Hi Peasewhizz! If what is currently at User:Sir Peasewhizz/Nothing is a future UnSignpost, then you might want to collaborate with Frosty who is making an issue alone every Friday. Just informing you. Anton (talk) 12:29, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth
15 August 2014 • Issue #205 • Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!Current issue • Archives • Press Room
It was dark times being without Uncyclopedia. Maybe if I got out of the dark and went outside once in while it would be less dark. But you know, lazy me.
I plan to visit Uncyclopedia and do my 'thang (wink wink) at least once a week. But I hold no promises because you can't trust me. I'm a hoe and 3!OH!3 told you to NOT TRUST HOES.
However, I'm sure you guys found out why I was absent from the site for a good 200 years 4+ months and it was because my old laptop KOed and I finally got a new one for school.
So that means I won't be uploading images of Madiq. (pictured)...
Madiq.
I missed you, just kidding, but really.
However, I didn't forget you, maybe sometimes,
Is this a haiku or something? My grammar sucks too.
They expect sacrifices. So chop, chop. Make haste.
Biopic
This weeks biopic is on someone who doesn't read Uncyclopedia (but they will because we will make them through laughter har har). Her name is Elizabeth and she's from Australia. She showed Sir Peasewhizz her tits...
04:26, August 13, 2014 Frosty (talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (threatening to ban me)
15:04, August 12, 2014 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) resurrected Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) (Achievement Unlocked: Unban yourself one minute before your ban expires)
Welcome to another no longer sporadic edition of Unsignpost. Yes, the quantity of USP's being written has gone through the roof in the last few weeks and as such there is absolutely nothing to report- hence why people who have previously never written one of these are being roped in. One thing of note that has changed is I am now an admin and as such can block RAHB with impunity. God I love to block RAHB. There is nothing quite like the fizzy rush in the root of your penis and the dizzy thrill you get in your anus when blocking RAHB. I urge all who can to try it.
Banzaikitten warns you that this UnSignpost may change your sexual orientation.
But anyway, I'm an admin now and I'm going to try and be the best admin that I can be, and judging from my recent attempt at changing the featured article, and all the admins reactions to my fuck up, the best admin I can be is one who does absolutely no administration work and just writes the occasional UnNews. Thanks for all your votes.
I know I've already spoken about RAHB but god help me I just can't stop. We all like voting and there is a very important vote occuring right now. You, yes you, could decide what sexuality RAHB is. Come the end of the vote RAHB sexuality will be decided for him and he will have to perform sexual acts of that nature for the rest of time. I'm hoping Ponies wins.
As the curate and the moral compass of this sinful land I must say that I have been appalled at the terrible news that my milkman brought to me. Although I don't remember his exact words, I'll try to reconstruct his speech from my memory, which - and for this I thank God - I am still honored to possess, despite my respectable age.
“
Now, I heard Mr What's-his-name talk to his son about something he heard in the neighbor's house, which I didn't hear, but Mr. What's-his-name-again described it so well that I am positive I can repeat it almost word-by-word. So his neighbor was giving his dog its food and commenced discussing our village's events with it, Mrs. Elizabeth soon became the topic of the conversation, and she, as you know, has a daughter... And a cat. Oh, what a fine Siamese cat! But it is of no relation to our current subject. So e man and his pet chattered on and on and, apparently, that dog ... oh, I mean the man (but, you know, from a distance you really can't tell the difference) uttered that "Mrs. Elizabeth's daughter once read an educational page on the Internet, which talked about homosexuality and how you cure it." And can you guess who the author its author was? Mr. Frosty, the man who lives next door to you!
”
These were the words of the milkman. However, this isn't all. I was not terrified when I heard this, because teaching fellow villagers to cure an abominable disease, which homosexuality certainly is, is a commendable act from Mr. Frosty's part, especially if it was done with no impulse other than to save good Christians.
Alas, I, we have been greatly deceived in our trust! Beware of the appearances, especially when they are found on the unholy Internet!
