User:SPIKE/2011

Articles I edited

Work

Just want to say I really enjoyed the article. Cheers! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 04:45, Jan

Thank you for saying so! The material following Section 1 was there originally; it's out of character with the new stuff but remains to acknowledge the people who came before. However, the description of First World through Third World went on and on (to Eighth World, I think) and that had to go. Spıke ¬  11:08 3-Jan-10

Saves from VFD

Port

You nominated this as a "stupid stub." Without claiming that User:SPIKE/Port is no longer stupid, it is clearly no longer a stub, so would you flip to Keep so I can get a Save? Thanks. Spıke ¬  22:07 4-Dec-09

Ah, sorry. I haven't been to vfd in a while, but I like your revision. I'll change my vote to keep. :) —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!)

Thanks! Spıke ¬  22:55 4-Dec-09

Peter Pan

User:SPIKE/Peter Pan corrects the problems in your original nomination. Please reconsider your vote if you find it keepable. Spıke ¬  11:35 14-Dec-09

It's very hard to satisfy my sadistic urge to delete crappy articles when you keep rewriting them! —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 02:56, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Doing so is why I haunt VFD. There's a list of saves on my user page. Spıke ¬  03:23 15-Dec-09

Well, you're doing a good job. Keep it up! —fj0j3ddjoaw;rfjaew (r30qjd) 03:29, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Recognition that you're doing well what you're trying to do is the Hall of Fame! Thank you. Spıke ¬  12:57 15-Dec-09

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I think it needs a rewrite - sans Cliff Richard especially. I do like the Wendy idea as a co-singer/artist. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:45, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

The line that "Peter Pan is the Cliff Richard of fairy tales" is a cute rendition of Cliff Richard being called the Peter Pan of music. And the music-maker section is a hook to mistake Captain Hook for rocker Doctor Hook. But the stuff on conversion to Christianity is expendable. Now, in what programming language do you type spaces before commas and periods? And why don't you change your VFD vote and let us get this into mainspace before you hack it to bits? Spıke ¬  14:53 15-Dec-09

OK..I will change vote as suggested. Someone else complained about me doing this. I guess it is legacy from writing out stories in biro etc. before the internet. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:25, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. I've made a pass through the first paragraph of "Youth" to tighten up the wording. Later, I'd like to move the Internet joke lower and keep the intro short. What's biro? Spıke ¬  15:29 15-Dec-09

A biro is another name we use in the UK for a ballpoint pen. Named after a Mr Lazlo Biro . --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:21, December 23, 2009 (UTC)

St. Clairsville, Ohio

Sure, the quotes should go. I was thinking we could make this page into the best-of-the-best of generic small town pages (although I like your real life material too), work on it for a week or two, and then nom it for feature so it has some exposure (nobody will ever read it again if we just left it and went away). What do you think, with our mix of your stern seriousness and my put the principal in a lizard suit and march him down to the creek. we can come up with a very good page. Aleister 18:36 25 6 MMX

Went to Category:Ohio, found nearby Nordonia, and listed it on VFD straight away. Haven't examined the articles on Cleveland, Cincinnati, or Columbus. (Long-time National Lampoon fans want an article on Dacron, Ohio, though it breaks the Encyclopedia Canon to crack wise with the article name.) I found your addition of a couple hours ago too deadpan and minced some words. Am claiming half a save. As always, feel free to play more, and I'll come in and copy-edit. If I care that anyone ever read it, I write an UnNews instead. Spıke ¬ 21:50 25-Jun-10

LeBron James

You have bowled me over yet again. I bow to your awesomeness.

And no, I'm not going to explain. Probably. ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:09 (UTC)

Or even fix your sound card??? Spıke ¬ 16:11 27-Oct-10

I'll do that later. *shifty eyes* ~ Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20101027 - 16:14 (UTC)

Mr. Sulu

I just saw and read what you did with Sulu. Congrats! A page that not only works well but on an important personality. Very nice. Aleister 1:04 22 10

Thanks! There is now also an audio. Spıke ¬ 01:06 22-Oct-10

I've been absent as of late, so I was unaware of the outcome of the Mr. Sulu VFD vote. I'd like to compliment you on the excellent rewrite. Now this is the Star Trek article I expect to read! \\ //_ Live Long and Prosper. -- Thankful Kippy Share blessings Bountiful harvest 09:30, Oct. 28, 2010

Helen Hunt

I think I saved Helen Hunt. HowTo:Enhance a one-page dirty joke. Aleister 13:56 28 12

I made the intro more subtle. Needs one more photo. Section 1 needs rewording to clearly refer to, but never use, the word "cunt." This is not junior high school (though I can't speak for you).

The comedy theme that so-and-so is a slut or acts in porno, apropos of nothing in this case, is a typical way that kids wrote articles in 2005. Your rework has almost differentiated itself from this crowd through good writing. Spıke ¬ 14:10 28-Dec-10

Cunt be gone now, replaced with it's Native American form (not a well known fact, but iz true!). Did a little tweek to your intro which read a little bit stiff, but it made me laugh. I linked Golden Globes for the weak-of-mind. And I'll search for another photo. Helen "Cunt", ha ha hehahaheeheehee coughgagspit hahahahaheeheehee.Aleister 14:24 28 12

I did know that fact, Beavis (or is it Butthead?) but have proposed an alternative start for Section 1--during which I almost decided that the notion that her surname was obscene (again, apropos of nothing) is discardable. Spıke ¬ 14:30 28-Dec-10

No, no, a thousand times no, you took all the fun out of that section. On this one you may be showing some kind of puritan preference, because the page is less funny with all of that taken out. So please talk to your minister, show him the two versions, and see which one he laughs at before forgetting himself and putting the stern face back on. I'm leaving the site now, I quit, and will write a forum about my reasons why, or I may just go and eat now, which sounds better actually. Ummmmmm, food. Aleister 14:35 28 12

I sort of feel bad about nominiating the thing now: I just didn't laugh and thought it was crap. Especially the genitalia references. And PLEASE DON'T GO, MR A!!! You're one of the things that makes life tolerable! Well, almost tolerable. I've no idea where this article is supposed to go in terms of comedy, but as you see I'm wrong about plenty of things. Myocardialinfarction 18:29, December 28, 2010 (UTC)

Too many people loudly announcing their departure and return in the Forum. I'm sure Aleister isn't gone for good but merely packing up the stuff in his attic to "return" to the shops as Christmas presents that "didn't fit." Spıke ¬ 18:36 28-Dec-10

How was I to know that strap-on was inappropriate? I couldn't take measurements without ruining the surprise. Myocardialinfarction 18:50, December 28, 2010 (UTC)

Do people measure... naw, forget it. Spıke ¬ 18:54 28-Dec-10

WTF? Myocardialinfarction, I had no intention of leaving, I was playing with SPIKE about him taking out the best part of the page and satirizing what other people have done recently, left in a huff, which was a joke and I thought it was understandable in my comment. But, jeez, thanks for the compliment, its like attending my own funeral and hearing someone say something nice about me. Jees. At it was a good section, even with cunt, and I did take that out per SPIKE's idea. Cake! Aleister 19:17 28 12

John Boehner

So, I, like, totally forgot to cancel the review request when you rewrote that, you remember, no? And what do you know, someone reviewed it. So... think you can use it? Does that look useful? Etc? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101116 - 02:31 (UTC)

Okay, I'll get to it. Thanks. Spıke ¬ 02:33 16-Nov-10

• beams* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101116 - 02:40 (UTC)

This is going to be difficult. People have different senses of humor, as we've seen recently on VFH, and Dare Devil's and mine are opposite. He doesn't like my weaving sobbing into Parliamentary lingo, and he'd like it if I made Boehner's orangeness a major theme, and wrote about how the article should talk about "an emotional victory for orange persons and animals." I would never do that. It would be Randumbo in an article of interest to people who know, or are studying, US politics. But I'll thank him for the review and use as much of it as I can. 02:47 Have now done so. Spıke ¬ 03:07 16-Nov-10

Perhaps I should have a chat with him about how reviews are more... er... um. Feh. I think I'll hide into a corner until Chief sorts this one out. *shifty eyes* ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101116 - 03:22 (UTC)

I've sent a response to Dare Devil. There should be nothing for the Chief to sort. Spıke ¬ 03:26 16-Nov-10

Well, I also mean the maintenance on the pee review end... Chief does most of that. And sometimes I try talking to folks as a supposed reviewist myself and give pointers and whatnot in the hopes that they might do more, better ones in the future... HELPME did such a better job of it, though. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101116 - 04:23 (UTC)

This is an insult to my inteleigents

lol Hi. Howya do'n? :D --Delphisylk 23:08, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Um, what is an insult? Me? Uncyclopedia at large? Something I have written? Do I know you? Spıke ¬ 23:10 22-Nov-10

You didn't get the inside joke, huh? -__- I said that to unitentionally represent that I was literally insulting my own intelligence by spelling "intelligent" wrong. Err I know it's a lame joke, but I tried. I'm new to this site... >_> --Delphisylk 23:19, November 22, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I got that--otherwise, I would have corrected the spelling--just went on to ask what brought it on. Spıke ¬ 23:22 22-Nov-10

Sorry for the terrible article

I realise my Unnews article is terrible, If you can, or know someone who can, PLEASE DELETE my article. It was my first article and it should had been done in a sandbox. - Another n00b 21:32, November 23, 2010 (UTC)

I am not an Admin and cannot delete anything. ChiefjusticeDS, whom you contacted, is and can. One minute before your message, I replied to your message to him, with an offer of assistance on your next try. By the way, add new stuff to the END of my talk page, please! Spıke ¬ 21:34 23-Nov-10

PS--We have a Style Guide at UnNews:Style, which explains stuff such as finish your draft before you stick it on the Front Page. Spıke ¬ 21:36 23-Nov-10

Lyrithya thinks I'm a reporter?

I just realised... you are a reporter! It all makes sense, now. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 00:19 (UTC)

Sez who??? Spıke ¬ 00:43 28-Nov-10

Er... I dunno. Feh, I suppose I got that wrong? Dammit, and it all fit so well... it all started fitting into place, the puzzle as a whole, and all the little pieces, finally making sense... it would have explained everything.

Except it was wrong. Convenient answers always are, though... they always are... ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 00:48 (UTC)

---

I keep bothering you, don't I? Always bothering folks, never anything to say... or at least, that's what it seems like sometimes. Anyway, I should thank you for all sorts of vague and unspecific things. So for all those things you keep doing - thank you. Cheers. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 15:26 (UTC)

You may always bother me with a bit of weekend pleasantness. I did not indeed honor your request on IRC last night and vote for Special:RecentChanges on VFH, but did nominate an UnNews (as Zim ulator would do if he were still active), and thanks for supporting that.

Also thanks for supporting Romartus in the Forum when he was sworn at. Actually, both of those two should stick to the topic of that forum--whether there should be some further attempt to define a style of humor--and not the more controversial underlying topic of what's funny and what isn't.

And no, I don't mind the vagueness; except only when you criticize one of my articles and won't give me the details so I can improve it. Spıke ¬ 15:35 28-Nov-10

There is of course no need to do anything around here if you don't want to, of course... but I am glad you did bother to go through those other articles and VFD one, even though it did utterly fail. I mean, it was worth a try. Meh.

Me, I'll support what I feel like supporting. Sort of like... eh. And folks being an arse to Romartus, that's just assery. He's a damn fine fellow, really... doesn't deserve that. Ruddy shame.

SPIKE, if I don't give details, er... well, probably has something to do with bad memory. I blame bad memory. What? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101128 - 18:53 (UTC)

Still...

...Need a beat-up Obama? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 16:00 (UTC)

Sure, if you'd like to try your hand. When Composure1 first filed his UnNews on WikiLeaks and Obama's birth, he didn't use a photo at all, so I supplied Obama1.jpg. He took it upon himself to edit the Front Page--replacing my Obama story!--but mine wasn't at the bottom of the pile yet, so I ran two Obama stories side-by-side with the same photo.

When I made my request on IRC, I wanted there to be the same photo, but the one on the left having stitches and Band-Aids, as my story mentions at the end the basketball accident. Later, I noticed that Composure1 once uploaded a photo of Obama with a basketball, which is the photo I'm using now.

I don't doubt--given the North Korean provocation and the fact that it has worked like a charm under the previous Democratic president AND the previous Republican president, Obama will keep getting pushed around, and relating it to the thrown elbow at basketball will continue to be fun. Spıke ¬ 16:16 29-Nov-10

By the way, one minute after my request on IRC, my Internetz went down for the night. The morning paper, of which I'm not the editor, says that all of coastal New Hampshire, and some other places on the East coast, lost the Comcast DNS server. Spıke ¬ 16:16 29-Nov-10

I'll get on that soon as I get a chance, then - how long do I have before it ceases to matter? Although this whole real events thing, let alone applying whatnots to it, is a complete mystery to me. Complete mystery.

And that's just odd, you're not the editor? Are you sure? But seriously, even if the DNS server goes down, can't you just use IPs and connect to a different server? Eh... oh well. Why would it die at all? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 16:47 (UTC)

The side-by-side feature won't last for more than a day. Newspaper readers replied on-line with instructions on how to specify Google's or HP's DNS server. If we had known, if we had known what the problem was. Why it would die at all is because Comcast is a government-protected monopoly. It's illegal to wire up people for cable in New Hampshire without a municipal permit (usually read to be an exclusive license, and accompanied by bribes to the town such as a free broadcast studio at town hall). Spıke ¬ 17:09 29-Nov-10

Hmm... I may not get to that, then. Oh well, has something, anyhow. And I think I was planning to spend the day pretending I'm banned... hells, I can't even give myself an autoblock because of all the dynamic IPs here, how silly is that? Feh. I can pretend. I guess.

