Necropaxx!!!
Do Some Work!!!
Never!
Hi. I'm Necropaxx. No, that isn't my real name, and quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed you'd assume that. I am 19 years old, drop-dead gorgeous, and single. You do the math. I live in oppressively hot California, and dream of one day living in someplace cooler.
I've been on Uncyclopedia since the Spring of 2007 (otherwise known as the Golden Years) and I've written twelve featured articles and earned the Writer of the Month award in that time. I'm not very active any more, so don't expect a prompt reply for pretty much anything. I don't go on Sundays because that's the Sabbath. I am a religious conservative, thereby making me unique on Uncyc. But I don't care, I love this place, even if you are all a buncha' commie pinko bleeding-heart liberals. I am not an administrator, but I still like helping the polite n00b who asks for it. I used to be one myself. No, really.
On the subject of writing, I have written a couple of original articles, but I'm better at doing rewrites. I like writing about generic subjects, like Toaster, Top hat, or Elevator, because I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site. Not that "style articles" aren't funny, I just think encyclopedic prose is "da bomb." On a contradictory note, I love all of Cajek's articles. It should also be noted that if I have anything up for feature, I am completely incapable of writing anything during that time. It's very unfortunate. In conclusion, I love Uncyclopedia and so should you. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~}
Many eons ago, back when Uncyclopedia was nearly two years old, a certain IP was surfing the web. His friend came up to him, and lo, he said,
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Hey check out this website it's funny, lol.
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The IP typed in the address and hit [ENTER]. On the Main page he saw the featured article, Homeless nerds. The IP lolled loudly. "This is great!" he said. "I should make an account." And so NECROPAXX came to Uncyclopedia. The name Necropaxx was fashioned out of three parts: "Necro" means death, "Pax" means peace, and "X" marks the spot. "Whoa, that's deep," you say. "I know," says I.
Necropaxx began his career leaving Captain Obvious quotes on pages like Black Jesus and template spamming. Lame, I know, but Necropaxx didn't know any better. He got banned for a week by Famine. He appealed the ban and Famine said, quite reasonably, "STFU n00b!" and left him to wither and die.
Then something truly amazing happened. Instead of creating a sockpuppet to create a forum post that went something like "OMG I haet you guize you stingk I'm going hoem", Necropaxx took it like a good user. "The experience was truly life-changing," Necropaxx said later. "It turned me from an annoying n00b/vandal into a slightly less annoying but well-mannered n00bl3t. Thank you, Famine." Necropaxx later rescinded the "thank you, Famine" comment, saying, "Who am I kidding? I hate Famine."
After the ban was up, Necropaxx decided to write an article. Since he was Mormon, he put his energy into a Mormon article. After much blood, sweat, and tears, out came The Great Mormon-Catholic War. Don't read it, it's awful. But it was a brave start for the young lad. He wrote a supplementary article, Holy Cheese, that actually got featured later. One day, he read UnBooks:Gallows Humor, and tried to rip it off with UnBooks:Diary of a Fat Girl. It didn't work. At all. He was stagnated, but thanks to many reviews, Necropaxx got back on track and got Holy Cheese featured. He got better at writing and got two more features, earning him a spot in the Hall of Shame. The rest, as they say, is history.
My Master Works and Other Assorted Junk[edit | edit source]
These are all the articles I have written, amazing or otherwise.
Gub.
Miserable Failures and Orphaned Ideas[edit | edit source]
These are all the images that I have made myself, brilliant or not. (Usually not, if we're being honest.)
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
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This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!
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This person created an image which became one of the
Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.
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Golden Urinal
You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!
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UNSOC DOUBLEPLUSGOOD MEMBER
PARTY MEMBER HAS DOUBLEPLUSGOOD DEEDS REF PAGE
MEDAL GIVEWISE SHOWN DOUBLEPLUSBIG AS AWARD IS PARTY HONOR
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Woo!
Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort",
which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise!
This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this,
he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go!
You're not invited though. Don't take it personally. |
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Javascap has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.
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These templates all serve some purpose. (Just don't ask me, I don't know.)
Please Take Care
A large amount of fire has been reported in the area. The purtyness of it means that it is dangerous. FEAR!
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Necropaxx
has awarded you a Chocolate Cake for voting on VFH.
You may eat now.
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Necropaxx loves Hippies and you do too.
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PS: No physical contact, please, the smell will rub off.
Thanks for voting on Hippies on VFH.
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Necropaxx hath bestowed upon thou the illustrious powers of the glorious Top Hat!!
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PS: You must not be an idiot to safely use this top hat.
Thanks for voting for Top hat on VFH.
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OUI!
Necropaxx's belated thanks go with you for voting positively on Siege of Bordeaux. Remember, les français ne sont jamais au dessus de dérision!
Translate it yourself, je suis trop de fatigue.
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***You Are Dead***
Necropaxx's soul-felt thanks go with you for the For vote on Grim Reaper.
Remember, Grim's just a normal guy with the greatest job in the world.
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Hi there! This big ol' grin must mean this article
is being reviewed by:
• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider
GOING AWAY and REVIEWING SOMETHING ELSE).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing
at {{{1}}}
feel free to remove it and give Necropaxx a swift kick up the butt for being such a loser).
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Going Down?
Necropaxx would like to thank you profusely for reading his article and actually liking it enough to vote For.
The picture on the right is exactly what you wouldn't see in an elevator. Sorry. :(
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This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets. |
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This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land; but is really a sad little nerd person. They take comfort in the fact that you are too. |
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"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?"
Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion.
Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?
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Thank you very much for helping to make me August 2009's Writer of the Month.
This is hands down one of the best moments I've had on Uncyclopedia. And you helped make it possible. Thank you.
• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}
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My little grey cells, zey 'ave solved ze case!
Necropaxx would very much like to thank you for uncovering who the real murderer was.
"If not for your 'elp, mon ami, I fear zat Monsieur Murderer might 'ave escaped."
Double thanks for making this my tenth feature! Woo!
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Userboxes
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This user is constantly PEEING. They apologize for the mess. |
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Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.
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Necropaxx is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them. |
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Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil!
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This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there. |
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This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land; but is really a sad little nerd person. They take comfort in the fact that you are too. |
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This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay. |
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This user owns a slick lookin'
Sony PSP
Woop-ti-doo...
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This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Ljlego. |
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This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets. |
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This user's IQ is over cheese. |
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User goodthink U.W.P member.
Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood. |
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This user has created 4 userboxes because one liners are easy. |
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This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
16 years, 11 months and 24 days.
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This user reserves the right to completely screw up their edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia. |
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This user is right-handed.
In Latin, they would be Dexter. |
Sense |
This user promotes the radical idea of having sense. |
Sense |
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This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades. |
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This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq. |
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This user is searching for the Cabal. If they go missing, please inform their family. |
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18 |
This user is 18 years old. Woop-ti-doo. |
18 |
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This user is Single but is currently stalking someone. |
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official |
This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here. |
official |
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I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future. |
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This user has been blocked 3 times. |
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This user is a veteran/combatant of the war. |
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This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun, and believes themselves to be Irish. |
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This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime. |
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"Fail" |
If by "Necropaxx" you mean "fail" then yes. |
"Fail" |
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I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me! |
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This user uses Google Chrome, because it's GOOGLE. |
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This user is interested in free thought as they sure as hell don't want to pay! |
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RSRS |
This user no longer plays RunEscape. Congratulate them on their recovery and welcome them back to reality. |
RSRS |
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This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.
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Sir Necropaxx GUN WOTM POTM VFH [Prayers and Curses] 
