User:SPIKE/Cliches-1
The following advice to writers is not a consensus of Uncyclopedia editors. It was discussed during October, 2009.
The simple indicative mood is authoritative. Using extra words to make an article more authoritative--or so that it reads like an encyclopedia--only makes it longer and harder to read. (None of us here is paid by page count.) Please reconsider if you start a sentence with a cliché such as:
- It is generally agreed that...
- Scientists have determined that...
- A majority of those polled believe that...
If this were a real encyclopedia, you would have to provide citations for the above. (Which scientists?) You don't have to do so here; and any citations you do give might be deleted for the sake of humor. So just make your statement; don't start by giving the reason why it's true. (Besides, telling the reader how to interpret a fact, even before you state it, should be reserved for kids who have always been told how smart they are. Forgive me if you are one--but there's still time to learn.)
Likewise, avoid starting a sentence with "Contrary to public opinion...." especially if your motive is to adhere to what you believe is the correct form. State what you want to state; ask yourself if it is funny; then ask yourself whether it really adds anything to state that everyone believes otherwise. A fact that is obviously in conflict with widespread opinion may be funny on that basis--but saying so may diminish the joke by explaining it.