Eh, but if it's just the DNS, it's easy to check if IPs still work. Don't you check if IPs still work when you seemingly lose connection? Or am I just weird? Governments sure are weird... bloody weirdos, ruining everything with their weird. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101129 - 17:45 (UTC)

Let's bother User:SPIKE some more... feature, anyone?

Yeah, so... Fuck ChiefjusticeDS appears to have been featured, and you kind of contributed. Something about writing the entire bloody ending, or something. While somehow I doubt the actual quality of the writing had anything to do with it being featured (since for the most part it's pretty bad, at least what I wrote)... apparently people really do just hate Chief... whoops. Your contribution is nonetheless notable and I think that qualifies as part of a feature credit, no? Mind, I have no idea how that works, or why people even care... and in these circumstances, it might not even be something with which to want to be associated. I know I've spent the day in hiding, anyway.

So ...yeah. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 16:26 (UTC)

Finally done by Zombiebaron.

Imagine how far along you could be at putting stitches and Band-Aids on Obama's portrait by now! Thank you for the informal honor, but one secret to my happiness is to spend no time worrying about what's on the main page and whether Uncyclopedia's collective identity does or doesn't reflect favorably on my own, preferring to stay down in the boiler room of One Wikia Place, do audios, and do emergency remedial work on articles. Besides, that work was a favor, not really a project. Spıke ¬ 16:58 30-Nov-10

How far? I just got up. I wouldn't be very far. Ugh, maybe I should go back to bed. Again.

And for the record, I'm more worried about admins coming after me for rigging the queue or something, than anything else. >.<

And thank you for that. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101130 - 17:18 (UTC)

You pinged?

What did you want to say on IRC, then? ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101201 - 03:06 (UTC)

Just thanks, which I said on your talk page. I'll drop back in now for maybe an hour. Spıke ¬ 03:08 1-Dec-10

My signature

I've never come to you with a xserious complaint before. The new sig. Official Toilet symbols seem to be reserved here for pee review people and awards, and that's why I suggested the pic to Chief on his page. The microphone symbol means something, and pee reviewers symbols mean something else, or am I wrong in my non-reviewer noobness? Okay, end of seriousness. Clowns and sawdust, Aleister 4:07 1 12

I'll revert. The image in that space has been several things, including an (unreadable) New Hampshire highway token. Spıke ¬ 09:53 1-Dec-10

Ah, I was just being an asshole when I wrote that. I don't even do pee reviews, and here I am trying to "protect" their symbol. Down with all symbols, burn all flags, and tear your money in half. Except for the coins, hard to tear the coins in half. An audio request, that you do an audio for Stub. That would be funny, in an ironic way. Maybe next time you're on the audio machine. But if you do it, let's look at the wording again, to make sure it's the most concise it can be. I'm just rambling now. Aleister 1:16 2 12

---

I noticed that you and a few other users seem to have it so your signature automatically makes the timestamp <small>, I have looked through preferences and everywhere else trying to find out how to do that, but cannot.

Do you mind sharing how you do this?

Thanks → I am greatSoup? 22:03, December 16, 2010 (UTC)

You can obviously see the file that contains the code to do my signature. The trick is that it contains templates that compute the date and time and not only make it small but put it in the format I prefer. The other trick is that, once you mimic this, you sign your messages with only three tildes, relying on your /sig file, rather than the fourth tilde, to supply the timestamp. Spıke ¬ 22:06 16-Dec-10

Unfortunately, when I posted before, I had had a moment of stupidity... The first thing I tried to do was look at your signature's page, but I had tried going to "User:SPIKE/sig" and didn't think to actually look at the source of a page you have signed to see what the actual page was.

Ah, I see what you did there. Now I realize that I have seen those timestamp templates when I had been looking into the wiki markup a while ago...

Thanks → I am greatSoup? 22:34, December 16, 2010 (UTC)

"TThunder" registers, then promptly edits "NXWave" into the awards pages

begun at User talk:Lyrithya

if you check the history, you'll see that NXWave did win those 2 awards.--Tthunder 02:21, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

NXWave had his awards revoked. He was found out to be sockpuppet of a previous vandal, and then went on to have even MORE sockpuppets. He is no longer officially recognized as a member and had all of his accounts and IPs banned. --Roman Dog Bird 02:37, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

is there an uncyclopedian policy, if a user is a sockpuppet they have their awards revoked? --Tthunder 02:47, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's more so that that this particular guy was such a severe case I think. I'll try to find the topic on him just to show you how bad it got. --Roman Dog Bird 02:49, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

See, there is a policy that if a person is a general asshat and pisses off enough admins, said admins can make up further policy as they go... or some such. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) • (stalk) -- 20101202 - 02:50 (UTC)

OK i understand. thanks for being civil about this roman dog bird, unlike some other user (i'm talking about you, spike). --Tthunder 02:54, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

It got bad, I've been reading the history. But this does seem kind of communist Russia write-him-out-of-historey. He won in December of '007 and was stripped of the award in March of '008. Maybe, just maybe, enough time has passed to at least put his original name as the winner (or the sockpuppet name he won it under?). But again, I am not an admin and am playing what-if games here. Good luck, and maybe do a please on your knees to Mordillo and . . .maybe. I dunno. Aleister 2:54 2 12

Here. --Roman Dog Bird 02:59, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

but should he still be allowed to have his award? should i make a forum about this? --Tthunder 03:03, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

That was a really interesting read, I must read it closer soon. Didn't see anything about removing the awards in there though, unless I missed it. Hopefully he can get them back somehow, and, if it is you tthunder or lightning or whatever, get on your knees and beg, beg like a dog, ha ha ha ha. Aleister 3:07 2 12

p.s. Are you sticking to the he like a lawyer would tell you to? That "you" are "he"? If so, I guess you shouldn't answer that, should you. You have the right to remain silent. . .

There isn't necessarily anything about him having his awards taken away in there, I just figured it was relevant. Ask Mordillo about it or whoever else, I had just returned to the site myself when this went down so I'm not fully knowledgable of the whole ordeal. --Roman Dog Bird 03:14, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

As I enjoy history, that was a great post of an interesting forum. Mr. tThunder, maybe you can please state your case in the King's English to Mordillo, maybe post a copy here, and we will pop some popcorn and see what happens. Aleister 3:18 2 12

Maybe we can blank any page created by NXWave and give his revoked award to me? I have no awards, and it's pissing me off! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill | 04:49, December 2, 2010 (UTC)

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Good morning. Aleister, restoring his award is one thing, and is before my time and above my pay grade and yours. On the other hand, Tthunder, immediately upon registering, went straight to the award pages, where he did it himself. Like King Joseph, that pissed me off from the beginning and I took it straight to Ban Patrol.

Yes, Tthunder, restoring the awards of someone who got them stripped for (among other things) being a sockpuppet, suggests that you are also a sockpuppet; enough fake indignation. I deleted your first contribution from this page because it was a repeat of a comment on User talk:Lyrithya. I don't take lessons in civility from a vandal. Spıke ¬ 11:23 2-Dec-10

PS--I see no evidence anywhere, including on Mordillo's talk page, that you have prevailed on the facts. I will therefore be rolling back any further edits you make personally to these two awards page. Spıke ¬ 11:48 2-Dec-10

Sounds about right to me. NXWave was repeatedly warned, by Mordillo and many others, to be civil otherwise he'd lose his awards and we'd start deleting his stuff. He chose to continue to be an asshole and a sockpuppeteer. I'm happy to keep supporting the decision we made to consign him to history. --UU - natter 11:59, Dec 2

Jesus was Christian, NOT Jewish

Jesus guy. The category Christain was on purpose, because he was spelling it that way. A joke. ha ha ha ha hee hee ha ha ha smirk hee hee hee huh? Aleister 2:48 3 12

Okay. But he has slapped {{WIP}} on it, a tried-and-true method of immunizing it from VFD provided you continue to tweak it at least once a week. I distrust this guy. Spıke ¬ 02:54 3-Dec-10

He then took {{WIP}} off, claiming the article was essentially done; and, separately, I took it to the Poopsmith's Lounge, where Sycamore gave the article thirty days to get funny. Spıke ¬ 15:08 3-Dec-10

We Are But Amateurs

Check this link about a woman calling the police about a stolen snowman! Sign her up!! http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a291253/woman-dials-999-over-stolen-snowman.html --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:57, December 3, 2010 (UTC)

Use discretion before turning Odd News into UnNews, as most of the comedy fuel comes from elsewhere. Misuse of the emergency number by morons is epidemic in the US as well. (Imagine!) The two guys on the Boston morning "sports talk" radio station often take time out to cover them. "John, guess the dateline on that story!" "Florida?" "How did you know?" Spıke ¬ 15:08 3-Dec-10

UnPoetia:Twas The Night Before Christmas...in Croatia

You are our Croat expert, can you think of any good pics for this page? I've asked Funnybony to do an audio for it, in song, but if he refuses and runs maybe you can put one up (but in the spirit, read like you were Santa, maybe drunk Santa since all Croats get drunk before reciting it--but I'd suggest you get drunk to do it, seriously.) (and, hey, wait, do an audio too if you'd like, why not multi audios of the same poem??? Not beyond the realm of logic, aye?) and will probably VFH nom it within a few days. Can you discern from the Croatian page history who would have written it (I probably could look, but you are the Croatian page expert so maybe you can off-the-top-of-your-head it. Thanks. Aleister 17:43 3 12

I'm going to be no help here. The poem is half in Croatian, on which I am certainly not your expert. And the two active Croatians recently (with usernames) have been total head cases, though one of them resolved to turn over a new leaf. I can only suggest that you ask again--on Talk:Croatia. Spıke ¬ 19:44 3-Dec-10

Glad you didn't do it. It's a total spork and should be VFD'ed. I googled a random line and came up with it printed on Facebook many months before it showed up here, and didn't bother to go into its history any further. Thieves, one of my pet peeves here are the sporks. And one that's not changed at all? Thievery. Aleister 12:33 5 12

Amazing! and we went to such lengths to save it previously, even though the poem didn't fit in the Croatia article. Now, as I say on the awards page, can someone be induced to sing Klingon Wonderland before the season passes? Spıke ¬ 12:40 5-Dec-10

Should have known it was too good, and when I saw it was a one time edit that rang the bell for some research. And why don't you do Klingon, you have one of those audio machines (I don't come equipped with one or may have given it a whirl), or do you not sing? This would have to be sung in a deep and serious Klingon tone of voice, and I bet you can do it. In fact I have bet that you can do it. Come on, don't make me lose another thousand betting on you! Aleister 13:04 5 12

Placement is treatment, to quote my own user page, and the best thing I can do for this patient is to find the right specialist. Spıke ¬ 13:11 5-Dec-10

Maybe Funnybony, although he hasn't done an audio here as far as I know. How many people actually do them besides you and an occasional one or two from someone else? No regulars on that beat besides yourself that I know of, and that mainly in the newsbroadcasting booth. Aleister 13:18 5 12

Maybe Mordillo. And he has a foreign accent. To be clear, the poem was inserted in Croatia in one edit plus a tweak by Nemesis on 17-Mar-07 (his last contributions ever), long before my insertion of material from Kurvatia and the split into UnPoetia. Spıke ¬ 13:20 5-Dec-10 PS--Confirm that your Facebook source is older than this and I'll nominate it on VFD. Spıke ¬ 13:22 5-Dec-10

Ah, a Klingon Mordillo. Might work, but deep voice Mordillo. Easy, what I did was google the start of the second line "The air smelled of spicy" and the entry under ours is a facebook entry that scans to December of 2006. And goddess only knows who first wrote it. Aleister 13:32 5 12

I've sent it to VFD. (Odd. It began with {{Spork}}, admitting that it had been lifted from somewhere, but missing the parameter that would have told us from where.) Spıke ¬ 13:39 5-Dec-10

I put the spork template on it after researching the voices in my head. Aleister 1:49 7 12

Point me at the audio, you lot couldn't do any guttural sounds to save your life. ~ 19:38, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

There is no audio. We want audio. The ingredients are: the lyrics, at UnPoetia:Walking in a Klingon Wonderland, and a Karaoke version of, I believe, Winter Wonderland. Spıke ¬ 20:44 6-Dec-10

So this is the in-place to ask for audios. I'll have one order of audio for UnTunes:Troops on the Ground please, obvious tune and repeated several times, with a sideorder of tapioca, thank you. Aleister 4:27 8 12

Wikia bug rendering thumbnails; browser cacheing

SPIKE, I do not use mozilla, and I was testing it on pages I had not previously opened with this computer at all - they were fine even when hitting preview, which had previously revealed the broken code, and Crossbow, which I had previously messed up by hitting purge on, also went back to normal in the preview, although I didn't actually purge it afterwards, something about not wanting to log in. For reasons. So you're still getting errors on new pages? (If it was fixed, all the already messed up ones would still need to be purged to go back to normal, mind.) ~ 18:27, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

Also, is it just me, or is the {{nologo}} not working anymore? ~ 18:28, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

It's working on this page now. Everything that wasn't working this morning is working now. Your explanation disproves my theory on CJDS's talk page. Spıke ¬ 19:04 6-Dec-10

PS--Regarding Aleister's (I presume he followed us here from CJDS's page) evidence of involvement by the 92 vandal, it is amazing how good the human mind is at picking up patterns (like publishers of "systems" for playing the lottery), regardless of whether they are there. Spıke ¬ 19:07 6-Dec-10

That's a funny thing - we see what we know. Aleister knows people, so he sees a person, an editor, behind it. You know browsers (or Mozilla, at least), so you suspect a browser. I know php and hypertext and so I suspect that is where the problem lies, although there is no telling, at least not from our seats, who actually did change what from where if they did, nor if different browsers didn't treat it differently... funny. Although the interwiki identification seems to be gone now as well... shame. Need to format my interwikis properly now, eh? ~ 19:29, December 6, 2010 (UTC)

Sure; given an anomaly, we look to the processes we understand for an explanation. However, I was not trying to explain the anomaly (which, as it was not any change to the page in the History, indicated change in the way Wikimedia code is converted to HTML, whether caused by Wikia or by vandals) but only why it appeared on only rebuilt pages. I do think Al's conclusion that it was hitting a pattern of victims was a leap of illogic. Spıke ¬ 20:54 6-Dec-10

I was doing that there, too, trying to apply process and qualify everything... feh. Wouldnt browser caching have prevented the rebuilt pages from showing it, though? Or is it smarter than that? ~ 01:04, 7 December, 2010

If your browser caches, as Mozilla does, then independently of how Uncyclopedia would have built the page, if the browser has that URL in the cache, it never asks for the page from Uncyclopedia. (To get around this, on some web sites like the myway.com news aggregator, the home page--cached or not--is just a skeleton. Whichever copy your browser fetches, Javascript on the page calls the mother ship to get the meat and builds the "real" page on the fly.)

PS--Geez, my finger twitched toward that shiny new Rollback button on User talk:Meganew. I gave you props in the Forum for keeping things light, but there's a time and a place. Spıke ¬ 01:20 7-Dec-10

That seems... silly. But if it never reloads the pages, wouldnt it have kept looking fine through that, or something?

And that was just my overly convoluted and unsubtle way of not exactly saying you might be getting too close to the matter. Just saying. Rollback me on someone elses userpage, and be warned! You are not the only one with such buttons, oh no. Been awhile since my last revert war, after all... ~ 01:34, 7 December, 2010v

Yes, exactly; if the fault is Wikia's in building pages and cacheing is in effect, old pages would continue to seem good. In addition, broken pages might "stay broken" after the fault was corrected.

On Meganew, "getting too close to the matter" was my reason for writing. Besides, now you've got a bleepin' imitator! Spıke ¬ 01:47 7-Dec-10

Just caught up to this page. So, you're calling me paranoid, huh? You're all against me, I knew it! You've got your microphone stapled into my brain, and are broadcasting those voices, I knew that too! Ha! Caught you red-handed. Well, yes, I jumped to a conclusion, and it's lucky they don't allow me to carry firearms anymore, not since that accident we refer to as "his mother and him on the roof incident". I was playing my brain off something that 92 told us, that he knew how to take down the site, and I thought maybe he pulled the plug when I saw that nothing on history was linking to what I thought were changes. If I knew more about code then I would have known better. Damn, a noise outside the window, I know it's Interpol, fuck! Gotta go. Aleister 1:46 7 12

And all this without strawberries, imagine! Spıke ¬ 01:48 7-Dec-10

SPIKE, if I ever do do something that indicates I have some idea what is going on, be a dear and shoot me, will you? Seriously. So either way, everything should be broken, then... that fits.

Aleister, its... wait, strawberries?! *drools* ~ 02:00, 7 December, 2010

User:Meganew's user page, continued

About that thing with that fellow, it's not that I don't agree. It's just that... I'm paranoid. Cheese? 1234 ~ 18:10, 7 December, 2010

No you're not. You were trying to keep it light; again, a trait I lauded you for in the Forum. Here, it was not serious nor funny nor successful at keeping things light. It was just a random Here-I-Am. Meganew, meanwhile, goes on to deny what he says to me earlier and at the same time confirm that the edit I objected to was deliberately adversarial to Admins. Not being one, I have nothing to add to that discussion. Spıke ¬ 18:57 7-Dec-10

Oh... well, arguably, that's all I ever do, anyway. Sometimes it comes across as funny, but... eh, it's more common on Illogicopedia, I guess. I tried to bribe the admins with booze once, and one of them completely ruined it by taking it seriously. *sniffles*

Okay, right. On topic, people are stubborn, anyhow. He is incredibly stubborn, and rather dense, at that. I should know. I'm dense too. And stubborn too. He's like me! *flails* 1234 ~ 19:34, 7 December, 2010

Saskatchewan on VFH

Good, it mysteriously came back. I told you, faith. Or Chief. One or the other. And because you resized my pics I thought up this page, so thank you for the inspiration. And since I'm here, must tell you that your recording of Doll was a hit with some people I know, as well as ask you if you would record Stub, which would be funny. Thanks. Aleister 18:26 13 12

This is the second time you've asked me to record that. I had concluded you just didn't like the sound of my voice. Spıke ¬ 18:32 13-Dec-10

You remember! Like some kind of computer that remembers everything. Freaky. And I like the sound of your voice, I play it to sooth me at times, and to go to sleep at night. That stub page is actually too long, can you reduce it without losing any information? I've did a fairly good job in the past, but it's at a point now where I'm trying to shave off a letter or two. It would be a funny to have an audio on the page. Aleister 18:47 13 12

Featured Article

Impressive Spike! A VFD certainty to a successful VFH in what, a week or so? Should be an article that other writers can refer to when writing about a location as it gets the mix right between humour and (un)factual information without falling into the template abuse that is the norm with these types of articles. I did remember one 'Saskatchewan' joke from a Laurel & Hardy film. Don't know which one it was but Hardy asks Laurel to book the honeymoon destination for him with his new wife. Laurel - unfamiliar with the name - comes back and tells Hardy that the booking agent had never heard of 'Squashedcatch..something' - so he got two tickets for Florida instead. I probably have the details wrong here but it was the first time I had ever heard of this place - or how to pronounce the name 'correctly'. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:59, December 17, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, "from Zero to Hero" (The Mask). I haven't pursued it, but could have before, as VFD saves aren't "my" articles so it isn't a self-nom. Usually, I'm content to just do a narration and stick the graphic into the voting box to flog it. Thanks for your remarks. Spıke ¬ 12:56 17-Dec-10

It was a good repair job, much like my reworking of the pre-existing article Dylan Thomas which ended up getting a nom+featuring. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:05, December 17, 2010 (UTC)

Speaking of repair jobs, I went all the way through Cul-de-sac after it was saved from VFD. Spıke ¬ 13:39 17-Dec-10

VFD and "intimidation"

We're drifting off the same page, when there is every reason for us to be working together. I've just read your comment both of Zombiebaron's talkpage and also on the Proton nomination. The first one I replied to on Zombiebaron's talkpage. Just to repeat I take exception to personal criticism which implies I act not to consioence or what I think is right, but to 'intimidation'. I also think that it is not acceptable to the other voters for you to make so personal, as well as false accusations. I find the implication that voting Keep, means I have to fix the article - it simply does not. Voters vote on the basis of of the article's humour value and it's place in the body of work. I am not/nobody in the community is obligated to 'justify' keeping an amusing article on the basis that I have the time, knowledge or abilty to re-write every article that comes up.

Again, no bad will on my part, I hope that you will understand why I take exception. --Sycamore (Talk) 17:24, December 20, 2010 (UTC)

We usually are on the same page, that of saving and improving articles. First of all: on Zombie's talk page, the "intimidation" refers to Zombie's Admin status, not to anything you did. The word "probably" is too strong. But the implication that some voters defer to Admins is deliberate, and does not deprecate their integrity.

Second: Voting Keep does not mean you or I "have to" fix the article; and you are right, no one here has to do anything. Still, a voter who believes an article can be saved sees something in it, perhaps sees a direction in which to take it; nominator or Delete voter probably doesn't. Most fixes do come from the Keep side.

I do think that you are personalizing this more than I was. Spıke ¬ 17:39 20-Dec-10

Fun facts

For the record...Trout are freshwater fish. 1234 ~ 15:45, 22 December 2010

Wise but true. Spıke ¬ 22:29 25-Dec-10

The first words spoken on the moon were not "One small step. . ." but "Contact light" Aleister 22:18 Christmas MMX

In a sense neither was "on the moon" but in a ship, then in a ship-like suit. What matters is the first thing someone says when barefoot on the moon. (Probably: "Yikes! Where's all my blood?!") Spıke ¬ 22:29 25-Dec-10

My point ex-ac-tly. Armstrong wasn't "on" the moon, so the first human in a "thing" on the moon to say anything was Buzz Aldrin, who said "Contact light", one of the most accidental spiritual sayings in history and it's as well known as Benjamin Harrison's vice-president. Tell youse what, I'll do an UnNews about it soon. Besides the elephant one I'll probably cook a few more in the next couple of weeks, and an honoring of the first words can be worked into news about some kind of monument to the event being erected by Aldrin in Aldrin's backyard, with nobody attending the ceremony. Yeah, I'll do that. Aleister 22:37 Christmas MMX

You're always welcome. The story should have the lightest of mentions of That Other Utterance, without saying what it is. Spıke ¬ 22:41 25-Dec-10

Sleep, news, and Illogicopedians...

Stuff, in no particluar order! Whooo.

In regards to sleep, have you seen this, ah, masterpiece? Because that's what happens when I don't. Sleep, I mean. I also hit people with wooden spoons, put Zombiebaron on ban patrol, break things, and generally do... well, the usual, actually.

And this - "For example, if there's something in an article that conflicts with the theme, an Uncyclopedian deletes it; an Illogicopedian runs with it." Are you sure about that? Are you really? Are you? HMM?

Also, I'm writing a news thing. It's horrible. And I have this other newsishish thing that I'm sort of using as a reference, do I say that's the source? I'm making up most of it. You'll probably have to have it deleted. *shifty eyes* 1234 ~ 02:26, 27 December 2010

Where groups have tendencies, a stereotype often describes them, although it never constrains every member of the group. So, yes, I stand by the above stereotype of Uncyclopedia vs. Illogicopedia, which I don't think dishonors either group.

Show me the news thing. Spıke ¬ 02:29 27-Dec-10

PS--Illogicopedia finally came up on my screen (the blizzard is slowing this down). Tl;dr--and not because it's tl. Got no theme. It's like Boring--It's easy to write an article that's boring, or an article that shows how one feels in sleep-deprivation. But you need a hook. Spıke ¬ 02:32 27-Dec-10

PPS--Wooden spoons would be preferable to frying pans. Spıke ¬ 02:35 27-Dec-10

PPPS--Yes, if you have a Source, make it your Source. We are all "making up most of it," otherwise it wouldn't be on the page. Spıke ¬ 02:36 27-Dec-10

Eh, I got sidetracked and lost it. I found a new one, though. And a bag of apples. And some other things I'd best not mention. But this new source is even better. *manic grin*

Guess you've a point about the tendencies, though... what particular groups do they actually apply to, though, I wonder?

And hey, the article isn't just about needing sleep; it's an ode to the Library. Every section parallels a chapter of the Library. A reference, I might add, that about three people I know would even possibly get. Not that it was even intentional, but hey. It's there. More than can be said for some things...

But do I hit as hard with a drying pan, hmm? Do I? And can the current revisions of pages be hidden? *wanders off* 1234 ~ 03:16, 27 December 2010

Hong Kong on VFH

I voted against for now on the page, it didn't seem to flow and lots of the jokes seemed forced. Did you work from a template of past edits, and tried to work within and around them? (I find myself doing that with existing pages). Didn't seem ready yet, and I actually read the whole thing too (my eyes!). Maybe a pee review or a few more people looking at the page would help. Would you mind if I took a sweep through it, maybe then my ego at putting words on a page will force my hands to change their vote. My hands voted on this one as I watched. Aleister 12:44 New Years Eve MMX

I am indeed reworking a page that I described in the nomination as once amusing only to trainspotters. Other material, some of which is still in the article, seems to be trying to take a serious stand on various political turmoil in the past. And the article continues to receive contributions from SunnyChow, such as today's on Housing, that has to be reworked before it seems funny.

I would prefer more specific criticism and that you let me manage the page, at least until it passes or fails VFH. Your style is zanier than mine and it would pull the page in yet another direction. Spıke ¬ 14:38 31-Dec-10

For starters, I've further trimmed the History section of passages that didn't lead directly to humor. Spıke ¬ 14:55 31-Dec-10

---

Shiny [award]. Congratulations! Hong Kong is a very special page, and I'm liking it more on another reading. There are so many individual lines and turns of phrases which also contain lots of data per word, something I enjoy, surrounded by lots of boring and huh? It's almost like more than one writer wrote it, which is maybe the hardest but most neccessary thing to erase in a collab (even a collab over time). This is a big project, and as for VFH it was probably just put up a little too soon. The main problem I see is the lead, which just has to grab the reader and flow them into reading the story/article. And even the lead isn't bad, it just needs maybe one or two more grabbers and you've got it (I did a brief reworking as an option, but that lacks things, I didn't want to start writing per your zany yowzer monkeys on a branch poop into my hair and I dance and dance and then accidently - I swear, animal patrol officer - kill the monkey with a comb while brushing the poop out of my hair comment). The best part of writing and reading any of this was being able to say "What am I, your mother?". Makes my day on Uncy and, coincendently, my year (so far). Aleister 12:44 1 1 '11

Yup, good intro; I only put back the initial confusion between SAR and the disease SARS. Tell me how to proceed. Spıke ¬ 12:47 1-Jan-11

And, regarding shiny, not as shiny as your nomination and praise! Thank you. Spıke ¬ 12:49 1-Jan-11

What am I, your mother? I'll look more later, and if you say it's ok to edit a bit I'll hold back on adding things but just try to smooth it. I've never been to Hong Kong, have you? Seems like it would be a trip - wasn't that the site of "Lost in Translation"? Maybe something about that film could be included, or other films the city was featured in. And damnit, I was hoping nobody would nom me for that thing. Remember what Quentin Tarantino said about Uma Thurman being nominated or not being nominated for her role in "Kill Bill", that she shouldn't have to even attend the ceremony but that the Academy should deliver it to her door. That's like Sog.Aleister 12:59 1 1 '11

I've been in for four more smoothings, explained in the Change Summaries. For more context, see the end of User talk:SunnyChow. Spıke ¬ 13:04 1-Jan-11

Schamschi's vote against is problematic. The comment that Hong Kong develops too slowly to engage the reader is valid; the implication that dry humor is inherently unfeaturable is wrong. It's the way I do it, and legitimate (and vital in articles such as Anus, where extreme dryness is the vehicle to slip in an increasing number of toilet jokes); after all, we are spoofing Wikipedia.

