User talk:Kippy
“Battle not with subhuman faglords, lest ye become a raw uncondensed pile of faggotry, and if you gaze into the FOUR buttholes of the Internet, the buttholes gaze also into you.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche channeling Mr-ex777
Thanks for your vote![edit source]
- You're very welcome, sweetie pie. -- Kip the Egg
Talk Works 19:37, Apr. 30, 2021
UnSignpost delivery[edit source]
This is a telemarketing version of the UnSignpost, which has been provided to all active Uncyclopedians (selected by Cassie) free of charge. Enjoy! MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 01:40, 1 May 2021 (UTC)
"Vandalism, eh? Fuck off already," they said, whilst throwing bags of feces at our new dumpyard.
Vote for Sandwiches: Triple Resignation, Quintuple the Drama
By Cassie
Following the resignation of two of our longtimemost bureaucrats, EMC and Zombiebaron, in addition to the resignation of admin CandidToaster, a new wave rejuvenated much of the now-ancient television show Vote for Sandwiches. MrX and Hipponias quickly climbed the ranks; Shabidoo received the same treatment, but ultimately withdrew. Zana Dark and JJPMaster were both nominated for a new category, interface operator, instead of the traditional sandwich role granted.
Uncyclopedia's Technologies are Finally Modernized
By Cassie
it has been a long time in the making, but Uncyclopedia's editing technologies have finally been optimized for the new decade. An introduction of a new extended-confirmed protection level has enabled famous articles, such as AAAAAAAAA!, to see the light of commoners' editing again. Utilities such as Huggle, RedWarn, CurateThisPage, autoarchiving, and a lot more has been implemented thanks to JJPMaster. Many gnomes have been working on this; as such, please treat their work with respect!
Biopic
This edition's biopic is about the joy of templating. Templating is a fine art which can be practiced on Uncyclopedia, its parody Wikipedia, and so many other places. It can furthermore be expanded to "module coding", which produces the same stuff albeit in a much more efficient and dynamic way. Come try templating now!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week COVID-19 (6/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Following 1.5+ years of hiatus, Cassie has taken the lead, in a unilateral albeit undramatic manner, and has designated themselves as the lead editor of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
Supergeeky1: 
Boner.
Thank you[edit source]
- You're very welcome. And thank you for the Frogeline. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:47, May. 1, 2021
Cookie clicker[edit source]
This may not be safe for work. The lines, shapes and colors may be offensive to young children.
- Thanks. I suppose. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 07:28, May. 3, 2021
The awful truth[edit source]
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
RARITY IS BEST PONY
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 23:51, 4 May 2021 (UTC)
Talk Cupcakes PARTY HARD 
00:41, May. 7, 2021
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 20:17, 10 May 2021 (UTC)
Poo Lit Surprise is back![edit source]
The 15th Poo Lit Surprise contest is here! This multifaceted competition, with four distinct and open categories, is open between June 1st and June 21st. Five $10 prizes, as well as a bonus $5 prize, are up in the air! Here are the open categories this year:
- Best Mainspace Article - for articles in the traditional sense.
- Best Alternate Namespace Article - for stuff like UnNews or even UnTunes!
- Best File - replacing Best Potatochop, all self-made files are allowed here (with a few exceptions)!
- Best Rewrite - for the best already-existing articles rewritten from scratch.
- Best Template - A brand new category this year: the best template wins!
To register, please consult Uncyclopedia:Poo Lit Surprise, add your name to the table in the category you wish to join, and link your entry once you are ready. Everyone is welcome, regardless of seniority!
Judges may enlist at User:Cassie/PLS/Scoring. Judges may not participate in the category or categories they enlist in, but are free to participate in other categories!
Poo LIt Surprise due date coming up[edit source]
Hey all! You have three (3) more days to submit something to the Poo Lit Surprise contest if you wish to do so.
Good luck with your creations! Cassandra (talk) 23:29, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
B A N N E D[edit source]
Blocked[edit source]
03:53, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Diabetes time![edit source]
Enjoy, you bundle of sticks. :) --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 23:36, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
You win[edit source]
She's too cute, I just can't! --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 22:52, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- Some or all of the content shared in this message conflicts with guidance from public health experts regarding not shoving your head up your ass. Learn more MrX blow me
23:14, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- Says the Rarity-hater. --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 20:48, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
Message from Rock-O-Jello[edit source]
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 23:07, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
- ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:12, Oct. 21, 2021
>:([edit source]
ADMIT THE TRUTH OR I'LL TELL YOUR MOM, KIPPY! #Rarity4BestPony --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 22:39, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
Haloween article[edit source]
Hey Kip. A new user has been making substantial changes to featured articles. While many of the changes are useful, many of the changes tend to change the tone or original writing style. I undid those changes just in case you want to review them to decide if you want to keep them or some of them. ShabiDOO 11:06, 12 September 2021 (UTC)
- Oh hey, thanks for the tip. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 19:15, Oct. 2, 2021
Just so you know[edit source]
The Top 5 Best Ponies are as follows:
- Rarity
- Apple Bloom
- Pinkie Pie
- Fluttershy
- The Great & Powerful Trixie
DEAL WITH IT, YOU STUPID FAGLORD!!! >:3 --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 22:15, 20 October 2021 (UTC)
- -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:10, Oct. 21, 2021
- --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 19:33, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]
Up for grabs is the coveted Clark Griswold Award for Holiday Cheer. