From today's featured article
The Hillyard & Brickman Corporation is a dynamic young company founded in 2002 with one central goal for the 20th century: Excellence through Synergy, and Capital through Innovation™. Leading the field in cutting edge market endeavors that enhance consumerism and inversely decrease domestic quality of life, mankind is already benefiting greatly from the ingenuity and completely ethical practices of the company that employees affectionately refer to as "The Company." Several prominent, prestigious and highly televised media outlets have even suggested that Hillyard & Brickman is in fact one of the world's most global leaders, internationally championing production of net happiness for all consumers great and small, and greatly streamlining the subsequent distribution of said product to all ports of call. In simple terms, Hillyard & Brickman is a company that works for you.
In 1989, CEO James McBowlstrum had a vision; a vision of ethical business practices, bolstered by a commitment to quality and an emphasis on bold, groundbreaking networks of communication. Founded in the quaint downtown area of scenic Maple Streams, Mr. McBowlstrum built the Hillyard & Brickman Corporation from the ground up, often with his bare hands. In 13 years' time, James McBowlstrum constructed the most solid structural basis for a company of compassion that the world has ever known. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
- ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
- ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away?
- ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
In the news
- Epstein didn't kill himself, says Kotter
- Democrats blame 50,000,000 Americans for voting the wrong way in 2016
- Eddie Van Halen: Who's Billie Eilish?
- Dragnet reboot, Black Friday, debuts Friday (Pictured)
- James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead
- UnNews will now only write about sports
- Comcast moves TCM to sports package
- Mick Mulvaney admits quid pro quo
- Stanley Kubrick resurrected, asked his opinion on Marvel movies
- Joe Biden's plan for black people
- Sam Smith's family thank fans
- UnNews remembers Lord Zedd
- New Apple Watch to tell the time
- Boxcar Bertha to be Scorsese's shortest movie ever
- Forest animals seen singing, dancing after death of David Koch
On this day
- 10000 BC - Ug Nug Fug Nug is born, the famous musician responsible for the creation of the violin and other various sexually orentated musical instruments (ie the sexualin).
- 1067 - William the Conqueror invades the previously uninvaded British Aisles.
- 1732 - The Royal Opera House opens at Covent Garden, London. Screaming bitches heard from miles around, causes widespread riots.
- 1808 - Count Henrich von Flammenweffer invents Lava as a way of preventing skiers from taking over his favourite mountains in the winter.
- 1939 - Adolf Hitler invents oral sex and asks his enemies to blow him.
- 1940 - The French blow Adolf Hitler.
- 1942 - No people born on December the 13th, due to National No-Birthdays day. Experts attribute this phenomenon as having to do with a worldwide feeling of "I don't feel like getting any ass today" in mid March.
- 1992 - Bob like pie
- 1992 - Someone actually ate my shorts.
- 2002 - Fraidai the 13th, Satan renamed Hell to "Bloody Hell"
- 2003 - Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein found hiding in a camel hole during Operation Bomb-The-Towel-Headed-Sand-Brigand, and captured.
- 2003 - SARS becomes the new iPod.
- 2005 - On the twelfth day of Christmas, My true love gave to me, A summons from the local JP...
- 2008 - Uncyclopedia was teleported into an alternate universe where this sentence did not exist. It was returned to normal just now.
- 2012 - Dyslexic people celebrate that the world didn't end with the Mayan calendar yesterday. Everyone else still nervous.
- Today - That guy realizes that this is the only one about him even though it's his day and gets really really mad.
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