But rather than reinvent or transform the article to push it onto the main page, I do prefer to evolve it more slowly, as you proposed originally, especially as I expect more contributions from Sunny. Spıke ¬ 14:09 1-Jan-11

I see he has softened his vote commentary, which was gentlemanly, but a new dilemma is that he is saying that the start of the article has agendas other than humor; while starting at Transportation--it fails to have agendas other than humor. Spıke ¬ 00:52 2-Jan-11

Flint, Michigan

First, I'd like to say that the article is really shaping up. I actually laughed several times reading through it, which is leagues beyond what I can say for most of the stuff I see on the site.

Second, though, I am unsure of how to incorporate the metaphor I was going for. I think I had intended to use it for bring in the introduction for the Geography section, but I am unsure now. The part about the Mitten does a fairly good job at bringing in the section already.

I figured I'd run the idea past you to see what you thought and whether it does have a place. It was originally poking fun at the fact that the thumb is the most important finger, and the fact that Flint isn't really that important. I whipped this sentence up:

Due to its location on the metaphorical hand, many assume that it is the joint that holds the most important finger to the rest of the state.

The idea came up of using it somewhere else instead, possibly the introduction, but I thought I'd see what you had to say first. → I am greatSoup? 03:33 5-Jan-11 ←

I have a thought, which will be installed within 10 minutes; post-edit me if you see fit. Spıke ¬ 03:37 5-Jan-11

Okay, that's pretty great. Nice thinking there.→ I am greatSoup? 03:43 5-Jan-11 ←

We have done everything except--weave in The Flintstones--How did we forget that?! Spıke ¬ 03:48 5-Jan-11

Oh! The Flintstones, of course.

Seriously, though, I had originally thought about doing the joke at the beginning with flint for the Flintstones, too, but I thought that might be taking it too far. → I am greatSoup? 04:13 5-Jan-11 ←

Just looked at The Flintstones. Truly perverse--and featured on the main page--in 2005. I shoulda been here. Have added a See also to it. Spıke ¬ 04:19 5-Jan-11

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

Looked at Star Trek III, and the script was gone! I put it back with some changes. It's much more than a three page fart joke, it was funny when I read it and tweeked it, added a pic, etc., and the purpose of the script is defined by the storyline: the original masterpiece script was lost in the mail, and they just winged it. Ebert, as you have him, is mind-boggled, etc. So a large portion of the script doesn't harm the page, it just adds to it, imnho. Wiggle wobble. wonk. Aleister 18:24 11 1 '11

Are you kidding? Sucked; continues to. Is "funny if you are a Star Trek fan" only inasmuch as our former article on the clique-bound and Nazi-operated East Junior High School is funny if you are a current student.

PS--If you are sitting there looking for things to nominate--and if the above doesn't piss you off--I do have 7 of the month's first 7 UnNews Audios. InB4 the Jews this month? Spıke ¬ 18:23 11-Jan-11

I really like the script, it is getting to be (and I went back to the page when I logged on to rework it some more, and it was gone, gone I tell you, just like Spock was gone in the movie, the same, the same!!!) semi-good on its way to good. As for a nom, I wouldn't nom you again if you were the last person editing on Uncy. Not even then. There would have to be no editors, not even Gomphog and that 92 guy. Yeah. Beam me up. Aleister 18:28 11 1 '11

Thanks for the eloquent nom. The Star Trek script, however--despite your tender mercies--is still essentially a three-page fart joke. Spıke ¬ 18:43 11-Jan-11

You're welcome, but you've also earned all your noms and wins, so thank you. I did some more work on the script, and actually enjoy it now. Please read it if you have two minutes, and let me know if it meets with your approval (are you a Star Trek person? Almost have to be to enjoy the humour there). I voted to save Kip's article, and figure that if it's a one-time page and that type doesn't get out of hand and become a daily event then the harm is balanced out by an interesting take on a news article. The sneeze one, I'll not vote, and hopefully the trend has ended. Kip's was funny to me though. Aleister 12:46 12 1 '11

Sometimes I wish you'd apply your skills to articles that deserve it--though sometimes you do. "Who's the mother"--Good; relates to something in the movie. Wait--was this the movie that began with baked beans in Yosemite? if so, the giant fart joke also refers to something in the movie. Needs one clarification: Is the plot excerpt what was in the script that got lost in the mail, or is it what they wound up doing because they had no script?

Kip's work was not a one-time thing: type [[UnNews:I and see all the stories from the past about what happened to me. But it has already gotten out of hand and spawned a cheap knock-off, "I sneezed." I asked for an explanation of the humor on User talk:Kip the Dip, in a section you started (and in which he cites you and your awards as justification for the UnNews), and you should give me a real response there. Spıke ¬ 13:01 12-Jan-11

PS--Both the above requests were met. Spıke ¬ 14:54 12-Jan-11

A wizard did it in Top 10

Spikey, how are you? Tell me, Im not critiquing anything or anyone, but can you explain me the humour of A wizard did it? There is some kind of inside humour im sure, would love to know if you know what it is!!! --Shabidoo 23:28, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

You can read the Discussion page, or follow the link to the VFD debate, which occurred before I started voting. It doesn't strike me as funny in the least. It has been used a lot as a link in other sentences. Spıke ¬ 23:35 20-Jan-11

"Orthography"

What do you mean by "orthography"? Never heard that word in my life until just a few minutes ago at VFD--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:22, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

When in doubt, you can always look it up, and if planning a long career here, a dictionary will serve you well, as we will none of us ever know all of English. Orthography means "the way things are written"; it's broader than spelling correctly, covering capitalization, or in this case JoinedWords as though we were coding in Pascal. (In my dictionary, the first definition revolves around spelling, but the other two are more general, "arrangement of letters.") I'm impressed that you asked. 02:28 PS--"Typography" also covers it, but to me calls to mind boldfacing, italics, and so on. Spıke ¬ 02:40 21-Jan-11

Ahhhh, I see. I should use a dictionary more often. I haven't used one in years with the exception of doing school work. Better get it from storage and clean the cobwebs off. I really like it when people use the big words instead of the little itty bitty one.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:44, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Why not. This is not a job, but it has all the benefits of one; it teaches us stuff, not the least of which how to work with other people. Using language precisely is a good thing here and a good thing in real life--and you are always welcome to tell me when I don't. Spıke ¬ 02:47 21-Jan-11

I shall do it too!--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:50, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yikes!!! Spıke ¬ 02:51 21-Jan-11

I'm sorry, did I scare you?--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 02:54, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Depends on whether you mean "I shall" start correcting me, or merely having a dictionary at hand. Separately, that's a lot of poopy on VFD. Are you going through some sort of Freudian phase? Spıke ¬ 02:56 21-Jan-11

I meant on having a dictionary at hand, but I'll be happy to correct you if you do have a little mistake. As for the poopy, I thought I would be a good idea to try another approach in place of my usual badass, no mercy approach towards crappy articles. Although it's poissble that I could be going through a Freudian Phrase. I should ask my Therapist--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:03, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yup, as I mentioned before how "shit!" might come off in your first contact with a stranger, you're on the right track and I shouldn't pick on you. Spıke ¬ 03:17 21-Jan-11

Don't move Forum:Just what the fuck

Please avoid from making unnecessary moves or changing titles of forums that were created by other people. I realize that you being a technical writer you have a need for order, but this place can do with more mess and chaos. Thanks. ~ 19:45, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

Unless next month we are looking for a problem someone had with Mediawiki and all we see is, "Just what the fuck." But, very well. Separately, the Itty Bitty Babies Forum (that is, users' anniversaries) really needs not just a renaming but to be taken out of the Forum where, some day, it will get locked. Spıke ¬ 19:48 30-Jan-11

No, any time it gets locked I can dearchive it. There's a way to do that. Also, I think the name's fine. -- 19:56, January 30, 2011 (UTC)

If you have not misplaced things for a long time because of a past excess of cleverness, you haven't been around. Not that I think naming a page "Just what the fuck" is clever. Spıke ¬ 22:13 30-Jan-11

But if you can tell what things are just by looking at them, it ruins the fun of rooting through the archives... 1234 ~ 22:21, 30 January 2011

There's no need to actively change the names of forums. As mentioned, they were created by their respective owners for a reason, and there is no harm in keeping them that way. Specifically with the Itty Bitty one, I really don't see what's the harm in it being around. Also, Magic man, don't go around and bump old forums because you've found a silly work around. They're archived for a reason. When a forum is archived, it's archived. ~ 16:30, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

I was not arguing for the huffing of Itty Bitty, but for taking it out of the Forum so that it would survive and remain editable. However, if any Forum is named "Just what the fuck" for a reason, the reason is probably sociopathic, which ought to be secondary to being able to figure out what it is about; navigation tools, including the names of things, ought to assist navigation. End of sermon. Spıke ¬ 16:47 31-Jan-11

UnBooks:The Old Man and LV

I've never heard of Foxwoods, thanks! Read the wikipedia page (maybe a link on the forum?). It's American Indian owned. Have you been there? What's the hooker population like? Do Indians still sleep in teepees? This interested me because I'm working on a page, which I'd appreciate a reading of if time permits. And I trust that most of your snow has melted, and the car once again can be parked in its rightful place. Aleister 13:36 13-2-'11

Go fish. I never read the original, so am not a prime candidate to be amused by the satire, nor does the intro grab me and pull me in. Don't like animated GIFs; what you are making fun of surely didn't have 'em.

I have not visited Foxwoods. I looked up the man my sister divorced and got an inside look at Las Vegas casinos, and my sister is still occasionally entertained by the ones in Detroit, but neither the lure of free money nor the atmosphere of surveillance and manipulation attracts me. Foxwoods does have a team in the women's pro basketball league that I might like to watch, except that it's just as much fun watching local college teams.

Virtually none of the snow has melted--though a little will in the coming week. The last two storms were slush, then two inches of powder, quickly handled without waving down a passing plow. The car is at the house now, and can be turned around with a little awkwardness, but the near end of the driveway is still ice. Spıke ¬ 16:03 13-Feb-11

Please go to Foxwoods, and report to us the treasures and experiences you find there. The Old man and LV page uses the Old Man and the Sea only as a template, and adds in much more about Las Vegas, Hemingway, etc. It goes pretty deep into lots of things, so I had to and have to layer in more comedy to surround the other. It's fun to write and edit the page, as I take on the character and the way of writing/speaking and must shake that when I go to talk pages. Speaking of, why haven't you nominated Pearl necklace for feature yet? Remember, you admonished me for saying it could come up to feature quality (I think you said "God forbid" or something which meant God forbidding something) and since then I've tried writing it to present to you, and it's getting close. God forbid. Aleister 14:34 Valentines Day

Aristocrats and baby chicks on VFD

Yeah, I guess that was kind of abusive. Look, I apologize for being a dick. You know how it is. A guy puts a lot of time into something, he's having fun doing his thing, and wham! The deletion vote comes along. It's been a long time since something of mine has gone on there, at least something that I care about, and yeah like most people I guess I got a little ego.

I understand your point. From your perspective it's just some youtube video, and youtube videos tend to make us all skeptics. To me, it's legitimate satire, and not vanity, especially considering I did the whole thing for an uncyclopedia contest. I know you take pride in your work, and I imagine if you put a lot of work into an article, and somebody tried to delete for a reason you disagreed with, you wouldn't be happy yourself. I don't expect you to agree with me, but please try to understand. User:Mrthejazz/sig 03:56, February 17, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for reaching out. Again, the amount of work you put into it is not a factor, and I have not watched the video and am not commenting on its humor.

This is not Uncyclopedia content. It cannot be Uncyclopedia content. That's not my decision; Special:Upload doesn't accept videos nor files over 10Mb. Let's stipulate that you did a marvelous piece of work and it's side-splitting funny. It is on YouTube. I've done great works and not many of them are on Uncyclopedia. Like many authors on YouTube, like many bloggers and candy-store owners, it's nothing without traffic. Plain and simple, this Uncyclopedia page is an advertisment for content located elsewhere. It does not matter that the creator is an Uncyclopedian. Spıke ¬ 12:13 17-Feb-11

Separately, Lyrithya--although this conversation was taken up on your talk page--when one user apologizes to another, it might be embarrassing. It is not vital to have the two cents of the Uncyclopedia Cruise Director before the recipient himself can respond. Spıke ¬ 12:13 17-Feb-11

School Vandalism

Look at this load of shite: School Vandalism. I was going to VFD myself but it's semi-protected and I can't add it. - 77.103.26.107 15:37, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

You don't get the joke, right? --~  15:53, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

What joke? this is the worst article i have seen on this site! - 77.103.26.107 16:21, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

I am not a fan of deliberately bad articles, but this one, in the Category:Pages that look like the things they're about, does well what it tries to do. I won't nominate it. Spıke ¬ 16:54 8-Mar-11

What is it supposed to look like? A shitty uncyclopedia article? - 77.103.26.107 17:01, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Yesh. Anyway, if you create an account you can VFD it. -- 17:08, March 8, 2011 (UTC)

Not that it would happen. DJ Mixerr 02:50, March 12, 2011 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

Another n00b did the deed, but it was voted Keep, 4-3. I still distrust the motives of an Anon whose first notion on Uncyclopedia is that he needs to nominate someone else's article for deletion--but several of our better-known millstones would have gone to a different article instead. Spıke ¬ 02:57 12-Mar-11

UnNews:Kudlow: Everything's okay despite Japan devastation

I did some experimenting with this story and want to know what you think. So... what do you think? ~  Talk 16:26, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

Ooh! Thank you for humping my very new article on Larry Kudlow!