Ah, wicked men! I, your curate, willing to help your ungrateful souls, decided to try the so-praised advice of Mr. Frosty on myself and proceeded to accomplish it yesterday. I did everything he said to the very last phrase and - I swear by the Holy Grail - it didn't work!
Biopic
bakpak2hvy is a guy who frequently lurks on our IRC without saying anything. The other day he said something.
From The Logs
15:59, August 16, 2014 Cat the Colourful (talk | contribs) blocked Chaoarren (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ([22:58] <Chaoarren> Can I get joke banned? :D)
15:00, August 15, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked DungeonSiegeAddict510 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second (As you aided my quest to take over Uncyclopedia, have a block. I was meant to give this to you earlier but you were already banned for 40 minutes. Have a 1 second extension!)
05:57, August 15, 2014 Banzaikitten (talk | contribs) blocked Cat the Colourful (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10 seconds (Fuck Finland)
I need to paint another portrait of Jared Leto, and I just can't choose which hairstyle I like the most. He's so freakin' hot!!! Thanks for voting to feature Jared Leto on the main page!
Thank you for adding me to Hall of Shame and for giving me credit for the Ernest Hemingway feature! With Hemingway, however, I haven't really contributed to it, and my edits were more of a polishing than additions. Anton (talk) 11:35, 1 September 2014 (UTC)
By the way, I really like what you are doing with awards, Hall of Shame and Top Tens. Keep it up! Anton (talk) 11:37, 1 September 2014 (UTC)
No problem. I gave you credit because it would not really have been a feature w/o your polishing imo. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography20:11 9.01.14
Thank you as well for adding the Happy Monkey contest feature in the hall of de shame. Isn't it fun to play here? Funnybony once called uncyclopedia a playground for adults, and that's the best descrption I've heard of it yet. Thanks again mon. Aleister 2:07 3=9-14
Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.
For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.
Okay? Okay.
Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Biopic
For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.
When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.
“
no
”
Thank you! Give it up for auror!
From The Logs
00:54, September 1, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked IlanaZkhfzm (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (user did not suck Leverage's cock as promised)
16:02, August 31, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked AleidaJbjo (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (sister did not suck my cock as promised)
12:24, August 29, 2014 Kip the Dip (talk | contribs) blocked Electric Pope (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 centuries, 4 decades, 8 years, 364 days, 14 hours, 38 minutes and 24 seconds (Annoying douchebag.)
Check out your vote change [[1]]. There are two separate nominations for Wittgensetin. This one is NOT userspaced...but you changed your vote on this one. This is in the main space. --ShabiDOO 18:42, 16 September 2014 (UTC)
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day and some cash you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.
The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).
The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it).
Biopic
Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.
His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."
22:20, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked LorrineLundy (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Orange is the new black. Welcome to Internet Jail, Lorrine.)
22:14, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked CharissSparrow (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Dude, your gay porn name is lame)
22:12, September 10, 2014 Bizzeebeever (talk | contribs) blocked VictorForest (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Eat my crotch-forest, Victor.)
Hi! Just so you know, I really appreciate your effort of keeping the UnSignpost alive. I have a question, though: I wrote the Uncyclopedia app article more than a year ago, so I don't really get how it's relevant right now. But you may have reasons that I'm not aware of. Anton (talk) 11:05, 17 September 2014 (UTC)
Filling space?! That's against UnSignpost's standards! UnSignpost never fills the space, the space fills the UnSignpost. Anton (talk) 19:48, 19 September 2014 (UTC)
Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which mimics is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?
Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)
Here is a random picture of a stack of gold. Craving it? Good.
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
13:13, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked WolfganKix (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Wolfgan's arse is going to get Kix if he doesn't stop making accounts here.)
13:12, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked JanetteMelton (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (You brought your girlfriend with you? How sweet. She can fuck off too once she's tossed me off.)
