User:Necropaxx

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~}

User:Necropaxx

Necropaxx!!!

Do Some Work!!!

Never!

Important Information

Hi. I'm Necropaxx. No, that isn't my real name, and quite frankly, I'm a little disappointed you'd assume that. I am 19 years old, drop-dead gorgeous, and single. You do the math. I live in oppressively hot California, and dream of one day living in someplace cooler.

I've been on Uncyclopedia since the Spring of 2007 (otherwise known as the Golden Years) and I've written twelve featured articles and earned the Writer of the Month award in that time. I'm not very active any more, so don't expect a prompt reply for pretty much anything. I don't go on Sundays because that's the Sabbath. I am a religious conservative, thereby making me unique on Uncyc. But I don't care, I love this place, even if you are all a buncha' commie pinko bleeding-heart liberals. I am not an administrator, but I still like helping the polite n00b who asks for it. I used to be one myself. No, really.

On the subject of writing, I have written a couple of original articles, but I'm better at doing rewrites. I like writing about generic subjects, like Toaster, Top hat, or Elevator, because I think encyclopedic articles that parody Wikipedia are the soul of the site. Not that "style articles" aren't funny, I just think encyclopedic prose is "da bomb." On a contradictory note, I love all of Cajek's articles. It should also be noted that if I have anything up for feature, I am completely incapable of writing anything during that time. It's very unfortunate. In conclusion, I love Uncyclopedia and so should you. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~}

Origins

Many eons ago, back when Uncyclopedia was nearly two years old, a certain IP was surfing the web. His friend came up to him, and lo, he said,

“ Hey check out this website it's funny, lol. ”

The IP typed in the address and hit [ENTER]. On the Main page he saw the featured article, Homeless nerds. The IP lolled loudly. "This is great!" he said. "I should make an account." And so NECROPAXX came to Uncyclopedia. The name Necropaxx was fashioned out of three parts: "Necro" means death, "Pax" means peace, and "X" marks the spot. "Whoa, that's deep," you say. "I know," says I.
Necropaxx began his career leaving Captain Obvious quotes on pages like Black Jesus and template spamming. Lame, I know, but Necropaxx didn't know any better. He got banned for a week by Famine. He appealed the ban and Famine said, quite reasonably, "STFU n00b!" and left him to wither and die.

Then something truly amazing happened. Instead of creating a sockpuppet to create a forum post that went something like "OMG I haet you guize you stingk I'm going hoem", Necropaxx took it like a good user. "The experience was truly life-changing," Necropaxx said later. "It turned me from an annoying n00b/vandal into a slightly less annoying but well-mannered n00bl3t. Thank you, Famine." Necropaxx later rescinded the "thank you, Famine" comment, saying, "Who am I kidding? I hate Famine."

After the ban was up, Necropaxx decided to write an article. Since he was Mormon, he put his energy into a Mormon article. After much blood, sweat, and tears, out came The Great Mormon-Catholic War. Don't read it, it's awful. But it was a brave start for the young lad. He wrote a supplementary article, Holy Cheese, that actually got featured later. One day, he read UnBooks:Gallows Humor, and tried to rip it off with UnBooks:Diary of a Fat Girl. It didn't work. At all. He was stagnated, but thanks to many reviews, Necropaxx got back on track and got Holy Cheese featured. He got better at writing and got two more features, earning him a spot in the Hall of Shame. The rest, as they say, is history.

My Master Works and Other Assorted Junk

Articles

These are all the articles I have written, amazing or otherwise.

Featured

• Holy Cheese —WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
• HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd —Excelsior!
• Toaster (rw) —Hall of Shame!
• Top Hat —Jolly good, wot!
• The Siege of Bordeaux —Oui, m'sieu!
• Hippies (rw) —Featured, man!
• Grim Reaper (rw) —I've come for your soul... and chips.
• Elevator (rw) —Going down?
• Antbortion (rw) —Click click click munch!
• UnMysteries:The Mysterious Affair at the World War Two Convention —Zut alors! A clue!
• UnBooks:Gone Fishing —Hot diggity!
• Why?:Do I need to provide this? —Won't you tell me?!?

Up for Feature

Gub.

Decent

• UnNews:Woman Gives Birth to Weasel
• Great Mormon-Catholic War - first article. *sniff*
• UnNews:Nerd gang robs store
• Fire - rewrite
• UnPoetia:The Link Less Traveled
• You're One of Them! (with a terrible audio)
• UnTunes:Are we human or are we cancer? (with tone-deaf singing inside!)

