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Sophia

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~o~

Sophia beauty
pout your lips and thrust your bust
wiggle that booty!

~o~

Sophia is a
thirty-eight twenty-seven
thirty-six. 'Nuff said.

Oscar Wilde on Sophia

~o~

What is Sophia?
A person, or a concept?
Sophia is... HOT!!!

~o~

Sophia-Loren.jpg

Here's to Sophia

~o~

Liquid eyes see through all,
mind, heart, all body parts nice,
mouth so warm and wet

~o~

Sophia, like a
Bond Girl, though she wouldn't hang
Out or chill with me

~o~

הו, סופיה
עינייך כמעיינות!
חבל רק, שאת בת 87.

~o~

You are my inspiration
The power of dreams

~o~

I really need more sleep
Sophia must wake me up
Before she go go

~o~

Chinese Sophia
I can not understand her
She`s talking Chinese

~o~

It snows outside now
Sophia makes a snowman
Some guys destroy it

~o~

All hail cheese burgers
Made by Sophia with cheese
And with some Burghers

~o~

Sophia means what?
Well, "sohpia" means knowledge
In the Greek language.

~o~

Sophia yang agung
Disangka mengandung
Ternyata kembung.

~o~

Hot-damn what a babe
I'd do her in a second
Raw and uncensored

~o~

Like the Sun, she shines,
Like the great blue sky, she glows,
Like the sea, she's... wet.

~o~

I think: Sophia
and Onomatopoeia.
Now that's a big word.

~o~

Sophia runs far.
Where are you going, beauty?
Into the SMITEHOLES.

~o~

Sophia needs you
In a whimper of lost sighs
Never with a tear

~o~

Sophia, like joke
You make me giggle so much
But for other reason

~o~

Soapy Sophia
Slides slowly into a bath
The sound of water

~o~

蘇菲蘇菲
今吾先親近之
期從者眾

~o~

All I've ever known
is Uncyclopedia.
Bless us, Sophia.

~o~

Sophia desires
Some quiet time by the fire
With champagne and ice

~o~

Sophia enjoys
Sitting in a small dank cave
Wond'ring 'bout the world

~o~

Noble Sophia
I'd like to purchase for you
Many Klondike bars

~o~

Oh, geil, Sophia!
Ich rich an deinem Fud-Furz
Den ganzen Tag lang!

~o~

Aking Sophia,
Trips ko bigyan kita ng
sako ng bigas.

~o~

In the afternoon
Making love to Sophia
Up in my bedroom

~o~

Purt your breasts beauty
Ye, For you are Sophia
Sexy like a bear

Tämä on selvää:
moni Sofia-luulee,
vaan ei Sofia.

~o~

Gentle goddess of
cherry blossoms and of wine:
Sophia, I'm thine

~o~

Of Loren was born
sexy Sophia, so fap
Her crotch draws me in
~o~

ソフィアさん
あなたは酷い
でも凄い

~o~

Dreamy Sophia
You are my inspiration
The power of dreams.

~o~

Water wear stone away
Will undying devotion
melt Sophia's heart?

~o~

Люблю Софию!
Глаза-прожектора её
Я не забуду.

~o~

月圓之夜
乃思家之時
蘇菲也同?

九月十八
恰逢一花甲
誰人能忘?

~o~

내 님 소피아
쭉쭉빵빵 헤벌레
나는 기절 중

~o~

Sophia, dearest,
please put that dagger away.
I'll be good. Honest.

~o~

סופיה, עינייך הן
כמו השמש העולה
הן יפות ועצובות

~o~

Ka Sophia es
Muliero qua manjis
Saporoz' Hilter?

~o~

סופיה שלי
מה מלאו לחייך דם
ושדייך חלב

~o~

Sophia, vous avez
Mon coeur dans une petite boite
Et sur l'Internet

~o~

Sophia is great
Sophia is beautiful
Goddess: Sophia

~o~

Sophiang ina!
Reyna ng french fries at chips
Chibugan tayo!

~o~

We hail Sophia!
But in Soviet Russia,
Sophia hails US!

~o~

Sophia, for real
Smiling at me as we dine
Spinach on her tooth

~o~

Sophia is cool,
Sophia is fucking fine,
Stop wasting her time.

~o~

Софіє! Вона
Найімовірніше є
Ліпша од цього.

~o~

Sophia's in bed.
She snores like a lumberjack.
Sleepless, I love her.

~o~

A pretty girl named
María once said to me:
Sofía is Truth;

Sophia, goddess
of the people like we, that
live for little things;

One beautiful day
you will answer my prayers,
and she will be mine.

