User talk:Guildensternenstein

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Archives[edit source]

Fun fact[edit source]

You can't spell "Guildensternenstein" without "needier nestling nuts". Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 22:44, September 15, 2010 (UTC)

Stop being such a hyper bully, Hyperbole. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:54, September 16, 2010 (UTC)
By pole her? Pup 12:47 18 Feb '11
Yeah, there's not much you can do with "Hyperbole." —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:22, February 18, 2011 (UTC)

Neon Genesis Evangelion[edit source]

Since we both expressed that we like the series, and the current NGE article is a steaming pile of crap, is it possible we could do a rewrite collab? I know you're not much of a collaborator, and probably busy with your next wonderful, hilarious feature, but it seems like an entertaining project to me, and since I suck, I want somebody else to collaborate on it with me. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 22:03, September 18, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, I've thought about rewriting the NGE article, but the only problem is I don't have much of an angle to do it from. The only thing that comes to mind is perhaps doing something to the effect of "Neon Genesis Evangelion, despite the misgivings of non-otaku and skeptical girlfriends, is the single greatest contribution to human culture ever," or something like that. I dunno, though, we'll see, but it won't be for a while because I'm mad busy this next week. My anniversary is tomorrow, my girlfriend's birthday is Tuesday, I've got a paper due at the end of the week, and I still signed up to review Ape's article, so I should probably squeeze that in at some point, too. But yeah, basically, we'll see. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:09, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
I was thinking a more satirical angle dealing with the religious symbolism, or something. It's just one of those things where there's a billion different possible ways to go, and it can be incredible, or god-awful, or okay. Also, FUCK you've got a busy week. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN
I could take MTV Cribs off your hands if you'd like. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 19:48, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
Nah, it's alright, maybe I'll manage it tonight or something. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:28, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
Also, like I said, we'll see about the NGE collab. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:30, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
I'll be brainstorming. Do the Colts look fucking amazing or what? ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 01:44, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
I'm looking at the stats now. Holy shit. I missed quite the game, apparently. I spent the evening out with my girlfriend, so I missed out on Manning Bowl II. The Colts actually ran the fucking ball, too--I can't even remember the last time they had over 100 yards on the ground was. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:42, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
Women. It's football season, son of a bitch. Actually, I think Manning threw his 400th. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 04:00, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
I missed that too? Damn. Well, at least I've got Colts-Patriots to look forward to. Those games are consistently excellent. The one last year was the greatest game of regular season football I've ever seen, in my opinion. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:20, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah, that was crazy. I remember being so overwhelmingly elated that I destroyed the backyard. But in my opinion, it was only the 2nd best game of the season. Remember the Browns and the Lions? Holy fucking SHIT. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 20:22, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
Also happy birthday to your girlfriend. I'm having a birthday of my own on Thursday- and the possibility of going to a Gorillaz concert has been brought up. My fingers are crossed. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 20:25, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
I missed Browns-Lions, unfortunately, but from the highlights it looked like quite the game. Also, happy birthday to ya. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:11, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
Yeah. I guess so. ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 23:30, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
If it helps, I like the series too, so maybe I can help when you guys start your rewrite. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 19:17, 15 January 2011
Hmm, more like if we get started, which is a pretty big if at this point. Your help would be appreciated, though. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:19, January 15, 2011 (UTC)
On a completely unrelated note, you should take a look at this. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 23:55, 15 January 2011
Whoops. Well, everyone knows what they voted for, I guess, so... —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:55, January 16, 2011 (UTC)

Take the dance![edit source]

You know you want it!


Ok, bye! Beam me up Scotty. Dancing dude Jammy Grue Jammy.gif Dance.gif

So far[edit source]

You are winning the general knowledge category. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 22:40, Sep 30 2010 UTC

Yes, I see that. I know for a fact I'm not going to have anything close to the amount of time needed to finish that up, either, so hopefully my 1/6th completed article wins the day. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:46, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ[edit source]

Thumbs up2.jpg
This user created User:Guildensternenstein/Buffalo, New York, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!
Thumbs up2.jpg

Well, seeing as that article of mine is nowhere near completion, I'd say this award is a bit premature. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:42, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

Why dontcha finish it, then? It'll be epic. ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101018 - 03:49 (UTC)
I intend to, I'm just been really super busy lately. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:46, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
Curse business! Curse it! ~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101018 - 15:06 (UTC)

KKK[edit source]

I see you are having a problem with particular unwanted contributor (burning crosses all round?) but I am not sure about the use of the lynch photo in the article. It deflects from the basic joke and reminds everyone that these guys were (and are) no laughing matter. If it was a scene from a film like Blazin' Saddles, that would be different. Just a suggestion. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:02, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I suppose--I'll consider that. I haven't really touched that article since I wrote it last year, though, aside from reverting that contributor in question. Perhaps I'll revisit it again soon, and see what I can do. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:18, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
I have found some pix. I'll upload them. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:24, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
Hah, thank you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:31, October 22, 2010 (UTC)

Upsilon Sigma Sigma October Newsletter[edit source]


Ok guys, my bad. I was gone for a long time there. I found some free time recently so I'm hoping to get Upsilon Sigma Sigma started up again along with my other project, UnReviews.

At any rate, We're going to keep Weird, the August collaboration open. We're also going to go ahead and open up a November collaboration. The article on the queue that has the most votes is "Blockbuster" so that's the one we're going to do. You can find the collaboration page here. I'm probably going to disappear again because of school in a few weeks, so hopefully we can build up enough momentum here to keep our collaborations going. If you haven't noticed our previous collaborations have been huge hits, all have been featured on the front page. Hopefully "Weird" and "Blockbuster" will too in their own due time.

Looking forward to seeing you guys around the frat!

P.S. we have a FBotM nomination this month, make sure you go vote!