Miserable Failures and Orphaned Ideas

• UnBooks:Diary of a Fat Girl
• Jeremiah
• Doomsday
• User:Necropaxx/The Los Angeles Marshmallow Riots of 1992
• Postcard
• User:Necropaxx/UnNews:Internet memes being used in popular culture
• User:Necropaxx/bunnies1

In Progress (kinda)

• Rewrite Jesus Christ Superstar - the greatest rock band ever made.

Ideas

• Rewrite Mormons at User:Necropaxx/Mormons - someday, I swears it!
• K. J. Parker - one of my favorite authors, and also a balloon waiting to be popped.
• Gub - gub.

Pictures

These are all the images that I have made myself, brilliant or not. (Usually not, if we're being honest.)

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  FEATURED!!!

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Audios

• For Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion

My Wonderful Awards

Grand Cross of the Order

	Writer of the Month August 2009

	Uncyclopedian of the Month December 2009

	Potatochopper of the Month March 2008

	Reviewer of the Month January 2010

	Useless Gobshite of the Month June 2010

Featured Article: Holy Cheese {{{message}}} Featured Article: Toaster {{{message}}} Featured Article: Siege of Bordeaux {{{message}}} Featured Article: Grim Reaper {{{message}}} Featured Article: Antbortion {{{message}}} Featured Article: UnBooks:Gone Fishing {{{message}}}

Featured Article: HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd {{{message}}} Featured Article: Top Hat {{{message}}} Featured Article: Hippies {{{message}}} Featured Article: Elevator {{{message}}} Featured Article: UnMysteries:The Mysterious Affair at the World War Two Convention {{{message}}} Featured Article: Why?:Do I need to provide this? {{{message}}}

Featured Image: I burning your dog real.jpg

{{{message}}}

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Golden Urinal

[[File:{{{image}}}|link={{{link}}}]] P.E.E.I.N.G.

This user created UnBooks:Gone Fishing, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

This user is a Fellow in the Potatochoppers' Guild, and has earned a great deal of respect.

UNSOC DOUBLEPLUSGOOD MEMBER PARTY MEMBER HAS DOUBLEPLUSGOOD DEEDS REF PAGE MEDAL GIVEWISE SHOWN DOUBLEPLUSBIG AS AWARD IS PARTY HONOR

Woo! Yay, go you! Under User has decided that you are "quite a decent sort", which is apparently one of his highest terms of praise! This is therefore a good thing, and in accordance with this, he's throwing a party down the manhole to celebrate. Look at him go! You're not invited though. Don't take it personally.

Javascap has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Modusoperandi has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

The Woodburninator has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

teh_pwnerator has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

My Snazzy Signatures

• • • • Sir Necropaxx GUN WOTM POTM VFH [Prayers and Curses] contribs - Classic (and by that I mean old)
• Sir Necropaxx GUN WotM UotM PotM RotM VFH VFP CM - Official
• --SIR Pretentious Loser (Have a mocha cappuccino and a sit down) - Loser (truth in advertising)
• • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} - Current

• WHAT now??? - Parody of Why do I need to provide this?'s sig.

My Boring Templates

These templates all serve some purpose. (Just don't ask me, I don't know.)

This user is Czechoslovakian and can spell better than you! (List of all Czech Uncyclopedians)

Necropaxx has awarded you a Chocolate Cake for voting on VFH. You may eat now.

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

	Necropaxx awards you your certificate of quitting!
	PS: Thanks for learning HowTo:Stop Being a Nerd on VFH.

	Necropaxx loves Hippies and you do too.
	PS: No physical contact, please, the smell will rub off. Thanks for voting on Hippies on VFH.

	Necropaxx hath bestowed upon thou the illustrious powers of the glorious Top Hat!!
	PS: You must not be an idiot to safely use this top hat. Thanks for voting for Top hat on VFH.

OUI! Necropaxx's belated thanks go with you for voting positively on Siege of Bordeaux. Remember, les français ne sont jamais au dessus de dérision! Translate it yourself, je suis trop de fatigue.

***You Are Dead*** Necropaxx's soul-felt thanks go with you for the For vote on Grim Reaper. Remember, Grim's just a normal guy with the greatest job in the world.

This user will never forget October 23, 2008 the day that Wikia sold its soul . :-S

Hi there! This big ol' grin must mean this article is being reviewed by: • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} (While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider GOING AWAY and REVIEWING SOMETHING ELSE). (Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing at {{{1}}} feel free to remove it and give Necropaxx a swift kick up the butt for being such a loser).

