User talk:Witt E,

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Please stick yer messages on the bottem, thenks mate!--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 04:56, 13 November 2006 (UTC)

Hey, Mister![edit source]

Hey, Mister! You have three great pictures that you requested on Uncyclopedia:RadicalX's Corner! (Just thought you might have forgotten your request) --~ sin($) tan() 22:41, 3 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks moneysign, I forget completely.--Witt E, 02:50, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Excuse me[edit source]

I appreciate your contribution to Megatexas, but that's a page that I work on a lot and your banner bugs me. So I removed it.

If you really would like to help out, find a red link on there and make it blue. In your honor, I will do the same. I honestly don't mind the red links a bit -- I hope they don't offend you too much. It's a big page with a big story. If you read the page, you'll find there is a lot more information there than one person could comfortably fill in. --Geoffsebesta 18:05, 24 April 2006 (UTC)

UnNews[edit source]

Heh, I like how the UnNews volcano story came out. Well done with that :) Spang talk 02:49, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Thank you Spang! I was hoping for some positive reactions. --Witt E, 02:50, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

You're welcome! And I just fixed it. It was missing some header templates. Use the create article box on the UnNews front page when you create news articles and it'll automagically stick them in for you. Spang talk 03:24, 16 May 2006 (UTC)

Thank Muchly[edit source]

...for your very kind words (and the clinching vote!) on Embracing Mediocrity. It's featured, and I appreciated your glowing review. I think I'm glowing now, actually.  :) ~ T. (talk) 04:56, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

THANKS!!!![edit source]

Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Heh.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 03:48, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

  • You deserve it. You should be proud of yourself, I will one day if I ever get nommed. Ahh, I still need to do more stuff around here.--Witt E, 03:51, 7 June 2006 (UTC)

Belated welcome[edit source]

Hello, Witt E,, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! --~ sin($) tan() 03:44, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Ha, Long Overdue, yet I find it fitting that I have a bunch of help links to click on when I forget...what's that damned word........things. Belated Thank you for the formal welcome!--Witt E, 03:48, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Even More Belated Welcome[edit source]

I'd also like to say hello, Witt E, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your expert hairstyling advice! I hope you like the place and decide to blast it to smithereens with sub-orbital platform-mounted rail guns, raining down death and destruction from above as innocent women, children, and kittens scream in mortal, gut-wrenching terror. If not, the door's about to hit you in the fa — oooooh, that must've hurt! Sorry about that, we've been meaning to get that fixed, but it provides us with so many cheap laughs, you see. Anyway, here are a few good links for people who have been around for several weeks without getting the usual welcome message:

I hope you enjoy the random banninations, disruptive behavior by people with CAPS LOCK ISSUES, disruptive behavior by me, and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages as User:Chronarion; never, ever, ever use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. That would just be silly.

If you need help, don't ask me, I don't work here! Don't ask at the Dump, either - that's reserved for, uh, other things, like turnips and stuff. Again, welcome!  c • > • cunwapquc? 04:15, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Look you got anouther welcome![edit source]

Hello, Witt E,, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig.png) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  --The Zombiebaron 22:39, 11 June 2006 (UTC)

Ape-Shit Crazy[edit source]

It took me a while, but I just read what u put on the Ape-Shit Crazy talk page. I'm glad u like the article, and thats awesome that you're linking stuff to it. Thanks for boosting my ego! Also, if u like my work, take a look at Rap. Its my latest article, and its on VFH. If you like it, please vote. Thanks!-- Sir Cornbread The Great America...Fuck Yeah!!!! [SHOUT] [MUN] [GET THIS FEATURED!] 05:11, 20 July 2006 (UTC)

Just calm down and tell me what I should say[edit source]

Alright, listen. I'm sorry that I assigned you as the union leader this early. I thought you would've been back from your suspension by now, but it doesn't look like that right now. Try 1 of these options:

1. Contact Customer Service and tell them that your suspension should've been already over (tell them to deactivate your suspension, it worked with me when I had that 1-month suspension)

2. You can do the layout for me, but I fear the worst that I could get modded for it.

Choose one of those options and tell me what you'll do next.--123Fat123 18:52, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Here, before I do that...[edit source]

Alright, don't get angry or anything at me, as this may help you out. You know how customer service isn't replying to you (yet)? That's because they're only available on the weekdays, from 9:30 to 5:30 PST. I heard that if you post questions on a weekend, it'll take a lot longer for them to respond, or they'll never respond (that 1 month suspension problem I had, I sent in several e-mails to them during the weekend and they never replied, but when I submitted it on a weekday, they finally replied within 72 hours).