Again, this article starts too slow; the first two paragraphs are mostly factual background; though it exaggerates the fear component, I briefly wondered if you were using UnNews to appeal for charity rather than make us laugh. We really don't need to know the effects of sea-water to get to the humor. As is often the case, the solution is to write a conventional, one-or-two-sentence lead paragraph summarizing the UnNews: Kudlow's counter-intuitive assertion in the face of panoramic chaos. Summary, then abbreviated background, then quotes from Kuddy.

I can easily do another of the illustrations shown here, with any desired caption, if you think that would help.

Probably the reason you are asking my opinion is that, per our past conversation, your source for your article, and probably the source for what you believe about right-wing Kudlow, is not a wire service but left-wing Huffington. Although I have done my share of ridiculing Kudlow, the risk in this approach is that you are ridiculing for humor (I hope) aspects of Kudlow that Huffington is ridiculing to score serious political points. A better test is if you can find coverage of his boosterism in the supposedly neutral media and ridicule that. Starting with Huffington, you will get easy laughs from the cohort who would laugh if you wrote, "Kudlow, who is simply an asshole"--and you might not get laughs from the rest of the spectrum.

Did you get laughs from me? No. Ridiculing Kudlow is fair game; the take that he just doesn't give a bleep about other people's misfortune is unreality. It would be funnier to me if it were more closely based on his broadcast persona: Blind optimism, gushing about the character of the Japanese people, name-dropping and mentioning personal conversations with a random dignitary, who is "my dear friend," harping on technical terms, and a little repetition.

Now please return the favor: does my UnNews:Senator has catchy new name for bonds have general entertainment value? Of less import now, because it's not going to beat yours for the lead. Spıke ¬ 17:18 14-Mar-11

PS--Gave it the lead and minced a lot of words--without really addressing the above issues. The caption on the Front Page is different but the article isn't renamed. Spıke ¬ 17:41 14-Mar-11 Renamed now. Spıke ¬ 23:14 14-Mar-11

Thanks for the feedback. I was actually less worried about the sources than the comedy/satire of the piece: I was trying to make the 1-line 3rd paragraph hit harder by drawing out the nature of the disaster, but you're right, I did pull it too far. And Kudlow did become a little too over the top as the quotes piled up, making it less "funny comedy" and more "stabbing satire." I'm just looking for that middle ground between heavy and light writing, and need other people's feedback because I'm a terrible judge of my own stuff.

As for the Bonds UnNews, I had some trouble with it. It seemed very scattered, going from being about bonds to acronyms to advertising, but maybe it's because I'm not too knowledgeable about bonds as a whole (read, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't know what the fuck you're talking about"). While it could use a quick summary of bonds to get the reader up to speed at the beginning, it's also one of those topics that tends to make reader's eyes glaze over. In my opinion, this would be like theoretical astrophysics or dentistry in that, outside of making it absurd, it's incredibly difficult to make a piece on saving bonds funny. Is there anything else in particular about the story that you wanted an outside opinion on? ~  Talk 18:52, March 14, 2011 (UTC)

No, that is what I needed to know, thanks.

"Stabbing satire" is legitimate comedy too. The thing to avoid is "Huffington's partisan bile, retold with a comedy veneer." The Front Page graphic is the way articles like this need to start. In not mentioning Kudlow (the payload) until the third paragraph, you are "burying your lead." Spıke ¬ 19:03 14-Mar-11

Zig is now in with a second illustration, and I've tried to remove the crass remarks attributed to Kudlow, replacing them with something he would actually say (except more crass). The caricature Kudlow would not lament the Great Depression; he would lament double taxation of dividends, even apropos of the tsunami. See what you think. Spıke ¬ 22:24 14-Mar-11

Sure, sounds good. I'm getting the idea that you know more about this guy than I do; my only exposure to him were his comments on the tsunami that just hit a chord with me and made me want to write something about it. ~  Talk 01:45, March 15, 2011 (UTC)

Added to the story this evening.

Dammit, that's the thing! Huffington wants to see him dead! I love his optimism, but understand how easy it is to ridicule him. I was in there (with a third illustration) just now, and it's getting close to things he actually would have said. The UnNews reporter must not be a soldier in someone else's ideological campaign. He is just woefully uninformed.... Spıke ¬ 01:49 15-Mar-11

Liverpool Echo

Who do I like talk to about getting an article 'featured'? I just completed my first one (i.e. not an unnews), it's on my Userpage right now 18:32, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

Ok FINE I'll put a link here Liverpool Echo :D 18:34, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

Read UN:VFH. You don't get it featured; someone else likes it and nominates it for featuring, after it enters mainspace. Exception: If you have gotten someone else to review your article, you can nominate it yourself. Spıke ¬ 18:35 21-Mar-11

'Til then, take it to Pee Review and get some feedback. I'll give you some brief feedback now: in its current state, it likely won't stand much of a chance at featuring, even if it's balls-on-the-floor hilarious, because people tend to not vote for really short articles -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:37, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

And for starters: run-on sentence in first paragraph; incorrect use of "it's"; "Some say" is un-encyclopedic and to be discouraged even in UnNews; and we don't need off-site links unless you are not trying to get people to laugh but to read the real thing. Also, as Froggy said, way too short. Spıke ¬ 18:40 21-Mar-11

"Some say"

Don't worry about the "some say" criticism. Take some time to find your voice, many (if not all) (in fact, it's definitely "all") of our site's best writers rarely stick to the formal encyclopedic style in their writing. Other than that, I've gone through the article and made the minor grammatical corrections. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 18:52, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

cheers peeps! I'm going to stick my neck out and defend the 'some say' here (though I prefer the 'covent of experts' bit so I'll keep that thankyouverymuch) I don't think it's as big a problem in articles as much as it is in unnews Spike, but I appreciate your intricate analysis as always! 19:12, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

No, I insist. The reason for starting a paragraph, "Some say" is to suggest that there is a controversy, for which you give the editor's reply. You punt on the topic of where the controversy started in the first place. Deviating from encyclopedia style is not the big problem--nor is passing up the chance to give another ridiculous story about the other side. Rather, your reader is left wondering why he cares about a rebuttal of a problem that was never explained to me. Vagueness is not a matter of personal style; it is a problem to be solved--in whatever way you'd like. Spıke ¬ 19:58 21-Mar-11

UnNews:Michigan supreme court votes in favor of rapper

Sorry I didn't reply to your question on IRC; I had another window full-screened and kind of forgot I was on the channel.

I'm still on the fence as to whether I'll revert your changes. The meter is complex (I'd done some quick research on rap lyrics and the stuff is far more complicated that I'd thought) and can go lots of different ways, especially in the instances you picked out, so the changes really don't change much in the long run. I really want to do the audio, though - it would add so much to the story and set the meter in stone. I'm looking for rap rhythms to sample and cut, but I have no clue what I'm doing, so it might take awhile. If you know any good sites that... I don't know... have an interactive interface that would allow me to create a drum and rhythm loop that doesn't sound like a MIDI, send them my way. ~  Talk 01:16, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

I have a MIDI, but it sounds like a MIDI. That you're contemplating reverting me is surprising (but acceptable), as again, those changes are those I thought made it rhyme correctly and nothing further. If you have another meter, one would have to hear it to buy it; that is, what you had in mind doesn't come across in the written version, as MattLobster observed. I asked Dexter111344 to do the Audio, and he obviously has a concept in mind. The story, for sure, requires several different voices and youse might collaborate, or you might ask him for help. I'll do a bracket if you ask for it--that is, the usual deadpan UnNews Audio guy starting and finishing the story. Spıke ¬ 01:33 22-Mar-11

Or you can both do audios. Songs have more than one person signing them. And Humbucker knows the cadence he wants, so he should do the audio if he'd like. Dexter too. If I had thev equipment I'd do it, so Spike should do one too. Hell, half a dozen audios sound fun to me. Aleister some time later

The only reason I'm interested in doing the audio this time around is, as Al says, because I know the cadence. The beat was there when I wrote it, and it just doesn't come across too well without the audio and I want to make it work out. But by all means if someone else wants to do another audio, or if someone wants to collab, I'm fine with it. It's artistic expression; use what I made to make something of your own. ~  Talk 01:46, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

Well, if to make it read correctly, I broke your vision, then do revert me. But do give a thought to making the written version read satisfactorily to a reader. And half a dozen audios doesn't sound fun to me; it might amuse us but the average reader doesn't care to study all the directions someone wanted to take it in. Humbucker, gather the resources at hand and supervise one audio that effects your vision. Spıke ¬ 02:13 22-Mar-11

Anyone with a Mac/iPad/mixing program and enough time could easily mix several audio tracks together on garageband or something similar to create a seamless rap. Humbucker does a verse, dexter does a verse, Humbucker does the beat and arrangements after downloading Dexter's verse, uploads the final product, we have an audio. Or you can even drop the rhymes over Skype and record that, to make sure the timing is better. And if somebody does an additional audio, then they can label it a remix. You can even do the version that you want, Spike, with the lyrics that you want and the imaginary beat that corresponds with them too. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 02:17, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

Dateline

occasioned by a change summary in ALL CAPITALS

You know why some people can't get the dateline right? Because it's set up very confusingly on the page. Why not just show something like the following (see code) {{News}} {{Date}} There, that's all you need, not all the code....just Date Month Year! I was going to write you about this soon but never got around to it. Aleister 00:23 25-3-'11

That's not what he got wrong. That part is done automatically for you. The "dateline" is a newspaper term for the place name. Romartus always either fails to make something a link, supplies the superfluous USA as he did in this case, I think; and ends with a full stop rather than the double hyphen that Zim told me our Podcast dotes on. Spıke ¬ 00:28 25-Mar-11

I've never seen anyone screw that up, Al. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:29, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

I've often messed it up, once or twice posting it, other times I have to preview it and do it again. It just seems simpler using "Date Month Year" without all the other stuff. And putting USA doesn't seem too bad, as not everyone lives in the United States nor knows the city and state names. Where is Wyoming, for example, and why isn't it more well known? Putting a town and province name in Serbia would just confuse American readers. I don't really care about that though, but I dd think the date month year thing is valid. And why are you back on here without vandalizing the hall of shame? Vandal! (blows a whistle in hopes that crowds gather. no one does) Vandal! Aleister 00:38 25-3-'11

Well, that might be, but we have an additional heroic duty here, that of masquerading as a legitimate news source, one in which everyone actually begins articles the same way. The slightly US- (and Canada-) centric policy is set out in UnNews:Style Sec. 4.2. When authors want to use a "nation" of Britain rather than "U.K.," I don't mess with it. The date/month/year thing is valid; only already solved and not what we are talking about. Now what "Hall of Shame" are you on about? Spıke ¬ 00:42 25-Mar-11

The date month year thing, that's what I posted about. It would look better, make the page less wordy (it is pretty wordy now), etc. And the hall of shame vandal thing was directed at Dexter, the vandal. Aleister 1:07 25-3-'11

I always put UK rather than Great Britain since the official full name is United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. So putting 'England' down if the event happens in Edinburgh will have Sycamore clambering up Hadrian's Wall in fury. I don't therefore think adding USA is superfluous as UnNews is supposed to be international too. All other errors I take full responsibility..and now I will leave the tent to take a walk in the blizzard...--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:24, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day!

	Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day! A traditional Sasquatch blessing
	March 24 is Sasquatch Appreciation Day, as decreed by Reverend zim_ulator. Please join me in celebration of the noble Sasquatch and his innumerable contributions to Uncyclopedia.

Bhind45

I saw you reverted Bhind45's edits. Perhaps, if you have an hour, you can explain to him on his talk page what was wrong with them. He seems to want to learn, and has taken his lumps here and has stuck around, so if you have a couple of hours to help with his education you will receive your reward in heaven, at least I read that somewhere. Aleister 11:07 25-3-'11

Bhind45 is now banned for two months, by Zombiebaron. The warning of this was explicit, by Olipro, but I can't find the transaction that brought it about. My reverts were because he made his usual changes, mostly lewd vandalism. While I appreciate your tireless efforts to bring him around to the shiny side of The Force, they seemed like a waste of time from the beginning, unless you have a new project for which you need to recruit another voter. Spıke ¬ 11:15 25-Mar-11

Since my own misguided attempt with Gompy, perhaps Bhind will not be worth fighting for. I hope I am wrong but if he tries sock puppetry, we'll know for sure that this was the right decision. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:22, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Wonder why he was banned. Olipro told him if he broke the rules, yet how is a fresh noob supposed to know the hundreds of rules? The only new project I'm contemplating is a complete redo of the main page, but Lyrthrya will get there before me and huff the whole thing anyway.