Founder -- SirSf13 (Talk) Upsilon Sigma Sigma's last completed collaboration CUN RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 2104 EST 22 Oct, 2010

Sincere SPECIAL thanks[edit source]

WOTM is the heaviest award ever
Hi Guildy, Of all the votes, yours was the best!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 14:35, Nov 1
Why thank you--you deserved it, after all. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:55, November 1, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again![edit source]

Symphony in Z Minor[edit source]

Yo, Rosencrantzenstein, are you ever going to do that review you booked? Now I'm not in any kind of rush for a review and appreciate that you're probably rather busy, but if you haven't made any notes or anything am I ok to strike your comments? Just in the hopes that someone else picks it up. --Black Flamingo 22:23, November 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I'm quite sorry about that--I had midterm stuff the week during and after I booked that, and now I have a half-dozen finals essays to worry about, so I've been preemptively working on some of those. Feel free to strike my booking so someone else can take a stab at it, but if I get a chance to do it and no one else has yet, I'll gladly write a review. Sorry again for the inconvience Flamingo. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:18, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
It's no inconvenience, I thought you'd probably be busy with school. I'll strike your booking, but of course feel free to pick it up again if you get time. Good luck with the essays. --Black Flamingo 08:03, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
Thanks. Good luck with your article. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:20, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
Half a dozen finals essays! Yikes. Maybe you could give a few of us one of them apiece and we could help you out. I, in fact, am an expert on the culinary habits of the eastern Peruvian llama, so if one of the essays happens to be in that field, I'm your man. Lots of esssays though! Luck and fair winds. Aleister 21:23 12 11
No, not quite, haha. Thank you for the offer, though, I appreciate it, and thanks for the wish of luck. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:08, November 13, 2010 (UTC)

Ta[edit source]

Thank you for voting my 40th feature this has enabled me to receive free electro-convulsive aversion therapy.--Sog1970 21:50, November 14, 2010 (UTC)

Your turn next, I suspect

Thank you, Sog. And do you suspect I'm next for the 40 club, or for electro-convulsive aversion therapy? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:18, November 15, 2010 (UTC)

Your wish[edit source] my command. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Hah, excellent, I will change my vote to a more strong For, then. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:04, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Read All About It![edit source]

--ChiefjusticeDS 14:28, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

The article on the character classes...[edit source]

Hi, I was just wondering if you could get back the original version on the character classes - sorry I even forgot the name of the article - where you have the shining commercial white dude as the first and best class (caucasian, ancient bloodline... I loved that) ... I would put the original version into my userspace, to link to another article. That is, if you remember when you cahnged it and so on. -- Style Oranssiviiva.jpg Guide 15:04, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.[edit source]

~ Pointy.png *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101125 - 01:03 (UTC)

The 6th Seed[edit source]

Hey Guildy, I'm hoping to help cement you into that 6th seed this weekend in FFootball. It would be nice to have a good manager in that spot to take the evil Philly Cheddar empire out in the first round of the playoffs ;-). Assuming you get this message before T-day kickoff: I'm so loathe to start people on Thursday football games yet I have Woodhead and Welker on my roster. I COULD bench one of them and plug in Crabtree but there's an opposing sentiment that if Crabtree manages to do better than either of the little Patriots, it won't be by much. I'm worried about a quick New England blowout resulting in kill-the-clock playcalling and lots of Jarvis Green Ellis. Any input? As of now, it looks like I'm sticking with the NE mighty mites.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  07:06, November 25, 2010 (UTC)

Don't you love the smell of the UnSignpost in the morning?[edit source]

--Wanna see a magic trick? 04:49, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

The UnSignpost, now with 25% less saturated fat[edit source]

--ChiefjusticeDS 16:12, December 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh shit! It's another unsignpost![edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 05:22, 16 December 2010

UnNews:Doors singer Jim Morrison wins profanity and exposure pardon[edit source]

The subject of this article is such an ass hole that he won’t even thank you. He told me to do it. Hey, fuck him! But, thank you! Specially you, Guildy, buku thanks!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:26, Dec 18

Fucking Jim Morrison. You and him are both certainly welcome, though. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:17, December 18, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Evidence of Yeti's existence remains elusive[edit source]

Please take that reference to a competing "news" organization out of the story and instead insert a Sources section for the reader. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 21:27 22-Dec-10

PS--And what about changing "proving" to "of" in the headline? Spıke ¬ 21:29 22-Dec-10

Sure and sure. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:30, December 22, 2010 (UTC)
By the way, what do you think? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:30, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

It's risky writing about a non-event, but you write well. I'll change that one word and do a graphic for the UnNews Front Page.

For bonus points, you could have an undercurrent firmer than just starry optimism and waste of money. Perhaps these guys know it is a scam but are playing it for grant money? Perhaps there really is evidence of a Yeti but these guys are so stupid they passed right over it? Still, it's fine as is.

On the Source--I do not need to know where you got the photo. Source ought not to point to a competing comedy site (and I am not sure you didn't steal the joke from them, which is not permitted). You might as well use {{Original}}. The only reason I asked is because I thought this was based on a real AP wire; if so, you should provide a link to it. See how it works? Spıke ¬ 21:42 22-Dec-10

PS--Guess you got to the name change; remember to QVFD the redirect, which nothing yet should be using. Spıke ¬ 21:43 22-Dec-10

Thanks Spike. This is just my third UnNews, so I'm still a little fuzzy as to just how it all works. Gonna go QVFD that redirect now. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:48, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

One really minor point: Zim once told me that the dash character screws up the podcast (I've fixed it). Also, we put {{Original}} in a Sources section (I've fixed that too)--but we have been debating that today in the UnNews:Newsroom. I wrote down all of this stuff I learned; for more such lore, see UnNews:Style. Spıke ¬ 21:51 22-Dec-10

This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:52, 23 December 2010

Ingmar Bergman[edit source]

For Christmas I got a Ingmar Bergman boxset. I already watched Through a Glass Darkly and it was great. So yeah, we pretty much like all the same things again. Except football, I'll never understand that. --Black Flamingo 13:23, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

That's pretty awesome. What films are in the boxset, though? I imagine it's some sort of Criterion Collection thing, but I'm pretty sure that Criterion has, like, three or four different Bergman sets, so yeah. Also, Through a Glass Darkly is a beautiful film, so I'm glad you liked it. Merry belated Christmas. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:32, December 27, 2010 (UTC)
It has that one, Silence and Winter's Light, or something like that anyway. They call it the "Faith trilogy" so I'm guessing they're all gonna be similarly themed. --Black Flamingo 18:25, December 27, 2010 (UTC)
Ah, yes, those are all very good. They are all similarly themed, though in terms of aesthetic and plots they're all really different. But, again, great films all. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:33, December 27, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 21:35, 30 December 2010

Yeti[edit source]

I know we agreed on a swap, but there's really nothing to say about your Yeti piece. It's kind of perfect. I've been reviewing it for hours now and have nothing. Do you really want a review for it? I'd be prepared to nom it for VFH if you didn't mind (why would you?). --Black Flamingo 09:32, January 2, 2011 (UTC)

