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New stuff at the end, please; I'll make it fit into the section organization after the topic dies down.

Is this about UnNews or UnNews audio? If so, talk to me here.

I don't routinely put a Watch on other people's talk pages. Nothing personal! I endorse keeping a conversation together on a single talk page, but a few days after the conversation ends, I will Unwatch you--the alternative being endless false alarms.

Anything typed here I may post-edit clerically. Typically, I combine parts of dialogues that took place on the other guy's talk page. Some conversations that pertain to the text of an article are moved to that article's talk page.


William Lane Craig

Excuse me good sir. But why did you undo my edits to my William Craig article? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Axlman5 (talk • contribs)

I saw in RecentChanges the one where you changed "my dirty vag" to "my smell [sic] vag." I decided this was not enough better to warrant going in and correcting it, and instead used my magic Rollback button, which undid many other changes I had not seen. The rest of them are mostly different rather than better, but I don't mind them. You may undo my change, though the whole article is ranty and slutty and I hope you will go on to improve its tone rather than just delight in a website where you can use swears. Articles should be good for the reader and not just a naughty pleasure for the writer. Thank you for asking and not just reverting. Spıke ¬ 21:40 25-Jun-12

I don't know if this how I'm supposed to respond to your response, but I can't figure out any other way lol.

I appreciate the criticism. I'll see if I can improve on the article, with your critiques in mind. However, I just want to say a few things:

I think there was significantly more to the article than me "delighting in " naughty language. However, I guess there was a lot of sexual jokes, and maybe I can change some of them. I did think to myself that the sexual jokes were kind of cheap, but it is kind of funny considering who Craig is and how his responses are still consistent what he actually says in real life. As for the ranty nature, that's kinda my style, but I don't think the rants are so unfocused to render the article unpleasant to read.

Most of the edits I made were for spelling and grammatical changes, so that's why they weren't "better". The only reason the "smelly vagina" one was made was because that made it consistent with Craig's response.

Anyway, thanks for the response. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Axlman5 (talk • contribs)

Yes, typing here is the usual way to reply, as I prefer that the conversation all be in one place. You could have posted something on User talk:Axlman5 but I am not "watching" you at the moment. I have been visiting Special:RecentChanges the last few days, where I see everything, but normally I would not know that a response there was addressed to me.
Separately, you need to sign your posts. Just type ~~~~ at the end of your message and it will be converted into a signature and a timestamp.
Let me retract the assertion that you were "delighting in" anything, and simply encourage you to go beyond making contributions in the character of the article, but also strive to improve it. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 01:59 26-Jun-12

Is my new sig annoying?

Tell me, SPIKE, does mousing over my signature bug you? --Clicky! Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUNPBJ'12PLS(0)Stuy'16] 03:12, June 27, 2012 (UTC)

Everything you do here to call attention to yourself (and that is everything you do here) bugs me. Spıke ¬ 12:46 28-Jun-12

Sorting VFD noms

Hey, Spike. Should we start sorting VFD nominations in order of number of delete votes, where the highest scores are at the bottom? This would make it easier to find articles that the community generally wants huffed or wants kept. --QZEKЯOM Icons-flag-oly.pngIcons-flag-us.pngIcons-flag-jm.png Proud sponsor of Team Zombiebaron Tw$*ty Tw%#ve G*me$ FTW! Let's go for the g^@d! 01:20, July 9, 2012 (UTC)

Are you for real? mAttlobster. (hello) 21:30, July 10, 2012 (UTC)
The answer to this one before you can even say anything else is "No," because of exactly what Matt just said except maybe with 3 or more "fuckings" in it. --Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 22:57, July 10, 2012 (UTC)
I'll see your three "fuckings" and raise you a "goddamned", which I find to have a more satisfying heft these days. "Fuck" is an underfed, whipped orphan of a livery horse, with legs like hickory pegs, dragging an empty carriage behind. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jul 11 '12 15:51 (UTC)
I completely concur with everything SPIKE has said on this subject. Nominally Humane! 09:27 15 Jul

Unified template for nations of the world

I think I've found our {{Template template}} for nations of the world. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jul 3 '12 4:24 (UTC)

That's what I was talking about. Now, are you saying it's on me to populate it? Spıke ¬ 22:13 3-Jul-12

Oh no. I figured it would be a collaborative thing. We can start with any of the sandboxes in my userspace, but I have to clear one out, first. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngWed, Jul 4 '12 1:26 (UTC)

Well, tell me where you put it and I'll visit. Now, the templates for North America, Central and South America, etc., should correspond to these bars, but it would be nice if the relevant bar to any article would default to the show state. Then we wouldn't need a ponderous template listing every real country for which Uncyclopedia has an article. Spıke ¬ 15:27 4-Jul-12

Yeah, that was the idea from the beginning, right? Only show the section that corresponds to the page it's on?

Anyway, do I need to import this? Because we either need it, or something like it. Its code is needlessly complex for our purposes here, but might be useful for other shit later on. If I do import it, I gotta rip the shit out of it which we don't need and will never need; if I don't import it, I gotta come up with something from scratch. Your call. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngThu, Jul 5 '12 5:48 (UTC)

You could import that, by cut-and-pasting. I guess. --Clicky! Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUNPBJ'12PLS(0)Stuy'16] 16:13, July 5, 2012 (UTC)
BB: Yes, that was the idea from the beginning. Dunno whether to believe the documentation on {{Navbox}} that it is used on a googol plex Uncyclopedia pages, but using existing code is attractive from the standpoint of not repeating work, making the appearance to the user more uniform, and making machine-based navigation more expedient. Qzekrom: Yes, in no case was I going to re-type everything. PS: Local internet is very spotty this week; I am at a public library at the moment and will be relatively inactive for a while except when at certain ballparks. Spıke ¬ 17:17 5-Jul-12
Oh, Wikipedia. There is no urgent need to copy Wikipedia's code if you've got something that works--nor spend days trying to figure out why the documentation of it is flaky--unless doing so is "a good thing" under the criteria I mention above. Spıke ¬ 17:20 5-Jul-12
I had a working equivalent of Template:Navbox at {{NavBox1}} and I've moved it to {{Navbox}} just now. I hadn't yet noticed the template that was previously there was deleted. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 16:24, 11 July 2012

Sorry to hear about your Internet troubles. Anyway, we have a deprecated NavFrame CSS class + Javascript here. Unfortunately, it has been styled for the unsignpost, which it is used primarily for. Also it is deprecated. We do not have the JS which is required to make the wikipedia navbox work, and looking at the code they use, I can see that it does not even follow the MediaWiki guidelines for best-practices. >_< I'm working on my own, it's mostly done, now all I have to do is convince an admin to import it into the main site script....blah blah blah, it'll be ready to go probably within the week.

