User:SysRq

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Status: ~~Retarded~~ Retired; IRC?: No; Currently: Going back to bed. Wake me up next year, Chris you bastard.
Responding: No; Last updated: 06:35, June 28, 2010 (UTC)

THIS JUST IN! SysRq has a Twitter! Sign up now for up-to-the-microsecond reports on his bathroom tendencies!

“My opinion of him can never match his own.”
~ My mom on Kanye West

Aye, time to write myself another self-serving, asshole style bio. VANDALISM!!!

So, my name is Alex. People seem to like to call me SysRq, though, seeing as how that's the username I registered here. They also like to call me Sissie, SisReck (only on IRC, though), and Faggator, Bane of Sis-Wreckia. Whatever you end up calling me, just don't call me late for dinner.^[1] I first arrived at this god-forsaken site in late 2007 with the name "Gustavo Chapman 3rd of Normandy." I don't think anybody cares about that fact anymore, though; I did nothing noteworthy as Gustav. I barely do noteworthy things now, though, so I guess it's all the same.

Around here, I like to write,^[2] pee, fix things up,^[3] talk to my friends^[4], v o t e,^[5] and welcome new users. If you're a noob, and whether I've welcomed you or not, I'm more than happy to help with any issues you may be having. Just leave me a message on my talk page.

A Werks

Articles I claim to be mine[edit | edit source]

Terrible articles that I'd rather were NOT mine[edit | edit source]

Articles that used to be mine (2007 articles written before the name change)[edit | edit source]

UnNews Stories I claim to be mine[edit | edit source]

UnNews Audio Talkie Show Thingies[edit | edit source]

Songs I wrote[edit | edit source]

Articles I have WIP'd here on the namespace[edit | edit source]

{{WIP}} it. Into shape. Shape it up. Get it straight. Go forward. Move ahead. Try to detect it. It's not too late. To {{WIP}} it. {{WIP}} it good.

Awards I've made[edit | edit source]

This is a list of ~~reasons to be nice to me~~ awards I've made.

A Words

Grand Cross of the Order

	Reviewer of the Month March 2008

	UnBooks Author of the Month June 2008

	Useless Gobshite of the Month June 2008

	Writer of the Month December 2008

	Uncyclopedian of the Month March 2009

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Featured Article: Charles Lindbergh

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgerald

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: Why?:Blame Hitler

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

Collab with Leddy

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Featured Article: Veteran

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: Dishwasher

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: America is the best!!!

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

link=:File:{{{image}}}

Featured Article: Andy Rooney

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

link=:File:{{{image}}}

Featured Article: :Category:My sojourn

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

Collab with various others, my contribution was the best though

Featured Colonization: Al Gore

This person contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

	World's Best Friend April 2008

Merited UnProvisation: Historical Drama
This user helped create an UnProvisation which was
merited on Uncyclopedia.

Merited UnProvisation: High School Drama
This user started an UnProvisation which was
merited on Uncyclopedia.

UnNews Audio Ninjastar

For a fine job on your audio. Your character, wit and smarm have lulled the masses into a false sense of security. Nice job! –Rev_zim

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, SysRq! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

(Yepp, x5 of em.)

Encourage the n00b star

I award You this star, because you're foolish enough to encourage a n00b's Uncyc addiction and increase it's chances of making a career in Humour™ and/or Visual Gags™.
You are awarded an extra +1½ Bonus*
*Bonus awarded for being good to the n00b.
(Added bonus of +2 available in exchange for cookies). –Lady Viktoria

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful.
Eat it quickly before he changes his mind.

Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts,
and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

Under-used Ninjastar

I award you an under-used Ninjastar. Rust may have dulled its cutting edge, but it is still a potent symbol. Yes. – UU.

Woo!
Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort",
which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise!
This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this,
he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go!

You're not invited though. Don't take it personally.

You've Been Awarded The Order Of The Flying Communist Turd, 2nd Class.
You Must Have Done Something Really Special For Me! Woo! Lucky You!
From Comrade YesTimeToEdit

Optimuschris has been informed that you have recently helped him in some way.
Therefore he has asked his assistant to create a thank you template for you.
He trusts an appropriate image has been included. An image
every bit as unique and personal as he's assured his recent interaction
with you has been.

Golden Urinal

You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

Platinum Pisser

Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

Sucker Ninjastar.png

Sucker for Punishment Ninjastar

This user is a complete sucker for punishment, and has now completed over 50 pee reviews. Awesome! –UU

Whirling Star of Outstanding Vigilance

For your consistent commitment to Stephen Colbert, and my joke that 10 people understand. –THINKER

YOU WON TEH PENIS.png

Jolly Good Show!

MrN9000 could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late.
As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of recognition.
Congratulations.

A Use Boxes

User goodthink U.W.P member.

Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.

This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them.

This user is constantly PEEING. They apologize for the mess.

This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.

This user is a Mac User.
Eat up.
(List of Mac-Using Uncyclopedians)

This user is a honourific member
of the UnHoly Sisterhood.
He worships Sophia
and so should you, <insert name here>.

This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user has adopted ☯.

This user wants to pee in Cajek's hat.

This user is a cyborg

and uses bionic features to fight crime

. Resistance is futile

.

	UnSignpost Home Delivery
	The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

en-N

This user is a native speaker of English.

sp-1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Spanglish.

ns-3

This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Newspeak.

es-1

This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Español.

enr-4

This user speaks Engrish at a near-native level.

This user has adopted The SOAD Fan.

This user has adopted Flare.

NO

This user doesn't care.

This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
18 years, 1 month and 8 days.

This user maintains a Blog at http://sysrqhumor.blogspot.com/

This user misses Dr. Skullthumper.

‽	How dare you consider this user not awesome! How dare you not recognise the awesomeness of this user! This person uses the power of "How Dare You"!

This user is a part of the Missing User Project. You may refer to them as a MUPpet.

This user is proud to have been the Adopter of Tagstit.

"Anus"

If by "SysRq" you mean "anus" then yes.

This user is a member of Imperial Colonization.

This user is a spoiled
Mummy's little darling.
Observe their cuddliness.

Notes[edit | edit source]

↑ This is the extent of SysRq's humor. How he ever gets a bloody feature is nothing short of immaculate.
↑ ...unfunny things.
↑ More like, breaking shit and then spending the rest of the day fixing what I did and apologizing to all parties involved.
↑ You have friends? Don't you mean people who vandalise your userpage? UU.
↑ I may not necessarily vote for your article, in fact I've probably made a point not to if I haven't already so don't whore me.

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