UnTunes:God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen, God Screw Ye Royally, Gentlemen, or God Screw You Royal Gentlemen (the latter as sung by the Sex Pistols) is an English Christmas Carol that dates back to the mid-18th century and describes the frustration felt by a husband towards the gentlemen who took advantage of his wife's openness. The song has many different versions and variants because of its long and muddled history.
Lyrics
Below are two different examples of the lyrics, the first indicative of how it was performed from its synthesis in the 1760s, the second implying a slight change in attitudes and behaviour towards the social issues that the carol tackles.
- Circa 1760 (from Songs For The Estrang'd Father):
- God screw you roy'lly, Gentlemen
- Back off my fiancée;
- You've gone and got her pregnant
- And for that you'll all pay.
- To have the blighter that she wants
- Now you've all gone away.
- Which brings shitloads of paperwork and bills.
- Circa 1800 (from Three New Songs to Tell the Child He's Adopted, printed by J. Smart):
- God screw you roy'lly gentlemen
- Back off my fiancée.
- Once we know who the father is
- All twelve of you will pay:
- To sue you I must get a lawyer:
- Law will be my mainstay.
- This brings shitloads of paperwork and bills.
- In the UK, the de facto baseline reference version is that adopted by Carols for Choirs, (OUP, 1961):
- 1. God screw you royally, gentlemen,
- Back off my fiancée.
- Why did you get her pregnant?
- I'll make all of you pay.
- She wants the child and so I must be
- Suing night and day.
- O shitloads of paperwork and bills,
- papers and bills,
- O shitloads of paperwork and bills.
- 2. I've tried to make it work with her
- She didn't; not so she came.
- Though she liked certain plumbers
- With me she feels the same:
- For compensation when he's born
- A Son of mine by name:
- O shitloads ...
- 3. The King down to the lowly paupers
- Engaged in the grind.
- But now they'll all be tested
- And to a contract bind.
- Hopes upon hopes it will not be
- The Jew's genes that we find:
- O shitloads ...
Featured Article (read another featured article)
Featured version: 21 December 2015
This article has been featured on the front page. You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.