In the meantime, feel free to have a look at User:Bizzeebeever/Template. The script isn't working yet, the boxes have not been styled properly, and the formatting is just a rough draft,'s a start. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Jul 6 '12 12:33 (UTC)

Mostly finished

The final version is going to consist of the current country navboxes all transcluded into this one (after I fix them up, of course). If you've got any ideas for a color scheme, that would be appreciated; should I just go with the boring default wikipedia look? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Jul 15 '12 7:53 (UTC)

/me knocks on door, puts ear up to it, peeks into crack in blinds, looks in the fake rock and under the ceramic frog. "Hello? I know you're in there...I can see you!" ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jul 17 '12 9:17 (UTC)
Sorry for the silence--I am still off-line except at the ballpark or parked outside the public library, and my car is not air conditioned, nor is the ballpark. Your template is awesome and exactly solves the problem. I have no opinion on color schemes. Is there a way for the existing continent templates to transclude to this one with the respective continent expanded by default and the other ones hidden? Spıke ¬ 14:05 17-Jul-12

Probably would be a good idea.

On a separate note: I just realized that I left off the entirety of Asia (and Asia is sooo easy to forget, lol I mean liek nobody lives there rite roflbananas). Seeing the template with javascript turned off on my computer (as it usually is), I have to say that is one ridiculously long and ugly template -- even longer and uglier than having a continent navbox AND the {{World Countries}} navbox. So I'm thinking I'll make it so that the appropriate continent is expanded, and then all the other countries are listed in groups, rather than separate navboxes. I'm working on that right now. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngFri, Jul 20 '12 14:44 (UTC)

Walt Disney on VFD

Regarding this comment: Maybe. The impetus behind it was to try and tackle the objection in a civil manner. He/She had been advised previously to add it to VFD, so I figured rather than just remove it - which was my first move - but to add it back and give a rationale behind why it wasn't a relevant VFD nomination. Of course, for my actions I was called an idiot in a grammatically jarring manner, and STUPIDO. Which then lead me to just add him/her to UN:BP. I was working on the assume good grace mentality. I make that mistake fairly often, but I always err on the side of civility where possible. Nominally Humane! 02:35 31 Jul

I like to assume that everybody else is simultaneously a dick and an asshole, and throw doodies at them outright. It seems to get the job done sooner. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Jul 31 '12 8:05 (UTC)
And sadly, you're often accurate. Nominally Humane! 10:28 31 Jul
To provide background, Puppy submitted a nomination of Walt Disney to VFD on behalf of waltdisneyfan999, and I commented, in voting Keep, that "Sometimes an invalid nomination does not beg to be made valid." I commend you on assuming good faith in your dealings with every new user. Nevertheless, not all whims of all new users deserve syntactic correction. The gist of 999's vulgar nomination was that he reveres Walt Disney and that Uncyclopedia should be damned for daring to ridicule him. Separately, a large majority of users voted with you and with me that the article is not deleteworthy. I was not saying that your impulses were incorrect or dishonorable, and am not responsible for the names you got called afterward. I was saying that this particular nomination (the operative word being "Sometimes") ought not to have been made. Spıke ¬ 18:12 31-Jul-12

Quebec City

I appreciate your tweaks, but I have a hard time figuring out why the article was shrunk by 700 bytes or something. Did you delete some sentences? It doesn't seem so, but it's hard to tell when looking at the difference. BTW, I tweaked an unfunny racist joke to a non racist, hopefully funny one and will try to find a good opening pic if I have time (and the mental energy) tonight. 22:35, August 2, 2012 (UTC)

I would not go into someone else's article, delete material outright, and bill the work as a "copy edit." But I reduced verbosity throughout, and a 700-byte total sounds reasonable to me. PS--Although the Search function has been vastly improved, the Diff function still has profound difficulty noticing that paragraphs in two drafts are almost identical. Spıke ¬ 14:04 3-Aug-12

I reread it today with my friends and had a great laugh. Thank you for the additions/tweaks, I think I should propose that we consider this a collab, or else I'd be rude. What say you? Talk Mattsnow 22:01, August 28, 2012 (UTC)

Magnanimous and nice for you to give me credit for helping out. But this is certainly not a collaboration but a substantial copy edit of your material. I don't deserve half a point if it gets featured. Compare Quebec, which is now quite different from the featured edition. Spıke ¬ 16:03 29-Aug-12

I agree that it changed drastically and is a no-brainer for a feature, as it certainly does since it is a lot better than the original thanks to you. (And the original was 14-0 I think) However, I'm quite sure it would set a "precedent". I'm ALL FOR it 100% and you would get that freaking point in the Hall of Shame, which I don't care about anymore and it seems you don't either, great for you. I'm just waiting to see you ask an admin about it, I would support you since it is an extensive change you made, but I don't want it to become the norm. Talk Mattsnow 05:18, September 6, 2012 (UTC)

Paul Ryan

Hi Spike. I noticed there isn't a faux biography of Paul Ryan as yet. Might be possible to create a placeholder article to fill the space as I am sure there will be some unfunny/abuse attempts made between here and November? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:29, September 1, 2012 (UTC)

