User talk:Nikau

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Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month December 2011
Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month October 2014

Grand Cross of the Order




I hope you'll be adding some more to Tradesman - you've got some great ideas there, can't wait to read the finished article. Welcome to Uncyclopedia, by the way! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 13:17, 27 March 2009 (UTC) thanks

It's attracting For votes at a fair old rate - six already. I think you have a definite feature there! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 14:30, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
Well, well, well...I think that is possibly the quickest I've ever seen an article go from nomination to confirmed feature. A very big well done! :-) Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 16:07, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for all the help, I'm glad people liked it. I don't really need all these awards, all I really need now is another good idea :) --Nikau 13:44, 25 April 2009 (UTC)


I wonder if I might as you to make use of the "Preview" button. The one next to "Save Page". It works (honest) and helps us if you do. There is no need to save the page every time you want to see what it will look like. Thanks... MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 13:45, Mar 27 ok

Welcome Nikau.


Hello Nikau, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:

  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.

If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm propablly still on-line). A list of administrators can be found here. If you think you are going to be around a while, and would like extra help on a more personal level, you just might be able to convince someone at the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program to take you under their wing. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave one of them a message on their talk page.

Remember to use the "Preview" button before you save your edits to make sure that the page looks as you want it. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

Again, welcome!  --


hey nikau, i didn't get around to vote on tradesmen, but good job! in that vein, there is still a pee review for the article in the you want to put it back in the queue to get some more feedback, or can we deep-six it? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:10, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

No point giving people extra work when I am happy with it as is. --Nikau 11:56, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
noted. thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:52, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Ancient World[edit]

Thanks for your comments on my page. I am trying to finish a the new version of Augustus to replace the original crap Middle Earth knock off that was there. I also don't mind additions to any of the stories I have done - as long as they are not drastic rewritings !

Regards 'rape and pillage' - that is a biggie . I think that could be a hard one to mine humour from unless you are careful. It is also a subject that stretches throughout history up to today.

--Romartus 14:36, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
Rape and Pillage is mainly a parody of Vikings, because there was already a Viking article. You know a lot more than me about classical history, so I'd probably poke around on my own in a new article. --Nikau 14:44, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

No probs regards rape, pillage and the vikings. It isn't my main historical interest but I will look out for your article and feel free as regards asking me for an opinion on it. --Romartus 14:52, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Free Stuff[edit]

Google-tshirt thumbnail.jpg While I was over at the Googleplex researching History of Google
I managed to grab a load of these promotional t-shirts.
Here's one for you because you voted for the article on VFH!
Model not included.
Thankyou from Rabbi Techno

You're a Good Writer[edit]

Therefore, you should join my usergroup. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:12, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks thank tank!!![edit]

Sticklady.jpg I have to thank you all again

Because you voted for my page about my Nursery to get featured on the front page of the internet and that’s really awesome because Mummy got me a new toy! Although she did tell me never to pee in the sandpit again.

Also, good to meet ya! ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 08:36 27 May 2009

VFH HowTo become king[edit]

You abstained because of the transgender thing, right? What do you suggest to improve it? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Egypt_orb_spinning.gif 09:08 May 27 '09

Well I would suggest removing that whole section as it seems not particularly relevant to becoming a King. It appeared to be unnecessary padding before the funnier parts below. The reader wishes to become a King and do ridiculous kingly things rather than focus on technicalities like gender. You can make the article longer through more fun poking at kingly cliches, as you did with the dragon part. --Nikau 09:20, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
will do, sir. Many thanks :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Egypt_orb_spinning.gif 09:25 May 27 '09


Hey Nikau[edit]

Are you still around? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 19:21, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Afghanistan and whatnot[edit]

A very solid, original, funny piece. The line about X number of Afghan police eventually becoming "unorthodox" or "too old for this shit" was particularly good. Put it up for review if you haven't already, polish up a bit, and you should have a feature on your hands. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:04, January 2, 2010 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews[edit]

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Nikau, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha.jpg Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Where can I see Back of Tall, Balding Man’s Head?[edit]

It sounds fascinating - any idea when it'll be released in the UK? Excellent article again, by the way - I can tell you watch a lot of independent films! Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 08:57, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Ta, thanks :) I am glad you liked it, now all I need is a nice conclusion to tie it up. The idea came when I was watching a film with my friends and we literally started discussing the worst thing anyone had done at the cinema. During the film. We should get an award for that level of knobery. --Nikau 09:08, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
Makes me think of a French friend of mine who got drunk in the local arts cinema and ended up calling the manager a fascist, which led to a fight. She got banned for life. Rabbi Techno Icons-flag-gb.png kvetch Icon rabbi.gif Contribs Foxicon.png FOXES 10:16, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Advanced Study Program[edit]


Thanks for voting Symbol for vote.svg For. HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster! --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  11:56, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Again[edit]


Maybe I can top this someday!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:47, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Wow. Ta![edit]

A WotY nom? Wow, thanks - flattered you think I deserve even a nom, frankly! Much obliged to you, Nikau, you've cheered me right up! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 12:38, Jan 14

HowTo:Be A King[edit]

Been rewritten. Check it out! FreddAin't Dedd 22px-Flag_of_Egypt.png 18px-Foxicon.png 13:50 • Tuesday, 19-01-2010

Thanks for the Germany image[edit]

Celtic Ninja Star
This person has done good deeds in the eyes of Sycamore

Keeping with tradition I always award my highest award for someone who makes an image for one of my articles. Thanks again:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:32, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

Late thanks[edit]

Colinmeloy3.jpg An expression of gratitude
We appreciate your discerning judgment and shrewd disposition in voting for HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics, even though the author is a ne'er-do-well and never pealed a steeple bell.

~Scriptsiggy.JPGPlease talk to me. Please. MUN CUN RotM 18:05, Jan 24, 2010

Thank you!![edit]

In Response To Your West Timorese Fanboy Rant Mild Criticism[edit]

M'su welcomes you!