So here's what I want you to do: Give customer service another try on a weekday, and if they don't reply, send in a couple more e-mails. If they still don't respond, I'll do that "Ask the Mods" favor you're trying to ask me. So I'm not holding off or anything, I'm just saying, give customer service another trie(s) during the weekdays. Then you may finally receive help.--123Fat123 14:43, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Playstation3[edit source]

OMgz make sure you re-include ps3front.jpg... I have to say one of the best playstation3 images I have seen, your re-write will pale without it :)

Sure thing anonymous suggestor.--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 01:44, 29 September 2006 (UTC)

HowTo:Skip School[edit source]

Wow... Thanks for voting for my article on VFH. Finally, my lack of volunteer work, failure to socialize outside of the interweb, and ugliness have paid off. Again, thanks! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 06:08, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

This is about Tony Danza isn't it[edit source]

After much recollection, I remember the "contradiction" you are referring to (atleast I think it's this one). It was the VFH nom of Boss Fight and I voted against because I said there was no Tony Danza reference, and you said there was, and I said links don't count...that's the contradiction you were talking about maybe? If so, I actually have never even watched "Who's the Boss" nor do I even care about Tony Danza. I simply didn't like the article, but gave a stupid reason for not liking it because "I didn't like the article" is boring. I would never vote against an article I liked simply because it lacked an arbitrary character such as Tony Danza. Sorry for the confusion. --Anyone 13:25, 17 October 2006 (PDT)

I was BANNED from GameSpot!!!!!!!!!!!!![edit source]

This is one of the worst moments in my life...I was banned from GameSpot...without GameSpot, I don't know how life will go for me, so I guess I'll just hang around here and do some other things besides GameSpot.

I made this to inform you that you'll never see me on GameSpot again...and the only way to stay in contact with each other is Uncyclopedia.--123Fat123 20:43, 24 October 2006 (UTC)

I know showing a list of banned users isn't funny, but...[edit source]

I added it on there because I wanted to show other people how sensitive the mods and admins are over at GS...and I already knew it wasn't funny. And by the way (you probably already know this), but another user got banned right after me, and he was well known in GS too...Lightening411...Damn he was actually 1 of the users I liked, and it seems that GS is using the ban-spree on long time veterans who are well-known to GS, and they're leaving all the noobs alone...sad.

But I'm alright how you moved it to my page, and after all, I knew it wasn't funny...I just wanted to show Uncyclopedia what the mods and admins are like over at you know why I put it in there in the first place.

And after I was banned, I still remained pissed, but I have some sort-of plan on returning...shouldn't mention it around here in public, but I'll find some way of telling you.--123Fat123 (Union member.gif=BANNED USER) 16:21, 29 October 2006 (UTC)

Just because I'm banned from GS does not mean I'm done...(please read+respond)[edit source]

Recently, I read your latest blog on your GS profile, and I did read one part that can mean bad news later on. I saw that the admin was surprised that you weren't perma-banned, and this is NOT good because it can get you banned later in the future, but by any chance, did...Kevin-V (yes, I know which admin it was, JodyR was the 1 who gave me the probation period) give you a PROBATION PERIOD? If he did, that's bad news, because it gives you around a 80-100% chance for you getting banned from GS in the future...

But anyway, more on to the topic I was about to ask. Although I do know that ban dodging is seriously against the TOS, I might return with a much different approach. I was thinking of doing the following:

  • Contact customer service, persuading them so badly to reactivate my original account, JohnPraser, back since the recent moderation that got me banned was extremely pointless (I quoted a chain that had "Me too, Me 3, Me 4" then I replied with "Me 5", in which it started with a 14 day suspension but later got me banned). And maybe in the customer service contact, I can tell them how poorly of a job the mods have been doing and maybe have the admins check some of my moderations and just see how pointless they were.
  • Find a way to change my IP address (the admins track your IP when banned, and if my new account is under the same IP, i'd get an IP ban) and during the create a new account form, fill it out with completely different info from my previous account, making it impossible for the admins to determine who I am.