Yes, I suppose this falls to me. (I would hate to see the result if I leave it to Aleister.) I noticed the red-link in my recent UnNews (on which I thank you in advance for your VFH vote). I am working on it now. Spıke ¬ 23:29 1-Sep-12
First draft is now done. (A journeyman spork of the Wikipedia article.) Because of the abuse attempts you predict, would you please restrict editing to registered users? Spıke ¬ 00:37 2-Sep-12

OK that's not a bad idea Spike. I will do that. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:25, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Gave it a read through. Could be a feature but I would wait to see what Ryan does in the next few weeks. Might be able to add more material. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:49, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Now please delete that talk page you added. While anyone is welcome to edit this article as events unfold, the first draft is not so cursory as to merit your invitation for its complete replacement. Spıke ¬ 13:49 2-Sep-12

Struck through which cancels the comment. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:39, September 2, 2012 (UTC)

Very well, thanks. Though you asked for a "placeholder," the article is somewhat more, though I agree not feature-worthy. My follow-on edit moved one paragraph to a final section on the 2012 Presidential campaign to which people can add stuff as events occur. Spıke ¬ 22:04 2-Sep-12

UnNews:Riots spread across Arabia protesting American cinema‎

[Up with you, man!] Thank you, Mr. Spike, for expertly demonstrating that UnNews' only bias is satire. Excellent work. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 00:31, September 15, 2012 (UTC)

And thank you, Chief, for running it Above the Fold. There has been so much news and commentary, from so many different angles, half of it begging for satire. The F-Troop-style defense of the diplomatic fort lends itself to some vintage Pollyanna reporting (actual bullets for their guns, some day?). It's mostly a ridicule of the Democratic administration, so I managed to work in Romney and even Todd Akin.
In contrast, the best other direction to take this was the double standard between the criticism-ends-at-the-water's-edge view of Romney's remarks and the rhetoric of those same critics when they were Speaking Truth to Bush. Limbaugh and Boston's Howie Carr made sport of this, with file audio, but as I wrote in Forum:Political advocacy, again, I could do nothing with this theme without making it seem as though it could have come from Limbaugh himself. The reader can't laugh when you make him wonder which side you are trying to sell him. Spıke ¬ 09:45 15-Sep-12

UnNews:Romney campaign struggles to recover from "gaffe-filled" luncheon

On the subject of the reader wondering which side one is trying to sell the reader, the only thing we are selling is satire. I know you are just referring to within the context of a single story - the story ought to skewer from a consistent angle - and generally I agree. At least the degree of difficulty is much higher if you are trying to skewer from opposing sides within a single piece, though I don't think it's utterly impossible. But, as I have just affected on the lead articles template, I love the opposing sides next to each other there like that. As I indicated, I think it strengthens our overall presentation - that our bias is satire only - with you here skewering so well from a right-leaning side and the rest of us obamazombies (you know, the smart ones) from the left-leaning. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:14, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Point/counterpoint is a technique that I often used on the Front Page. But you must make clear what you are doing by putting them side-by-side, regardless of relative quality or time already spent on the page. While I do come from the (libertarian) right--and am fed up of listening to endless media analysis about whether Romney is an ogre to admit that welfare recipients won't vote for him--this new UnNews of mine is not defending Romney but ridiculing the press. I was moved to write it after reading your UnNews:Mitt Romney struggling to find more elegant ways to say he is a pandering, mendacious ass. Good of you to make the bias such a caricature that the reader won't view it as advocacy, but bad of you to make it look so little like an actual news story. Spıke ¬ 16:26 19-Sep-12

Obviously I am not as married to the "looks like actual news" principle as you are, though I do like the approach. But I don't think we need to use it to the exclusion of other approaches. Funny is funny, and satire can come from many equally effective methods. To exclude UnNews to this "must look like actual news" principle, I feel, is too limiting. Not that we need to copy The Onion, but just by way of supporting example, they are well-known for not adhering to the "looks like real news" concept. They often use the exact format I used in that article - in fact, I was thinking Onion when I wrote it to be honest. They often use outlandish, charged phrases as though they were fact, the way I tried to here. It brings a point home very effectively I think. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:36, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

You're the Chief. But do put them side-by-side, please. Spıke ¬ 16:39 19-Sep-12

You're right, side-by-side will be much better. I just put them where they are to replace the most stale stories, but it sure looks like I was favoring mine that way, doesn't it? Obviously compensating for my low self-image... --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 16:52, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

I didn't think you were favoring yours, and don't mind that you do. You should probably put mine "on the right," even though that continues the impression. Spıke ¬ 16:57 19-Sep-12


On the topic of UnNews, who was running the UnNews podcast, and why did it die back in March? Nominally Humane! 10:01 15 Sep

Zimulator used to; over a year ago, he tweaked it to make it work right again, apparently assuming that files were named according to rule. I noted that my old stuff was making it onto the podcast but never actually used it to retrieve anything. Spıke ¬ 16:51 15-Sep-12

You gonna mess with me, boy?

You finna gonna get thrown down, acting all uppity with the horrendous vandalism and whatnot. THROWN DOWN.Josuketho.pngThe Hamon Master WeinribJo Joestar of EarthJosuketho.png 16:06, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Vandalism? If you are a fan of Anubis, simply read the article. Spıke ¬ 16:18 19-Sep-12

Er, I was joking. I had the assumption you also were joking. Excuse my mistake. Josuketho.pngThe Hamon Master WeinribJo Joestar of EarthJosuketho.png 16:22, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Was neither joking nor vandalizing; just linking to an article you might like. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 16:28 19-Sep-12

Sorry, not used to things being taken seriously on Uncyc. This is new. I will definitely take a gander at it. Josuketho.pngThe Hamon Master WeinribJo Joestar of EarthJosuketho.png 16:30, September 19, 2012 (UTC)

Vanity Wall

How many articles have you had main page featured Spike? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:18, October 1, 2012 (UTC)

