User talk:Todd Lyons

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Dear Todd, I just wanted to let you know I really enjoy your writing at Leverage (talk) 15:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. Sadly, the relative quietness of the ?pedia project kind of resulted in my interest waning... I do have quite a backlog of satire, but I stopped publishing there some time ago (I'm not even sure when).
While I've got you, I should say that while I don't write here anymore, I do read semi-regularly. Your UnNews stories are wonderful and entertaining, so consider me a fan of yours. T. (talk) 21:28, 29 June 2014 (UTC)

Re-feature queue[edit source]

If you want, you can go to Uncyclopedia:Re-feature queue/Nominate and pick one featured article that you wrote to be re-featured. You can also pick three features written by someone else to re-feature. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:51, 17 November 2014 (UTC)

You've all suffered quite enough, I think. But thanks. T. (talk) 21:10, 8 January 2015 (UTC)

3 Cheeks...[edit source]

I decide which one, not you.

Sometimes it's a little like You remember? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:39, 2 September 2015

Thanks for the memory. Spooky that I just listened to your voice a week ago, reading news on an old Uncyc Podcast. T. (talk) 17:18, 2 September 2015 (UTC)
Todd is like the Candy Man, but summoned with buttocks instead of that silly repeating his name infront of a mirror... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
I'm more down with Sammy Davis Jr. than Clive Barker. Admittedly, I've got a taste for the sweet stuff... but I promise not to kill. Also: no hook where my hand should be. T. (talk) 03:04, 4 September 2015 (UTC)
Oh man, that was a really fun few days. Hobbit Sex is still one of the best things I've ever read. The Woodburninator Wood burning.gif Minimal Effort  22:39, 6 September 2015 (UTC)

UnNews Idea[edit source]

You haven't written anything in a while. I had an I dea for a unnews article but I'm really busy.

(Today) London, England - Britain thought they spotted dick but it was just the Loch Ness Monster.

What do you think? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:44, 19 October 2015

It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]

See you next year! The first annual *Kiss My Ass* Holiday Competition has officially ended for 2021


Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Judgement day is upon ye!

Seasons Greetings!

It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny Sign Up Today! (pretty please)  – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 14:43, 13 December 2021

Merry Christmas and all that jazz[edit source]

Santa Baby…

I heard that you were single again, well then—we should hook up real soon. Santa baby, Facebook me and give me some likes.
Santa cutie, Snapchat me and send me some pix, not dicks—but if you want, I don't mind. Santa cutie, favorite me on Instagram.
Slide into my chat DMs—add me to your list and we'll be more than friends. I'll follow you on Twitter too, and this Christmas won't be quite so blue.

Santa baby, I saw you had a Tinder and I swiped right—found your Bumble account. Santa baby, Match with me so we can Meetup.

Santa honey, if you call me up on the phone—we'll bone. I won't play hard to get. Santa baby, do you have white hair down there?
Santa baby, you don't have to wear a condom, come on—we can play 'Just the Tip'. Santa baby, even if it's just for one night.
I haven't been with lots of men—but last time I got laid he said I was a ten. I'm sure that we could have some fun—if you work out and don't weigh a ton.

Santa baby, don't forget the presents this year—like beer, or perhaps some good wine. Santa baby— let's get drunk, Netflix and chill…Here's a hundred dollar bill?..I'm on the pill…

 – Zana Dark  talk to me  AJTA (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 19:21, 24 December 2021