My article, West Timor, was supposed to be more of a parody of North Korea (i.e "Uniting West and East Timor=Uniting North And South Korea; The West Timor Ideology= The Juche Ideal") then an actual parody of West Timor. But I Should've done more research anyway, since all I really did was skim through the Wikipedia article on East Timor. How did you know the history of West Timor? Are you from Indonesia?. Anyways, welcome to Uncyclopedia! By the way,allow me to introduce myself: I am M'su Carencro, and I discovered Uncy a few weeks ago. Since then I've been making crappy articles to contribute to the increasingly bigger pile of crap called Uncyclopedia.

Nikau has been here ages, ain't he? --nldr 22:00, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
Longer than me, longer than anyone. He is...the one above all... M'su Carencro - Talk - Contributions - Blag 22:13, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
I'm originally from Malaysia but have lived in Australia and New Zealand virtually all my life. I have family in Indonesia though. --Nikau 01:59, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

You're alive![edit]

You wouldn't believe how many Uncyclopedians have come back from the dead lately. Welcome back, dude! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 00:37, 1 October 2011


Ah yes, I took a brief....errrr lengthy leave of absence but have recently started plugging away at articles again. You would appear to have taken some hiatuses yourself. I notice that you have one of my templates on this talk page - for a vote on Enhanced Interrogation Techniques. Clearly my most popular article yet as it almost made it to the top 10 in 2010. I think that got featured early 2010 and I wasn't around much after that. Just needed to replenish the brain because I felt like a change in online scenery was in order. I was drying up on ideas and wanted to pursue other things.
I just read through Australian Electoral System and have the following no-holds-barred thoughts. It's kind of rambling - there's a lot of Aussie history and things that stray from the subject. Example: lots of American references which digress from the flow. I thought the picture of the Washington National's president races was very funny with the caption but I was left wondering why it was in an article about the Aussie electoral system. Prose is a little meh in places which kind of dulls some otherwise good joke material.
So, I see about 3-4 different building blocks for separate articles kind of mashed together - which makes it a tedious read. While I would personally strip away all of the non sequitur material from the article in order to streamline it, I wouldn't necessarily throw that stuff away. Like I said, you have multiple building blocks there. Streamline, simplify and stay away from American or British metaphorical observations - just my opinion.
Also, if you like my hilariously funny and well researched golden nuggets of writing, I'm currently in the process of shamelessly whoring an article on VFH which is close to being featured. Hope my pee review lite was helpful.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:29, October 3, 2011 (UTC)


Hi! Just stumbling by to say I put your UnNews on the front page template, I enjoyed it. I'm kind of the UnNews puppy watchdog. I noticed a little fuck-up in the date template at the end of the article, you may want to look into it. I'm taking the next comet! Talk Mattsnow 12:53, October 6, 2011 (UTC)

nice. It is the baby of Onion addiction, but I feel the need to tinker with the ending still. --Nikau 13:08, October 6, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for the kind words for the doping article! As for the vfh, I'm not 100% sure, I think the prose is great, but there could be a couple more jokes... And I submitted some articles from other users recently that I really liked and they got are getting destroyed, so I don't bring luck in recent times it seems... What I'd do if I were you is submit it on Pee Review. If in a week nobody picks it, you can then nom it yourself, or wait for the review to have suggestions to improve it and have an opinion. Since it's not a timely UnNews, you have all the time in the world to improve it before nomming it anyway. On a related topic, I tried what Lance Armstrong is taking and I am typing this message on my laptop while pedaling up a slope at 50 mph. Talk Mattsnow 04:17, October 7, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, I'll be happy to do the Pee Review, but it may take a couple of days. I'm gonna rape this article :D Talk Mattsnow 09:16, October 19, 2011 (UTC)
Man, I have enjoyed your article greatly! I hope the Pee Review helps! Here it is: Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Extraterrestrial life Feel free to contact me. Talk Mattsnow 12:09, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
I think I'll take your whoring offer. I'd like to have an opinion about that one: HowTo:Snowboard your way to awesomeness!. It's more a feel good article than an all-out LOL one, but I am kind of stuck. Ideas? Suggestions? Unfunny, boring passages? Would you vote for it in its current state? Talk Mattsnow 14:58, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
I'll look through it tomorrow, must go now, but the title seems very long for what could just be "snowboarding". I don't think there is one, and if there is, no one will miss it. I think your article could do with a one or two line joke at the start to pull the reader in more. The first thing a person must do is giggle at a joke or the title for an article to take their shot attention. The first paragraph you have can be the initial section just fine, it builds up to something. And totally avoid "what the cool kids do etc." your narrator should either be awesome or think himself to be awesome even if he is a loser, everyone likes going 'fuck yeah' with the narrator because we are escapists. That said there was a load of good stuff in my quick scan of the thing. Nikau 15:15, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
Great! And also, if you could spell check it while you're reading it, that would just be awesome! And your Indiana Jones article was great, I lolled. Talk Mattsnow 18:00, October 21, 2011 (UTC)
I don't know if you subscibed to the Unsignpost, but I wrote a snippet for the next one and you are in it! :) It should come out on Thursday. Talk Mattsnow 17:39, October 24, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry about not giving more feedback about your snowboarding thing, I enjoyed all of it -gargantuan plane crash hehe- but I can't help feeling the narrative voice could do with a bit more character. I suggest reading either the Cracked columnists - - or hyperbole and a half (if you ignore the piles of pictures) because both are exceedingly popular and quite good examples of interesting narrative voice.--Nikau 01:34, October 25, 2011 (UTC)
Will do, Nikau, thanks for the help! Don't forget to read the Unsignpost on Thursday! :D Talk Mattsnow 11:52, October 25, 2011 (UTC)


Thanks for the review of my masterpiece Poop throwing monkeys. The monkeys approve, and have sent me here to give you many gifts. I made the guy an antropologist when the article was first nommed for VFH (and you can nom it again if you'd like) and somebody mentioned that it wasn't antropological enough or some such thing. Well, thanks again, and I will continue to improve the page. I am but a humble servant of the poop throwing monkeys, Aleister 19:06 21-10-'11