Counting the uses of my {FA} template on my user page, ten. Subtract 1/2 for partial credit for Minor League Baseball and discount Kurdish Military Industries, which I never took credit for. The recent UnNews, my first, would make 9.5. Am I hogging things? If not, the current slough would be an opportune time to nominate our completely ignored Hmor. Spıke ¬ 10:11 1-Oct-12
Hmor. Yes. Good idea. I will stick it on the VFH roster and see what happens. That total of 9.5, that would take you up the table. You know where to go? --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 19:59, October 3, 2012 (UTC)

Talk radio

Man, you weren't kidding. This is a great article, and a real tough one for images. It is a non-visual medium after all, though... --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 18:57, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Yours helped, thanks. The only thing that might improve it would be a celebrity holding up his book--which is his own name--making the host's question stupid in context. But I don't know if such a combination exists. It should be possible to do one for the following section on a couch potato. (None of the photos in Couch potato exactly fits.) I'll Google something the next time I am away from White Fang and somewhere with actual WiFi, but kudos to you if you beat me to it. Spıke ¬ 19:06 2-Nov-12

Lose the one red link and that's a nom. Great work. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 19:39, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

Do you insist? (See the comment in the code. The Royals are a MLB team and ought to have an Uncyclopedia page.) Spıke ¬ 19:41 2-Nov-12
I can help. Lets make kinda go like they were doing good and then towards the end it starts to make the reader know they suck shows how bad they are since like 2000.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 19:51, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
Cannot parse...Are you saying you intend to create Kansas City Royals? Spıke ¬ 19:57 2-Nov-12
I hate them with a passion.--General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 20:04, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

I'm struggling to parse you here, Spike. Are you claiming that a red link should remain in place because a subject should have an article here? If so that goes against my sensibilities and everything I've been taught about red links, which is remove them without prejudice. But now that I think about it, red links do feed those automatic most-wanted articles pages. But now that I think about it again, that's no excuse. If the hill beast is eating forest rodents and the occasional lost child, that's one thing. But you don't put food out for it. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 21:04, November 2, 2012 (UTC)

You parse me correctly. I can't find it, seem to think it was California which did not exist at the time. I delinked it and I think Socky reverted me explaining that the page obviously should exist. At any rate, overtaken by the nomination, for which thanks again. Spıke ¬ 22:28 2-Nov-12
KC is officially created. --General of All Branches of the Military and the Head of the State Police Eric (talk) 22:30, November 2, 2012 (UTC)
That solves the red-link. You already solved another red-link as you advise Kamek below, by pointing it to a file that exists (by way of subversive "translation"). In this case--Air America--I was fond of the red-link, as the point of the paragraph was that Air America was terminally unsuccessful (why, it doesn't even have an Uncyclopedia entry!). I have fleshed out the See Also section and re-added an Air America link, which is red. You might want to do this your way too (as you are fond of consistency), or do yours my way, or do nothing.
I re-captioned two of the illustrations that you did me the favor of adding: One because the original caption needed double-small typography (triple-small if you consider that captions already appear in reduced point size), the other because your caption on the car mechanic was outright derogatory, whereas the tone of the prose is simply to dance around the fact that the audience is simply very peculiar. Spıke ¬ 17:06 3-Nov-12

I get that - good point. Regarding the red link - I actually don't think that joke comes across at all. It would be a good joke if it did, but I doubt any readers will make that association in his or her mind. --AKA The Pretentious Testicle GlobalTourniquetUnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 01:23, November 4, 2012 (UTC)

Dicey either way. The joke is: "Air America (hey, wait, there's nothing there!)"--My way, the reader has to know what a red-link is; your way, the reader doesn't see it at all (except perhaps on the status line) unless he clicks on the link. Spıke ¬ 08:09 4-Nov-12

Donald Trump

I was reading it and LOLed my ass off. It was super well written and helarious. I really dig your new pen! --ShabiDOO 04:57, November 16, 2012 (UTC)

The "outing" of sockpuppets

Just thought I'd bring Forum:Shabidoo = SPIKE to your attention. I think it probably belongs in BHOP, either that, or you have a very successful split personality. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:40, November 22, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the advisory; I am in now with a categorical denial. Indeed there is little in the Village Dump currently that belongs there. Spıke ¬ 12:38 22-Nov-12

Gangnam Style

Thanks. Though a comedian that tries to write a comedy piece might not laugh at all because he already laughed. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 05:29, November 25, 2012 (UTC)

You're welcome. However, if this is about the version of Gangnam Style evolving in your userspace, I didn't expect it to go in that direction. I don't know enough about PSY, the song, or the context to offer additional advice. Good luck. Spıke ¬ 13:18 25-Nov-12

Hang on your horses Spike! I hadn't finished my work yet! If it gets quasi-featured, do not hesistate to renominate again. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 10:15, December 10, 2012 (UTC)

Work's done. If quasi-featured, please still renominate. I'm going to add some more photos. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 10:26, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
It is still on VFH, and still doing fine, with no evidence it was ever un-nominated. Working on an article while on VFH is not an issue. Spıke ¬ 00:44 11-Dec-12

Regarding FA....I asked Modusoperandi about that. I hope he gives me a response. GiratinaOriginForme.png |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill Don't be fooled. I'm an Aussie too. | 04:33, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

à propos of other things...