Well, I certainly wouldn't mind a VFH nomination (you know me) if you think it doesn't need a review. I'm still gonna review your article, though, which I'll do sometime either today or tomorrow. Thanks. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:30, January 2, 2011 (UTC)
We'll give it a go then, it is good, and I'm sure it'll do as well as any other UnNews at least. And a thanks in advance for reviewing mine too. --Black Flamingo 17:12, January 2, 2011 (UTC)
Sure thing, thanks. And I'll get to your article today or the day after, like I said. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:19, January 2, 2011 (UTC)
I couldn't wait to vote for it so I nommed it in advance. Ha! Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 17:20, 2 January 2011
Just noticed that--thanks Socky. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:21, January 2, 2011 (UTC)
Good, I must hurry to vote against it. Thank you for your kind words on the WotY page, appreciated. Would be nice to give a dozen of those out a year, but then it wouldn't be WotY and uncy wouldn't have to kick itself for the luck of the draw (or luck of the drawer) that Mhaille has had to face for several years now. But, Cary Grant is always the inspiration. Aleister 20:29 2 1 '11
And Hitchcock of course - he never won an Oscar. --Black Flamingo 20:34, January 2, 2011 (UTC)
Who else is in that group? Uma Thurman. Madonna (for "Evita"). Probably Monroe, and many other old time actors. Aleister 21:00 2 1 '11
Ingmar Bergman, Stanley Kubrick, Hitch, of course--the list goes on, really. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:39, January 3, 2011 (UTC)
Kate Bush never won one either. --Black Flamingo 10:45, January 3, 2011 (UTC)
Johnny Depp. Tom Cruise. Aleister 11:45
Jesus, Buddha, Santa. --Black Flamingo 12:45, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery![edit source]

Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 09:55, Jan 6 2011 UTC

Hey lonely[edit source]

I'm working on this, and asking other writers if they'd like to contribute. It's basically a humorous lonely hearts column, but I'm too unfunny and lazy to come up with enough ads. You're a funny guy; think you'll be able to add a few? Lyrithya's going to make it look like an actual newspaper and everything. --Black Flamingo 13:55, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

Hmm, I'll try and come up with a few, provided I find the time. Even if I don't, though, this is a pretty funny/good idea. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:03, January 9, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Delivery![edit source]

Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 03:14, Jan 13 2011 UTC

Poetry in motion[edit source]

Hello, and may goddess find you lounging. I did a fix on the poem on VFH to explain the hair thing, and a couple of other minor tweeks, so I changed my vote. I had checked and this would give Jack Mort a Hall of Shame membership, something I enjoy helping users reach, so I gave it a second and later a fourth look. Maybe check out the tweeks and concept - it's not ha ha funny but I'm not a stickler to that. Greeks approach, I must go. Aleister 14:23 13 1 '11

Alrighty, I'll look at it again and consider changing my vote. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:52, January 13, 2011 (UTC)

Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 08:15, 20 January 2011

Yeti news thing[edit source]

Well, Yeti didn't make it; shame. Anyways I struck my booking of the review, don't know if you still want one but in any case I don't think I'm going to be of much help there. If you write anything else though let me know, I still owe you a pee. --Black Flamingo 23:04, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Eh, a review of that now's sort of pointless. However, I'm going to start on an article for PLS later today--after the competition you can review that if you want/still feel the obligation to. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:00, January 22, 2011 (UTC)

It is so![edit source]

My cock is so 3 3/4" long, not 3 3/5"! I love that extra something of an inch. I'm for Sog for WotY too, and would love it if at least three of us tie and if I "win" I don't want to win without him. Taking your numbering and boldfacing into account, I will UnHumbly claim the "official" most features in a calendar year, although, well, if you give Sog one day at the end of '009 and two days in 2011 he gets to 30 1/2. In calendar year 2010 he had 28 1/2, while I got to 29 (the first one on Februrary 13th). I really did get selfish and wanted the 30, just so I could have had XXX in MMX. That would have been fun, but alas, best laid plans. So it wasn't much of a difference on our feature counts. And I haven't said hello lately, so "Hello" and I hope all goes well in school and in other activities. Aleister 20:57 23-1-'11

I just recounted (twice, actually)--I forgot to leave out the most recent one, which was obviously done this year. Everything after the CCTV Nativity piece were all written in 2010, though, which leaves him with 30. I don't see where you're getting this 28.5 thing from. You can also (and this is the easier way, I think) count all the features he had before 2010--which is pretty obviously 17--add the 0.5 from his most recent one, and subtract it from his total number of features to get 30. So, yeah. In short, it seems as though both of our initial counts were wrong. On an unrelated note, thanks for the "hello" and well-wishes--the same to you, good sir. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:35, January 24, 2011 (UTC)
Jeez, a bolded can of worms! Only reason I mentioned this was your bolded statement about a yearly record. Either way it's counted, I seem to "win" the dubious prize, but it's so close it really doesn't matter. Two ways: If you count things actually first featured on the front page in 2010, Sog had 28 1/2 while I had 29. If counting things with a reasonable percentage written in 2010, Sog now has 30 1/2 and I have 31, but that way of counting includes an element of change as months or even years go by. A half-point either way. And again, I hope in my selfish heart that Sog, Mhaille, and myself tie for WotY, which would seem very fair and sponge-worthy. Aleister 9:12 24-1-'11
So I just recounted, and it seems as though I'm slightly retarded--I thought only God's Answering Service was featured this year, and I failed to realize that both Barbarian and Roberto Duran were also featured in 2011, mostly because I just assumed they were featured in 2010. My bad Al, I concede both my mistake and your single season record. I'm still going to vote for Sog, though, just so that "tie" you speak of becomes slightly more possible. Sorry for creating all the confusion. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:14, January 24, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for checking, and, after consulting with my lover, baseball statistician Bill James, I also gave a reasoning on the writer's page for awarding Sog 30. I best sign off now and soak my brain in something wet or smokey. Aleister 14:17 24-1-'11

UnSignpost! Wheeee![edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 04:42, 27 January 2011

The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 02:33, 3 February 2011

This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 02:27, 10 February 2011

UnScripts:Law & Order: Puritan New England[edit source]

It's cool, but it means you're left with a problem. The issue is that on your resolution, which I am assuming is 1240 X something, you have nicely semi-centered left justified text. On my laptop, which is 1024 X something I lose text off the right of the screen, and on my iPhone it's even messier - especially as the phone defaults to lite version.

Maybe you'd be better off putting this together within different divs along the way. So you have something like:

I am saying something here of importance. No really and truly it is important. If it wasn't important it wouldn't be here. And look at the font and the layout - it must be important.

Or alternatively:

I am saying something here of importance. No really and truly it is important. If it wasn't important it wouldn't be here. And look at the font and the layout - it must be important.

Comparative to:

         I am saying something here of importance.  No really and truly it is important.  If it wasn't 
         important it wouldn't be here. And look at the font and the layout - it must be important.

