User:Guildensternenstein
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'2009 Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League Champion!'
'The 2010 San Diego Chargers Underachievement Award'
'The 2011 San Diego Chargers Underachievement Award'
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Noob of the Moment February 2009 |
This user has fixed that damn leaky muffler on the Uncyclopedia Pinto by doing more rewrites than any other user during Conservation Week
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We don't have money, so we just gave them the Greasy Mechanic Award for their help. Get your own next time around and help fix up Uncyclopedia.
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Writer of the Month April 2009 |
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UnBooks Author of the Month May 2009 |
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Reviewer of the Month October 2009 |
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Uncyclopedian of the Month April 2010 |
This user is the
February 2011
Playwright of the Month
 Grand Cross of the Order |
Golden Urinal
| [[File:{{{image}}}|link={{{link}}}]] P.E.E.I.N.G. |
| UNFÜHRER |
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| of Der Unwehr |
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Der Unwehr Kross Glückwünsche! You have received this illustrious medal for your amazing contributions to Der Unwehr . Heil! |
This user was the 2009 UFFL Champ.
Incidentally, he/she is a bit ashamed.
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Article Whisperer Participant |
| This person participated in The Article Whisperer Competition (2011). They did not win but they wrote the article: User:Guildensternenstein/Buffalo, New York Thanks for making this year's competition a success! (Now, if you'll excuse me, I think there's someone at my door…) | |
This user underachieved the entire 2010 season.
Come playoff time, he/she underachieved the most when it counted.
Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: UnScripts:Law & Order: Puritan New England
This user underachieved the entire 2010 season.
Come playoff time, he/she underachieved the most when it counted.
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This person contributed credible material to an article which went on to become one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. |
Hi. I am Guildensternenstein, which is a combination of the nonsensical names 'Guildenstern' and 'Sternenstein'. So yeah. That's basically it.
Articles I have written[edit | edit source]
Bold = Personal Favorite
Metal Gear[edit | edit source]
- Metal Gear Solid (featured, and the third best article of February 2009!)
- Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (featured, and the third best article of March 2009!)
- Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (featured!)
D&D:IRL[edit | edit source]
- Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition (featured!)
Filmmakers[edit | edit source]
- David Lynch (rewrite; a semi-collaboration with TPLN; featured!)
- Ingmar Bergman((somewhat premature) rewrite for Conservation Week; featured!)
- Andrei Tarkovsky (featured!)
- Akira Kurosawa (rewrite; featured!)
- Sergio Leone (featured, and the third best article of August 2009!)
- Quentin Tarantino (rewrite, featured!)
Sports[edit | edit source]
- Tom Brady (my first article (it sucked); rewrote it)
- Peyton Manning (rewrite; featured!)
- Indianapolis Colts (rewrite)
Bands[edit | edit source]
- The Mars Volta (deleted TPLN's article to write this one, my bad)
- Mastodon (rewrite, featured!)
- Opeth (rewrite, featured!)
Politics, Religion, History, etc.[edit | edit source]
- Pre-Presidential Accomplishments of Barack Obama (sucks)
- Pious Christians Against Shellfish (featured!)
- George W. Bush's Hurricane Machine
- Barack Obama's Teleprompter (featured, and the second best article of September 2009!)
- Ku Klux Klan (rewrite)
- John Milton (rewrite, featured!)
- Red Sea (featured!)
- Russo-Japanese War (rewrite, featured!)
- Sans-culottes (featured!)
Actors[edit | edit source]
- Godzilla (rewrite; featured!)
- Will Smith (rewrite; featured!)
Other[edit | edit source]
- Gravity's Rainbow (sucks)
- Robitussin (sucks)
- Trogdor the Burninator (rewrite for Conservation Week; featured!)
- Major Contributions of Those of African Descent to the Realms of Philosophy, Science, Literature, and the Liberal Arts
- Seal Clubbing (rewrite; featured!)
- Ben Croshaw (featured!)
- Pointless Retrospective Articles: A Retrospective (rightfully huffed)
- Chutes and Ladders (featured!)
- Biology (rewrite, featured!)
- MonsterQuest (for PLS, featured!)
- Carnies (rewrite for CW, featured!)
- Behind the Music (featured!)
- Tea and Strumpets (featured, and the second best article of September 2010!)
- Inbox (Though only two of many jokes and a few suggestions)
Misc.[edit | edit source]
- User:Guildensternenstein/Harold Rosenbaum
- User:Guildensternenstein/Mooshy
- User:Guildensternenstein/Cheddar
HowTo's I have written[edit | edit source]
- HowTo:Write a Progressive Rock Song (featured on the front of the HowTo page, featured!)