"Apropos" is an English word, but when I'm feeling hoity and/or toity, I prefer its French parent à propos; when doing so, I put it in italics, to denote its status as a foreign word. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSat, Dec 1 '12 13:15 (UTC)

Yup, I used it years ago, neither italicizing it or accenting it, as I am neither; and Pup or Socky or someone gave me hell. So I copypasted yours. Spıke ¬ 15:00 1-Dec-12

Vaguely speaking

You are awesome. Please don't ever stop being awesome. -— Lyrithya 22:45, December 3, 2012 (UTC)

“Often we assume that, when we say "good job," little Billy knows to what we are referring. Billy might not have a clue. For example, if you exclaim, "Wonderful job" to Billy after he finishes a soccer game....Is it because he tried hard? Is it because he demonstrated good sportsmanship by helping an injured player? Is it because he passed the ball a lot to his teammates? If you are praising Billy in hopes that it encourages him to do more of that action in the next game, he needs to know what you mean”

~, à propos of nothing, recently struck-through by Romartus on Talk:Italy

Spıke ¬ 22:11 8-Dec-12

Gym Basketball

Can you help me expand with this? I am having a little bit of trouble thinking but can you keep the same concept if you do help? I need something to fill in before the Q&A at the end.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 22:15, December 6, 2012 (UTC)

No, I can't save it but still have it be yours. I don't like the concept:
  1. It is fundamentally about how you feel about your class, classmates, and teacher; that is, more vanity unlikely ever to be of general interest. I also don't like that your reaction to being told not to write vanity is to wait one week.
  2. The technique of having the writer of an article bicker with himself (in this case, having the writer of the section heads bicker with the writer of the text) you are using only because you saw Kip do it in Chanupocalypse, and I had problems with it even there. We try to delay consumption of alcoholic beverages until one has learned how to be alive sober; likewise, one should master writing in the style of an encyclopedia article before one flaunts his creativity by breaking the rules.
So go to Uncyclopedia:Requested articles, pick a topic of interest to you, go to its page on Wikipedia, set out the same facts, but get everything wrong. Spıke ¬ 01:47 7-Dec-12

On being funny

Would you nominate and/or give me your opinion on Your cat died? After I made this, User:RAHB showed me the I lost your ferret. I honestly haven't seen the I lost your ferret article until after RAHB showed me.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:33, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, I've been looking up to you and reading your user page. Thanks for mocking me. ("The claim was one of many made, by nominating it for main-page featuring, by a user who wouldn't know a quality article if it bit him.") You could really help out and be nicer to me since I plan to stay here for awhile. If you looked at my Wikipedia articles, you would see I know quality articles. I just don't know how to be completely funny.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:10, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

Ignore SPIKE; he's a very naughty dog. Also, for the record, the two-person narrative in the Chanupocalypse article was inspired by, a hat-tip to, a rip-off of (choose whichever) Jaws did WTC. – Kip > Talk Works Sophia It's Peanut Better Jelly Time!!! Carlton2.gif Rotating Rick Astley.gif derp Sexy Snoo.png Knight of the Order USA! 03:31, Dec. 8, 2012
Oh.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 03:40, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

I (1) will not nominate, and (2) will give you my opinion, although you would not have asked for it if you had read my response in the immediately preceding section. My opinion--reinforced by the new section My Nominations That Have Been Featured on your user page, as though it is some sort of renown to find and nominate work by other people, including mediocre work that other people will repair, in which case it is customary to mention them--is that you intend (even after your three-day ban and two subsequent duds) to continue putting crap onto VFH in hopes of getting merit badges. My core opinion is that you are not here to produce quality content but to manufacture honors for yourself, while mostly publishing your personal diary, and you are egregiously resistant to all advice, so that even learning how to produce quality content will be tediously slow. What you should do is glue on a mustache, go to a bar, and try to pick up women (by telling them all about you), where you will find a 5% success rate immensely more rewarding than you will here. Spıke ¬ 11:25 8-Dec-12

That's the thing, I want to produce quality content here too. I admit, I'm not funny, but I want to learn to be.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 18:49, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
Kamek, I don't believe that anyone can "learn" to be funny. I think you can only write, ask for criticism, plan out your writing, write, more criticism, read others' articles, analyse them, try to see the "why" of the funny, read HTBFANJS once a month, experiment, write, ask for criticism, try not to please anyone while writing, write, re-write, have a specific reason WHY you are writing and why you are writing WHAT you write etc... The great thing about uncyclopedia is that so many users are happy to offer constructive criticism. It's a gift you rarely get anywhere else. --ShabiDOO 21:33, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

It can be learned. For example, in UnNews:Lame-duck House GOP proposes to make gay marriage mandatory, new author Djme13, whether he knows it or not, combines the fact that Republicans are both projecting fear about Obama's tax proposals and privately discussing "strategic retreat" that will make it law, to imagine that Republicans decide to become the sponsors of their worst fears. Just to show him. In The Last Poker on VFH, NoNamesLeft likewise glues together two incompatible ideas so tightly they seemed to be made for each other; whereas in University of Antarctica on VFH, the author has a clever concept but cannot finish his gassy essay so as to make anything flow naturally from it. One can get there with either a flexible mind or through experience in reading humor (and, as you say, thinking about what it is that makes it funny). This is a technical task; the problem is that Kamek has convinced me he is not here to learn any technical task but to excel at the political. Spıke ¬ 21:57 8-Dec-12

Those is fighting words. Kamek...go write something funny! --ShabiDOO 00:01, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm... that's weird. A girl in my grade has recently started saying "those are fighting words"... that can only mean one thing. You... are... RIGHT! Go check my edits on Your cat died and tell me what you think!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:21, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

I respect your anti-humor in reviewing humor

I have noticed that you have been giving a wide range of criticism, satisfactorily constructive and praise that is generally detailed in pointing out the article's distinct points and themes. I like you. I also fear you because it freaks me out as I may be nominating an article of mine for feature soon. But I just wanted to thank you for being such an active critic in VFH. Cheers to you. --POP!GoesTheWeasel Evil-clown.jpg 08:21, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Am sharpening my tongue right now Spıke ¬ 08:53 9-Dec-12

Contrasts in humor

Opinion requested on something of great importance....A friend of mine and I were debating the relative merits of "contrasts" in humor, especially when the contrast is between the uptight and the profane. As an example of this juxtaposition: . Please have a look, and let me know of your opinion. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Dec 9 '12 11:44 (UTC)

I remind you that I am on crummy metered Internet from a distant cell tower, and one thing I do not do is use it to watch television. If I should go to McDonald's today, I'll view this--even though I suspect this is part of the recent epidemic of foisting bathroom humor on strangers who did not ask for it. Spıke ¬ 15:22 9-Dec-12

Oh dear no. It is not bathroom humor. It is two English ladies drinking tea.