UnNews:Wheelchair-bound grandmother rescued from Reactor No. 4

How'd you like my new UnNews? Chuckle chuckle chuckle (I like the licorice one the best, then the red, then all the rest equally except the orange, which I could take or leave) Aleister 11:25 25-3-'11

Needed a hyphen. Will get the 1-Spot just on the headline alone. What's with the recent black-and-white photos? Spıke ¬ 11:31 25-Mar-11

New Hampshire is right now dealing with the trial of the second of four rural trench-coat goths who set out one evening to stab a mother and daughter in their cabin (the daughter lived). His only hope is to play-act insanity, before a society obsessed with determining how we could have been better for him. Bottom line, I am not a master at the art of punishment, if anyone else is. But my love of teaching is reserved for willing students. Spıke ¬ 11:29 25-Mar-11

The guy here made a cyberbullying page. Can't see it because it was of course deleted along with the banning, but... eh. Innit the no cyberbullying thing pretty universal, at least? 1234 ~ 11:32, 25 March 2011

Should be. Spıke ¬ 11:34 25-Mar-11

Too bad. He did come back and was being polite and groveling, which I was also trying to buck him up on. Now if he comes back and talks his way in again, who knows. The black and white photo was the only pic of a wheelchair person that I could remember here, except for John Scherer, and it seemed like a funny one to build a story on too. The 100 year old guy black and white is, of course, the standard pic used for Jim Freklowski pages. Thanks, glad you liked it, the headline at least. Interesting rural New Hampshire story, cabins and stabbings and goths, o my. Aleister 11:38 25-3-'11

Please find a better one. The wheelchair is minor, but your caption wastes effort trying to explain the fact that the picture doesn't fit. Better if it simply fit. Separately, the sandwiches Grandma was thrown--they would be grilled cheese, wouldn't they? Spıke ¬ 11:45 25-Mar-11

PS--I would nominate this for FA (over my straight-sarcasm UnNews:NFL changes rules for safety), now that VFH is no longer under lock-down, but I have two in the queue already. Spıke ¬ 12:26 25-Mar-11

I dug up a new pic, you're right about the Rooosevelt one (did you see the wheelchair pic on John Scherer? Even worse.). Sandwich line works well too, if people get it, maybe a bit more needed on it, hmmmmm. As for VFH, the third time's the charm. Thanks for the thought. Aleister 12:50 25-3-'11

More needed, indeed; the point is that it wasn't grilled when they threw it to her. Spıke ¬ 14:09 25-Mar-11

Hey dog, Iz got encouraged and added a new fifth paragraph and pic, yo, homie (homie if you live in some winter icestorm hell), dig. Aleister 19:45 25-3-'11

The cheese is now good--but the advocacy is starting to creep in. Spıke ¬ 23:09 25-Mar-11

Waa? Advocacy? Waa? I'm glad you used the new pic of the radiation guys on the news page, that fits better. Thanks for the placements. The idea came to me from my voting comment on the Foolitzer prize page, and when he didn't run with it I grabbed the idea. That was a fun one. I should do even more UnNews things, they are enjoyable. Aleister 1:47 26-3-'11

User talk:Egalitarian Aspie/UnNews:Charlie Sheen discovers new element

What do you think? I have no idea. 1234 ~ 20:01, 26 March 2011

Already told you on your talk page (Sec. 34)! Inform the author of the wonders of Illogicopedia. If it in fact is not The Reverend Zim ulator, in which case he already knows. Spıke ¬ 20:08 26-Mar-11

Oh, right. Is it that random? Should I know who the guy it's about is? Why would it be Zim ulator? 1234 ~ 20:31, 26 March 2011

It is totally random, in that none of the twists and turns relates to any of the others. It's Zim's style. Though Zim has been absent except for the cameo appearance on Sasquatch Day, I don't really think it's Zim, as his separate messages to you don't draw on the past at all. Spıke ¬ 20:36 26-Mar-11

I miss Zim... I mean, he's around a bit, but... right, anyhow, thanks. 1234 ~ 21:00, 26 March 2011

A question about .ogg files

Who is the person who narrates the UnNews sound files? They have a nice voice. - LOL vandalz 08:37, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

All our narrators identify themselves. I am the most frequent narrator (and the only one this month). (If you think it is that nice, the always-appropriate response is to so signify on the voting page for the Emmanuel Goldstein award). Now, what is your .OGG question? All UnNews Audios are .MP3. Spıke ¬ 12:35 27-Mar-11

You all seem to have nice voices on Uncyclopedia. Especially File:Mr winkler is gay.mp3. - LOL vandalz 12:51, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

That one says it was uploaded by Insineratehymn, whom I don't know. Also check out contributions around the start of the year by Nick Lucas or Nick Jones, who won a Goldstein (hint, hint) and then vanished, again. Read User:SPIKE/UnNews#Format for a short tutorial on how to get started. Spıke ¬ 13:03 27-Mar-11

Categories

Hell'o. Interesting thing, those categories on poop throwing monkeys, they all are relevant to the topic! If "joke" or "moron" categories were added it could be twice as big. But they all fit, which is what interests me about it. Mn-z and I came to that compromise/agreement (see talk page) when he wanted to cut the cats down, and Mordillo gave a ruling on the number of cats a page could have. I've beefed up the bearded woman category with pictures and a couple of more pages, and poop throwing monkeys does qualify, I would argue, because at least one of the chimps is, by odds, female, and does have a beard. Aleister 11:27 27-3-'11

Golspie on VFD

Should I take Golspie off of VFD? DJ Mixerr 23:20, March 29, 2011 (UTC) User:DJ Mixerr/sig

1. By rule, I think you should take nothing off VFD!
2. I can see why they didn't accept your request for QVFD; the article isn't brand new, and it does have a history.
3. My opinion on the version of the article now current is as I stated it: I'm abstaining.
4. What you might do is strike through your nomination. An admin might decide that that renders the vote moot, and might remove it from VFD. Except that Lyrithya (who is one, for at least another two days) also voted against it, in a lukewarm way, and after I restored the old version. If, having reviewed the old version, you don't think that one should be deleted, then you should strike through your vote. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:49 29-Mar-11

I always vote against things on VFD. Except when I don't. 1234 ~ 10:24, 30 March 2011

UnNews:Angela Merkel lies down in a darkened room

Thanks for the audio Spike. As I had a real struggle with yesterday's horrendous reskin 'joke', I gave up trying to really add anything. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:19, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

You're welcome! I too boycotted the site on 1-Apr because of the prank. The only good thing about it is it showed us that anyone who views the UnNews Front Page in the Monaco skin sees, above the masthead: "Edited by Olipro." That was a kick in the teeth too. Spıke ¬ 17:36 2-Apr-11

Yes indeed. So much for putting that reskin idea to the vote! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:02, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations

You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of April 2011. I know its not "up there" with the great awards of Uncyclopedia, but its a way for me to show my own support and appreciation for what people are doing out there to make this place better.

Churning out high quality humour over a prolonged period is a difficult trick to master. Dealing with asshats and weirdos and trying to help turn so many lead nuggets into gold is a tough task for anyone, keeping it up month after month without too much psychological damage is nothing short of a miracle. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Pee Review

Long time no speak. This isn't related to unnews but I have a question. Can I take down a pee review request once I've put it up? 15:32, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

As a Pee Review is a service to you, I would think a statement by you that you no longer want the service would be honored. On the details, you should ask Lyrithya or ChiefjusticeDS. Spıke ¬ 15:43 5-Apr-11

cheers! 16:55, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Probably the easiest way to take down a pee review request is to just list the request's page on QVFD with the explanation "Author request." pillow talk 18:17, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Never Gonna Give, Never Gonna Give

Good evening sir. Like the replacement article you've done: simple and funny. Would have liked to have done this - but my ambition is much like a disappointing scone. mAttlobster. (hello) 20:17, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

No, I don't play badminton. You are proposing that people write 94 more stanzas, in the form of Never Gonna Do, and yet not Never Gonna Do, but is nevertheless about Rick Astley or his career? I do not know enough about him, or about Rickrolling, nor did I read enough about him on Wikipedia to hang any more on than what I wrote. But I don't blame you for not flipping your vote until you've tried this idea out. Spıke ¬ 20:50 5-Apr-11

Comments at WJU VFD

No offense intended. I wasn't sure if anyone knew (or cared) about its status as an in-joke and I didn't want to annoy anyone by rambling about the article's history. Though because of this, I was disappointed there wasn't input from any of the older editors (TKF had gotten there ahead of me). It was meant in the same spirit as, for example, this edit, just a bit more self-deprecating. MadMax 18:45, April 11, 2011 (UTC)

(Forgot to reply earlier.) No offense taken, and you should have gone into the history, because no one else disclosed it, and your video of Grandpa Simpson's ramblings disclosed nothing. I don't vote to keep articles because, to paraphrase Froggy, everyone knows it's an in-joke. Spıke ¬ 21:48 11-Apr-11

Question about copyright

So, I'm aware that this website doesn't really give a rat's ass cookie about copyright, but I'm a little hesitant about uploading this particular one that comes straight from the scottrade mainpage. I don't intend to defile it or anything, but putting it in a satirical article seems like I'm doing that in some way. I wasn't sure who else to ask, I figured you'd know more about this than anyone else. Thanks. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   23:16, April 11, 2011 (UTC)

I write authoritatively, which gives many people the impression I am an authority. (Go fish.) In general, we are minimally bound by copyright because (1) we claim a "fair use" right to use images for the purpose of poking fun at organizations; and (2) no one in the real world cares much about us anyway. However, if someone has made a funny photo and you want to upload it to use its humor to help Uncyclopedia be funny, that is just stealing. To be on the safe side, when you upload, select one of the usage categories and be sure that the description of the category honestly applies to the image. Spıke ¬ 23:23 11-Apr-11

Well, that's my problem. The photo isn't funny by itself, I just intend to use it cause it's perfect for a caption I have in mind. That in mind, I can't identify what copyright scottrade has because they don't specifically address the use of pictures and I'm fearful of the wrath a powerful company like that can wreck on me...They have my daughter man...They have my f***ing daughter... --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   01:54, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

You margined your f***ing daughter??? It seems clear to me that you're not out to steal a joke. Only, I just went to the Scottrade main page and I don't see any photos at all. Just do it, but document where you got it. Spıke ¬ 01:57 12-Apr-11

Upload it. If there is a copyright issue, we'll remove it the moment they complain. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:59, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

Sounds good, I'll make sure to put a notice on it. Oh and I didn't margin her, I put her for short sell. It's smarter to do it that way, gets you more money per child. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   18:25, April 12, 2011 (UTC)

The most recent copyright issue that cropped up when a photographer complained about her image being used in Hype's Suddenly, Raccoons. For those who don't know the story, the matter was resolved despite some initial high level drama. The picture was deleted and replaced and no copyright lawyers got involved. If it happens again, refer it to a responsible admin, one preferably who isn't high on caffeine or sleep deprivation. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:44, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Naw, that was just the most recent dramatic one; we've had a few since that were much more quietly cleaned up (ie, the contesters actually went through the popular channels and were polite about it... or at very least, not idiots about it), but yeah. 1234 ~ 16:14, 13 April 2011

Someone actually huffed the pic I had built Never on Sunday around because, boo hoo, copyrighted. Well, I didn't really follow up on it, but since it occurred I've wondered what the name of the painting was, because if it was at all related to the page then fair use comes into play. I would like to be an idiot about it too, but yeah. Aleister 16:18 13-4-'11

About the name of the painting, the author apparently is named "Noistar", as the file name would have implied too. You can contact Sannse if you want to establish a discourse with the author about it. It really was a good image to use, and if we can bring it back in any way it would be worth it to try. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:40, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

If I had searched just a little bit longer I would have found these links. An even more slightly deeper search might uncover some contact info, too. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 17:42, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Ban patrol

Hey, man... I dunno if you saw Zombiebaron's comment, but please don't bother putting IPs with only one edit on ban patrol; there really isn't much point most of the time, since they're IPs, and all. Most of them never even come back, and there's no telling if it'd even be the same person behind the number the next time. If the idiocy repeats, however, that's when you know banning them might actually help. 1234 ~ 20:37, 12 April 2011

I didn't see it and would not have, thanks. Sounds reasonable. Spıke ¬ 20:39 12-Apr-11

UnNews Television

I sent you an email via email this user - but saw somewhere that you have non-always internet. So I wanted to put something here to have you know about it, in case it goes into a spam filter. Its about the UNNews/TV that Lolipop and I have been discussing on his page. -----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 18:27, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

Got your mail. You aren't stepping on any toes! Isn't showing one's face on Uncyclopedia or affiliates sort of like disclosing one's real name, which no one ever does? Do I guess you are about 1000 miles from New Hampshire? I'll help if I can, such as submitting sound bites which you might play with a photo of the "interviewee" in the background. Also talk to Dexter111344; he put together a podcast and had a notion to do another. That was audio, not video, but it's an example of taking our multimedia work in new dimensions. Spıke ¬ 03:26 15-Apr-11

The person I have in mind as the onscreen presence, is not an Uncyclopedian but is Cameraphilliac. She's a budding young actress that I am sure would be interested. I have no interest in being in front of the camera. The role I wish to play will be one of production - let the stories come from unNews - let the vidiots do their thing and see what happens. I will know more this weekend, at a party on the lot. and Yes I live in Kentucky, is far from NH. ----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 03:36, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

Everything here is under the share-alike terms, and most of us have such big egos that we'd be happy to have our stories used in additional media. My opinion is "Go wild," and it would probably be hard to find anyone who would tell you not to. Spıke ¬ 04:16 15-Apr-11

Her name is Roni Jonah IMDB, she's funny, attractive, and a former pro wrestler. Personally I do not think the imdb photo does her justice. ----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 04:22, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

It certainly didn't, as your original link invited me to edit my own talk page, don't know how you pulled that off. I'll check out your girlfriend's ugly photo later. Spıke ¬ 14:25 15-Apr-11

My clip bard has been as if possessed lately. Pasting random text that I do not even right click copy. I am going to have to start to consider to be extra extra super diligent about proofreading, since it is causing such problems elsewhere as well. ----K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 14:41, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

Eager dittoes on your "extra super diligent about proofreading." Separately, why not put your "--" inside your signature file, as last time you typed "==" and almost started a new chapter. And cheers to your clip bard, whoever he is. Spıke ¬ 15:04 15-Apr-11

[P.S.] You

are all right, and I don't care what my first impression was. We also had an edit conflict about the ==. I seem to be all talk when it comes to proof reading. My clip bard was supposed to be clipbroad.