I love it! I corrected a small mistake (or maybe "role model" can be spelled both ways, I don't know) I lolled numerous times. And it is better in only one section. Want me to put it back on VFH? It would be my pleasure. I think they lifted the "martial law" thing. Talk Mattsnow 16:16, October 31, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, if you feel it is ready. --Nikau 00:04, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
I think so. But sometimes, the crowd is moody. Let's see. Talk Mattsnow 00:17, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
Seems to work LOL. Do you know Ron Paul? I just wrote an UnNews about him, what do you think? LOL at the whoring ping-pong game. Talk Mattsnow 01:18, November 1, 2011 (UTC)

Pass the gravy boat and the green piped potatoes, would you , Love?[edit]

Thank you for your vote on Fanny Cradock! Hugs! Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:33, November 4, 2011 (UTC)

I read your article[edit]

Hahaha!!! Man this is great! I am not a fan of motorsports at all and I loved it! Is it true that so many people died in a year? It's also great because it shows that a lot of the things in the article are true, like the German car and such. I'll nom it for VFH when you tell me you want to, it's just hilarious! Talk Mattsnow 01:46, November 9, 2011 (UTC)

Well, actually the drivers died in accidents over about 10 years, but it is pretty scary statistic - that a driver who drove a race that year truly had a near 1/4 chance of dying in a crash during their career. --Nikau 01:51, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
After those years, they decided to add the brakes! LOL Talk Mattsnow 02:21, November 9, 2011 (UTC)
I think it is complete now with links to almost all Hyperbole's articles. VFH it if you like. --Nikau 04:24, November 9, 2011 (UTC)


When I showed my recently featured article to my good friend Vasco da Gama, he had this to say:

Thanks for your vote, though. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 11:45, 9 November 2011

Pole position!!![edit]

Hey, your article has one hell of a great start on VFH, I was pretty sure it would, it really is great! I am very glad you came out of retirement, not only are you a very good and prolific writer, you're quite cool! I have an article I am stuck with for an ending: User:Mattsnow/Mount Everest Disaster When you have the time (I'm not in a hurry at all) could you read it and suggest an ending? And how is it overall? Thanks and when you want me to give you my mind on your article (so far it's always been: "VFH material" lol don't hesitate. It's great not to have to wait 1 month for a Pee Review to come by, and also we don't clog Pee Review uselessly. Talk Mattsnow 03:58, November 10, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I like what you have so far. I'll go through it section by section and post my changes in the talk page, ok? --Nikau 04:12, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
Awesome! Also, if you see a prose fuck up, don't be the least shy about correcting it. I like to blame my prose clumsiness on my French origins. Talk Mattsnow 04:23, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
My computer reset when I was half way through a word document of changes, so I lost a nice intro that added to the article. I'll try edit again. --Nikau 00:09, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah yeah yeah lol Talk Mattsnow 00:13, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
Don't tweak it that much please, in all honesty, I may revert the changes my friend. Sorry. Talk Mattsnow 01:10, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
Ha, lol. Do what you like, it is your article. --Nikau 01:24, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
Don't worry about it, but I disagree with some of your adds and will revert (I guess we are honest with each other) And if some people around here don't feel we are whoring too much, so be it. I have articles that were not featured I am more proud than others. I just wanted an ending suggestion. I understand your eagerness to help though. We should start an article where we collab, I'd be happy to, but I have worked so much on the Everest article that I will accept a little review a little correction of prose, but not a whole change in concept or in what I "worked" to write. I hope you understand man. BTW, I am fucking drunk! Talk Mattsnow 02:50, November 11, 2011 (UTC)
I just read your additions without the beer glasses and they are very good, thank you very much! If you have a suggestion for an ending or anything, please tell! :D Talk Mattsnow 21:07, November 12, 2011 (UTC)

A non university level template[edit]

Hutch Nuclear Dinner Laptop Skin-Wrappz.jpg
Thanks For Your Purchase!
The NAARAHYNWOMDTCRDP appreciates your patronage because it prevents us from having to get real jobs and we can continue to provide
you with compelling yet useless publications which exploit your fear of embarrassment and nuclear holocausts. Here's an oddly designed abomination of a template for your talk page as a special gift which acknowledges your stupidity for everyone on Uncyclopedia to see!

Thanks for the vote on Tsar Bomba! Best of luck on WOTM. I fear that Flamingo person may win this time but your day will not be far behind IMO.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  18:15, November 14, 2011 (UTC)

There is a cyborg writing machine and its name is Nikau[edit]

Not contempt on making the community laugh their asses off with very clever and funny articles in a timespan that raises questions about the bloke's IQ (which may be well over 9000) it seems our great friend Nikau has undertaken another project and is amazingly on the verge of finishing it.

Mattsnow, Australia (yes, I am so clever I figured out where you live :D) Talk Mattsnow 05:04, November 17, 2011 (UTC)

Awww, thanks for the praise. --Nikau 01:26, November 18, 2011 (UTC)
What do you think about Don King ? It's on VFH and you can vote or not, I'd rather have an honest vote to improve it for next round than a crooked for. Is it worthy? Talk Mattsnow 02:50, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
I'm thinking for an article something about the Mexican drug war. I will start that article, for sure Talk Mattsnow 08:45, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
Much love. Talk Mattsnow 08:48, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
I am sorry, LOL Talk Mattsnow 08:58, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
Sober edit: I was nonsensical! Talk Mattsnow 19:55, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
I enjoy being loved though *hugs Mattsnow* --Nikau 07:53, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

1969 24 Hours of Le Mans[edit]

That is one excellent article my friend, I never thought an article about car racing would make me laugh so much; just got around to reading it now. I've also only just cast my vote for Lyrithya in WotM, but next month it's you for sure. --Black Flamingo 15:12, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

Australian electoral system[edit]