P.S. you seem to have missed this.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 10 '12 4:48 (UTC)

I had missed that; it's installed now and the first test was downright snappy. Thanks! Spıke ¬ 07:51 10-Dec-12

Seeing as that actually doesn't work, that would be due to the fact you have javascript turned off in your browser. XD

However, I have come up with an actual remedy. Try this instead:

if ( document.location.href.match( /special:recentchanges|special:watchlist/i ) ) {
	mw.loader.implement( "jquery.makeCollapsible", function() { return $( this ) }, {}, {} );
		//ha-ha! Use your fucking technology against you, mediawiki!
	importScript( "User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/recentchanges.js" );

 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 10 '12 9:58 (UTC)

Also, you must watch that video above; it is only a 1.4 MB download or so. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngMon, Dec 10 '12 10:00 (UTC)

Thank you again. Does your recentchanges.js take the place of your former patrol.js and/or watchgadget.js ? Spıke ¬ 00:44 11-Dec-12

Nope, it's just the hack to fix the slow recentchanges bug. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Dec 11 '12 8:19 (UTC)

OK. In my uncyclopedia.js, I tried to move your other JavaScript files inside the .href.match test. It didn't seem to work, or I ran out of patience at my slow connection. (Does this test really work? Does the argument not require quotes?) I backed this change out, but generally still run with images and JavaScript disabled, which massively reduces the volume transferred, and it's difficult to work RecentChanges. (Am still using your substitution of an image for the "rollback" legend but it's in the custom CSS on my laptop.) Spıke ¬ 14:16 11-Dec-12

You can absolutely move those other "importScript()" statements inside the test above; you probably won't notice any speedup, though, because your browser caches the scripts anyway, so you're not really re-fetching them for every page you visit. The test does really work; the argument indeed does not require quotes, as it is not a string literal but rather a regular expression, which is denoted by the "/"s. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Dec 11 '12 14:48 (UTC)

I recognize that it's a regular expression (presumably with the ability to escape parentheses within it) but it's still astonishing that JavaScript wouldn't require quotes. Your Change Summary (in changing "parameter" to "argument") is intriguing. A long time ago, I tried to persuade a standards committee (as its traveling secretary) to adopt exactly this terminology, as it was potentially useful to have the two words mean those two things respectively, whereas it wasn't useful at all to have two ways to say the same two things. Got nowhere with them; they weren't opposed but just didn't seem to see any point to it. Spıke ¬ 15:12 11-Dec-12

Quotes delimit strings (which are technically objects, since everything in Javascript is essentially an object with properties and methods), while slashes delimit objects -- instances of the RegExp object, to be precise. As for parameters and arguments, and whether or not they're synonymous (as many people treat them) ...most people fry panfish, and use minnows for bait. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngTue, Dec 11 '12 15:25 (UTC)

One-month ban countermanded by Lyrithya

[Replying to a post I moved] Spike is on an involuntary leave of absence (check ban log). --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:00, December 10, 2012 (UTC)

Please see here. -— Lyrithya 23:57, December 10, 2012 (UTC)

Indian food

Illustration added to Kerala on VFH

Lol at the pic, wish I were there. It's not quite Indian, but I make a killer lentils and rice. Would be glad to share the recipe with you, or maybe I'll do an article on it just to go public with the finest lentils and rice known to non-Indians and Indians alike. Damn, you are going FaulknerHemingwayJoyce lately. What happened, did you take a mushroom trip or something? Nice work all around. Al 17:53 11decem12

Thanks. However, as hinted on my user page, I don't do recipes, but packaged food that masks the fact that the bowl is filled with frozen foods and leftovers. Spıke ¬ 18:01 11-Dec-12
I'll do a lentils and rice article then (can I use your pic?), and are you in for a treat if you decide to make it. I usually eat the thing at least three or four times a week, and do a great oatmeal too. I must be hungry. Better sign off and go veggy. Al minutes later


Wanna do a collaboration on my favorite sandwich spread? I moved it into my user space. User:Kamek98/Nutella. If you want to, then do whatever you want. I got to hit the hay.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 02:13, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

What collaboration? you write the first word, I write the rest? Then you nominate it and pat yourself on the back on your userpage? And if I may criticize, the single word on the page is rather predictable, and you didn't move anything anywhere, this article's got no history. Anyway, I don't know the first thing about that stuff, though I did date a Nutella back when I lived outside Detroit. Spıke ¬ 02:34 13-Dec-12
PS--Looking for the same in mainspace, it seems that Frosty deleted it yesterday, with advice to its author (you???) to read the Beginner's Guide and UN:HTBFANJS. You have done, haven't you??? Spıke ¬ 02:51 13-Dec-12

No. I didn't write the deleted version. I saw Frosty deleted it and I decided to rewrite it. I created it, shouldn't have said moved, into my userspace and since I cannot save it without putting text into the box, I wrote Nutella there and was going to work on it today. Also, I had no intention on writing one word and having you do the rest, then nominate it and pat myself on my back. I think you're exaggerating. Spike, I have a hint you want me to go away or something, if I am right?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:22, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

It would be better if you stayed and wrote some good articles. (Then waited for the accolades to occur naturally rather than waited at various users' feet and panted.) Spıke ¬ 20:43 13-Dec-12

Is that what is ticking you off?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:13, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for doing Nutella with me. (I take no claims on it)--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:47, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

You took it in a couple new directions beyond the Wikipedia spork, and found half of the photos. Spıke ¬ 00:51 14-Dec-12