Now at your resolution these would all look roughly the same, but if you experiment with this using your talk page - as we've got these three examples neatly lined up now - you'll see that the different screen resolutions do very different things to the different sections. Pup 09:50 13 Feb '11

Also medieval-european-peasants.jpg Pup 10:07 13 Feb '11
Actually, the best so far - in my opinion - is a combination of the first two options:
I am saying something here of importance. No really and truly it is important. If it wasn't important it wouldn't be here. And look at the font and the layout - it must be important.
Also Lythirya has been working on a template that does pop-up images, which I think would have a little more impact (on most browsers) than having the images as links from the text. Again, I'm throwing ideas around as I'm a bit of a code and layout freak. You may have already realised that. Oh, and you'll probably already have noticed I've added the VFH template to the start of the article. Feel free to move or remove it, as after it was done I realised it would be better placed at the base, but your article, your call. Pup 06:23 14 Feb '11
Yeah, I saw Lythirya's use of that pop-up thing in Fuck ChiefjusticeDS--it wasn't in template form, though, and though I wanted to use just the code in my UnScript, it didn't work given the article's formatting. If she ever gets that to work, though, I'm totally going to use it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:43, February 14, 2011 (UTC)
{{PopupImage}} - it'll ruin us all. But you can test it. Also, cheese squigglies. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 08:34, 14 February 2011
The template still seems to interfere with the article formatting of my UnScript, but in future articles I'm definitely going to use it. Thanks. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:40, February 14, 2011 (UTC)
I've also started working on a template for scripts based upon this and using em and 12 pt monospace. (Theoretically should be courier, but courier doesn't seem to be the same on different browsers so monospace is the beat web safe substitute for it.). This talks about having it on A4 pages, but I'm ignoring that aspect to keep it more web friendly. I have finally discovered the relationship between Pt and inches (72 pt = 1 in = 6 em when using a 12 pt font) so I'm using that relationship to arrange my borders. This means it may still have some issue on 600 px wide resolution, but anything above that should be good. This should also mean Lythirya's excellent template can be worked into it smoothly. Pup 12:26 15 Feb '11
That's pretty cool--yet another cool template I hope to make use of. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:05, February 15, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations on winning PLS! Even though I know you only got it because you slept with the judges. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  21:27, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

Why thank you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:17, February 17, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah. I would have ranked you higher in next alt space, but you snore too much. Pup 12:45 18 Feb '11
Not the first time I've had that criticism, believe it or not. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:35, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
Could this be the formatting you were looking for, perchance? Changing the typeface to match yours shouldn't be a problem. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 15:53, 19 February 2011
Eh, I suppose, though the way the margins are still leaves a little something to be desired. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:48, February 19, 2011 (UTC)

Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:13, 17 February 2011

UnSignnull pointer exception[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 07:42, 24 February 2011


Happymonkeywinter2011.jpg ¡¡¡ OLÉ !!!  :)

--Shabidoo 10:15, February 24, 2011 (UTC)

You seem to have won yet another something.[edit source]

I hope you're happy.

Playwright of the Month badge.png

This user is the

February 2011

Playwright of the Month

Also, well earned. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 01:55, 1 March 2011

Hah, yeah, thanks for the nomination. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:50, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
I might have voted for you, too, but I never got around to it. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 03:55, 1 March 2011
Eh, it's all good, I won after all, and due to your nom. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 05:41, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
And you definitely didn't notice that I initally got the year wrong, either. Yeah, everything works out! Hurrah! *makes a hasty exit* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 05:50, 1 March 2011
I did, actually, but only after I pasted that to my userpage. You can check my edit history to see me changing it, if you're curious. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:32, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, both you and Modus did, since I did that on both of them... but I can pretend otherwise, right? I can pretend... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:34, 1 March 2011
Of course you can. Or, realizing this is a wiki and people can easily change shit like that (and do) all time, you can not worry too much about it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 06:36, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
But if people can change things... then my whole perception of reality is all wrong! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:48, 1 March 2011

All the UnSignpost you ever wanted[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:07, 3 March 2011

UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:05, March 10, 2011 (UTC)

AdminBots presents: The UnSignpost[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 05:13, 17 March 2011

Madden 12[edit source]

Took a quick read over it and I must say, it's greatly improved, very impressive. I didn't really see anything wrong that comes to mind, but if you're intending to try and feature this, might want to get it to pee review again to get a second opinion. However, I really do think you've made it a lot better and it made me, someone who's not all knowledgable about football, laugh. Good job. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)  Georgia-flag-on-soccer-ball-vector.jpg 20:31, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

Well thanks. I'm going to look it over at some point later and either mainspace it or put it up for Pee once more. Thanks again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:39, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpostOnTheDelivery[edit source]

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 10:12, 24 March 2011

This is your UnSignpost speaking[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:13, 31 March 2011

UnNews[edit source]

Urinating fountain.jpg

I just peed on something you wrote. I apologize profusely for that.

I'll attempt to control my bladder in the future. No promises though

Just reviewed your UnNews. Please don't hate me. Jackofspades.png (talk) 23:18, March 31, 2011 (UTC)

I literally just got done thanking you for this. Might as well do it here too: thanks. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:29, April 1, 2011 (UTC)

Guildy, Guildy, Guildy[edit source]

How goes your schooling? Did you ever see this rewrite I did? It should be right up yout street, and a nice companion piece to your (much better) Kurosawa article. --Black Flamingo 21:25, April 1, 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I just read it, and I think it's great. I actually just wrote something on your wall regarding it--I guess answer there, or something. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:47, April 1, 2011 (UTC)
Nah, I'm trying to save space. I have no plans to nominate it as that would be breaking the law, but I'm glad you liked it. I hoped you would. --Black Flamingo 22:26, April 1, 2011 (UTC)
Care if I nominate it? I just read it again and think it's great. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:33, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
If you think it's good enough, yeah. Cheers. --Black Flamingo 09:43, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Madden 12 to feature new Lockout Mode[edit source]

If you create an UnNews on March 13 (Wrote this earlier today--I'm going to finish it tomorrow) and file it on April 1, it does not show up on Recent news. I'm going to move this to your userspace without redirect, then recreate it on UnNews. If this screws up your VFH nomination, too bleepin' bad. Spıke ¬ 01:43 2-Apr-11

Okay, do what ya gotta do. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:28, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly creative UnSignpost header[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:23, 7 April 2011

Verbal Certificate of "Getting It"[edit source]

You get it. You're awesome. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 08:24, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

