User:Fenris2010/Jelly beans
Jelly beans are a type of bean that get their colors from different things. Jelly beans are not to be confused with the very different and much more hostile "jelly beings".
Jelly bean colors[edit | edit source]
Red jelly beans[edit | edit source]
“It's not that I don't like red jelly beans, it's just that I don't see the use when I have some perfectly good blood to drink.”
Red jelly beans get their color from blood. As of yet, it is currently unknown where jelly bean companies get the blood from. Some have suggested that red jelly beans could be an alternative for the needs of vampires. All attempt to do this however, have ended with the person trying to reach the vampires disappearing without a trace and one new vampire mysteriously appearing. Any attempts to find out where the forementioned companies get all the blood from are ill advised.
White jelly beans[edit | edit source]
“Moo!”
White jelly beans get their color from cow milk. We here at Uncyclopedia personally feel bad for the cows, since we know they're abused. We know because in ads for white jelly beans, the disclaimer says: Some animals were hurt in the making of this commercial. Some people have suggested that white jelly beans are actually made of solid milk. Because of this theory, there have been multiple instances of people trying to get their cows to produce white jelly beans instead of milk. This has generally been met with discontent, especially from the cows.
Yellow jelly beans[edit | edit source]
Yellow jelly beans are actually a secret plot orchestrated by the government to achieve total mind control over the human population. What proof do I have, you ask? I have uncovered substantial proof that
If you are reading this, you are now guilty of treason. Several soldiers will be at your current location shortly. Do not attempt to escape, or you will be killed upon sight.
Blue jelly beans[edit | edit source]
Blue jelly beans are