Is that a bad thing?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:54, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Hardly! Sorry for the final revert just now, but you were trying to make this article do more than it does. Spıke ¬ 00:55 14-Dec-12
PS--Also reverted your change to {{Propaganda}}. You might have a use for it, but so did a lot of other people; look at Special:WhatLinksHere/Propaganda to see who the other users are before you commandeer a template. Spıke ¬ 01:01 14-Dec-12

Okay. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:02, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

All right, you've now put more-or-less the same text in the new {{Major Propaganda}}. But I don't see the connection. These are not our best "propaganda" articles, nor even Soviet Communism articles, but a collection of stuff that you have had a hand in (or a finger, as in nominating someone else's work). I guarantee you, a reader of an article that you have had a finger in does not need a template advising him of every other article you have had a finger in. Anyone who cares that much about you will instead go directly to the newly protected User:Kamek98. Spıke ¬ 01:15 14-Dec-12

It's my own little page for me because I love making templates. As I said, I don't know much about propaganda, only that it is about "bad persuasion" or something like that. Only because of a My Chemical Romance article on SING and reading a thing or two about it a few years back.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:23, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

If it's your "own little page," put it in your own little userspace. In public (template) space, it's vanity. Spıke ¬ 01:26 14-Dec-12

Oh yeah, nevermind. I'll move it back, I forgot I can still do it. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Kamek98 (talk • contribs)

You have the power to move it back, but probably not without creating redirects. That is, its former name lives on and redirects to the new name. You need to list the former names on QVFD. Or in the future ask me to do it without creating a redirect; that is one super-power I have here. Spıke ¬ 01:38 14-Dec-12
PS--All of them. Spıke ¬ 01:43 14-Dec-12

I'll save you the time.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:58, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Nevermind! That's assloads!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:59, December 14, 2012 (UTC)
No, you must; and at this point it's no easier for me to do. Spıke ¬ 02:02 14-Dec-12
Hi Eric. It's not good form to start creating your own templates without at least arguing for the necessity of it with an experienced user here (like Spike) or an admin. It's regarded in the same way as someone creating a lot of re-directs and such. Otherwise if everyone started creating their own templates, the site would be overrun in no time. Because of various historical legacies, there are quite a few redundant templates out there already. --Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:20, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, okay I see. I'm sorry.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:12, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Feel free to remove the bit I made on attempts. Just trying to add. However, the first addition to the intro shouldn't really have been removed. Chocolate and hazelnut are no wheres close to being the same. However, Nutella does a fine job at making their hazelnut spread taste and appear as chocolate.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 23:58, January 1, 2013 (UTC)


You voted against Dannyboy1209 because I nommed him? The heck? Dude, why?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:33, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

No! As I said (NotM), I voted against him because he hasn't done anything. I had to revert him again about a half hour ago. His concept of humor is to type personal opinions into articles at appropriate places, and just assume the reader thinks it's as funny as he does. Humor is serious business. Spıke ¬ 00:37 14-Dec-12

Oh, nevermind then. I don't pay attention to him. I just renommed him because he wasn't doing it right. Sorry. --SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:47, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Well, awards mean things; so do nominations, and we ought not do that to the new authors whose work is actually memorable. Spıke ¬ 00:51 14-Dec-12

I see. Sorry for appearing as a begger and kissup to the admins.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:53, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Kissing upto the admins, is probably the sweetest thing you can ever do. Their anger lines are like precious creases in the ocean shore, their ass sweat smells like giant daisys and their man juices taste like Mongolian ant honey. You should try it. Its lovely. --ShabiDOO 14:02, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

Yellow Turban Rebellion

If you could, can you tell me how I did on my new article? Since it is more of a "boring" subject I tried to be goofier than another article should be, but besides that, I wanted to know if you thought it was good. Maybe even tell me a few things I could fix or improve on? If you need some source material: Yellow Turban Rebellion.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 19:31, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

I can tell that it's funny, but am not motivated to read the whole thing, nor does the intro tell me why I care enough to. You are wise to lean on "goofy" when treating such a niche subject. "Consist" in the intro is the wrong word. The paragraph on Section 1 on ripping out one's genitals doesn't help anything except zeal to talk about genitals to strangers. Consider whether you are overusing the technique of having certain passages be ridiculously long, especially in an article that is ridiculously long. I have been "in" Grand Rapids, Michigan. Spıke ¬ 19:40 16-Dec-12
PS--Part of the problem is your use of the techniques of uncertainty and digression in the intro. They are funny, but here all your energies must be focused on hooking the reader. Spıke ¬ 19:42 16-Dec-12

Okay, I'll edit some on it. Thanks!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 20:35, December 16, 2012 (UTC)

Halled in shame

Congrats on all the features. By my count you and TKF are tied for the most features in 2012 with 15 1/2, and thus may receive my unoffical Pegasus award (see my awards page for a preview of what you may or may not receive). My count may be wrong though, as it's hard to tell on your Hall of Shame entry. Everyone else lists their features in chronological order. You, still at an anal level (which explains your politics), list them alphabetically. So the ascertainment of the award's recipient must be computed come January 1. Be prepared though, as the anal boy scouts handbook says. Nice work. Aleister 13:35 19decemb12

It's not clear which of us is being more anal, but the date of featuring is listed on my user page. However, so soon after being banned for a month on a lark, how nice of you to involve me in a pissing contest. Spıke ¬ 13:44 19-Dec-12
You involved yourself, mister, by writing like the dickens (dick joke). Yeah, listed on your user page in tiny little numbers. And if you polish up the Kochs and get a couple more votes, who knows what glory awaits you. And I was gone for the most part of seven months, and still came close to tying you guys. But like I told TKF last year, it's a game of inches. Pegasus! (I still haven't counted to give the Pegasus award winners from 2005 to 2009, although I have some ideas who won a couple of those years. I should get on that research, yep. Aleister 13:50 same day
p.s. Savethemooses won in 2005 with 12, and Hardwick Fungleberry in '006 with 12 (maybe more, I have to double-check). So I don't know who won from '007-'009 (Al, a few hours later)