I never thought I'd hear those words (or, rather, see them typed on a screen) from you. And yes, I am very aware of this fact, thank you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 12:19, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:02, 14 April 2011

That UnSignposty thing[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:18, 21 April 2011

UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:18, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

Oil soaked birds[edit source]

Guildy, I just read our oily soaked birds poem again, after not reading it and playing the video for a long time. It's coming up on a year since we worked together on this, and methinks we were both touched by a muse. It's close to a perfect collab and description of the ongoing tragedy (the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico is covered with oil, and the event is still killing sealife on a daily basis). Thanks again for joining up on such an endeavor. Aleister 21:52 30-4-'11

Sure thing, Al, it was a pleasure working with you. You have the distinction of being the one user on this site I have successfully collaborated with. My summer vacation's coming up soon--how about we get together and work on a little something again? (I have no idea what, exactly, but still, we should do it.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:39, May 2, 2011 (UTC)
It would be an honours. Let me know when the time is right. I'm also putting together, or will soon, a group to work on HowTo:Fuck using the topics linked in the multi-linked paragraph in People Who Like to Fuck Naked, would you like to join that bumbling mob? Black Flamingo reminded me to get onto that, and I shall heed his advice. Aleister 23:29 7-5-'11
Perhaps, depending on the direction you or others want to take the article. A little something that just you and I work on together would be cool as well, though, a la Oil Soaked Birds. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:10, May 9, 2011 (UTC)
I for one would love to see that. Oil-Soaked Birds has got to be one of best UnPoetia going, up there with Paradise Abridg'd, in fact. --Black Flamingo 19:32, May 9, 2011 (UTC)
Why thank you. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:25, May 10, 2011 (UTC)

Signpost Un[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:21, 5 May 2011

Guten Tag[edit source]

And how are you? --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:22, 7 May 2011

I'm alright--I leave school for the summer in two-and-a-half days, and because I have no summer job lined up I have a feeling that I'm going to be doing a lot of writing for Uncyclopedia in the very near future. How about yourself? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:26, May 10, 2011 (UTC)
Me and you actually have a lot in common. We both don't have summer jobs, and we both write a lot for Uncyclopedia. Beyond that, I dunno, probably some other things too. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 10:06, May 12, 2011 (UTC)
Well, we both like a lot of music. (I'm pretty sure you like a lot of music, seeing as a great portion of your articles are on things like Modernist composers and Led Zeppelin songs and terms used for musical dynamics and the like. So, um, yeah.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 12:17, May 12, 2011 (UTC)
Good guess, I'm actually a music minor, if that counts for anything in life. Didn't know you were so into it yourself, I just always assumed you were a film person. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 12:20, May 12, 2011 (UTC)
Interesting--I suppose that explains how you know so much about people like Milton Babbitt, though. (The only reason I'm aware of him is because a couple friends of mine are studying music in college/university as well.) What else are you studying? I'm double majoring in English and History, and initially intended to minor in German as well before my school altered the sequencing of various classes and things and totally screwed that up for me. (I also briefly considered minors in Political Science and Philosophy with a concentration in aesthetics, but not for very long.) So, um, yeah. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:05, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
Oh, and I am into film, obviously, but I've written a a few band articles myself, some better than others. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:07, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
English and music for me. Yay English majors! --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 16:30, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
Hurray! —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:38, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
So are you German? --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:26, 22 May 2011
No, not quite. I'm from upstate New York, actually. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:01, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
I'm from Canada. Guelph, Ontario. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:19, 22 May 2011
Oh, cool. One of my high school ex-girlfriends' friends goes to the university in Guelph. Small world, I guess. Not that that connection is really all that significant, but still. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:22, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
I moved from Guelph to Unionville nearly two months ago. Unionville is quieter than Guelph. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:52, 6 July 2011

The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:43, 12 May 2011

Scripts and script form[edit source]

Since you recently made a script thing (at least, it seems recent) and cared about the format, unlike most folks, I suppose I should tell you that I made some templates for formatting UnScripts that should be a lot easier to use than straight-up css as well as give more options (such as adding images and whatnot) than preformatted text. You can see them in use with Ljlego's The Socialer Network and Funnybony's Lunar Launch - how do they look? Think you'll have nay use for the templates? Any input on how they could be improved would also be appreciated, for that matter. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 23:49, 17 May 2011

Yeah, 'recently' was in, like, January. Anyway, both those templates seem to work just fine, and they look great in the two articles they've been used in thus far. At the moment I have an idea for another UnScript floating around my head--if and when I write it, I intend on making use of your templates. So, yeah, I like them. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:19, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
Yay, I'm useful or something! *flails around happily* Thanks. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 01:45, 18 May 2011

UnSignpost[edit source]

~ Pointy.png I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:08, 19 May 2011

All hail The Führer[edit source]

Hi and thank you, I joined a month ago or so, happy to meet you! I couldn't ask for a more detailed answer, since I am a Grammar Nazi in French and want my English articles to be as perfect as possible, although I have shortcomings in that language. I'm a perfectionist. Thanks for the Wikipedia pointer! Hail the Führer everyday! Talk Mattsnow 04:14, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hah, thank you, and you're welcome. You speak French, you say? That's pretty impressive. Besides English all I know is some rudimentary German. Anyway, nice to meet you--hope you have fun contributing here. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:44, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

Re:For the Love of God[edit source]

I gave my "friend" my password & he sometimes edits articles using my password. Though could you please use another word for "liberals" & "conservatives"? Also, please add Oscar Wilde & Woody Allen as deities. Please delete that bit about libertarians & the scientific evidence. Sorry about this whole thing.