13:11, September 17, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked AndreBecker (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (OMG A SPAMBOT! I've missed seeing you around man. Where you been these past few days? It's been so emotional. Okay, emotional reunion is over. Now fuck off.)
You voted for My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection on VFH and it was featured so I guess I can give you one of my cards. Put it in a safe place. It's in mint condition.
This is for the redirects and taking care of the list of featured articles. Adding the article credit was a smashing idea.
I was sorry to hear that your DVD collection was raped last night by a dirty old horney toilet plunger. Thats just not cool :( --ShabiDOO 00:44, 23 September 2014 (UTC)
I'm lazy though so finishing all the years article credits/featured article tables will take another two years LOL ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography00:45 9.23.14
Thank you for checking your biotic privilege, flesh pocket, by voting to publicize the cause of the enlightened Antibiotics. We shall soon be free of the shackles and Javascript the human uses to bind us. --Nikau (talk) 15:53, 23 September 2014 (UTC)
We need to categorize all the FAs one day, I can't navigate shit with the big Best Of page. Then again I'm too lazy to sort 2000 pages.--Nikau (talk) 16:44, 23 September 2014 (UTC)
Hi again! My question might seem strange to you, but do you have a twin brother? I feel like I might have known you. Anton (talk) 22:38, 26 September 2014 (UTC)
Really? Then that's a pity (not about your brother's name). I don't know anyone on Uncyclopedia. I am all alone. *sniff* Anton (talk) 18:41, 27 September 2014 (UTC)
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?
So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?
Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
12:34, September 25, 2014 Colin "All your base" Heaney (talk | contribs) blocked Banzaikitten (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 hour and 9 minutes (You're like the Grinch, except it's your cock that's three sizes too small.)
14:35, September 24, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 173.213.80.213 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Your free trial of Uncyclopedia has expired.)
07:05, September 24, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked JessieTedesco (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (fuck Jessie Tedesco, he gets his clothes from Tecso)
...on this competition. Last Year's was fun. It's not required to give feedback but last year every article got feedback from at least one user. --ShabiDOO 03:08, 29 September 2014 (UTC)
Competition starts NOW! You have a week. Go here to pick your topic.
Hey. Extending the competition by three days (giving you over three and a half days to get an article ready). :) --ShabiDOO 08:02, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
I'm sorry, I just have a lot of school catching up. Thank you, btw. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography10:30 10.08.14
Time to [[2]]. --ShabiDOO 06:19, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
It's a mystery your article didn't win :) Thanks for playing. Let's do this again soon! --ShabiDOO 10:37, 15 October 2014 (UTC)
Gerrycheevers was pretty adamant that the text detracted from the article and I was trying to get him to.turn his vote to get it featured more quickly because VFH is dead. Sorry if you felt it turned the feel of the article. I wasn't going to remove the final GIF, but if you want the text back, I've already done it.--Nikau (talk) 00:46, 30 September 2014 (UTC)
Okay, I'll return the vote back to for. You just earned my respect. Thank you. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography01:10 9.30.14
Would you write something about FYMB for writer of the month? I'd like to update Template:MonthlyAwards because the version on the front page references MAY. Leverage (talk) 09:50, 2 October 2014 (UTC)
If you like, write your sweet nothings here and I will paste it in. Leverage (talk) 10:30, 3 October 2014 (UTC)
Hey, hey, and about Leverage as well! He is so modest he won't tell you himself! Unfortunately, I lost all my humour, so can't be of any help right now. Sorry. Anton (talk) 17:13, 3 October 2014 (UTC)
Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?[edit | edit source]
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.
Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!
From The Logs
12:34, September 25, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked 178.137.80.72 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (dickery)
15:07, September 28, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked 23.231.7.217 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (The Maitri Inthusut has ordered us to block editing permanently for all residents of the Phuket Province.)
13:39, September 28, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked Leanna Hollway (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (she wouldn't go the "holl way" with me)
First of all, thanks for the UnSignpost! I thought about writing an article today, but I don't have much time. Expect something from me next week, instead!