---

K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:10, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

You suck. (See above--and don't destroy the evidence.) Spıke ¬ 15:15 15-Apr-11

I won't once its caught, and part of the routine, its no longer an edit. I do suck. No real complaints though, just grumblings from sensitive people. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 15:27, April 15, 2011 (UTC)

You guys are awesome. That's all. 1234 ~ 18:12, 15 April 2011

User page redirected

Thanks for the pointer for the signature, I'll check that out. Meanwhile it seems a dumbass arranged my user page so that I always get redirected to User:Mattiscool. And I can't seem to be able to revert it. It doesn't prevent from editing, it's just annoying :3 Wat do? Mattsnow (talk) 16:21, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Whenever you get redirected, there will be small print just underneath the header telling you so. Click on the link in this small print and you can go to, and not through, the redirect. You can edit it or see the history; in this case, you had no user page at all (shame on you) until User B came along (he is now on report) and redirected you to User C. Spıke ¬ 16:45 19-Apr-11

so is the problem, you are not cool? LOL --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 16:47, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

I'm not cool, I'm snow! LOL I'll try that Spike. Mattsnow (talk) 18:10, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

Ignore him! You can't try that, 'cause I already fixed it. (In fact, I left a report to you in its place, but someone elected to delete it.) Spıke ¬ 18:32 19-Apr-11

I feel like I ^^^ have someone following me around making sure nobody falls for my silly wordplays (not that I mind}--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 14:37, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

OK will do. Mattsnow (talk) 23:28, April 19, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Canada pulls a fast one with a snap election

Spikey, if you have a chance could you take a look at this and tell me whatcha think. You can post the comments on the article talk page if you are interested in giving me your input. Thanks Spike. --ShabiDOO 01:11, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

1. Get the reporter out of the story! And UnNews does not "reach conclusions"--we report.
2. Your photo captions are great--except for the cryptic final sentence. This seems to be the humor of repetition, except that it's not humor.
3. I started to edit this (got an Edit Conflict) but it seems like some of the misspellings are deliberate. That is, part of your humor is that the UnNews reporter is really dumb, misspells everything, and is probably an American and is looking at everything through American eyes. This joke is trite, compared to the observations you have about the Canadian system that actually are funny. Spıke ¬ 01:37 20-Apr-11

You are right on number 2 and number 3 mostly. However, Im not getting rid of the narrative entirely. I can go either two ways, either as an expose written in the 1st person (though it could get a little long) or to not make it UnNews (though it probably wont be read much before the actual election that way as a normal article). Without that I don't like the article very much, and as far as I know Canadians somewhat (I did live there) they will love the double concept of 1. their system made fun of (though not bashed) and 2. Americans not getting their system (as trite as you may find it). They have television shows dedicated to Americans not quite getting them, and lets be honest, Americans dont really get them and thats funny from a third point of view as well. --ShabiDOO 06:46, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

I consider that a green light to savage your story, which is now done. You will find that your jokes are still there (several of them, though, told only one time) but the first-person emphasis is greatly minimized. Spıke ¬ 13:50 20-Apr-11

Thanks Spike for the editing. That being said, you missed the talk on my page...I should have told you about it. All that editorial material was stuff at the heart of what I was trying to say...and I was considering turning it into an UnBook to avoid conflict with UnNews style. I dont really know where to go from here now cause while it is a good news story now, its not really what I wanted to do. --ShabiDOO 15:27, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Spikey, Im going to turn this into an UnBook. Your edits are not for nought, I will incorporate many a things you suggested into the UnBook and will have it ready soon. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!!! --ShabiDOO 16:05, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Let me dump the current version into UnNews. You are free to continue developing it as an UnBook--There is no rule against using the same material several times. Spıke ¬ 17:02 20-Apr-11

Spike...if you really want to dump it into UnNews...then please wait a couple days so I can do a few things with it. The election is still a couple weeks away and we will have to find a way to compromise about some of this material. --ShabiDOO 17:09, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Well, that was sure a quick negotiation! but the result seems fine. When moving to UnNews an article you have worked on for a while, create a new article and copy-paste the text into it. Recent news is sorted by creation date and no one is ever going to see your article. I'll correct this now. Spıke ¬ 12:00 21-Apr-11

PS--I had to change the name slightly to get the "new" article to go in. Spıke ¬ 12:13 21-Apr-11

I never saw it as a negotiation. In any case, Im going away for the Easter Weekend so I wanted to do it now. Thanks for the editing. --ShabiDOO 16:40, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

No. suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --ShabiDOO 16:52, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

Cancelling a Pee Review

Hi! I'm kinda confuss.... I reviewed an article on the pee review HowTo:Beat Shaq and then clicked on Tom Waits to lurk only to find out it removed the folder thing in front of said article. Does that mean I "promised" to review the article as said on the page? The problem is I don't know who the heck Tom Waits is, so I won't review it. Mattsnow (talk) 22:52, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

I have only done 6 reviews in my life and now have a niche doing UnNews reviews. I think ChiefjusticeDS is your Admin, and I predict he will honor a request to withdraw a promise to perform a Pee Review rather than submit a poor one. Spıke ¬ 23:02 20-Apr-11

Ok cool. Mattsnow (talk) 23:06, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hmm...

I'm curious; why do you capitalise 'Admin'? 1234 ~ 02:08, 21 April 2011

I would because I randomly capitalize. But I believe Spike capitalizes all titles, be they Colonel, President, Senator as a matter of course. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 02:20, April 21, 2011 (UTC)

UnNews:Man goes over Niagara Falls in teacup

I know first person journalistic accounts aren't the norm on UnNews, but this one wrote itself and I had no control over it. What the fuck is wrong with me? Aleister 11:15 22-4-'11

I've already mercy-moved one this morning (Lollipop on a boy losing his sailboat), so that is out of my system and your article is safe. I saw the motivation for this one on VFD--writing an article around a photo is common and welcome. Unfortunately, it can't complete with Boehner the Bozo. There is a bumper crop of stories this morning. Spıke ¬ 11:20 22-Apr-11

Thanks. Bumper crop, just like at Disneyland! Wheeeeeeeeeee! Aleister 11:26 22-4-'11

FACEPALM Spıke ¬ 11:29 22-Apr-11

Hee hee. And since I fixed the red link on the main page to the plankton article, and added a cool reference to Earth Day on the Teacup page, I took the extreme liberty of rewarding myself for the redlink fix by adding said story to the main page. I'll see if I can improve it a bit more. Thanks for the facepalm, always a good tang. Aleister 16:02 22-4-'11

Latios and Latias

Code Brown, Dr. Spike to O.R., stat! I've come across a particular article that is probably close to VFD-material as it stands: Latios and Latias. It's mostly gamecruft, but it's been written in a most ingenious style: a radio talk show.

I'm working on a rewrite for UnScripts, trying to make it as real and deadpan as possible. The trick for something like this is to make it accessible to people who know absolutely nothing about that Pokemon thing. I happen to have a working knowledge of it, but writing this sort of thing is risky--one can end up with something worse than it was when he started. Would you mind helping me take on this project? Your dry brand of humor is exactly what this article needs.

I'll be in the operating room for the time being, so just give your response to any nurse you see, and she'll make sure I get it immediately.

Now where was I... Ah, yes! Nurse? Scalpel... -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 04:20, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Oh my bleepin' eyes. Too much trite self-reference, such as all of Section 1. Look at me! I'm writing an Uncyclopedia article! The chaos that might result if two mischievous toys were allowed in the broadcast studio might be funny but wouldn't be deadpan. (Be sure what you write is really humor rather than a public playing-with-dolls.) I can't be bothered figuring out the article's color-code, although I'm sure there's an explanation. You have added a slap at Glenn Beck, well-written, rather off-topic but everyone will forget in a month. Substitute Rush Limbaugh and have the announcer contrive to figure out how Limbaugh's audience will be interested in what he is about to do. Don't we have Latin because that part of Italy was originally known as Latium? That's got to be where these two get their names. There's also a role for the DJ to get it wrong and call them Latino/Latina.

Okay. I get the color-code now. Let's see: the encyclopedia author, who is now a DJ, is trying to give you the history of these characters, but one of them keeps interrupting him. Breaks the encyclopedia canon completely--which I don't mind, if there is a payoff, but I don't see it yet. Whether or not it is understandable to non-Pokémon fans is the least of your problems. Spıke ¬ 12:54 23-Apr-11

No need to worry about the color code, as it will be nixed from the article when I'm done with it. That Latino thing crossed my mind, but I was a little wary of how to implement it without appearing tasteless. I think your idea will work nicely.

I know there is way too much self-reference here, and the article could actually be shorter, methinks. The long history of the two characters (and Venice) is pretty much unnecessary, but the part about Latias just wanting to be the protagonist's girlfriend in the movie is really what interests me. Long story short, in the movie, "Ash" is a supposed ten or twelve year old boy who has to save Latios and Latias, as well as a now-uninhabited Venice (bad guys did it, naturally). What has potential for comedy here is when Latias takes the form of an adolescent girl, and their mannerisms together become very suggestive for a children's program. Bringing this aspect of the film to the front of the stage might give us something not-unlike a Saturday Night Live skit. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 20:52, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Sounds like you are proceeding with the right instincts. No one minds tastelessness. My rule, when discussing the hot-button issues such as race, is to make sure it is playful and can't be mistaken for hateful. You can even use stereotypes of behavior, just make sure they are not the basis for humor but that it ties in with something else.

Venice, Italy, or Venice, California, or some dazed mix? Latias is the girl and Latios is the boy? Or are they plural? Or am I thinking like a Latino? Spıke ¬ 21:04 23-Apr-11

{{Insert stereotype here}}. The Venice in the film is actually a look-alike for the Italian one, going by some forgettable placeholder name (which has potential for comedy in itself). Latias is a girl, Latios is a boy, both siblings of indeterminable ages. Being "Legendary Pokemon" they can shapeshift and other magical stuff. Latias takes center stage, showing suggestive interest in the human protagonist ("Ashy-kins" as the article calls him), while Latios is just kind of there. He plays a sort of knight-in-shining-armor role later in the film, but he's mostly flat.

It's been a while since I saw the movie, which is why I changed the title template to read "Broadcast log (movie release date, 2006)." It was a direct-to-video anime from sometime around 2005, which means it's probably faded off the radar long enough for me to take substantial liberties with it. I'm thinking of writing this one similar to what we did with Serenity, getting progressively more outlandish in first-person speech. I was thinking this could end with Why did you let them in the studio!?, the two characters getting into a sibling rivalry-type argument and trashing the studio with their magic. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 01:18, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

You can always take liberties with anything on this website. But note that your own conceptual underpinning for your article ("movie release date, 2006") is secondary to making the resulting page jump out at a reader who might not share your knowledge. I, for instance, glossed over your explanation, and hope to read the result without the coaching but as a random reader might. Spıke ¬ 01:26 24-Apr-11

UnNews:Many new superheroes appear in Japan

Thanks for your feedback on this. As you might have guessed, I wrote the article in German first for German UnNews and conveyed it to English later. Some of the style issues might have to do with that. We are not so strict in style in German UnNews and I consider it allowable to break down the fourth wall at times and address the reader directly. (In fact, I think that there is only one thing you are not allowed to do in satire, and that is to bore your audience). However, the article might be improved if the last sentence were changed to a quote of some important personage. If you can think of a suitable speaker, feel free to do that. Happy Easter! NaturalBornKieler (talk) 08:59, April 24, 2011 (UTC)

First person POV UnNews

I'm writing another story and, as much as I've tried to keep it conventional, it's just not funny unless it comes out like my "That thing in the sky is the moon" one from a couple of weeks ago; it's got a very self conscious and opinionated reporter who isn't exactly objective. I know that you didn't agree with where I put the moon story, and I agree completely that it doesn't fit in UnNews. So where should this kind of story go? I read for the first time looked over the UnNews:Style Guide and I'm thinking maybe an editorial? What do you think? ~  Talk 19:15, 25 April 2011 (UTC)

Update: I managed to tackle the story from a different angle and make it all "newsy", but the question still stands for any first person stories I make in the future, which are bound to happen. ~  Talk 21:01, 25 April 2011 (UTC)

What I think about Take 1 is that the problem is not so much the first person than that it is, in its own words, "absolutely nothing extraordinary." Take 2 more nearly fits the form of a news story, but it's not very funny, apart from the double-play on the word "screwed." It is wry commentary rather than humor. You need a blog for this stuff.

The Style Guide is where our collective minds stand on writing in the voice of a specific person. I am still less likely to do it up in a Front Page graphic than the traditional news story, as the joke I am telling on the Front Page is that of a self-important news organization that just, unfortunately, gets everything wrong. Spıke ¬ 23:30 25-Apr-11

As you were typing this, I was posting this. Where do you think I should go with the first person style, then? Or does Uncyc really have a place for it? ~  Talk 23:35, 25 April 2011 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia has a lot of stuff in the first person. I even wrote one once. The only real role for the first person in UnNews is if the said first person is a person whom people will recognize, and will recognize that an article is written in the opinion of that person. Spıke ¬ 23:51 25-Apr-11

Your submission to UnNews is much more fleshed-out than the draft that I read. But the comedy theme is not the play on "screwed" but the evaluation of a newborn on crass economic terms (as when Off the Wall Street Journal reported that Milton and Rose Friedman dined together and one gave the other the spare piece of steak--specifying the price). The social commentary gets in the way of the humor--Indeed, it comes up in the political debate both on the tax code and on immigration that one reason to keep the US population growing is that we need someone to pay for our Social Security. That's totally serious. I might be able to get a graphic out of this, if the WiFi holds up in tonight's drizzle. Spıke ¬ 23:51 25-Apr-11

PS--Upon further review, you have three of the five slots anyway! 23:56 25-Apr-11 I've cited it on the Uncyclopedia main page, but your oldest (ED) is in the 1-Spot, and the new one doesn't knock it out of there. Spıke ¬ 00:00 26-Apr-11

The problem with the first person if the person is not notorious is: Why is his opinion newsworthy? and why would he be the voice of UnNews? If you have an answer to the first question, you can, to your heart's content, have the reporter interview the guy and bring out his opinions in quotations. Kip the Dip did an UnNews that went to VFH interviewing an abortion patient who bore a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. Spıke ¬ 00:19 26-Apr-11

Do your research

<font> is depreciated. Don't use it. Use <span style="color:whatevercolor;">text</span> instead. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:57 Apr 26, 2011

Mithraism

Thanks for your recent critical input on Mithraism. You're right, Spike, I like riddling, in the sense of engaging people's curiosity. Having been trying to find the right balance between too few "clues" and too many... Kalidosa 23:04, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

OK. To answer your question on the other talk page, I did read the article all the way through; and my only constructive comment--my idea on a comedy strategy--I had given earlier. On how best to structure your riddle: If I were doing this, I would use the intro to hint to the reader that Mithraism was (whatever) despite having a faction that was excessively didactic. Then the reader will understand where all the strikethrough (saved for the main text of the article) is coming from. Spıke ¬ 23:07 26-Apr-11

"Didactic" is a good word... I agree that the strikethrough needed to be explained at the beginning. Which I've done now, tho in a different way. Your other suggestion (about 1st saying it has lots of influence, and then presenting evidence that it didn't) was very relevant too - what I've done is kind of the same, except for being the exact opposite.Kalidosa 12:03, April 27, 2011 (UTC)

Awkward rant of sorts

Hi, Spike. It's kind of ironic, really... you get banned for being a dick, and of course people take the opportunity to be as dickish as they can while you're not able to respond, or do anything, or counter it in any form, but maybe that's a good thing... perhaps they'll have gotten it out of their systems, now. Meantime, I'll just drop some thoughts and opinions here; make of them what you will... or don't.