Sorry for being so late! I read it and I think the prose is great, but I guess I am trying too much to understand your election system here, because I was very confused at what the article was trying to express. I like the pics though, but I think it could be great to try to simplify a bit there. When you are talking about the 600K people of Tasmania and the 7 million of Queensland having the same weight, that hits the reader, very easy to understand, but there are some instances where the "explanations" are too complicated. Maybe a bit long too. I hope this little review helps! It seems to be one hell of a weird system to say the least! Talk Mattsnow 01:00, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

I hope you don't perceive my review to be discouraging lol, and I have so much unfinished stuff and another collab going on that I don't see how I could make time for another collab, but we sure will collab soon, that's cool my friend? Talk Mattsnow 04:30, November 24, 2011 (UTC)
NEW HERE!!!! Hey Nikau, good to see you're back, I thought you commited suicide for a little while there after your experiment with Khmer Rouge lol. I myself have made some articles about disasters, but this one must have been very hard to try to make funny. I think I remember Pol Pot killed a million people or something. Any new articles brewing? I was wondering how our styles would mesh for a collab. I think there's a good chance it would mesh good. Are you interested? Talk Mattsnow 03:40, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry Matt, but my writing is on hold because soon I will be holidaying in Cambodia. I just felt that it may be interesting to do something before. I'm up for a collab when I return. Nikau 08:23, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
The Dead Kennedys...--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:27, December 14, 2011 (UTC)
Hope it's better than that. Laos is about the most interesting place I've been, and everyone who has been says Cambodia is better. Plus Laos still has the communists in charge. Nikau 08:48, December 14, 2011 (UTC)

Extraterrestrial life[edit]

This line looks a bit orphaned on the page: Giordano died while trying to make small talk over a barbecue. Perhaps combine it with the one above or throw in an extra line that it was a barbecue made from his own flesh. I have read this a few times, it does seem to roam around a bit in my view so I am inclined to abstain. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:52, December 2, 2011 (UTC)

I think I just might love you![edit]

I just now sat down to the computer and saw that lovely comment on the Oprah Winfrey articles VFD vote. We haven't me formally, but I think that I adore you for that comment. Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:02, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Awww. Thank you. All the good writers on the site deserve praise for fighting the mediocrity that often clogs the place. And you are one of the best we have. --Nikau 04:39, December 16, 2011 (UTC)


Mamma mia! You voted for Italy on VFH and it was featured!

Thanka youa! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 12:38, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

You are teh winnar![edit]

Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month December 2011

--ChiefjusticePS2 10:00, January 1, 2012 (UTC)


I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 18:57, 6 January 2012

Who is this Lyrithya, and where are these parasites spoken of? Hello. I left you a note on the bipolar girl nom page. There is a thing about cute or beautiful bipolar women that is very fun, but you have to put up with the madness. One in particular I knew some years ago was my favorite person to get high with (she's referred to in the page in quite a few places), what she'd do is start describing something and after literally four or five minutes in all began to make a pattern, a massive pattern, which was always amazing. Almost nobody else liked her, she had like three friends who could stand her, but those of us who did were so very lucky to hang out with this genius (she's my favorite living artist, if you imagine something while looking at her paintings you can find it in there. I asked a friend to just name something, and he said a basketball game, and I not only showed him the game in the painting but the stands and the crowd watching it!). Aleister 12:42 Russian Christmas '12
I understand what the bipolar girl is, however I think the article is in need of a no fuss introductory line with s one liner that says THIS IS BIPOLAR GIRL in place of the flashies. Other than that, the thing is funny, however it remains just slightly difficult to read through. I feel it needs more space to let the jokes sink in. -Nikau 12:54, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Beautiful story by the way. It makes me sad because I do find it easy to make friends but I always have to move away. Returning and the joy it brings are the payoff. I don't know if any of them are so artistic though. --Nikau 13:01, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
Thanks. She was and still is amazing (I presume, she moved far off and we lost touch with each other, easy to do with Bipolar Girl). The flashing thingy moved away too, to the talk page. I tried to talk it into coming back into the article, but it just wanted chocolates. Hmmmm, I'll check the page and see if there's a better way to define Bipolar Girl in the lede. Maybe I was rambling there too. Going there now, bringing chocolates. Aleister 13:06 Red xmas '12
Thank you! I went to the page and this immediately came as the first line: Bipolar Girl defines the inner energy and drive of a really creative bipolar woman who has no one to blame but herself, and never does.
That tops it off very well, at least in my perception of the page, and thanks to you. Adequate? I'm happy now, and must dance shortly. Aleister minutes later
And thanks for your vote and kind words. Appreciated. I don't know if you saw it, but I wrote up an UnNews page to augment the article and to provide a link for see also. Fun days. Aleister 1:14 12-1-'12


ArticleWhisperAwardSilver.png Article Whisperer Runner-Up Winner
This person won second place in the 2nd The Article Whisperer Competition (2011). They did not win but they wrote the article: Somalia
Thanks for making this year's competition a success! (Your set of steak knives is in the mail..)

UnBooks:My Tedious Day[edit]

A user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Then, another user read my article, went to VFH, and voted. Next, a different read my article, went to VFH, and voted. By now, the article was featured.