Shirley Phelps-Roper on VFD

I feel the Shirley Phelps-Roper page is far enough along now to ask you to take another look. And I'll keep working on it, I just wrote some stuff on there I really like. Thanks. Aleister 17:12 20daysindecember12

But, by your own metric: If the page survives, don't the lefties win??? Spıke ¬ 21:12 20-Dec-12
The lefties always win, long term. Haven't you noticed? But now that marijuana prohibition is slowly going the worldwide way of the dodo, and gay's are marrying their dogs, the big one left is to restore and save the damn environment. That may take as long as the prohibition lasted, but it's inevitable and just has to be played out. I probably have more conservative blood in me than you think, a second amendment guy (except for the hunting part, which has nothing to do with the second amendment), some economic conservatism, and other things. But the issues I find interesting and freedom-enhancing are doing fairly well right now. The union thing has a flow to it, I think what will happen with the Republican's overreach is that everyone will go back to form one big union, which was the whole idea in the first place. That's one I'll watch for. That Westboro Baptist Church is full of people who like the adrenaline rush of being assholes and have everyone hate them for it. Hmmmmmm, I should pop in a YouTube thing of Phelps talking, with a page-appropriate caption. She's a hard woman to please. Al 21:33 20decemb12

Have some cake.

Because you've been helpful.--Sylvirfoxx (talk) 22:55, December 21, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the ice cream.

Irish women

Hi Spike. I know this article isn't looking the best (hence my fix tags) but I would prefer the author to be given the chance to improve it himself.--Laurels.gifRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 23:43, December 22, 2012 (UTC)

I concur! Don't know who listed it on QVFD, but mine is the note on the next line down that I was trying to work with the guy. RAHB deleted his first upload of this article, though, and when he copped an attitude with me on his talk page, I listed him on Ban Patrol. I have no problem with the way you're dealing with it, but he needs to learn stuff fast; his rant still isn't funny, and his new See Also is interminable, and also not funny. Spıke ¬ 00:09 23-Dec-12

Kerala and other features

Nice waiting until the last minute, a la Romartus. This is why I think there should be a two-week rule on nominating articles for specific holidays. Although Auld Lang Syne has spit in my face with the cruelest of ironies.

Also, SPIKE himself said that my holiday articles would be a bummer to read on Christmas Day. On that note...
Gelt.jpg Kip the Dip has given you some gelt!
Congrats on the feature! Personally, I thought the entire article went downhill after the Dezi Arnez pun.
Also, I was going to give you a candy cane, but there isn't any.

Handwritten font

If you could take a moment to look here, User:Kamek98/Month Calender, how would I make the table have maybe a more handwritten font?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:08, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Use a DIV with style="font-family: Script, cursive". Script is a handwritten font that is usually installed on WinXP and up. "cursive" says to fall back by matching any handwritten font that is installed. Example edit in place. Spıke ¬ 02:51 28-Dec-12
Okay, thanks.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 03:01, December 28, 2012 (UTC)

Can you give me your opinion?

I'm doing a page in my userspace that is going to make fun of the alternative rock band PANIC! at the Disco. Located here. However, I wanted to know how my introduction is going. More importantly, if it would be better to say, "My friends, let me tell you about my panic at the disco" rather than "My friends, let me tell you about my PANIC! at the Disco."

I'm looking to make fun of the band like the page My Chemical Romance was made fun of. Instead of it being about the band it is literally a story of someone who had a relationship with a chemical. So PANIC! at the Disco was going to be about a guy who panicked while he was at a disco.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 18:44, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

My opinion is that that would be a pun. Spıke ¬ 21:49 29-Dec-12


Rule 6: Don't remove anything from VFD unless you're one of the sprouts. Rule 7: Don't lecture other people in a deeply condescending way when you're the one who has fucked-up. --mAttlobster. (hello) 00:15, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Both of us made a mistake, but your point is taken. Spıke ¬ 00:22 30-Dec-12

Fake Pegasus Award

SPIKE, you are the unproud recipient of the Fake Pegasus Award for the most features of 2012. With your 18.5 features you've earned every beat of Pegasus' wings. Congratulations! I've added your name to the list of winners at the bottom of my awards page, and will soon make a separate page for this unprestigious award. Aleister 14:37 27 December 2012

Fake Pegasus Award for most featured articles of the year: 2012
Sniff! don't know what to say.... Spıke ¬ 02:51 28-Dec-12

I finally got around to filling in the whole "chart", thought you may want to see it. You are in distinquished company, at least during the first five years. Aleister 13:11 30december'12

Fake Pegasus Award winners:

Look at those totals by year--a phenomenon known in aviation as a "ground loop." Spıke ¬ 13:16 30-Dec-12


Hey. When we revamped this we had a forum discussion thingy about the purpose of the award and the voting and one of the things we stated was that we didn't want to have "against" votes - especially as we have allowed the potential of "for" votes for multiple n00bs. I think there's a link to the relevant forum in the talk page there somewhere, but I couldn't be arsed looking for it. Anyway, stuff. Nominally Humane! 11:42 03 Jan

Welcome messages

Can I, please, welcome new people to Uncyclopedia? And if I can, can I take the message you normally send out, edit it and use it? Anton (talk) 19:11, 5 July 2013 (UTC)

I don't think he's ever edited or logged into this uncyclopedia. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Proudly bogan 23:40, 5 July 2013 (UTC)

Whoops, sorry, I am on the wrong uncyc now. Anton (talk) 06:45, 6 July 2013 (UTC)

SPIKE does not exist here to the luck of myself. Chaoarren (talk) 19:27, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

No, and luckily neither does Censorship. But if you sockpuppet here, the same thing will happen. Maybe more gradually, but it will eventually happen. Use this opportunity to improve your writing skills, since without good writing the community eventually gets bored and goes elsewhere. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:34, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

It's beginning to look a lot like…

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021


Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 14:38, 13 December 2021