User:Witt E,

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This page is likely to be eaten by a grue.

We suggest you protect yourself or stitch its mouth shut  before it eats you too.

This article is a complete, irredeemable aviator. The submitter is Bat Fuck Insane, attacks at the right buttock, and is an unfunny chronic masturbator.
If you attempt to taste this,  you will most thoroughly flagellate yourself.
Or the submitter will pwnify your Zelda!!!!!!


This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia.
They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move.

Happy UnBirthday!

You have now officially been an Uncyclopedia member for one full year. Must suck to be you!

I writ 17 articles so far[edit]

  • Whirlpool- This is my second article, written as an outcry against the boring wikipedia page.
  • Catapult- (huffed, this was my first article too, I actually thought that admins checked up on NRV at that time, but it was automated and flammable ignored my inquiry on his talk page).
  • JUG- Inspired from school, possibly my 3rd.
  • Will- From the war phrase "Fire at Will!", I thought of Will as a person, hated passionately by army leaders.
  • GameSpot (Rewrite)- As a member and leader of the Uncyclopedia Union, the previous version I was ashamed of and I rewrote it.
  • PlayStation 3 (Rewrite)- Was another piss poor videogame article as a result of Sony's E3 disappointment. I did a heavy rewrite, had some content and formatting quirks added by Bloodrage and anons.
  • Douglas Adams (Rewrite)- Ahh Douglas, author of my favorite comedy books. I noticed his page was terrible and I took a crack at a rewrite in Douglas' style.
  • Giant enemy plant- Obviously from Giant enemy crab fiasco after Sony's E3 fallout, instead of the more obvious route, I realized that there were a lot of giant enemy plants rooted in video game history. So that's mainly what the topic covers.
  • Typoglycemia- Saw it on Wikipedia, actually sort of uninspired, but hey, it's a fine self-reference.
  • Big Dumb Object- These things always get so much attention in movies, even when really, this is all that it is.
  • Proportion- From the phase "Blowing it out of Proportion", eventually I brainstormed Proportion as a weapon, and after catapults failure I put a medieval spin on it and made it about a cannon.
  • Mousetrap- I totally forgot this one existed, nevertheless the article concerns the mousetrap as an animal, like the gazebo is.
  • Chainsaw- I own a copy of Gears of War now, so this was the result of playing it a bit really, and a good chainsaw article was overdue.
  • World War What- A vague occurance of an article, with various puns scattered about. Not much is known, but it certainly is confusing.
  • HowTo:Fend Off Wild Animals- My first HowTo:, it's not that great, but I felt like making a HowTo:. My next HowTo: should be better.
  • Flamethrower (Rewrite)- I submitted this under Best Pictures in '07s PLS. I was unsure whether to put it in Rewrite or not, but since Best Pics had only 4 entries at the time, I went with that. It's currently the only article I wrote to have images in it that were edited by me. I quite like it...
  • Alicia Witt- I had an option of writing Ludwig Wittgenstein or Alicia Witt, but User:Wittgenstein already wrote Wittgenstein 2 years ago, so minor actress Alicia Witt it was. It's short and stupid, like her. You can call it self reference, I call it self-reference.

UnNews: Articles I wrote[edit]

Articles I helped out noticeably[edit]

Miner Contribution's[edit]

Stuff I've chiseled away at. Touch-up, sentence additions, speeling and grammur fixings, deletion of the unfunny, links, template add or move ect.

Tar pit[edit]

Tar pit

Image gallery[edit]


Date of birth[edit]

February 28th, on User:Witt E. Which I forgot the password to.

Signature (no touching)[edit]

User:Witt E,/sig