Thank you for voting for UnBooks:My Tedious Day on VFH! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:10, January 13, 2012 (UTC)

Night of the long knives[edit]

At first, I thought you were referring to the one in Canadian history, though I dunno if it's the right translation. Anyway, I just finished writing one (like the only article I wrote in a month) Steve Irwin. One of your compatriots if I'm right! Waddya think about it? How was your stay in Cambodia? Killed any Khmer Rouge? Talk Mattsnow 03:43, January 24, 2012 (UTC)

Everyone has to do a Nazi article one day. Might as well get it done now. Cambodia is incredible once you leave Phnom Penh, if the city was anything like that 40 years ago I can see why Pol Pot felt genocidal. Yes there is a range of restaurants for both hipster and redneck tourists, from wank coffee shops of the type you find in the upper class suburbs here (foreign owned, charging $5 for a coffee in a place where 40% of the people are living on less than $1 a day. Ho hum,) to not quite legal stripper bars where the average age of the dancers was like one sixth that of the clientele. The police are the biggest dicks I have ever encountered anywhere, and do threaten tourists for bribes when not sitting around drunk outside said strip clubs.
Once you hop on the first bus out of Phnom Penh everything is just unimaginably beautiful, run down Frenchcolonial town centers surrounded by small farms that run the length of the many rivers. And no fucking police. --Nikau 12:43, January 24, 2012 (UTC)
Seems awesome. Stereotypes are bitches. Have fun! Talk Mattsnow 06:59, January 27, 2012 (UTC)

 :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)[edit]


CLICK HERE--ShabiDOO 10:04, January 24, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you like a duck[edit]

Thank you for voting for my narcissism page. You made my day, seriously, as so many people are voting on other pages and not stopping by on this one. I think it's one of my better polished things, and worked out well in everything that there is to say about it. In fact, I put it on my screen, hold the monitor up to a mirror, and look at it so I can see the article and me at the same time. Thanks again! Aleister 10:39 30-1-'12

And for the vote on Bevel. You made my day again, seriously. The incest is creepy, and flocks up his history somewhat, but he denied it happened (I deny all my incest too, although I tell my little brother to keep his mouth shut or I'll stuff something in there) and did a Gandhi-like almost-no-defense defense. Thanks once again!! Aleister 14:09 30-1-'12
Glad you're back! I thought you had been boiled by Natives! Talk Mattsnow 14:04, April 12, 2012 (UTC)
I'm just splooging up a wall again. Nothing to see here he he he. --Nikau (talk) 03:10, April 14, 2012 (UTC)

Eh, Mister 82[edit]

I guess that proves that I will defend your articles from foreign intervention WITH MY LIFE if necessary!! :P Talk Mattsnow 01:10, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

I would like to bring your attention to this forum[edit]

Forum:Vote to De-Op Lyrithya Nominally Humane! 03:20 07 May

Your Afghan article[edit]

I don't know why it didn't show up on the new UnNews list in the Current Events section. Odd. I wrote Matt about it. I have to read it again, or a couple of times, as on first read I missed a lot of what you are saying yet it seems to be very good and worthy of reading several times to get the nuances you put into it. My time is limited now, but if Matt isn't around I'll put it on the UnNews column on the main page. Likely a feature but I'm not sure yet, which is why I'm not nomming it, but as I said, it seems a step above most writing here and I have to wrap my head(s) around it. Thanks. Aleister 12:18 22-5-'12

lol because it is about 10 months old, I just retooled it for the NATO summit. --Nikau (talk) 12:20, May 22, 2012 (UTC)
Oh, no wonder, you changed the date! I added it to the top of the main page UnNews list just now. Maybe Matt can bring it up to the new date, I don't know how (I had the same thing happen recently when I did an UnNews rewrite, and it wouldn't take the new date). I'm fighting in Afghan right now by the way, and walking in these minefields is really a bitc

Forty-two edits today?[edit]

Do you suppose you could use the Preview button to view how your changes will look, rather than so often Save as a new edition? This will make the change history easier, if someone needs to find something specific, and also will reduce the number of times that the Patroller has to verify that you're not one of our esteemed vandals. Thanks. Spıke ¬ 15:55 18-Jun-12

I am a vandal. I ruin nice, white pages with stupid words. I have the trophy to prove it. Nikau (talk) 00:59, June 19, 2012 (UTC)

Well then! Carry on. Spıke ¬ 01:01 19-Jun-12

Kerala on VFH[edit]

Which parts do you believe are "rather like vandalism"? Spıke ¬ 17:09 21-Jun-12

The Saddam Hussein part in the introduction, although it was probably not the intent, is very out of place. Also the tone, which for the most part is deliciously irreverent, gets a bit nasty in places. Nikau (talk) 19:30, June 21, 2012 (UTC)

On the first, reality unfortunately intruded on humor in the prior version. And I'll scan for the second tonight from the ballpark. Thanks. Spıke ¬ 19:54 21-Jun-12

Your PLS article(s) have been judged and unprotected[edit]

Congratulations, participant! Mainspace 'em at your own leisure. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 23:47, July 2, 2012 (UTC)

Your Breaking Bad VFP nom[edit]

Just curious, did you come up with the little "In theoretical trouble? Call Al!" ad on your own? -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN03:56, 12 Sep

Yes. T'was annoying to edit. --Nikau (talk) 11:48, November 28, 2012 (UTC)

Sneaky bugga[edit]

Yeah, I saw you. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Dec 25 '12 12:39 (UTC)

Welcome back. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Mar 7 '13 2:05 (UTC)
Hiya. I shall now try and write something when I get an idea. No more content warning to piss me off. --Nikau (talk) 13:04, 13 March 2013 (UTC)

In case you're still alive...[edit]

Please come back to Uncyclopedia soon or we are coming after you for child support. --EMC [TALK] 17:00 Jun 7 2014

A letter about Megan Fox[edit]

Hi Nikau! On your vote on VFH: could you, please, tell me if you have any suggestions for improving this article? This would be very helpful of you.

On another note, I saw your note in the PLS forum on the other site and it will be a pleasure for me to judge your work! Anton (talk) 17:20, 16 September 2014 (UTC)

I'm sorry about it, but I just didn't find too many jokes. If you read something like UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex it uses the straight and jokeless delivery to build up to one big reversal, which is hilarious. I think your article could do with something similar. --Nikau (talk) 01:20, 17 September 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for the T-Rex link! I respectfully disagree with "jokeless delivery," however. That article is extremely funny from the beginning to the end, and I loved how fluent the tone is, without any outstanding punchlines, yet, almost every sentence being funny on its own.
Oh, and thanks for the comment! I'll re-read my letter and see what I can do. Anton (talk) 20:22, 17 September 2014 (UTC)

My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection[edit]

You voted for My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection on VFH and it was featured so I guess I can give you one of my cards. Put it in a safe place. It's in mint condition.