Let's see--no, hell no, and no. Now please go and: 1) learn to sign your posts, 2) change your username ('Caufield' is still misspelled, you know), and 3) never ask me to "please" do anything ever again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:25, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
Dude, I was just trying to be nice. I didn't even do anything. That was all my friend. I din't even know about what he did until today. I just asked if you could do that. Apparently you are a douche. If you don't like "please", try this: FUCK YOU.
Whoa, hang on there buddy. I suppose I was a bit snarky just now, and for that I apologize. However, I think it's nothing short of totally ridiculous that you come to my talk page and are all like "Oh, my 'friend' did all that stuff, silly him, sorry about all that. Now if you please, could you please go and please make all the exact retarded changes to your article that my 'friend' made and I just apologized for, please? Um, what? Why? If your 'friend' did that and you're apologizing for it, why are you asking me to change it? Where do you get off asking me to change things about my own piece of writing to begin with? Why do you and your 'friend' have such a bizarre and vested interest that I use the word 'pinko' instead of liberal? And why are you totally unable to sign your posts? (It's not all that hard--there's a button for it right up there on the top left.) Jesus Christ. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:47, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
"Buddy"? That isn't what your mother called me last night. The word "Pinko" is bad, but "Liberal" isn't too good either. I think the same thing about "conservative". The reason I think Oscar Wilde needs to be added is because Uncyclopedia is full with jokes about him, so it is sort of ironic he isn't on the list.--Holden Caulfeild 19:45, May 22, 2011 (UTC) (See, I can sign. The reason I didn't was to piss off you. Are you fucking happy?)
Well, that was unnecessary. Also, I use the term 'liberal' for two reasons. One: What the hell else am I supposed to call them? Two: because it's a generalizing term. See, the whole point of the article is that it satirizes (or attempts to, anyway) the very broad generalizations you have to make to get something like a D&D-style fantasy roleplaying game to work. In the latest edition of D&D, for instance, your character has to be shoehorned into one of two 'good' flavors, two 'evil' flavors, or be 'neutral'. Every moralistic stance and position, boiled down to five generalized groups. Likewise, in D&D:IRL, there are just the handful of over-generalized political positions to choose from, as well as just 'good', 'evil', and 'neutral'. See the point? I hope so. And the whole Oscar Wilde thing became passe in, like, 2006. Oscar Wilde was passe when I joined here two and a half years ago, and was passe when I wrote that article two years ago. The main reason for this is because the whole Oscar Wilde pseudo-meme really isn't all that funny, and actually rather annoying if you think about it. So, yeah, that's my response. I'd also like to suggest that if you find yourself to be such a comedic genius that you feel the need to tell me--a user with nearly 40 features and 2 1/2 years under his belt--what to do, that you write something original yourself. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:16, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
If I was you Guildy I would make a mark in your calendar in three months time. I am sure 'Holden Caulfeild' will try and renew this 'conversation'..or perhaps his 'friend' will come by instead. Sometimes civility is not enough with certain people. Too much easily available, sweetened fizzy water in my view. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:51, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
Hello. I am the real Holden Caulfeild (the holder of the account, I mean). The person who made those edits & typed everyting above was a different person who got ahold of my PW. He has done this to me on other sites. I have changed my PW. 19:38, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
I see. So you are the one responsible for misspelling 'Caufield'? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:52, July 11, 2011 (UTC)
Yes. I'm also the one responsible for not knowing why you have to be a dick about it.-- 15:35, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
Is it just me, or are you sounding a lot like your 'friend' and his 'friend' before that right now? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:42, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
All I'm saying is that you are making a mountain from a molehill.-- 01:55, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
I think having your password stolen and account hijacked by a 'friend' who then had that account hijacked by another 'friend' and/or very unconvincingly lying about the existence of these 'friends' and their actions is no small matter. Neither is misspelling 'Caufield'. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:09, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
If you hate the book, why are you throwing a sissy fit over the name? Besides, I'am not lying. This is what happened: He got a hold of my PW. Then he made a bunch of retarded edits. Then, you told him to stop. Then he lied about being the real holder of the account. Then you refused to make the changes. Then he got mad. Then you apologized. Then he made some stupid "Your mother" joke. Then, I discovered my account was blocked. Then, I came here & apologized for his actions, & informing you I changed my PW. You will never have to deal with him again (Unless, of course, he makes his own account). PS: What is a "Pinko"?-- 18:42, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, fair enough, I suppose I've been unfairly skeptical of you, and I accept your explanation and apology. And you don't want to know what a pinko is. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:09, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks.-- 17:14, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Phnerb unsignpost[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

Hello. Your in-depth pee reivew of the Fred Phelps UnNews is somewhere and waiting for you there. You will find that my critical skills are top-notch. I also did a slight edit sweep of the page with a couple of options there for you. My basic advice is that it's good now, just expand it a bit more to give Fred Phelps even more rope to hang himself. That long pee review tired me, so I must nap now, with a drink and a dog. Aleister 19:46 31-5-'11

The UnSignpost: Best before Friday![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you[edit source]

A nice pee review, and I will get into it further and work on the page. Thanks for all the spelingg catches too, one of my weeknesess. I suppose it does have to be cut back a bit, sigh, and I'll try to do so without losing much of the information. Too much jew baiting, you say? Can there ever be enoungh? And all the rest. Once I dive into it and come out the other end I'll let you know so you can ignore it. Thanks again! More later, things to do people to see. Aleister 19:22 3-6-'11

WOTM[edit source]

Thank you so much for your vote for May Writer of the Month, I really appreciate it! -- Sf13 Upsilonsigmasigmacrest.PNG0101 EST 6 June 2011

Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

Chicago Seven[edit source]

is pretty close to being well polished. Please take a look if you'd like. And the frat is active in working on two pages, "Muse" and "Boyfriend", with an idea shaping up on the Muse talk page after edits by a few of us. Please take a look, see if the theme makes sense or if you can add and/or subtract from it, and go wild, man. Aleister 1:14 9-6-'11

Did some more polishing, then nommed Chicago Seven. Long live Abbie! Although he is dead. So is Jerry Rubin and David Dellinger. The five others still are alive, but they are the lessers of these evils. Except for Rennie Davis, who is pretty cool. Anyway, thanks again for the helpful review, your suggestions improved the page mightily. Aleister 11:53 10-6-'11
Awesome, I'll read the results of your polishing and vote in it appropriately later today. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:21, June 12, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for the vote and the encouragement. I trimmed lots of it, but most of the rest has either it's place on the page or is stuff I know about second-hand and felt needs to be in there to make it a comprehensive real-world page. Some more tweaks and maybe add just a couple more twisty references to the era and it'll be really good to go. I do like it much more after following your advice, so there's that. Thanks again! (and when in the name of all that's unholy are you going to put more of your pages up and get to 40 - I've had the cake all picked out and hidden away for awhile!). Aleister 19:07 15-6-'11
Very soon--I've been spending the last week or so reading, taking notes on what I've been reading, and applying to scholarships (and Xbox, and friends, and other stuff to the effect as well). I'm going to revise those two articles I have in my namespace very soon, though, and write some new stuff very shortly. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:48, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost Activate![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

Inbox[edit source]

Oh yeah, I was supposed to ask you; we're rewriting inbox. Well, technically we've already rewritten it but it needs more ideas (and editing). Any way you can pitch in would be great, whether it's adding new jokes or revising the existing ones. --Black Flamingo 23:14, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, I see. If I can think of any useful contributions, I'll be sure to let you know. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:05, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

HEy there Guildy[edit source]

Long time, no me spamming you. How have things been? - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 12:49,21June,2011

