Apology

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We're Very Sorry To Say That We Don't Actually Have A Page On "Apology", But If You've Come Looking For A Guide on How To Make Cheap Apologies, You've Come To The Right Place!

Siamo molto spiacenti di dover dire di non avere ancora una pagina sulle "scuse", ma se sei venuto cercando una guida su come fare semplici scuse, sei venuto nel posto giusto!

¡Estamos muy apesadumbrados de decir que no tenemos realmente una página sobre las "disculpas", pero si usted ha venido buscando una guía en cómo hacer disculpas baratas, usted ha venido al lugar correcto!

Es tut uns sehr Leid zu sagen, dass wir nicht wirklich eine Seite auf "Entschuldigung" haben, aber, wenn Sie gekommen sind, nach einem Führer auf, wie man sucht preiswerte Entschuldigungen bildet, sind Sie zum rechten Platz gekommen!

Мы очень сожалеем, но у нас нет статьи, называющейся "Извинение"; однако, если Вы ищете руководство о том, как правильно извиняться, то Вы на правильном пути!

אנו מתנצלים מאד על כי אין ברשותנו דף בנושא "התנצלות". אבל, אם הגעתם לכאן על מנת לקבל מידע על איך למצוא תירוצים זולים, הגעתם למקום הנכון!

申し訳ありませんが、"謝罪"のページは実際にはありません。しかし安っぽい謝罪の仕方についてなら、ここは正しいサイトです!

As we said, we are so extremely sorry that no one has been bothered to write an apology page but we can do no more than offer our greatest and most sincere expression of regret on the fact that we have no page about apologies. We are also sorry that we couldn't even think of anything funny to put here, but instead filled this page with a half-funny and un-original ideas. We would also like to take this opportunity to offer our sincerest regret for all the damage and harm that Uncyclopedia has caused. It has been very, very bad and it knows it. From now on Uncyclopedia will not attempt humour ever again.

We are so, so sorry.

To the children[edit | edit source]

We would like to offer a big, fat lie "sorry" to the children concerning the following matters:

  • McDonald's
  • Canada, eh?
  • Global warming ... actually, hell no! You should be grateful for this you little snot-covered pieces of dirt! Now your puny holidays are warm and nice.
  • The Internet – we're sorry that you get to share the porn now.
  • That your parents conceived you
  • Family values
  • Nazis No, I'm pretty sure Nazis is meant to be in there ... Nazis
  • Communists
  • Flavourless flavoured condoms
  • This sorry excuse for a page
  • This sorry excuse for a list

Sorry for the sorry-ness of this page[edit | edit source]

We're sorry for the sorry-ness of this page, the amount we've said "sorry" already and the annoying fact that we've dodged saying "apology". We're sorry that we put a gay box thingie, we're sorry that we ever made your or even, allowed you to cast your eyes upon this sorry puddle of a heap of words. We're sorry for insulting vulnerable groups of society and for preying on the weakness of others. We're sorry for laughing at your excuse for a god and we're sorry for saying sorry about things you never really cared about...

Sorry.