Thanks for your vote! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:23, 21 September 2014 (UTC)


hi nikau. concerning firesheep, i think the difference is consistency. the red-to-yellow text and flaming .gif clash with the 'treating something silly as serious' tone of the article (which is great). Suddenly, Raccoons (one of my favorite articles) uses that silliness to rapidly shift from straight delivery to absurdity, and that contrast is great. i think in firesheep the straight-man tone is enough to stand alone, and doesn't need the colored text or moving images. but...that's just, opinion, man. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 22:42, 21 September 2014 (UTC)

Lazy sod[edit]


This is for classifying the featured articles. As if that will help anyone. Way to waste your own time. --ShabiDOO 00:41, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Hi Nikau[edit]

I'm seconding Shabidoo up there, thanks for that categorizing and all that, but you seem to have added 5 nonexistant categories to 5 pages. I already took the action to undo those categories (they were red links which means that they didn't exist). Not sure if you noticed that, might have been a mistake or such but just explaining what I just did if you're wondering. Thanks for doing that tho! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 17:38, 23 September, 2014 (UTC)

I thought it was a good idea to add the in-joke category. Maybe it just needs to be created? --4444
There is a category for injokes already, not sure why a FA-injoke-category should be created for that. If somebody wants to use it for something I guess the person is more than welcome to create one. 7:41 13

Hi again Nikau[edit]

Care to tell me what this was about? How exactly it is plagiarism? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 08:03, 25 September, 2014 (UTC)

It lifts sections straight from the book Phaic Tan. User:Moneke has a history of it, as seen here. --Nikau (talk) 08:07, 25 September 2014 (UTC)
Hmmm... well that's interesting. Told about this to the higher auctorities and this should be viewed upon by tomorrow. Hope so. Weird that a featured article was all copy-pasted :o good catch tho Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Zzz...morning? 08:17, 25 September, 2014 (UTC)
Well, it wasn't all copy pasted, the Guyana one has had all the offending parts removed and is still somewhat large. --Nikau (talk) 08:18, 25 September 2014 (UTC)

Why don't you celebrate your return to the site...[edit]

Dance the mash bro! participating in an informal competition. Last Year's was a lot of fun. --ShabiDOO 02:59, 29 September 2014 (UTC)

Hey. Extending the competition by three days (giving you over three and a half days to get an article ready). :) --ShabiDOO 08:01, 8 October 2014 (UTC)


I don't care anymore, it's not even my original idea anymore. It's not so much I'm angry I'm just upset you took the funky text out as it was original for the article and it kinda makes it ordinary now.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 21:36 9.29.14

Fine, we can put the text back in again.--Nikau (talk) 00:21, 30 September 2014 (UTC)

User:Nikau/Electoral system of Australia[edit]

Why'd you move it out of mainspace? I thought it was good. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:38, 4 October 2014 (UTC)

I'm being paid (a little) to write an article about Aussie law for a student magazine and, being lazy, I might pull jokes out of that article. It was never featured so I can't see the harm in stealing my own jokes if needed. --Nikau (talk) 17:51, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
Makes sense. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:21, 4 October 2014 (UTC)


Where do you get it from? Mine has died :( I am no longer finding myself funny :( Talk Mattsnow 13:10, 12 October 2014 (UTC)

Doping in sports and other great articles like that. Just find an idea and write down the funny lines that come in my head about it and type them out when I have the time. --Nikau (talk) 14:21, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
Sometimes I'm just discouraged by the simplest negative comment. Not yours of course :) Talk Mattsnow 17:10, 12 October 2014 (UTC)
It's best to remember casual readers will read like 10% of an article, which usually means pictures/captions and the intro. If they like that, they'll read the rest. If they don't, they'll whine about something they didn't like. If they don't get the concept they'll try to convert others into feeling the same. Woody is a pretty good contributor, so I think he read it all and is probably saying "flesh the idea out more" because I do think you have room to add to the length and add some more pictures without the concept going stale. --Nikau (talk) 05:22, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
Matt you are one of the best writers around. Don't worry about negative comments. If they are constructive and you agree then your article will improve. If it's useless criticism then brush it off (that's what I usually did every time SPIKE would trash my writing...I brushed off his hating and moved on. If it's a matter of taste...then you realise that you can't please everyone and stick to your own voice and your own audience. It's easier said than done...but from what you've written and the amount of articles have no reason to worry about criticism! --ShabiDOO 15:54, 13 October 2014 (UTC)
Thamks I had a prima dona moment :P Talk Mattsnow 16:44, 13 October 2014 (UTC)


I noticed you asked for Thailand and Brazil to be moved to your userspace, but it hadn't been done yet due to a bug (or just the server acting like a diva), so I did it for you. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Oct 17 '14 14:36 (UTC)

Hello Nikau![edit]

I have read your message. Thanks for the compliment! Have a nice day! --Care for a rose? the dorky contralto Proudly Mexican Did I mention I'm like 1/8 or 1/16 Korean? It's a long story. Brazil is very fascinating... 02:26, 18 October 2014 (UTC)

Also, you are a genius! Thanks for helping with the Eduard Khil article! --Care for a rose? the dorky contralto Proudly Mexican Did I mention I'm like 1/8 or 1/16 Korean? It's a long story. Brazil is very fascinating... 14:22, 18 October 2014 (UTC)

I'm going to VFH it when there's a few less articles on the VFH page. I loved it. Very pleasing and well written. I only cleaned the edges a tiny bit. --Nikau (talk) 14:24, 18 October 2014 (UTC)


Maybe we should start writing our recent Imperial Colonization article.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 17:19 10.19.14

I've also removed the in-jokes from The Eventual End of Uncyclopedia.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 10:30 10.20.14
I've never liked "injoke" articles about Uncyclopedia itself. Nothing personal I just don't like them on the main page. I voted for Halloween though. --Nikau (talk) 10:55, 20 October 2014 (UTC)
Okay, I see. And thanks.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:27 10.20.14

Solar flares[edit]

You helped to get solar flares featured. As a reward, here's a dope picture of a solar flare. You can totally make it your desktop background or something.

