. MrX blow me 16:50, 25 April 2022 (UTC)

Software updates, blue cocklocks?

Hey! Hope all is well. Looks like we recently had a software update. Is it now possible to add blue cocklocks for extended confirmed protection? Cheers. MrX blow me 18:33, 4 November 2022 (UTC)

I don't remember who is in charge of the update, but they're someone that joined the server just around the time it updated and has some connection to Lyrhitria. They don't work on any frontend issues either and are now inactive. Maybe Ly hired a contractor or something. Microsoft for POTUS (talk) 04:48, 5 November 2022 (UTC)

QuickVFD gadget isn't working

A couple of months ago i asked Lyrithya for help with the problem that is written down below. Seeing as i won't be getting a response any time soon, i'm just gonna copy it over here and hope you at least see it and hopefully know how to fix it too.

Ciencia told me to pester someone who had edited the page for the QVFD gadget "recently". I'm just copying the response he sent me here (before telling me to ask someone else):

---

After a quick test: Clicking on the link, an error appears in the console:

Uncaught TypeError: $(...).dialog is not a function

The gadget needs to load jquery.ui as a dependency.

If I manually execute mw.loader.load('jquery.ui'), the popup opens, but saving prints an error:

x Saving failed Error: missingparam - The "token" parameter must be set.

---

20:17, 6 June 2024 (UTC)

@Alula: Apologies for the delayed reply, it's been too long since I logged in again...

In short, lots of things going on here, some I managed to fix, some not just yet. :-( Now the gadget looks like it's working but it fails to save the edit (!). Nevermind, I was wrong, it was just annoyingly slow, it looks like? Please do give it a go and see if it behaves as you'd expect it to.

The existing/fixed issues:

1. Missing or incorrect dependencies — jquery.ui.* ResourceLoader modules like jquery.ui.dialog were folded into jquery.ui, so to load e.g. the dialog UI stuff, you gotta load all of jQuery UI nowadays, because upstream wants to get rid of jQuery UI entirely. (They're wrong, but it's hardly the first nor the last time in history.) In the past, using jquery.ui.dialog was absolutely correct, but it's not anymore. Likewise, the JS was using mediawiki.util function without declaring an explicit dependency on that RL module
2. Old and invalid token code — per mw:MediaWiki 1.37/Deprecation of legacy API token parameters the intoken parameter is no longer a thing. I tried fixing it but clearly something went wrong. (I'll see about consulting an actual JS programmer about this...) The use of the XML format is really throwing me off as well. XML was never cool!

-- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 02:49, 5 July 2024 (UTC)