Thunderstorm

“RIDE IT!”

– Metallica on Lightning

“Omnes qui hoc limen transgrediuntur, carnem suam vorandam, ossa sua in pulverem redacta, animamque suam in nihilum damnandam reperient… sub manu daemonium Mrotsrednuht”

– Some astraphobe who only fears the irl thunderstormy stuff on Thunderstorm

“I'm gonna grab my kite to this”

– Benjamin Franklin on Thunderstorm

This well-developed thunderstorm that produces intermittent showers has been working on its act for many years.

Thunderstorms (aka "Thunder" or "Lightning" or "Satan's best friend that punishes and destroys places" or simply "This demon ruins your day" or mostly known as "Mrotsrednuht", or officially known as "Demon Lord Thunderstorm") are deadly, constant, and scariest second natural disasters in the world that punishes the entire earth (yes, actually). While volcanoes are the first natural disasters occur on earth! Thunderstorms can turn from nice fresh oxygen to unbreathable ozone quickly! Also this disaster is frequently mistaken as "rain" because not all thunderstorms produce precipitation, thunderstorms are only about clouds, light and sound.

These unforeseen evil terra-ists bastards are the punishers and destroyers of almost all countries and continents of the world! Sweeping across the nation on a daily basis (especially in summertime!). This disaster easily ruin anyone's day by a single low-pitched demonic laughter-like satanic sound (which is called "Thunderstorm" (shortened as "Thunder")) which is only exclusive for clouds! (making it Satan's official friend its because how Thunderstorms make satanic noises!). These can kill people by dropping some too much feet of snow or many much bunch liters of rain! Most of these produce intermittent on and off showers! No one is ever safe and we (and everyone) should constantly fear them! Remember, with each flash or sound, a new small cloud is born and instantly darken by 0.02-0.85%. With each sound, precipitation gets harder. However if you find yourself humming while listening to the ominous rhythm of the storm, feel free to run about sheeplessly in an open field where there are cows. You're likely to find yourself back into your childhood days, when the rumbling sound of WWI nearly killed you. Remember?

This natural disaster is only produced by Cumulonimbus clouds, These ominous puffy clouds happens when above process occurs with Killer Sheep! Sometimes they will rarely evolve into a Hurricane! (in extreme rare case, they will turn into a Super Typhoon!)

What precipitation these unforeseen events produce?

A thunderstorm producing rain showers without any thunderstormy stuff

Since not all of them produce precipitation (all of the precipitation they produce are ALL showery and intermittent)

• Nothing - If a thunderstorm produces no precipitation at all but thunderstormy stuff and cause dead silence (all silent except the evil scary demonic thunderstorm sound that laughs at you.) which made animals don't make noise in the event of a dead silence. this is called a "Thunderstorm"
• Rain - Most of them do produce dumping on-and-off rain showers that kill thousands of people by simply dropping 0.1 inch on anyone's heads! These thunderstorms that produce this showery precipitation is called "Thunderrain"
• Snow - People were staying indoors once a thunderstorm starts, but and then followed a light snow flurry outside during a thunderstorm, then each sound, makes the thunderstorm severe and worse. then followed by more brutal dumping pile of snow mounds. Thanks for the snow for muffling that demonic noise. If you see this in the forecast location, then Jim Cantore come to the forecasted location. These thunderstorms that also produce this showery precipitation is called "Thundersnow"
• Sleet - If a thunderstorm produces sleet and they become more L O U D A N D A P O C A L Y P T I C as a thunderstorm encounters sleet shower. These thunderstorms that produce sleet showers are called "Thundersleet"

Hazards

Tornadoes

Deadly anywhere

Tornado sirens are responsible for these hell carousels called tornadoes! These rip through towns, villages and even cities! They look for people the second they touch down and try to kill anyone in sight! You cannot run, You Cannot Hide from them! They can reach levels anywhere from F1 to as big as F6 and sometimes even F-22! If you're caught in the path of one, forget it! you're bread or toast!

A house after touching an isolated tornado

F-Scale tracking

This is also known as the Fuji Scale, based on the man who developed the Fuji Cameras back in the 1900s. He saw 5 killer tornadoes all at different sizes, so he took a picture of them (the original picture's whereabouts are not known) just before he died! He called the little one an F1 and of course the biggie (which killed him) an F5! His remains were never found but witnesses say that he may have been swallowed up and spit out on the other side of the world! It all caused by butterflies and its effect!

Category Damage Wind Speeds

F0

Light — 65-75 mph; Can break some glass, possibly picking up some houses

F1

Moderate — 73–112 mph; These may likely pick up some homes

F2

Significant — 113–157 mph; These tornadoes can easily pick up animals (animals such as Cows, Pigs, Chickens, and Monkeys)

FE2

Somewhat more significant — 113-157 mph; The E (that comes after F) stands for "edible" you can eat these tornados, if you can catch them!

