User:Argylesocks

and then i ate the whole bowl of potatoes!

I made this account to edit all of the old articles I wrote. My sense of humor is constantly evolving, and I believe that so should these pieces. I have invested a lot of time into this site - by most accounts, too much. Maybe it's the burden of knowing it's such a large investment, or maybe it's the pride of authorial ownership, but I feel it necessary to check in every once in a while and bring the ol' articles up to code.

Aside from that, I still stand by all the reasons why I quit before. It's just that, for the first time in a long time, I've been incredibly, unfathomably bored. So here I am.

Ephemera

please dont ask me about my grand Uncyclopedia retrospective project that i will never finish. the bottom line is that all of us were racist and SPIKE killed the site.

I wrote these and, most likely, they will be the last those that I will ever write around these parts. If you want to know what else I'm writing right now, ask me! I've got a huge dick and like to stroke it so if you ever want to ask me about anything else, including my long and storied Uncyclopedia career, do that too.

Consider me, in my current state, the really old dude with really long nose hairs who sits on top of a mountain in a loincloth and dispenses wisdom while somehow not freezing to death.

This is still my favorite article ever.

My favorite article that I wrote is either Chicks or the Milton Babbitt trilogy. I'd be lying if I said anything besides Antifreeze was the funniest, though.

Fun Fact! Filial Piety is, content-wise, probably among my least favorite of my own articles. Looking back, I wrote some deeply flawed articles inextricably centered around easy jokes on topics like misogyny, incest, and transphobia without much (if any) satirical value. While I've come to regret the content of these articles, the cult of Filial Piety still makes me laugh, though, especially considering that I barely hold the article itself in any esteem at all. It goes to show that you really can make something out of nothing, sometimes.

I highly resent that a place that is the home to so many good memories, and an inordinate amount of time from my youth, can also be equal parts cesspool of gutter-ambition racist jokes, misogyny, and all the fixin's. I resent, and regret, even more that I took part in the worst of it with equal vigor. But I guess that's kinda how it rolls when you join a site at 15 (peak "white kid just entering high school, being asshole, discovering vent for worst impulses on shiny new internet" years) and watch yourself literally grow in a series of tens of thousands of edits. It still shocks me though, the shit that I said as recently as 2012 on here. Uncyclopedia, and the things you imprint on here, really cannot be outgrown, no matter how hard you pull on the vines snaking around your ankles, or try to pull its barb out of your tongue.