~o~

Listen up Sophia
I just wrote you a Haiku
And you just heard it

~o~

Cara Sophia,
Quando a olho penso,
"Gandas mamas, hã?"

~o~

Sophia's Mythology

~o~

Everyone should know
The Goddess and potato
Are two different things.

~o~

An Asian Goddess
but with an odd name surely
not Shirley, you git.

~o~

Sophia commands
A dark avatar on Earth...
Sophia Loren!

~o~

Sophia is one
With her mind, body and soul
Oh, to be as free.

~o~

Pure as rain water
Radiant like the night moon
Warm as summer sun

Bending as young tree
Comforting as a spring breeze
Such is Sophia

~o~

Such beauty, divine,
Lips more luscious than fine wine,
Redder than a rose.

~o~

With five and seven
our Uncyclopedia
enshrines Sophia

~o~

La saĝ' malsaĝa
De la bela Sofio
Sensencigas nin.

~o~

I lurve Sophia
Sophia lurves, too, me
Sophia's so hot!

~o~

Golden light surrounds
Sophia's serenity
Yeah, bring it on, bitch!

~o~

Me gustaria
Hacer el sexo con la
Sophia. Es bien

~o~

Sophia, Oscar
Their union gave rise to Un-
Cyclopedia

Burn to she perfumes!
Drink to she, for I love she!
Nuit! Sophia!

~o~

Not the same but well
our lovely potato is
too named Sophia

~o~

Carry on, tater
You're Kansas' wayward son
Your job: Never done

~o~

During her travels
Sophia once met this man
who asked this question:

O queen of wisdom,
Sophia, what the heck am
I doing here? Sheesh.

To which she replied:
Asking me stupid questions
Or so it would seem.

Just kidding, good man.
You are here to discover
the answer you seek

~o~

蘇菲蘇菲
生大荒山,無稽崖
空空妙妙

子虚烏有
曾隨長卿遊
回遊於此

~o~

Monkey Monkey Ape
Monkey Sophia Monkey
Ape Love Sophia

~o~

சோஃபியா லாரன்
நான் பின்னாலே வாரன்
உன் முகத்தப் பாத்தாலே மனசுக்குள்ள ஆரன்

~o~

Sophia, real
Smiling at me as we dine
Spinach on her tooth

~o~

Sophia, goddess
Of Uncyclopedia
Gives me a hard-on

Blasphemous Haiku

~o~

Sophia smells like
Rancid suppositories
In the winter rain

~o~

Sophia oh dear
She ate bad jam and catfood
She just chundered lots

~o~

Sophia Peeing
Urine falls from the heavens
I'm getting stinky

~o~

Sophia is mean,
She has fucked Michael Jackson,
But hasn't fucked me.

~o~

ソフィア姫
はめてちょうだい
中に来る

~o~

Sophia posed naked
When she was seventy-one
Wrinkled as scrotum

~o~

When the bough breaks, the
Cradle will rock. And she will
Give us all blow jobs.

~o~

Sumo Sophia
Your thunder thighs crush the earth
Kill Godzilla now

~o~

Sophia's a whore
She takes it up the behind
Ok, what the fuck



Here in my sandbox,
I play with my Tonka truck.
Sophia eats dirt.

~o~

Sophia, Sophie
Sew fee, A sofa, so fuh-
geddaboutit, man

~o~

What dream makes us slave
For Uncyclopedia?
Shagging Sophia

~o~

An old lore proclaims
Sophia had a sex change
He still has one ball

~o~

You have two cows, and
cherry blossoms on the wind--
The sound of mooing

~o~

Sophia, my love,
They say you give great head, but
I'm disappointed

~o~

I yearn to put my
cock into Sophia's cunt.
Make her orgasm

~o~

Sliding slowly down
The blood traces down my leg
Drink it, Sophia

~o~

~o~

~o~

Table of contents
ought to also be Haiku
Needed a break here

~o~

The Meta Haiku

~o~

To write a haiku:
Syllables five seven five
Each on their own line

~o~

With five, seven, five,
We show Sophia a love
One man holds for her

~o~

No one told me the
right way to write a Haiku
this last line has too many syllables

~o~

Sophia's first line
And this is her second line
And this her third line.

~o~

Five Seven and Five
Sophia hates all retards
Who can not count right

-o-

If you can not count
put your haikus in section
"Not Haiku, thank you"

~o~

Though a master shuns
full linear narrative
An antelope farts

~o~

Haiku: a verse form.
Heptadekasyllabic,
in three lines, like these.

~o~

Of course, none of these
Are haikus, anyway; no
Symbols of nature

~o~

(reply)
that's ridiculous
perhaps there are exceptions
but all is nature.