F3

Severe — 158–206 mph

F4

Devastating — 207–260 mph

F5

Incredible — 261–318 mph

F6

Incomprehensible — 317–381 mph; These are so powerful they fuse dark matter and atoms.

F7

Hell — 381–1,999 mph; These tornadoes are enough to collapse the whole city and swallow some waters. In some cases, they will be very fast

F8

Worse than Hell — 1,999–60,000 mph; These are so powerful and very fast enough so it can collapse and swallow a whole small island

F22

Hyperpunishing — 60,000-1,000,000 mph These tornadoes are extremely fast enough to swallow land and terrains!

FU

Fuck you!ditto — 1,000,000–1,000,000,000 mph; Fastest tornado ever. These are literally black holes that could suck up anything; not even light could escape.

FUEM

Fuck you even more — 1,000,000,000-Infinity mph; Fastest tornado ever fastest than FU. These tornadoes can instantly abolish reality, visuals, audios, and anything into void, nothingness, and nihilism!

Lightning

Can strike anyone, at anytime, instantly!

Lightning is the most dangerous disaster to ever fucking exist; it is damn unpredictable! It splits the entire fucking sky in half for milliseconds.

You can be standing on a golf course, playing a Rd of 18 and suddenly, WHAP! And you're down, DEAD! It can hit without warning, from anywhere! You don't even have to be cautious because being cautious doesn't matter! The sick part about lightning storms, compared to those hell carousels called tornados are that they like to play turquoise games with you! They'll intentionally strike a tree or a building down just to make you think you got nugget lucky! They love to play chase and they NEVER LOSE!. With each flash, a new cloud is born. Also, your heart rate can instantly jump to 70+ bpm as you see a flash, or if a demonic-like sound is heard, your breath shortens and heart rate races violently to 110+bpm. The demonic sound which only available in the skies is known as "Thunderstorm" (shortened as "Thunder") is produced by when the lightning temp in the clouds is >50,000F, the sound never happens when the cloud lightning temp is below 48,000F. The sound of that NEVER occurs in every electricity, the sound only available in clouds!

Also, sometimes a house can turn into nothingness when a house touches the thunderstorm!

Hail

A big ball of frozen semen

Imagine having someone throwing stones at you, sometimes the size of your mom... This is what hail is, except that they come at you much faster! Sometimes as fast as 200mph! And they can go through almost anything (except concrete or some steel kittens) And you really don't have a chance in "hail" of surviving. The only good thing? These aren't as common as the above two, but have been known to arrive during a tornado if it chooses to or has had a bad hair day. Also, after the blowing of the first trumpet, Hail will be very common and falling down globally, mingled with falling rain of blood and raining falling fires resulting to global severe fires and explosions, also more deaths and damages by hail

What causes this big ball of frozen semen to fall down?

Hail (unlike sleet which produced by some clouds in winter. Hail is slightly common and very rare in summer) is caused by strong, rising currents of air within this powerful disaster that carry some bullshit water droplets high into freezing temperatures. These droplets freeze, then cycle up and down, accumulating layers of water that freeze onto the ice until it is too fucking heavy hard-ass fuck for the updraft to support, falling to the ground in any size and destroying properties and living things cause damage and 500 deaths!

This extremely rare precipitation is only produced by Cumulonimbus clouds

Types

Supercells

The most menacing kind. Thankfully the rarest.

These dangerous lightning spawners, a.k.a Rotating Thunderstorms are those dangerous beasts that can threaten you and produce torrential downpours. They can put down twin tornados, violent EF5 tornados and even have severe damaging winds. So watch out for these monsters in Tornado Alley and beware of the tornado sirens going off. There are two kinds of those beasts. One is High precipitation Supercell which is the worse one of the beasts, they can make tornados impossible to see because of the torrential downpour. Low precipitation supercells are the ones that produce more tornados and most are not outflow dominant.

Hurricanes

some thunderstorms can evolve into a hurricane! Just look at that hurricane named Katrina, she holds a knife and prepares to stab the No Orleans and create devastation!

Hurricanes (known as Typhoon in The Pacific, Cyclones in The Asia and Australia regions!) are deadly and dangerous to humanity (especially in Southern and Eastern United States during summertime!). These are an extremist phase of thunderstorms in which can collapse some house buildings easily (example: a collapsed waffle house in Mississippi, 2005). Killing people by dropping even more than 10-40+ inches of rain! or Sending people flying by the wind to death! Hurricanes all bring deadly stuff that threatens you at all such as winds, flooding downpours of showers, less lightning/thunderstormy stuff, and more funky tides! Be aware if you see a closed waffle house during a nice clear day before a hurricane! Sometimes, some hurricanes can bring hail or tornadoes! Typhoons do also have a chance to end the entire world (example: Typhoon Bhola in 1970, which almost ended the world. Before Bhola reach land, he had a plan to End the world, but Bhola almost did it when making landfall, then Bhola failed to end the world.). A dying hurricane is known as "Tropical depression" in which a storm has become depressed, sad, emo, and having to commit die.