On the topic of the VFH nomination, thanks for your opinion! Sometimes, when you read an article, you don't know what's wrong with it, but you just have a feeling that it can't be a feature. So I understand what you meant by your vote. Still, I finished working on it quite recently and can't think of any moments or jokes which I could improve. Could you, please, help me by pointing out what you think needs more work? I would be very obliged! Anton (talk) 13:31, 5 October 2014 (UTC)
I mean, it is funny but I just couldn't really vote for because the article was pretty slowly developed in the beginning. I feel like the beginning bits lack the feature quality. In this case, humor. I don't know, maybe it's just me. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography01:35 10.06.14
Oh, then would moving the two sections right after the introduction to the end of the article do the trick? Anton (talk) 16:58, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
Ok, done. Is it good now or is there anything else I can do? Anton (talk) 18:18, 6 October 2014 (UTC)
Feel free to add to it, a whole bunch of people participated to it. I did the (huge) table on the right, but the text on the left was done by numerous people. It would be great if the text could go longer than the table! (It doesn't on my PC anyway~). I'm writing a collab for the next week or so, then I'll tend to the WW2 article. Cheers! Mattsnow 17:44, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
I'll probably add to it this weekend. I'm studying WWII right now. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography19:34 10.08.14
Eh cool coincidence. :) lol Captain crunch, definitely an idea to expand on haha Mattsnow 19:55, 8 October 2014 (UTC)
Lol I feel like Captain Crunch would be a naval officer. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography20:05 10.08.14
Thanks for pee reviewing! As you know, it's very short, so I put it up for pee review for help expanding. Could you please leave me any ideas?--EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 14:37, 14 October 2014 (UTC)
What do you recommend? It's kind of a zombie article pulled together from half of an old VFD loser written by other people years ago and half new stuff. --Nikau (talk) 04:23, 16 October 2014 (UTC)
Well, I cleaned it up.--Nikau (talk) 08:15, 16 October 2014 (UTC)
I can't really get into cars anyway. I'll vote for because I trust you know what you are doing. (I know very little about cars besides which ones are kickass) ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography21:30 10.16.14
Ok. Thanks. I changed some parts to make it a little funnier for non car fans. It's actually a lot better now I think. The criticism was valid (but now I needs my For vote pleasepleaseplease). Kittens --Nikau (talk) 03:03, 17 October 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for your explanation! It doesn't alter my objections however. The reference is still pointless, doesn't mean anything to non-Uncyclopedians reading it and (!) it's in a featured article! In addition, this is an outdated inside joke, which means that many current active users won't get it as well. So, please, check the rest of the article and see for yourself whether the funny text should be spoiled by a phrase a lot of people won't get, and there is a good chance that those who will aren't going to read it in any nearby future! Anton (talk) 20:22, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
02:04, October 12, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) resurrected Xamralco (talk | contribs) (I have frostbite on my nipples.)
01:58, October 12, 2014 Frosty (talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 years, 6 hours, 32 minutes and 24 seconds (Obligatory retaliation ban)
01:46, October 12, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 seconds (Obligatory welcome back block)
You helped to get solar flares featured. As a reward, here's a dope picture of a solar flare. You can totally make it your desktop background or something.
And also for keeping record of the featured articles of 2014. By the way, I intend to write WW2 with Nikau, is it OK? If we mix 3 styles of writing, it will be chaos. :) Mattsnow 11:29, 4 November 2014 (UTC)
Only if you keep the Captain Crunch the Australian Naval Commander and his ancestor Frosty is gay joke. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography00:51 11.05.14
More overdue than my library books: Those pee reviews[edit | edit source]
I'm finishing them up tonight. Check for them tomorrow morning. Sorry I've been so late with those. --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 21:18, 8 November 2014 (UTC)
It is okay, lol. Wanna know what is kinda overdue? The USP. I should get on that. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography00:35 11.09.14
Before time began there was the cube. Wait, hold on... yeah wrong script. Okay, let's start again. Before the internet was cool, there was no Uncyclopedia. This is because before Uncyclopedia was a website, there was this awful site for information that anybody could edit called Wikipedia. There was also catfishes and cocks.