Tell me which of these plans will work the most, then after you tell me, I'll perform it.--123Fat123 (Union member.gif=BANNED USER) 19:17, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

RE: youPod[edit source]

I saw your suggestions to my article; thank you--it's now much bigger. What do you think? 02:53, 16 November 2006 (UTC)

No particular message....[edit source]

Just so I remember about the image for Douglas Adams tomorrow.... ;) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

And now I have a real message. What do you think of the first image that I've added to the article? Any good? Will try to come up with a few more ideas if I have time today. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I'd hate to say this, but Sixpounder11 (from GS) was banned...[edit source]

(NOTE: I deleted some of my talks on your page so that I won't be considered to be spamming your talk page)

But onto the topic...recently, even though I remained banned to this second, I've been browsing the forums, although whenever I log in, it hides the motha f*ckin' forums, and I can't view them. However, whenever I log out, I can see them again, which is great...

And very bad news: As I've said above, I recently tried to take a brief visit to Sixpounder11's profile, and I found out that...he's banned. I know, GS has gone way too far with the bans, and some action really needs to be taken. The loss of Sixpounder probably devestates you, but you're not alone...Sixpounder was actually one of my favorites during my days of GS, and he was one of the cool users...and unfortunately, HE GOT BANNED!!

Again, I'm sorry for the loss...and I'll just hope for the best that you don't get banned in the future (from GS).--123Fat123 (Union member.gif=BANNED USER)

Respect[edit source]

Newcookie.gif Todd Lyons has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Jeebus this was funny. You knew I wouldn't be able to resist, didn't? Heh. I didn't have a chance. :) Great writing. ~ Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 05:32, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

Newcookie.gif Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for the support. It's really nice to get recognized by users for working hard to make this a nice place to be. May none of your jokes fall flat.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:26, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

Re: Douglas Adams[edit source]

I agree that D.A. deserves something special, as is the Thor of comedy and we but hapless Arthur Dents. That being said, we are not properly honoring the man! As it stands, it is a fanpage and does not do him justice. Indeed, I feel, he must be roasted to a fine turn as befits a icon of his stature. That being said, how else could we look at his page? What alternate narrative could we give the intrepid Mr. Adams?

What if... that night Doug was lying drunk in a field somewhere near Innsbruck he was sucked into an alien ship and was lost into the universe for several years and that when he returned he wrote the books as thinly disguised travelogues? What if when he got back to earth there was a species he's never heard of, "dolphins" they were called, and so he wrote them into his books? And that he had severe dyslexia and honestly thought he had written three books in his trilogy?

I don't know, I'm just spitballing. All's I'm saying is, we can write something funny that has not a lick of truth but also honors him. And really, don't we owe it to him to try?--Super90 10:47, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

I mean no insult or disrespect. I'm not saying the article isn't a good one. It is, it's well written, has good calls-backs in the Douglas style, etc. The only problem with it is it's largely true and our mission as Uncyclopedians is to make it, whatever it is, fiction, or parody. I think we can have our cake and eat it too.--Super90 21:00, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

XMas[edit source]

Tvcc.jpg Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW!

Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC) Christmas.jpg

And happy new year. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us.png GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 19:52, 17 December 2006 (UTC)
Xmasmoosewreath.png Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd Crown Royal.jpg

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:06, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

NavyXmas.JPG ḤáρÞў ĤðḸǐḍαȳζ from §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ!

You, <insert name here>, have been randomly selected from Squiggle's holiday list of people to send cards to for an extra special Holiday Card! He's too lazy to send them all.
Anyway, enjoy this blatant overuse of {{USERNAME}} and template spammage!

Oh, I get it now. Witt E, = Witty. Ha. Punny. Anyway, Happy Merry! -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 00:31, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Getting Xbox 360 for Christmas?? Just a few suggestions you might want to make[edit source]

I read your latest blog entry (GameSpot), and you said you were getting a 360 for Christmas...if that's true, then here are some suggestions:

  • Xbox Live is a must-get, and from my experiences, I haven't encountered a single screaming 5 year old, although that may happen soon to me. If you get XBL, you have access to XBL Marketplace, and it'll let you download gamerpics, themes, arcade games, demos, trailers, etc. The level subscription I suggest you'd get is gold (what I have), and BTW, if you end up having trouble connecting your future 360 to the internet, I suggest you get a 360 Wireless networking adapter (only if you have a wireless internet connection).
  • I highly suggest you get Oblivion, it'll consume at least 70-100 hours of life, if not more...I have it right now and it's my favorite 360 game that I own (currently).
  • If you were ever thinking about getting Gears of War, I suggest you go to the Xbox 360 forum and make a topic asking a question about Gears of War, but I heard it's a huge favorite among many 360 owners right now. I don't have it right now, but I'm getting it for Christmas...maybe after I get it, I can maybe tell you how it really is and you can make your decision from there.
  • If you get Xbox Live, my GamerTag is J the Master. try to remember that, and make sure you tell me your gamertag and maybe me or you can send a friend request to each other and add each other to friend lists. But please make sure you tell me your gamertag, because how am I supposed to know where you are on XBL if I don't know your gamertag?