What has happened with/been done to UnNews, perhaps it bodes well, or seems to, at least; I've been hiding from most of it, but my point is, I hope you'll stick with that and just not be so close to it, you know? Because you don't have to; this proves it. I think. Guide the dealy, but stand back more and let folks do their things... more. I mean, you've seen all the terrible articles people make in mainspace that just sit for years, not bad enough to {{ICU}}, but not anything people ever care to do anything with, either. It's not the end of the world if established users make meh, especially as those seem to be which cause the most issue. The more obvious crap, however, qvfd type stuff... if it wasn't for your moving the noobs' puhh out... eh. Folks complain about you being too controlling, rigid, unchanging and unaccepting, etc, so stand back, prove them wrong... Okay, so maybe I'm just hoping you'll be able to make all the people complaining about you this past week look like complete idiots because it'd amuse me greatly, but... hey, why not? *shifty eyes*

But that's just UnNews... frankly, I've missed having you around in general, especially on VFD, and whatever people might say about you being a dick there, they're idiots. You provide actual reasons, instead of just insulting the voters on the opposite side of the cell like some people I could mention tend to. I miss actual reasons. I'm too lazy to come up with some myself, you see. So, er... yeah. If you don't come back after this, I'll be very upset with you. 1234 ~ 23:04, 4 May 2011

I totally missed this ban. SPIKE, what happened? I can't believe that someone would ban you, and, if I may remind Lithheraya or however the name is spelled, you can unban him now at a moment's notice. Yay Powwa! Aleister 23:07 4-5-'11

I haven't been on as much this week, and did miss your ban. Maybe because I haven't put up any new UnNews until today. Seems unfair, because a rugged news editor has to be a dick, it's expected of a journalist running an office. So yeah, let this run off your back like gasoline off a duck. Aleister minutes later

Lyrith has a wonderful knack for good akward comments. I tried to stick up for you a couple times and was told basically to shut up and that the admins decisions are golden (while i appologised for being insistant and insinuating things it doesnt mean i agreed at all with the process or that it was a fair exchange). Ive decided to no longer vote on any of these administrative things because of it much like VFD and to avoid unpleasant exchanges in the future and so hey, one more good thing to come out of it. I really hope you can brush it off...being banned is a shitty feeling and I empathise to say the least but I also hope it gave you time away from this site to do stuff...I got an extra hours research done during the 24 hour ban i had this week. I hope when you come back, you try to maintain your really high standards and editing suggestions and help people including myself with your editing wonders...and at the same time take what was said about give and take and what not etc which you know...well...you know...plplp. Its a happy miracle that there isnt a million times more drama on a website by a bunch of adults dedicated to making fun of everything. And to finish the fourth instalment of this akward rant...I just let out a silent but toxic fart ;) --ShabiDOO 23:39, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

• Aside from all the drama, I've really missed your insights on VFD. Uncyc just isn't the same without you. UnNews has done reasonably well without your guidance, but I liked it better before--I think it was much more cohesive. Just know that your efforts around here have not gone unappreciated, and I'll be waiting here when you get back! Cheers, Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 00:01 May 5, 2011 (UTC)

Despite the hypocrisy of our userbase in being a dick to SPIKE, let's not lose sight of the important bit - SPIKE is going to need some serious attitude improvements if he's going to stick around. Srsly. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:36 May 05, 2011

One thing about Spike that got my goat was how he always inferred author's motives as a legitimate reason to criticize. As a way of approaching someone's work or style, it's really insulting and assumes bad faith. As a way of balls, it dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks dicks. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:09, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

I can't say I like this attitude, either. 1234 ~ 01:34, 5 May 2011

So then what do you like? Is it so criminal to address something dickish that someone does? We're all here to make people laugh on a comedy site, but when Spike (or anyone else, I've seen multiple people do this) decides to vote delete/against on an article because he assumes the author "created it solely for his own benefit" or "to spite another user" or "to game the rules of a competition," it's just downright insulting. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 01:37, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

That's your opinion. But that's all we have, really... opinions. Before you added that last bit, however, I was in agreement with most of what you were saying, just not how you were saying it, which is exactly what I meant, and now all I can say is that if an author does do any of those things and it does not come out funny, then of course it should be deleted; what are you talking about? If it comes out funny, it's less of an issue, of course, but who can really say what funny even is? We speak only for ourselves. I am speaking for myself right now. Only myself. I don't know anyone else. I don't even know myself. 1234 ~ 01:49, 5 May 2011

Wha? Spike is a dick to me most of the time, and since he is and I know it, it's no big deal. It's just who he is, and his way of discussing articles. In the process he has carried UnNews on his shoulders ever since Zim ran off to join the circus, and has greatly assisted VFD by rewriting and saving dozens of articles. So I personally don't get this ban, becasuse SPIKE is SPIKE and we just have to give at least one of our number enough rope to both hang himself and tie-up lots of loose ends on the site. He's one of our best users, for sure, imnho. Aleister 2:37 5-5-'11

Good to have you back. Things aren't the same when you're not around and I'm looking forward to working together again, though preferably a less overly particular version 2.0. ~  Talk 02:59, 5 May 2011 (UTC)

Aleister, I don't get it either. He likely would be an admin right now if he hadn't turned down the nomination so many times. IMHO, a one week ban is exceedingly harsh for someone who does so much around here--it makes it look like we don't appreciate his efforts. But then again, opinions are like something else we all have... *_~ (I hate drama--modern family dramas ruined television!).

In any case, I'm looking forward to working with him again; I still need his help on that Pokeyman rewrite. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 03:50 May 5, 2011 (UTC)

Spike has been on gardening leave this past week. Since my own three day ban from a certain amphibian in 2010, I keep watch on who gets the Black Spot these days.--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 09:14, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

PICTURE STUFF

Mr S, theres a picture competition in the making, its here and Im looking for people to nominate chopped and unchopped Photos from 2010. Could you please think of a nice picture that was in an UnNews that is worthy of being nominated please!? Like for real? Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers. --ShabiDOO 01:54, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

One of the greats

I came across Composure1's user page, and he was one of the great journalists in UnNews history. Well over 200 UnNews articles. Hadn't read his stuff before, and I'll look thru some of these. Have you see his pages? I'm wondering how many users have over, say, 100 quality UnNews pages. Funnybony, of course, and this Composure guy. Probably a few others, but that may be an interesting list. Aleister 16:27 6-5-'11

Just wanted to say...

WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!

I just hope you haven't decided to leave us. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 22:58 May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Knoodle says blinking text is depreciated. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:14, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 23:24 May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Knoodle says licking things are fine --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:42, May 6, 2011 (UTC)

Hi Spike. Trust you will return. There's a lot of greenfly on some of your regular haunts. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:12, May 7, 2011 (UTC)

SPIKE, unless you've suicided (it's painless!) you have to be checking your talk page from time to time. So at least give us a word or two. If you leave because of what occurred then the terrorists win. I'm thinking you would be hesitating on coming back because you don't want to change who you are and not be forced to express your views in softer tones and less harse language. I, for three, think you should be able to speak your mind as you've always done, and not be muzzled. But come back and fight the good fight if you must. Or, or, I'm scared to say this, SPIKE may have been posting from Pakistan, just passing the time while sitting in two barren rooms, and may not be with us nos more. Aleister 22:49 7-5-'11

I hope Spike's not dead. WHY DOES EVERYONE LEAVE ME!!!! I have an entire list of users that stayed around then left without trace. AARRRGGGHHH. Guess he adds to the list of dead users, along with Bevanz, MrN, Happytimes, and tons of others. We should have an UnFuneral service. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:34, 13 May 2011

Fiddle heads! Fiddle heads!! COME BACK SPIKE COME BACK SPIKE Fiddle Heads!! Fiddle heads! COME BACK SPIKEY COME BACK SPIKEY!!! --ShabiDOO 01:56, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

I'm sorry, Shabs. SPIKE is up there making UnNews audio for the Uncyclopedia in the sky. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:23, 13 May 2011

But momy said he was just going to the farm for a weeked :( --ShabiDOO 02:32, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

Uh...I think that's what she said about Happymonkey39 also. I remember what she said: "He'll be back in *snif* a week,he's just *snif* going to the farm to visit Uncle *snif snif* Dan". -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:34, 13 May 2011

But...happy monkey is still there isn't he? He has a big white dog house by the river no!? --ShabiDOO 02:36, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

Surely he will be missed...--Respond 02:37, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:59, 13 May 2011

The Spike is not Dead,

for the The "risen" Spike has appeared to me in a vision and said Kevillips why have you forsaken me?. I was struck blind for three days and three nights and have received the spirit of The Spike in my brain. I strive for perfect spelling and grammar. Perfection in just enough explanatory clauses and phrases to help the reader but not hinder flow. I strive to be a follower of The book as it was and as it is. --K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 19:57, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

If it makes you feel any better

I made Zombiebaron the villain in my latest project, and I promise to make it as insulting as possible. --Scofield 16:50, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

It will only make me feel better, if it is done solely as a parody/satire and in a non-dick way. This was somewhat the motivation behind a very recent article of mine :) --ShabiDOO 18:47, May 13, 2011 (UTC)

If you read the contents of my project, you'll find that that's precisely how I have treated it. Heck, I didn't even know SPIKE had been banned when I made this. --Scofield 07:38, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

I like your concept, Sco. I'll try something like that. It will be a story that features Uncyclopedians. Hey, Scofield, Shabidoo,l wanna be protaganists? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:45, 14 May 2011

SPIKE will always have a place at the editors desk

Although SPIKE has laid down his press card, given his tip-and-lead book to the Smithstonian, and decided that a life painting his outhouse is better than one publishing the faux news articles of clowns and deviants, we can still wish him well. Here is a song in honor of SPIKE gone missing, by his favorite singer (SPIKE would often have him over for dinner, and they'd sing together, in the parking lot in front of the outhouse), the communist Pete Seeger. Aleister 11:33 14-5-'11

SPIKE has appeared to me too

Spike appeared to me in a vision last night. This is what he said:L

Fear not, Uncyclopedians, for I will be watching over all UnNews articles. Avenge me.

-- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 15:48, 14 May 2011

DO NOT AVENGE HIM! I repeat, DO NOT AVENGE HIM! Unless you want to get banned in his honor, that is. --Scofield 15:52, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

What the hell is wrong with you people? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:13 May 14, 2011

I ain't going to avenge the bastard. He's unbanned, why dosen't he just come to say hi. SPIKE IS DEAD. SID. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:40, 14 May 2011

I saw him in a vision. I was eating some chocolate cake a friend brought me from Amsterdam. Spike called out to me and said "Help, my wi-fi router is down and there are no internet cafés in New Hampshire". I didnt know what to think of it. --ShabiDOO 17:42, May 14, 2011 (UTC)

SPIKE, speak from the great beyond

There is much activity on the UnNews front, in forums and a new czar and a committee which I've just heard of, to work on UnNews until you come back. Please come back soon, or at least tell us your are on vacation and will be back. Hope things are going well, and that you are still doing audios somewhere, for the neighborhood kids perhaps. Aleister3:48 24-5-'11

Not a czar, a grounds keeper.--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 07:36, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

Spike has finished spraying the aphids. There are other pests in the garden to deal with, those ones may require specialised equipment. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 08:22, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

The grounds keeper continues the work.--K evilLips MUN,CM,NS,3of7 08:30, May 24, 2011 (UTC)

Hi SPIKE

Well, you may have noticed that I have recently made a re-appearance on the Wiki. I have been putting my head around the door over the last year or so from time to time, and it was always awesome to see that you were still around and doing great things. Anyway, I noticed that recently you have been involved in some "difficult situations" and that you appear to have left the site for a short while. Anyway, I'm just here to add my comment to those above who would like to see you return. I respect what you have been doing here at Uncyclopedia a great deal. Really. MrN 12:32, May 24

/wanders by. sees no movement. kicks at a dry cactus. scorpions seemed to have occupied the sand. birds fly overhead, faces like carrion but gentler. looks around again. nothing on the horizon. wanders away. aleister 00:39 6-6-'11

/wanders by, notices Al's footprints, slinks off again. Pup 12:47 06 Jun '11

I miss a certain strong voice. *fiddles with the footprints and waders off* 1234 ~ 01:00, 6 June 2011

/I miss having someone give me that in your face feedback, ideas, corrections, on demand, no holds bar. Stratches ears. Sticks around. Waiting. --ShabiDOO 01:34, June 6, 2011 (UTC)

Nobody's checked the Dog Pound, have they? -- >> Hello, my name is Sir Lollipop, and I am Canadian! 00:27, 8 June 2011