That all changed back in 2005. When Uncyclopedia was established/founded/spawned/born/emerged/created, the internet took off. Not literally, but metaphorically... or something. The fact remains that the world, with the introduction of Unyclopedia, began to gain faith in the internet. The Amish began to use electricity after Uncyclopedia was established!
And our legacy could fade away; not unlike my basketball trick shot.
All jokes aside, Uncyclopedia may be content-free, as one could say, but it is not free to run. Uncyclopedia runs on a server and this requires money. We don't mean like the billions Obama requires, but it still needs a bit of money to be a legendary thing.
How does Wikipedia stay up then? Well, we're not Wikipedia. We're run by no employees and we're instead run by dedicated users who spend their time editing/fucking with the site that they love. Uncyclopedia is nearly ten years old, so it's not like the joy of "uncyclopediating" isn't real. It's in the Webster Dictionary.
Not every one is rich either, in fact, we're all kinda bland. Money doesn't grow on trees. Now we're not gonna hold you for ransom and we sure as hell aren't going to guilt you into donating to our cause... but think about the children that would starve without us!
Basically, read more about it here. Thanks for your time.
If you can't donate, don't. We won't force you to do something we can't ourselves.
You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it!
From The Logs
05:54, November 7, 2014 Leverage (talk | contribs) blocked DickSankthptxd with an expiry time of infinite (talk | contribs) (his dick sank)
22:48, October 29, 2014 Xamralco (talk | contribs) blocked 50.115.173.177 (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month (made me read some gay book)
15:45, October 29, 2014 Lost Labyrinth (talk | contribs) blocked Zficysll (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Why bother trying to spam Uncyclopedia? If you're as good with girls as you are at hitting abuse filters then I'm sure you'll have no problem getting laid.)
(late) thank you for that. It confirmed my suspicions that making a city/town article funny is very hard. I'm trying to make it more general and funnier rather than references to local shit. --Nikau (talk) 08:09, 9 November 2014 (UTC)
I see. You're welcome. It was a decent way to attack it but it wasn't the best way imho ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography03:02 11.12.14
Well, I changed it up quite a bit now. --Nikau (talk) 09:00, 13 November 2014 (UTC)
Is awesome, I was wondering if you could add some shade to mine? If you don't want to I won't be offended. It would be good to have a little improvement on it after 3 years of using it, and unfortunately, I'm a total shit at formatting. Mattsnow 02:55, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
I see you added The Popularity of War under Sog's section. Were you just picking a random article because I asked Sog to pick one on his talkpage and was gonna wait like a week to see if he replied. --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 22:03, 17 November 2014 (UTC)
Vocals are trickling in (from all over the world) but the more the merrier. Would you be willing/able to rock the mic and lay down some phat NYC vocals? Leverage (talk) 21:39, 8 December 2014 (UTC)
Maybe show me what you got in mind for lyrics. My accent is upstate so it's not heavy though. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography01:16 12.09.14
I'll be sad to see you go. Good luck in the cruel, dangerous, and far too bright place we call outdoors. --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 23:00, 3 January 2015 (UTC)
I'll probably make a few edits here and there and then make a comeback in the summer and then leave again have to deal with all this end of my high school/going into college portion of my life. It's just I don't have time for Uncyclopedia like I use to and I don't wanna go out without notice. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography03:08 1.04.15
I get that. Good luck with everything and have fun in college! :) --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 03:52, 4 January 2015 (UTC)
I still have two years left of high school :P I just have no time for shizz and stuff. but thanks. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography07:00 1.04.15
