“NEVER! THERE IS ONLY ONE BENSON!”
“Holy crap he's cool! I hope I can grow up to be just like him.”
~ User:Benson on BENSON
BENSON has decided that BENSON's pure greatness can, in fact, be contained on a puny “userpage” (just barely). Furthermore anyone who edits this page besides BENSON himself shall be cursed with the curse of BENSON... a fine curse indeed.
Name: BENSON (ALWAYS IN CAPS)
Height: 100' tall
Weight: 1 pound (BENSON works out)
Political Views: COMMUNISM!!!
Relations: Just his 28 wives and girlfriends... and Pa and Ma BENSON... and Nana BENSON
Pet: Pond Whale: Coco (may he rest in pieces)
Facial Hair: Two beards in one! What a discount!
Skin: Invisible Metal
Planet: From the vile land of Wikipedia
Views on Fawwaz: All negative
Claims on Creation: YOU ALL CAME FROM BENSON'S COUCH!
One day a woman was giving birth to a baby. A baby destined for greatness. That is when BENSON came to Earth in a meteorite which crashed into the hospital where the baby was being born. BENSON aimed for the hospital... HAHAHA! Let that teach you a lesson: nobody is born on the same day BENSON is.
People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It
Bio Chapter 2
BENSON was raised by himself. Baby BENSON didn't need help. Baby BENSON was 8' tall at age 2, and was already superior to you! Interesting side note: BENSON is part God. Also, BENSON is the Hulk. When BENSON was born, there were many bad omens. The Pope died. Also, the show Alf premiered. Speaking of Alf,
More People Who Messed With BENSON... And Lived To Regret It
That is all.
People Who have Messed With BENSON... And BENSON is plotting his revenge
People Who Have Messed With BENSON... and BENSON can't do anything about it
People Who Think They Have Messed With BENSON, So They Add Their Own Names To This Page (I know, isn't that pathetic?)
- Dawg (he did it twice!)
- CrazyJay he figured if he were to put his name anywhere else, it'd just end up here, so he saved BENSON the trouble and put himself right here. (wasn't that nice of him?)
- Hippie13 He has a friend named Benson, so he messes with him all the time...
- Tayor (she just doesn't like the name Benson.)
- Halsoft I just want to prtetend that I made fun of Benson... please don't kill me.
- BieberAxeKiller I kinda wanted to do it...but then I chickened out at his almighty greatness.
Hail Communism! Glory to the New Canadian Order that is the CPC! BENSON wants world Communism and good will towards men. Kinda like Santa. But with no presents! BENSON HATES presents...
Things that have been dedicated to BENSON
FART HOLES (League of Benson)
This is a League of puny weakling monkeys who understand that Benson is better than them, and wish to help him (although BENSON doesn't need help, per se). Here are the members:
- Surreal Hamster
- Witt E,
- Czar Yah
- Electrified mocha chinchilla
- Todd Lyons
- Einstein 145
- Gustav, who is now SysRq
- High General Grue
- The Humbled Master
- Citation Needed
- Eat Moneyz
People who got permabanned for sticking with the League
People alligned with BENSON but are too smart to join the League
People in the Minor League of Benson :)
The Minor League is mainly for children of League members. Once they're old enough, Minor Leaguers are promoted to the big boy League!
- Ikke - Current Leader
TRAITORS TO THE LEAGUE OF BENSON
People think BENSON is Black just because he's so awesome, but this is untrue. BENSON's real skin colour is invisible.
News Article with BENSON!
The Internets -- The arrival of BENSON is one that has been welcomed by many members of Uncyclopedia. This mysterious entity only known as BENSON arrived at the Village Dump to let Uncyclopedians know of his arrival and wishes to be nominated for Noob of the Month.
First on the scene was Savethemooses who noted "Hey guys, BENSON is here." Nintendorulez was immensely amazed at Savethemooses amazing intuition. Most other members have reacted positively to BENSON'S arrival.
BENSON later posted his thanks on the warm reception that he received from Uncylopedians. He said "BENSON THANKS YOU! BENSON IS GLAD PUNY RULERS OF THIS LAND APPROVE OF HIS RAMPANT RANTING! HE LIKES THIS LAND BETTER THEN PUNY OTHER WEBSITE WIKIPEDIA! THEY DID NOT APPROVE OF BENSON'S GLORY." Uncyclopedians were truly grateful that Uncyclopedia's nemesis, Wikipedia, did not approve of BENSON'S glory. As now BENSON has joined their community.
BENSON has revealed not much about himself to us. All that has been revealed is that he "despises Santa and his presents, but has a soft spot for the Easter Bunny" and that he will one day take over the Earth and kill many innocent people (hopefully all at once). These facts have not angered many Uncyclopedians.
THIS ARTICLE WAS DELETED BUT IT LIVES ONWARDS IN HERE!
In conclusion, BENSON will one day take over the Earth and kill many innocent people (hopefully all at once).
|LORD FLUFFY WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE HEAVENS HATH GIVEN THIS USER THE GOLDEN FILM AWARD; THIS USER KNOWS ENTIRELY TOO MANY MOVIE QUOTES, AND IS IN NEED OF A LIFE.|
'Sup. --03:31, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
- Hey Cainad, nothing much. Look, I know it's not a big deal, but can you just talk to me on my talk page, not my userpage? Thanks man you're the best. Benson 23:25, 20 December 2008 (UTC)