All I can say is...good luck with the 360, you're guaranteed to have a blast with it.--123Fat123 (Union member.gif=BANNED USER)

Gamercard[edit source]



^^(link to profile)^^

You can check it out often for updates.--123Fat123 (Union member.gif=BANNED USER)

Yes...=[edit source]

You have seen me on GameSpot & Wikipedia. I haven't gotten on GameSpot in a while.Dexter111344 03:13, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

Award delivery[edit source]

---Asteroid B612B612.jpg (aka Rataube) - Ñ 19:24, 15 January 2007 (UTC)

Klank![edit source]

Pow!.png BANG BANG BANG!!!
The victory bells(?) have rang!
NeedABrain thanks you for voting on Onomatopoeia

herr doktor needsAcharge Rocket.gif [scream!] 22:19, 17 January 2007 (UTC)

Thank you![edit source]

Raygun.jpg NeedABrain has awarded you a pair of rayguns! Raygun2.JPG
For voting on HowTo:Make Cheesy Sci-Fi.
"Now remember: the blue stuns, the yellow disintegrates and the red destroys the universe (not yet been tested)."

-- herr doktor needsAcharge Rocket.gif [scream!] 17:39, 9 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

Dudley.a.jpg El Zoof has awarded you a special 3D holographic edition of the List of one letter words starting with A!
For voting on List of one letter words starting with A. If you hadn't guessed.
Soon: List of one letter words starting with A II: The Sequel - List of one letter words starting with I

Pee Review[edit source]

Hey, thanks mate. Pinky and the Brain is a great idea. Maybe with that, I can get the ball rolling a bit more. And the dinosaurs are a bit...different. I don't know, it was my first article and I wasn't sure how to flesh it out. I'll see what I can do.

Thanks again. Mr. Worm 06:19, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Hi[edit source]

Meritbadgeunderrated2.JPG Underrated Uncyclopedian Merit Badge

The user who has given you this badge believes that while you have not received any awards, you have made many appreciable contributions to Uncyclopedia. Keep up the good work!

Icons-flag-au.png Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 15:33, 12 February 2007 (UTC)

Thanks![edit source]

The-golden-chainsaw.jpg Welcome to the Chaingang from El Zoof! Now go cut your head off - safely!
Thanks for voting for HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Chainsaw

--El Zoof 10:15, 10 March 2007 (UTC)

Another Thanks![edit source]

Colt1812.jpg For voting for Is a 1982 Mitsubishi Colt better than a Bugatti Veyron?, you have been awarded one of Cs1987's many 1982 Mitsubishi Colts!

Sorry I couldn't afford a better present. It might arrive in the mail soon, if you are lucky.

Icons-flag-au.png Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 02:04, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

I will suck your penis[edit source]

When?--Witt, Union leader.gif of Union member.gif UNion Entertain me* 21:22, 9 April 2007 (UTC)

Mr. Waterworld![edit source]

Just wanted to let you know that I did end up nomming the article we were discussing in chat yesterday evening: here. I even gave you a shout in the edit comments of the article for thinking of Waterworld to sub in for Spanglish when I was still touching it up. Much appreciated buddy!! --THINKER 00:27, 20 June 2007 (UTC)

THANK'D!![edit source]


Many thanks for your vote in The Color Problem[edit source]

Glad you liked it... MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg (15:34, Dec 4 2007)

Thanks for the vote[edit source]

SmashSpeckys.jpg MrN9000 has awarded you with this rather nicely coloured boxy thing to thank you for voting and helping to get The Color Problem featured on the front page.
*Please do not mention the colour/color problem. It's not an issue. Really.

MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 17:38, Dec 6

Vote4This[edit source]

Vote for HowTo:Kill Yourself In Just 5 Minutes! Here's the link:


DO IT NOW! Reply.

--AchmedTheDeadTerrorist 13:16, August 20, 2010 (UTC)User:AchmedTheDeadTerrorist