- HowTo:Write a Techno Song
UnBooks I have authored[edit | edit source]
- UnBooks:The Lost Introduction to Walden (featured, and the second best article of March 2009!)
- UnBooks:"Incoherent Overwritten Literary Trainwreck" by Thomas Pynchon (featured!)
- UnBooks:Duty (quasi-featured, apparently; featured!)
- UnBooks:Insipid Sentimental Women's Novel (for PLS, 1st runner up; featured, and the top article of November 2009!)
UnPoetia I have authored[edit | edit source]
- UnPoetia:The First Draft of "Song of Myself"
- UnPoetia:Paradise Abridged (For PLS, featured, and the third best article of August 2010!)
- UnPoetia:Well-Oiled Birds (a collab with Al, featured!)
UnScripts I have authored[edit | edit source]
- UnScripts:A Vignette From Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
- UnScripts:Law & Order: Puritan New England (for PLS, winner of the Best Alternate Namespace category, featured, and the top article of February 2011!)
UnNews I have written[edit | edit source]
- UnNews:ICC calls emergency meeting because I kick too much ass at Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (for Skullthumper's hourly writing competition)
- UnNews:Crazed gunman takes hostages at HBO headquarters, demands network bring back The Sopranos
- UnNews:Evidence of Yeti's existence remains elusive
- UnNews:Fantasy realms left defenseless in wake of Warcraft expansion pack (featured!)
- UnNews:Madden 12 to feature new Lockout Mode (featured!)
- UnNews:Fred Phelps reads rest of Bible, disbands Westboro Baptist Church (featured!)
- UnNews:Zeus Endorses Schwarzenegger for Republican Presidential Candidacy (featured!)
Pages I'd like to rewrite[edit | edit source]
Other peoples'[edit | edit source]
- Thomas Pynchon (maybe)
- Fossil
- Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
- Horse
- Cotton Candy
- Porcupine Tree
I've taken it upon myself to rewrite all (or at least most of) the articles on great directors here, because I'm an avid film fan, and yeah. Also, the articles on most of these guys totally suck, so yeah.
My own[edit | edit source]
Usergroups I've founded[edit | edit source]
Images my IRL friend chopped for me[edit | edit source]
Audios[edit | edit source]
Articles I have reviewed[edit | edit source]
- Hovercars (review)
- Joe Biden (review)
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (review)
- Sweet smoking Jesus (review)
- Episcopal Church (review)
- Ghetto White Boy Syndrome (review)
- Coen Brothers (review)
- The Pointlessness (band) (review)
- HowTo:Write Good (review)
- UnBooks:Rorschach's journal (review)
- Inland Empire (review)
- Cactus (review)
- Do a Barrel Roll (review)
- Jew (review) (an IC effort)
- Man scale (review)
- That kid who wears his headphones around his neck (review)
- Great Britain (review)
- Thin Mints (review)
- Takk... (review)
- Vladimir Popovicovipskievinikyoff (review)
- UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver (review)
- Russo-Japanese War (review)
- Jim Jarmusch (review)
- Terry Gilliam (review)
- Metal Gear Solid 4 (review)
- Why?:Fight Club is a cop out? (review)
- Pandora (review)
- Affair (review)
- John Adams (review)
- Isaac The Tank Engine (review)
- User:MacMania/Oregon Trail (review)
- Heraclitus (review)
- HowTo:Get Nigger-Blood Out Of White Robes (review)
- I ate your Haagen-Dazs (review)
- User:MacMania/Lens flare (review)
- Yacht (review)
- Boobpedia (review)
- Charlie Kaufman (review)
- HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics (review)
- Stereotype (review)
- Fredd's/Mooshy's Papyrus Article
- Joseph Ducreux (review) (this was actually written after the "second opinion" was written)
- UnPoetia:Well-Oiled Birds (review)
- All Quiet on the Western Front (review)
- Miss Teen South Carolina. (review)
- MacMania's take on Moby-Dick (review)
- User:MacMania/HowTo:Be Japanese (review)
- User:MacMania/Chekhov's gun (review)
- MTV Cribs (review)
- Born again (review)
- wesley willis (review)
- Chicago Seven (review)
Boxes[edit | edit source]
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Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil! |
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This user is a whore to Microsoft and plays his video games on XboxLive with the GamerTag AkiraKurosawa4E |
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This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 16 years and 3 days. |
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This user is constantly PEEING. They apologize for the mess. |
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This user is a Brother of the Upsilon Sigma Sigma Fraternity. Humor, Honor, Hubris. Per Iocus Prudentia! |