Magnificent CME Erupts on the Sun - August 31.jpg

Thanks for your vote! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:04, 23 October 2014 (UTC)


I left a message on Zombiebaron's talkpage asking him to explain his against votes, if you are interested :P Talk Mattsnow 17:11, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Thanks. I've been writing stuff so quickly I'd prefer some constructive criticism rather than a "lol, no" --Nikau (talk) 06:24, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
I liked your articles, Nikau! And several things: it's extremely annoying when someone votes against your article and you can do nothing about it, so I rewrote Megan Fox again (kind of)! Would be you so kind as to read it again? I know how much time you already spent reading and commenting on this article, but this my last try!
Oh, and another thing: on your userpage on the other Uncy, you are mentioning tour Ebola article, but it actually exosts only on this site. Are you going to share it there as well? It would be great if you did! Anton (talk) 16:08, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
The other Uncyclopedia has a (possibly better) ebola. Mine is already getting dated and needs more entries, as was the plan originally but my photoshop is playing up. I'd actually be more inclined to vote for your Brittany, but the improvements to your letter article are quite nice so I wouldn't mind voting for that either now. I'd give it a few more pictures just to break the text up though. My article Samsung is facing the same struggles as yours did, so I ain't any more special than anyone else.--Nikau (talk) 16:25, 24 October 2014 (UTC)
Ok, thanks! I'll search for more images. Anton (talk) 10:18, 25 October 2014 (UTC)


Mainspace this shit so I can nominate it for VFH. It's hilarious. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:59, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the sentiment. But it kind of needs work around the women section still. That bit is 75% tenuously linked filler. --Nikau (talk) 10:12, 25 October 2014 (UTC)
Oh, yeah, concerning Jizzlam, I posted something on your page on the second uncy, but I am not sure you saw it. Anton (talk) 10:17, 25 October 2014 (UTC)


Would you consider switching your against vote on Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnBooks:Mr. Happy's Bible Primer to for in order to give it the last little security vote it needs to be featured? I know it doesn't stand out to you at first, but I feel the use of satire in it at least deserves consideration. If intended or not by the author originally. Thank you in advance.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 22:55 10.29.14

I'm going to sound like an asshole but... to me it was hard to follow and felt very similar to The Incredible Adventures of MS PAINTMAN! only with more religion. I don't like keeping work with a lot of effort off the front page, but this one had a fairly under-developed idea that has been done before (the Bible has been parodied here dozens of times). It's a fine QFA in my opinion. --Nikau (talk) 03:05, 30 October 2014 (UTC)
I never read that one.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 19:08 10.30.14

Hey[edit]'re it! --ShabiDOO 15:23, 30 October 2014 (UTC)

No tag backs? --Nikau (talk) 15:43, 30 October 2014 (UTC)
Too late. --ShabiDOO

Very, very well done[edit]

For being as funny as Nikau (which is a compliment) and as productive as a robot, the Uncyclopedia Award Committee, represented by myself, decided to award you this:

Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month October 2014

Have fun figuring out where to put this trophy! Seriously, nice work! Anton (talk) 13:16, 1 November 2014 (UTC)

User:Mattsnow/World War II[edit]

Now this is a big project, if you ever have inspiration for it go ahead, it could be a collab. Talk Mattsnow 11:23, 4 November 2014 (UTC)

I thought about writing the pacific theater part. I'll do so when I have the inspiration. --Nikau (talk) 11:49, 4 November 2014 (UTC)
Great ending to Nirvana :) Thanks Talk Mattsnow 12:57, 4 November 2014 (UTC)
I swear if someone deletes the Captain Crunch and gay ancestor Frosty joke I will throw a coup de tat.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 00:54 11.05.14


Hi! I saw your votes at Hey Jude and the Last Page. I wouldn't have made those nominations right now, and I knew they would probably fail when I made them, but I still feel I owe you an explanation. I don't want to persuade you about anything, just share several thoughts I had on this topic. The main problem with the Hey Jude is the main lyrics, apart from that it's pretty good, in my opinion. I might re-rewrite it or I might not. Time will show.

Concerning Last Page, it's more complicated. It's a clever piece. The intro says that, hey, you just reached the end of Uncyclopedia, its last page, you've read every single article that preceded it and now there's nothing to read. Now, let's take a look at what you wasted your time on. It's a pretty detailed and careful analysis of Uncyclopedia, but not only. It strikes at first as something unoriginal, but if you take a closer look several images are almost VFP quality and the comments (not all, but most) are original and funny. What strikes me the most is what a disillusioned perspective the page takes. It makes fun of itself and its own use of in-jokes at the same time it makes fun of Uncyclopedia and you, the reader. An infinite loop. A constant WP:Mise en abîme. A page that can strike you as being silly, while in reality it denounces the silliness. It's funny. And I just felt like sharing this picture with you. Please, be free to do whatever you wish to do with it! Anton (talk) 19:51, 4 November 2014 (UTC)

Would you happen to know how to fix the math coding on this?[edit]

I can't find out why it won't parse or whatever correctly. Thanks in advance. User:Sir Peasewhizz/Nightcore.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 03:11 11.05.14

I'd take it to BB or one of the dudes on IRC. I think Turing Duck Test uses a formula, so maybe copy/paste that and change it to your needs, if all else fails. --Nikau (talk) 11:19, 5 November 2014 (UTC)
Okee dokee. Thanks.  Kamek siggy.png ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 21:49 11.05.14

I refer you to Xamralco's talkpage[edit]

For 2 questions: have you ever played the Last of Us? And do you think the 2 lesbians look rather underage? Ĩ think another pic may be more appropriate, is it just me or do they look like 13? :D Talk Mattsnow 03:39, 12 November 2014 (UTC)