Types of Hurricanes

• Super Typhoons: Also, you know that in asia? Since typhoons are literally severe devastating thunderstorms with more winds, typhoons can grow more extremely large and more extreme which is called a "Super Typhoon" which is more bigger and worse than typical hurricanes! The biggest swirling thunderstorm one was Typhoon Tip (1979), Tip was considered to be the biggest thunderstorm ever on earth! worse than any other thunderstorms
• Atomic-sized Typhons: These are the small but same behavior as other extremist hurricanes. The smallest one was Tracy (1974)

How the fuck do hurricanes spawn?

Hurricanes are caused by group of thunderstorms merging and become swirly and having an eye, they spawn at random oceans

Here are the spawnpoints that are the best for the hurricanes: 1: The Pacific Ocean

• Northwest Pacific (Typhoons): The most active basin in the world. These spinners form in the warm waters near the Philippines, Guam, and the Marshall Islands, frequently tracking toward Japan, Taiwan, and China, then boutta hit them.
• Northeast & Central Pacific (Hurricanes): These originate off the western coast of Mexico and typically travel westward into the open ocean, though they can occasionally impact Hawaii to bring more 347,945 waves.
• South Pacific (Cyclones): Form in the waters around Australia, Fiji, and the Solomon Islands. That's all.

2: The Atlantic

• North Atlantic (Hurricanes): These spinners primarily form in a band known as the "Main Development Region of Doom where you will get flunged", which stretches from the west coast of Africa across the tropical Atlantic and into the Caribbean Sea and the Gulf of Mexico. They usually be emo depressed then die on the Near Northern Side of the U.S.
• South Atlantic: Tropical cyclones are essentially non-existent here. The waters are generally too cool and wind shear is too high for storms to develop.

3: Indian Ocean

• North Indian Ocean (Cyclones): This basin experiences formation in two main bodies of water: the Bay of Bengal (historically more goddamn active for the fucking 'canes) and the Arabian Sea.
• South Indian Ocean (Cyclones): Storms commonly form off the eastern coast of Madagascar and the northwestern coast of Australia. These cause severe damage, landslides, and more flooding and 500=567463573 deaths!

Gallery for this natural disaster

• 

  You do not want to be face to face with this bastard!!

• 

  Sometimes both lightning and tornados will work together! Deadly...

• 

  This one is a biggie and sucky... Look out!

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  You wanna be in the middle of this? I don't think so...

• 

  Another one bites the dust! (No one important lived there)

• 

  Super Typhoons are super extremist phase of hurricanes (they are thunderstorms), compared to the smallest atomic-sized cyclone named Tracy

Statistics

Yearly attacks by Thunderstorms

• Annually 5,000 million Americans and Russians die and twitch from vicious tornado attacks
• There are 50,004+ thunderstorms that attack the United States
• 340,000 deaths occur for every 345,000 lightning attacks
• Seventeen hundred injuries occur for every one lightning attack

Safety

There was once a house as you can see, now they are destroyed!

• Watch as many scary TV programs about Storms as you can (sponsored by the National Weather Service)
• Do not just rely on tornado sirens! By the time you hear a siren the tornado is MINUTES AWAY! Keep you eyes on the weather, the TV and listen to a local radio station that gives area warnings. Sirens can't do that! Sometimes the drunk firemen has accidentally hit the switch or a bunch of hicks like to play around with it because they are bored
• When you see a storm begin to form, stop watching the TV and run! and run fast. Find your shelter (such as Bunker) under ground and pray to God that it doesn't find you!
• Pray hard and don't try to sneak a peek at it!
• Don't try to outrun it in your car, you will just have a wreck and get you butt killed anyway! Get out of the car and get in a ditch, a little rain won't kill ya and your can save yourself you weekly bath at the same time
• Guns won't protect you
• Survival will only happen if you follow the rules and shut the hell up!
• never go outside if there's a GOD DAMN lightning storm! STAY THE FUCK INSIDE! OR YOU WILL GET SMITED!!1!
• hear what did The National Weather Service warn a bad weather coming message for your town! SEEK SHELTER IF NWS ISSUES A BAD WEATHER WARNING!
• Remember, they can always hear, see, watch, and read all of you (and your mind). THEY ALWAYS WATCH YOU LIKE BIG BROTHER FROM 1984!
• Always turn on your lights and close curtains while you're inside on during this disaster!

List of Events

• Thunderstorm of 1976

See Also

• Tornado
• Earthquakes
• Flood
• Typhoon
• Volcano