~o~

Haiku now easy
You only need skill to count
And skill to bullshit

~o~

See, look at this here.
I can write a good haiku.
Can you write one too?

~o~

Any moron can
write haiku; just stop at the
seventeenth syllab–

~o~

The Haiku Meter:
Five syllables, then seven,
and five more finish.

~o~

Haiku are strange poems.
They don't typically rhyme
though one does, this time.

~o~

Damn Haiku Nazis
Chime in with "FIVE SEVEN FIVE!!!"
This is really just...

A strict western in-
terpretation of what should
be sublime. Word. Yo.



The meta haiku
Describes poems with rhythm
But can they dance too?

~o~

Haiku addiction
You cannot just stop at one
You'll write too many

~o~

Haiku and humour
What clever wit wrote this shit?
I don't get the jokes

~o~

Lots of these haikus
Are in different formats, like
This list, right below:

sometimes they have no
caps or punctuation and
lots of misspellings

Maybe it'll have
Caps and punctuation; their
Authors read and write.

Möglicherweise
ist das haiku in eine
andere Sprache.

Make all poems same
format, so if that happens
delete these five poems.

~o~

Intervene, I do
Sitting under falling leaves
Haikus must have nature

~o~

The jay does not count
Her Spring-time song at dawn:
She only exhales

~o~

The Haiku infinite;
every time you finish
someone writes one more

~o~

Just for the record
This is the last haiku of
The meta Haiku

~o~

Last haiku no more
This one replaces it now
Let's all write poems

~o~

Haiku's are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

~o~

In Secondary School,
I learnt the boring flat rules,
Of Japanese Haiku.

~o~

A Meta Haiku
Is a frightful thought for us too,
Please think it through!

~o~

Peršyj ŕadok ce
A ce je, pevno, druhyj
Tož maješ xajku.

~o~

Miscellaneous Haiku

~o~

A A A A A
A A A A A A A
A A A A A!

~o~

Some add their haiku
to the start; some to the end.
I guess I'll do both.

~o~

My thumb extended
It is for her I compose
this, my Hitch Haiku

~o~

Sophia is hot
In much the way the sun is
Twelve million degrees

~o~

I'm sure Sophia
Is the capital city
Of Bulgaria

~o~

Sophia was right
This site is offline at night
Need twelve sided dice

~o~

ソフィアさん
本買う道で
拾う猫

~o~

this is pathetic
these angry lines of winter
begging for your crotch

~o~

Vão tomar no cu
Vão se foder
Americanos são todos viados

~o~

Sandwiches are great
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Beats out deli meat

~o~

Almighty goddess
Please save me from school's boredom
Save me, Sophia

~o~

Semitemos sdrawkcab sdrow
Era gniyonna fi uoy
Era gninrael ot dear

~o~

This section thinks it's
Better than the others for
Having three columns

Regards Sophia
my old internet browser
cuts and pastes bold o's

~o~

I'm eager to know
if there are any words that
can't be used here but

the problem with this
is of course that you couldn't
tell them to me here

~o~

Sophia Sophi
a Sophia Sophia
Sophia Sophi

~o~

Lame running gag from
Luxembourg makes Sophia
shed a bitter tear

~o~

Parsley and Garlic
Sophia uses them well
for Spaghetti Sauce

~o~

Oh please Sophia
Take it off for us to see
Would you look like this?

~o~

(reply)
No, she wouldn't, 'cause
The potato is only
Named after Sophie.

~o~

There are 10 kinds of
people: those who know bina-
ry and those who don't

~o~

Crying cockles and
Mussels, alive, alive oh.
And, erm, Sophia

~o~

Online pharmacy
Have longer and better sex
More info? Click Here

~o~

here is my pet rock
it died a few days ago
THE NATION WILL WEEP

~o~

I love you bacon
You have no haiku I found
So I wrote you one

~o~
I believe that So-
phia is okay although
Athena's better

Newest haikus are
not seen much down here, but it's
chronological.

~o~

Japanese poems
are so darn short that they can
barely say any-

~o~

No, I disagree.
Antidisestablishment-
arianism.

~o~

I once saw a cow
It was a very big cow
It mooed quite loudly.

~o~

And now for something
Completely different, lo!
Spam, spam, spam, spam, SPAM!

~o~

Procrastination
My one destination when
Sophia has gone

~o~

Damnit if only
Sophia would impeach that
Friggin' POTUS dude.

~o~

Snowman in a field
listening to the raindrops
wishing him fairwell

~o~

Sofjo stolico
Bułgarii - grząską myślą
zażółć gęślą jaźń

~o~

My name's Sophia.
No, really, I'm serious.
Worship me, you fools.

