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35,546 articles in English

From today's featured article

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The Westboro Baptist Church is the lone bastion of reason and morality in a world gone mad. Logically, it is located in Topeka, Kansas, home to intelligent design and the rock supergroup of the same name. The Church, which is rumored to have in excess of twelve members and growing by no less than none every year, is headed by misunderstood idiot-savant and knight-errant of goodness Fred Phelps, attorney-at-law.

Under Phelps' utterly creative, sometimes incendiary, and always visionary leadership, the Westboro Baptist Church has successfully drawn the ire of pretty much everyone in the world. It has achieved this well-thought-out and beneficial aim by rejoicing for natural disasters, the spread of disease, and other afflictions on humankind that are generally regarded by the rest of the world as a time for compassion and mourning. Ironically, due to its obsession with celebrating misery, the Church has itself in recent years invited what it considers unwelcome attention to its activities, including vicious beatings of its members, intermittent showerings of its compound with pig feces, and yet more vicious beatings of its members. (Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
  • ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
  • ... the muffin man?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
  • ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?

In the news

UnNews remembers Lord Zedd
Zedd's dead, baby. Zedd's dead.

On this day

Autumnal Unquinox.png

September 22: Autumnal Unquinox

  • 1465 - Aztec tourists discover autumn in the resort town of Equinox, Vermont.
  • 1785 - Britain fails to recognise this day any longer, after realising that "the weather's always crap, every bloody day!"
  • 1867 - New Englanders genetically modify trees to change colors in autumn, as part of a plan to lure Southern tourists back North after the Civil War. The plan fails when the first Southern tourists complain about the integration of colored trees with non-colored trees.
  • 1960 - Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham is first published, provoking the law that Best Before Date stickers are to be put on all eggs and ham. This law was later extended to include all perishable food items and Michael Jackson's career.
  • 2001 - The Federal Communications Commission places largely ignored ban on the use of Fall as a synonym for Autumn, citing complaints by family members of September 11 victims.

Today's featured picture

Falstrop's Amazing Kitten Huffing Device
Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image credit: Sannse
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 35,546 articles. Many other Uncyclopedias are available; some of the lamest are listed below.