1) No, actually. I don't have a console post-PS2 (PC gaming master race ra ra). 2) If the girls are on the front page of google they ain't under 18 :P --Nikau (talk) 03:46, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
Changed the girls anyway. --Nikau (talk) 03:50, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
Hahaha Google... The workplace of pedophiles! Just kidding, thank you for the vote on Nirvana, I really look forward to writing one with you. I'm unfortunately stuck with trying to do justice to the Last of Us. Talk Mattsnow 03:55, 12 November 2014 (UTC) PS Nice change, sorry if I sounded like a purist.
Any ideas about topics we could collab on? I like to work on 2 articles at a time but I work slowly :) Talk Mattsnow 03:57, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
Oh My!!! The new version is awesome :D Talk Mattsnow 04:03, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
Collab? In order of how much I like the ideas... User:Nikau/Inconvenience store (about annoying things when you go shopping), User:Nikau/Meat (I don't know where to take this one) Been written anyway, User:Nikau/Poop throwing monkeys (a serious article about the injoke, already has an intro) User:Nikau/Hypercompact stellar system (about a really tiny miniature solar system; like think as though the human is god to the tiny guys on the tiny planet... Futurama did it before though). --Nikau (talk) 04:16, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
There's also User:Nikau/Thailand, which will be a huge effort. --Nikau (talk) 04:24, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
I've started User:Nikau/Inconvenience store, feel free to huff everything if it's not the angle you were having in mind. Talk Mattsnow 05:47, 13 November 2014 (UTC)
That's good work. I don't care much about what gets changed on my parts, I frequently trash my own jokes and move them to new articles. I was thinking about describing all the annoying things about shopping, just so we're on the same page. I'm preoccupied with writing Thailand right now, but I guess we can add to it for weeks like you and Xam did with Nirvana. --Nikau (talk) 06:05, 13 November 2014 (UTC)
Yep, no stress AT ALL :P Talk Mattsnow 06:08, 13 November 2014 (UTC)


To answer your post on the other uncy, I'm fine with Thailand, but I see you already rewrote most of it. Do you still need help? Anton (talk) 13:20, 15 November 2014 (UTC)

Thank you, but not with Thailand. I want to get the most linked red link articles rewritten, so choose one and we'll try and get it done one day soon. I have about 20 half written article so just sitting there in user space. --Nikau (talk) 14:16, 15 November 2014 (UTC)
Do you need any help with any article in your userspace? If not, maybe Joan of Arc? Anton (talk) 21:12, 15 November 2014 (UTC)
Good choice. I was eying that one. Now we need to think of an angle. --Nikau (talk) 01:26, 16 November 2014 (UTC)
Joan of Arc was not actually a woman inspired by the love of God but was in fact a grilled cheese sandwhich that got a little too burnt. --ShabiDOO 07:39, 16 November 2014 (UTC)
Shab, you want to participate? Anton (talk) 14:11, 16 November 2014 (UTC)
I'll post my comments here. Anton (talk) 06:46, 18 November 2014 (UTC)


I saw you joined, how come you didn't speak lol Talk Mattsnow 07:10, 22 November 2014 (UTC)

I was busy lol. I thought not talking was the traditional thing to do on IRC? --Nikau (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)
I sure can't wait to read Thailand! Relentless worker you :P Talk Mattsnow 06:49, 26 November 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! --Nikau (talk) 06:50, 26 November 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for the nice edits[edit]

But please don't change the text too much except for grammar if you feel like it, I really want to tweak it by myself :). I know you mean well. Talk Mattsnow 16:19, 29 November 2014 (UTC)

Some guy[edit]

i see you like my work. Would you like to help me? By that I mean can you format. I'm willing to learn. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Some guy (talk • contribs)

Sure ok! --Nikau (talk) 01:31, 5 December 2014 (UTC)

islamic state at christmas[edit]

Vocals are trickling in (from all over the world) but the more the merrier. Would you be willing/able? Leverage (talk) 21:40, 8 December 2014 (UTC)

I can't sing though. --Nikau (talk) 06:31, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

It hasn't stopped anyone so far! Or if you want to do a less melodic bit, maybe the here's to you stuff and the big sing along at the end? Leverage (talk) 07:31, 11 December 2014 (UTC)

Bob Marley[edit]

Since you wrote such a fantastic reggae article, would it be possible for you to do a hatchet job on the Bob Marley article? Expand it, add some humor, etc.?--EpicWinner (talk) 06:28, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

I think it can be rolled into one article TBH. --Nikau (talk) 03:04, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Judgery and stuff[edit]

Hi...I can't get anyone to be the third judge. My friend Sarah (who often helps me judge the happy monkey competition) has offered to help. I could put a copy of the four articles in my user space and then have her review them all anonymously (she'd have no idea who wrote what) and then add her results to the tally. If you are okay with that...great...she can do it this weekend. If not...please find someone who will judge the bad taste category. Chars ShabiDOO 01:58, 2 January 2016 (UTC)

Remember when people used to be active at least once a year?[edit]

Kevin Spacey and Brad Pit in the same movie lol

Super awesome happy "Seven deadly sins" competition where Shabidoo will win and everyone else colapses into suicidal depression fun week!!! SIGN UP!!! ShabiDOO 14:24, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Happy Monkey Competition 2021[edit]


Hey its HAPPY MONKEY TIME 2021 (Feb 21-28). Your favourite writing competition where we write articles on one another's suggested topics. Go ahead and sign up because the more users we have competiting the more ridonculously fun it is. If you don't wanna write you can sign up to judge! Sing up here. Remember it's not about writing a sure fire VFH article, but pushing the limits of your originality and creativity and spitting out an article on a topic you had never thought about writing before. Also...Shabidoo will love you forever and owe you like a zillion favours for it. He will literally do anything to please you if it means you participate. Happy Monkey Farts!!! ShabiDOO 15:52, 10 February 2021 (UTC)