~o~

I called to the wind,
Who's there? Sophia it was
Still knocks at my gate.

~o~

penis penis penis

penis penis penis

penis Sophia.


~o~

Masturbation
the only explanation
for Sophia on-screen.

Not Haiku, thank you

~o~

Sophia, goddess
of haiku, smites the wicked
with a big red stamp

~o~

Use the tag line for
Indicating non-haikus
Bless'd by Sophia

~o~

NOT HAIKU
There once was a girl called Sophia
Who refused to show us her rear
So with much kitten huffing
And Oscar Wilde guffing
We set up a site click right here: Naked Sophia

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Ow Sophia. How can I?
Sophia... Wow. How should I?
Hohoho Sophia.

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia oh Sophia
oh Sophia...
...Screw it.


~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia just wished
For some fine dishes
of lobster knishes

~o~

NOT HAIKU
lobster knishes
do not exist; if they did
it would violate kashruth

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Oh Sophia, one day I`ll tell you

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia is I think
A god of some thinkadink
And worship we must

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia is against
The pretty Polis
But you need to be French

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia so sexy!
Sophia so fine!
I want to fuck her in the behind

~o~

NOT HAIKU
S is for Sophia
O is for Oh!
Phia is what's left

NOT HAIKU
Sophia loves
Counting syllables
In poetry

~o~

NOT HAIKU
不懂……

~o~

NOT HAIKU

Oh Sophia, one day I`ll tell you
Oh dear Sophie, fruit of my loins
Makes stiff many little boy's groins
Wearing shirts tighter than sixty virgins
Makes old men jump out of their skins

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia labia
Massage them gently
She has two cows

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Now here's a word that
won't fit into a haiku:
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

~o~

Who is Sophia?
What is she?
That all our swains commend her?
Holy, fair,
And wise is she
The Heav'ns such grace did lend her
|: - That adored she might be. :|
Is she kind as
She is fair?
For beauty lives with kindness;
To her eyes
Love doth repair
To help him of his blindness;
|: And being help'd in habits there. :|

Then to Sophia
Let us sing,
That Sophia is excelling;
She excels
Each mortal thing
Upon the dull Earth dwelling;
|: - To her garlands let us bring. :|

NOT HAIKU
How are you gentlemen!
All your base are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction.

~o~

ZLATIBORIAN NON-HAIKU
Я сам дивно женско име,
аiде, ђаче, погоди ме!
Податке ти даѥм ове:
у сущедноi ѥдноi земљи
главни град се тако зове
ко што се зовем и я.
Знаш да ѥ то София!

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Hope she likes Tanka
I'm not in a haiku mood
Tired and drunk, too.

Yet the thought of Sophia
Compels me to write for her.

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia, could
you pick up some milk on your way home?

~o~

NOT HAIKU, BUT COMPELLING NONETHELESS
My large dog
has a thing for all things chocolate and Sophia.

~o~

NOT HAIKU
System.out.println("Sophia.equals(hot)"):
System.out.println("I'd do her".RightHereOnTheBathroomFloor):
System.out.println("Please come to my house and hang out with me, Sophia"):
System.out.println("I want to play Mario with you"):
System.out.println("Naked"):

~o~

ไม่เป็นไฮกุ (NOT HAIKU)
อันไซโคลพีเดียของโซเฟีย
โซเฟียครองโลก
โซเฟียครองพิภพ

~o~

NOT HAIKU
Sophia, who did know
That, behind the farm house you
did one day show me

What I so wanted
to see, to touch, to feel
your very own sex (appeal)

~o~

Those last entries were
definitely not haiku
Sophia feels shame

~o~

How can none of these
people in the last section
even COUNT at all?

~o~

~o~

~o~

For other pages
see disambiguation
about Sophia

~o~

Additional
disambiguation our
Sophia has here

~o~

There is something else
similar to a haiku
it's called a Tanka

~o~

Notes for Sophia

~o~

Thank you Sophia
For all of the laughs you gave
To us common fools

~o~

Sophia, Sophia,
I wonder. Every second, I wonder.
Can you hand me the beer?



Sophia, could you,
Also pick up some more beer?
I am seeing things.

~o~

Do me a favor,
Keep this just between us two,
my wife gets jealous.

~o~

And this middle haiku line

~o~

Haiku shall this be
For to honor Sophia
Says master Yoda

~o~

Here you are alone
But in Soviet Russia
Sophia fuck YOU!!

~o~

I've tried to write a
Haiku, but I wound up one
Syllable short.

~o~

To finish the page

~o~

And so we shall leave
This page in the wake of them
The haiku are gone

~o~

Unpoetia banner.png Poetry for people who hate poetry