Going Down? Necropaxx would like to thank you profusely for reading his article and actually liking it enough to vote For. The picture on the right is exactly what you wouldn't see in an elevator. Sorry. :(

This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.

This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land; but is really a sad little nerd person. They take comfort in the fact that you are too.

"Feeling any pain yet, Mrs. Davis?" Necropaxx is delighted to thank you for your For vote on his recent rewrite, Antbortion. Remember, kids, this is what happened to your would-be brother Jeffy. Go kick your parents for him, why don't you?

My little grey cells, zey 'ave solved ze case! Necropaxx would very much like to thank you for uncovering who the real murderer was. "If not for your 'elp, mon ami, I fear zat Monsieur Murderer might 'ave escaped." Double thanks for making this my tenth feature! Woo!

Hot diggity, boy! You caught that fish so good that Necropaxx is gonna thank you! "Thank you." ~ Necropaxx

And what do you want? You think that because you voted for Why?:Do I need to provide this? you'll get some kind of thank you from Necropaxx? Ha!

My Useless Userboxes

Userboxes

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This user is constantly PEEING. They apologize for the mess.	♂ This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes. ♂	This user will never forget October 23, 2008 the day that Wikia sold its soul . :-S
UnSignpost Home Delivery The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!	This user is Mormon and believes all articles will be featured, but there will be 3 levels of VFH. They have a book that could change your life.	23 This user has written 23 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities. 23
This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)
7,500+ This user has over 7,500 edits. Duh! 7,500+		Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.
This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave them a message »	Necropaxx is an UnTunes contributor. Hearing protection should always be worn within fifty yards of them.	This user joined the Folding@home Team , because they give a damn & so should you.
Dieser Benutzer ist ein offizielles Mitglied Der Unwehr. Wir sind hier zu die Schwachen töten und die Starke bauen. Sieg Heil!	BRIGADEGENERAL of Der Unwehr	8687 I have contributed 8687 pints points to the Uncyclopedia Folding@home team. 8687
MEH This user redefines lazy! MEH	This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because they think that they take things way too seriously over there.	This user pretends to be an awesome warrior from a mystical land; but is really a sad little nerd person. They take comfort in the fact that you are too.
This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.	This user is one of His Noodleyness' very own chosen people.	:o This user thinks the admins are cool and sexy.
This user owns a slick lookin' Sony PSP Woop-ti-doo...	This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.	This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Ljlego.
This user can be trusted with your deepest, darkest secrets.	This user's IQ is over cheese.	This user is Czechoslovakian and can spell better than you! (List of all Czech Uncyclopedians)
{{{2}}}	This user has created 4 userboxes because one liners are easy.	This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 17 years, 9 months and 2 days.
This user reserves the right to completely screw up their edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia.	This user is right-handed. In Latin, they would be Dexter.	Sense This user promotes the radical idea of having sense. Sense
This user's future is so bright, they've gotta wear shades.	This user rejects the theory of global warming , or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.
4 This user has recorded 4 audio files, because they love the sound of their own voice. 4	This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.	This user is searching for the Cabal. If they go missing, please inform their family.
This user is a part of the Missing User Project. You may refer to them as a MUPpet.	18 This user is 18 years old. Woop-ti-doo. 18	teen This idle layabout is a teenager, so hangs around bus stops in large intimidating groups and beats up old ladies for drug money. Or maybe they aren't one after all… teen
This user is Single but is currently stalking someone.	9/21 This user will never forget the events of 9/21/07; the day Uncyclopedia was huffed by terrorists. 9/21	This user is an angel.
This user gots a shovel. Yes they does.	official This user is official. They get all their user boxes from here. official	I collect userboxes as if they were trading cards, hoping that they may be collectors items worth something in the future.
This user has been blocked 3 times.		This user is the sworn Nemesis of <insert name here>.
This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun , and believes themselves to be Irish .	This user believes participation in the consumption of cheese is an exquisite pastime.	This user misses Dr. Skullthumper.
This user wants to pee in Cajek's hat.	"Fail" If by "Necropaxx" you mean "fail" then yes. "Fail"	This user is a cereal killer.
I am an assassin, and can kill you anywhere you go from in the shadows. Fear me!	This user uses Google Chrome, because it's GOOGLE.	This user identifies as straight, and is probably grossed out by gay PDA.
free This user is interested in freethought as they sure as hell don't want to pay! free	RSRS This user no longer plays RunEscape . Congratulate them on their recovery and welcome them back to reality . RSRS	LV-2 This user considers themselves an intermediate gamer and so probably has some sort of social life.