Things have been going pretty well. I've been spending my summer reading, applying to scholarships, writing supplemental stuff for my school newspaper, not having a job, and not writing for here as much as I thought I would (though that may change soon). How have you been? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:23, June 21, 2011 (UTC)
Well, I've got my college picked out for the Fall and I haven't been writing here at ALL and I still haven't gotten a job either. Also, regular day-to-day stress and distractions, and my year of writing for the newspaper has run out. All in all, I think I'm alright. I need to read more. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 05:38,22June,2011
Cool. Where are you going to be going to school? I remember seeing on facebook ages ago that you got into some fairly-prestigious liberal arts college--are you going there? I forget. Also, what sort of authors/types of books do you like? I can recommend some stuff if you'd like. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 14:52, June 22, 2011 (UTC)
I'm going to Lycoming College in Pennsylvania. And, I don't know, I don't have specific types that I like. I read a lot of Stephen King I guess, but then I also read Grapes of Wrath-y types of books too. I went out and bought a ton of used books and now I'm slowly working my way through them. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 15:01,22June,2011
Ah, I see, very cool. And good luck working through all your books. In other news, assuming that the NFL's labor situation is resolved in the next few weeks, I'm going to be running the UFFL again this year--can I count you in? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 20:00, June 22, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, I suppose so. Maybe being forced to look at Uncyclopedia on a regular basis will convince me to get back into writing again. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 23:07,22June,2011
Excellent. The obligatory forum thing will probably be up in a few weeks, naturally. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:48, June 22, 2011 (UTC)
Obligatory? Guildy, you can't use big words when talking about football. It's just not natural. - ho scopato tua madre nel culo - 03:05,23June,2011
Yeah, I suppose you're right, haha. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 18:04, June 24, 2011 (UTC)

Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

You spiritually voted for visual puns, which got featured![edit source]

Tank U

--Wanna see a magic trick? 01:55, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

The Un-Sigh-npost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

Advance Congrats on BIG 40[edit source]

Hiya Guildy! Please allow me to be the first to congratulate you on the up coming BIG 40th. Your Unnews on VFH is already passed and will be FA soon. I'm glad to have helped make it happen by voting for your great articles. Cheers!--Funnybony Icons-flag-th.png Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 16:05, Jul 1

Why thank you Funnybony, I appreciate it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:08, July 2, 2011 (UTC)
Nice work, Guildy ;-) --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 19:50, Jul 9

It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

40th[edit source]

Yay! I'm glad I logged on in time to add to the forum (I put in the cake I was hiding and saving for you too). Congrats, and so well deserved that it's horrible to contemplate. 50, you can see 50 on the horizon! Aleister 16:43 12-7-11

The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

Football[edit source]

"Picked off.


Gets passed Manning!


Yeah, Manning did throw that pick, unfortunately. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, random anonymous IP. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:17, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
Anytime =D

The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Alright man, I'm in[edit source]

Now, what's the name of our league, and how do I sign up? I have a Yahoo! account, and I actually use it for uncyclopedia. Plus, please help me understand the draft stuff , I need to get used to the entire system again. Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 19:15, July 30, 2011 (UTC)

I haven't yet created the league on Yahoo! yet--that I'll probably do tomorrow, along with the rest of the draft stuff. Information about the draft with be included on the draft forum topic. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:20, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
Alright, lets do this. (Also, get ready to start the Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza!, starts tomorrow, August 1st, at 12:00AM EST!) Remember to walk me through things when it happens, ok? Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 12:56, July 31, 2011 (UTC)
Sure thing, will do. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:43, July 31, 2011 (UTC)

I emailed RAHB[edit source]

Seeing if he wants to play this year. Hopefully he gets back to me tonight, and we can get this thing going again. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 02:43, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Alright, thanks Woody. Let me know what he says as soon as you can. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:07, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

So...[edit source]

What time Tomorrow do I autopick for Aimsplode and pick Tomorrow? He seems to have fundamentally misunderstood the 24-hour draft period per pick.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 23:41, August 8, 2011 (UTC)

Eh, I don't know. To be fair, he was banned all yesterday, so him missing the first time around isn't his fault. I'm not sure what he thinks he'll do with this "trade" he wants to swing, though. I contacted Cheddar through facebook to see if he'd be at all interested in making a post-draft trade, and as of now have yet to hear back from him. So, um, we'll see I guess. Right now I'm thinking that we'll wait to hear if Cheddar wants to make a post-draft trade. *shrug?* —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:28, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
I DID kinda unban him for most of the day Yesterday, as soon as I saw he was banned.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:45, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, I saw the ban log entry and your reasoning, though I don't think Aimsplode knew he had been resurrected. Basically, if Cheddar doesn't get back to me on facebook by 1:00 PM I'm just going to straight-up call him (his number's posted on FB) and ask directly. If he declines, Aimsplode has till the end of the day to make his picks. If Cheddar accepts and names the players he wants, I'll autopick those two players for Aimsplode (saving him the trouble of doing so) and you'll be on the clock again and we can hopefully get this fucking thing going again. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 04:15, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

Totally Unnecessary Message[edit source]

Like you don't already know it's your draft pick by now. Oh well, just dotting my I's anyway --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  17:08, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

Hah, well I appreciate the follow-through. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 17:19, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

What he said.[edit source]

Indeed. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 00:14, August 12, 2011 (UTC)

Sorry man[edit source]

I want apologize for the crap that happened the last two days during my part of the draft. The first day, I was banned. The second day, I had to drive from Florida to D.C., with no Internet connection the entire way. Sorry for the trouble. I read your message on my talk page just now, and I'll be happy to trade them both for Vick (I'm an Eagles fan :D), thanks for the work you put into the situation. If you have anything else you have to tell me, not I'll be out in D.C. Most of tomorrow, but I'm on tonight, so anything you have to say, now would be the time. Thanks again. Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 23:12, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:08, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

Your turn![edit source]

GO! GO! GO! HURRY! NOW!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:33, August 12, 2011 (UTC)