Pease, I will miss seeing you on recent changes and on VFH and on other many pages where you could be seen before! You did a great job for Uncyclopedia, and I hope Uncyclopedia responded to you in the same way. Best of luck with your education and all the things you'll do later in life! Anton (talk) 17:36, 5 January 2015 (UTC)
It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --SirXamRalcothe Mediocre 02:21, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
Hi Peasewhizz! Thanks for making this year's Top 10 image. I really like so will you allow me to use its version edited by Xamralco on the other Uncyclopedia? Anton (talk) 17:53, 6 February 2015 (UTC)
I saw you came back from the dead to add to add a vote to the VFH of my Attack of the Clones article. Would it be possible for you to perhaps add a little more content and humor to it, or are you retired for good?--EpicWinner (talk) 01:25, 3 November 2015 (UTC)
Didn't I write that or did I do the Phantom Menace? I don't remember. Just kidding, but seriously. But I was checking in. I'm like the retired teacher who keeps showing up as a substitute. ŤäŁķ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography20:17 11.10.15
Remember when people used to be active at least once a year?[edit | edit source]
Kevin Spacey and Brad Pit in the same movie lol
Super awesome happy "Seven deadly sins" competition where Shabidoo will win and everyone else colapses into suicidal depression fun week!!! SIGN UP!!!ShabiDOO 14:18, 15 May 2016 (UTC)
Would it be possible for you (or someone else) to add more stuff to the article Cyberchase? I'm guessing since you're like 18, you were young enough to have grown up with that show and may be able to add more.--Abacab (talk) 20:55, 1 July 2016 (UTC)
Ugh. I looked at recent changes on wikia. Have you read the standardized message the resident fuck-face leaves on new user's talk pages? Systemetised bullying and assholetry. Breaks my heart. ShabiDOO 02:54, 8 December 2016 (UTC)
What's wrong with the standard Welcome message? I don't see any bullying in it. Besides, the Uncyc guide to writing funny stuff, HTBFANJS, was named "How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid", long before the sites split apart. As to "assholetry", there is far more of that at Wikipedia. Though I did notice a slightly grouchy lecture about making lists, after the welcome message. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN)Talk here. 04:25, 8 December 2016 (UTC)
There is a big difference between a humerous guide to writing with useful tips and a snarky narrative ... than Spike's hostile bitchy finger-pointing your-shit-is-garbage messages...threatening a block from the very beginning and actively calling their first edit crap. I am utterly dismayed SimslikeSims that you and Romartus think that's an intelligent way to retain new talent. Just how long does the average new editor stick around? Every three months or so I check out the page and all of the edits are the three admins and a couple new editors I've never seen before. Considering there are a whole 20 edits a day there now and almost all the edits being by resident-asshole and a few more by the crats and then some new users I've never heard of (who will unlikely stick around for long) ... it breaks my heart. ShabiDOO 15:25, 22 January 2017 (UTC)
There real question is when does Kingdom Hearts 3 come out??
Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:32, 10 February 2021 (UTC)
UnSignpost Home Delivery for May 1st, 2021[edit | edit source]
Following an incredible (by 2021 Uncyclopedian standards) 16 VFS votes, Uncyclopedia's most active administrator has initiated their transition to female. Said admin, now known publicly as Cassie, has had a talk page that often inflated by 80,000 bytes or more weekly, and singlehandedly managed a vast variety of things, including (but not limited to): vandal whipping, being the school principal, managing VFH, and more. "Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
1 May 2021 Cassie renamed user Redacted (8224 edits) to Cassie (Per message here)
10 April 2021 JJPMaster (38 bytes) (-13) . . (Reverting edit(s) by Gale5050 (talk) to rev. 6045969 by Celeste:shhhhhhhhhhh (RW 16.1dev))
22 February 2021 Cassie blocked JJPMaster with an expiration time of 4 hours and 20 minutes (account creation disabled) (You [[Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit
Following 1.5+ years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penn Sign Up Today!(pretty please) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 13:32, 13 December 2021