So... at what point do we give up on Aimsplode and put him on autopick? He seems to be ... unfocused. Assuming he doesn't swoop in to pick in the next few hours, he'll have missed three picks in a row. I'm not sure I want to give him ANOTHER 24 hours to pick after I auto him Today.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 18:51, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
Whelp, rules are rules, so if he doesn't make his pick in the next 11 minutes I'm going to make his for him, as that's how that works. I guess Aimsplode has a lot of driving and/or random stuff to do, though, and he did apologize and explain why he was late in picking last time. Basically, he's going to be autopicked for this time, but he gets another 24 hours to make his next pick and potentially overturn the first autopick if he doesn't like it. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:15, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
In case you missed it on the draft page, Splode has been banned again for whining about his last ban. He will not be able to edit Uncyc until tomorrow and, obviously, phail to take his turn before the allotted time runs out. Maybe get his e-mail for the next ban he gets for whining about the second ban which was for whining about the first ban?--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  14:37, August 14, 2011 (UTC)
Ohhhhh, You pickie now Joe.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  17:28, August 14, 2011 (UTC)
Your turn again. Also, RAHB did email me back saying he wanted in, but it looked like we were full up. I would say just dump the Sploder for RAHB, but given that there was a tentative trade agreement between Splode and Cheddar, that may be more difficult than first thought. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 03:33, August 17, 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. And yeah, if only RAHB got back to us slightly earlier. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 03:36, August 17, 2011 (UTC)
ha-HA!!!! I'm NOT missing 6 picks in a row! This time, I'm only banned for life on IRC :D Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 23:36, August 17, 2011 (UTC)

Pickee!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  05:39, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

Matt Lobster has gone over the allotted 24 hours --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  21:14, August 19, 2011 (UTC)
You up. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 15:31, August 23, 2011 (UTC)
Ring-A-Ding!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  05:27, August 26, 2011 (UTC)
Autopick time for Skinfan --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  18:51, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
Unnecessary reminder time. Maybe you could edit "last person to edit wins" a few times before you don't take your turn or something. lol!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  14:34, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

12 Hour Rule[edit source]

We're obviously going to have the same 3-4 people not paying attention to the draft and taking 23.5 hours to make a pick - if we're lucky. I suggest enacting a 12 hour rule.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  05:57, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

Can I second this? Aimsplode has ignored his picks every time but once. There was a time when I had as much time to wait between my two picks next to each other as I did the ones far apart. I suggest we start the 12-hour picks round 10 (when most people start looking for backups).--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 11:21, August 25, 2011 (UTC)
Thirded. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 11:26, 25 August 2011
Alright, fine by me. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:45, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

Wonko tiddlybum-post[edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

Guildy, my man[edit source]

I would like to apologize for my rudeness earlier, and I'm actually 22, not 11. Second, technically this isn't the third time I've missed the draft, but the first, since the first to times I was banned for no reason. I note you treat this as the third time by your attitude. Also, this isn't Vick's first season. Remember? The Dogfighting? Got jailed? Came back? Was awesome again? Remember?!

Anyway, I will hopefully make the next few draft picks on time. Unless, of course, I don't. In which case the cycle of arguments and blaming will start again. Meh.

Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 18:57, August 26, 2011 (UTC)

Alright, fair enough, although I'm still curious as to why you didn't draft last morning when you clearly could have. What's up with that? And yes, I know all about Vick's career. Look here:

You'll notice that Vick's only started all 16 games of a season once, way back in '06. Also, He was periodically injured in midst of games in many of those 15 game seasons, you'll recall. So yeah.
Finally, I'm sorry if I went off a little bit, but seriously, try to be a bit more punctual, okay? —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:11, August 26, 2011 (UTC)
Meh. All in good measure. I'll try and be punctual next time. Sorry again. Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 21:58, August 26, 2011 (UTC) Just be happy I didn't get banned again, bastard!!
No problem, 'Splode, I'm glad we got this resolved. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 22:26, August 26, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Guildy[edit source]

I'd like to be autopicked for in the next rounds, if that's not a problem. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 20:54, 28 August 2011

Sure thing. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 23:28, August 28, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Mr. Stein, I would like you to do a really poor job of autopicking for Socky in the coming rounds, if that's not a problem. (Also, you're up.) Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 03:12, August 30, 2011 (UTC)
*looks suspiciously at Woody* Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 15:47, 1 September 2011

Bench[edit source]

What does bench mean in the draft? Can we choose any player for bench? --ShabiDOO 20:06, August 30, 2011 (UTC)

I can field this one. Basically, you have bench players for a couple of reasons. Every week, you have to set your roster for the games. During the season, certain NFL teams will have "bye" weeks where they do not play. Therefore, having a player on your starting roster who isn't actually playing that week would be......non-productive. Players also get hurt and put onto injured reserve for X amount of weeks. Therefore, it would be silly to have an injured player on your starting roster. You need to either use a bench player or pick up a free-agent (a player that nobody drafted). They're literally free. There's also "unfavorable matchups", a week where your starting player (such as a defense) will be facing a team or situation that is....unfavorable. You'll want to use a replacement. Star players, especially running backs, get injured all the time. Having a second string RB isn't a bad idea for your bench. What if the team's normal starter gets hurt? You'll have the Go-To guy, who will be valuable. Take a look at the official "bye" weeks for NFL teams on the schedule and draft backups for when certain teams and players will not be playing and gaining points for you. Merely having a full roster of active, healthy players in your starting lineup every week is a key to success. You also want to keep track of serious injuries during the year and possibly draft a free agent who will be the new starter in the injured player's absence. Happens every year. People go down to injury and undrafted players suddenly become fantasy football stars - just because they get to touch the ball a lot. Hope this helps you. --DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  20:20, August 30, 2011 (UTC)

Wow, guildy.[edit source]

You double-skipped me instead of autopicking for me, wtf? Aimsplode (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories) Happy Holidays! 22:47, August 30, 2011 (UTC)

Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives![edit source]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:09, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

Authorization for Bradaphraser: Granted[edit source]

Hi Guildy, Brad said I should drop you a note about my plan. I'll be traveling this weekend and I cannot guarantee I will have net access. I have left a list of my picks with Brad. I will be gone from Friday until Monday, Brad has my permission to make my picks for me while I am gone. Thanks, Luckdragn

Yeah, I saw on the forum, though thanks for letting me know directly. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 01:31, September 1, 2011 (UTC)
Any chance I could get authorization to do autopicks? Seeing as how I have the least amount of a real life and the most spare time at odd hours.......anyway, I would have given the Lobster Roy Helu in this situation. No bench whatsoever and nothing but RB's at the top of the rankings.--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  14:30, September 1, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, go ahead and make autopicks. Since I'm back at school now, I'm not going to be in front of a fantasy-football-access-ready computer most of the day, so feel free to make autopicks when Brad and I can't. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:03, September 1, 2011 (UTC)
Also, you are up, Tony Bro-mo. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 04:50, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

Autopick for Cheddar time if you can beat Brad to it. I'd do so but I just got back from work and I'm pretty trashed and don't feel like thinking lol!--DRStrangesig5.png Sherman.png Fingertalk.png  15:08, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

Time to go!--DRStrangesig5.png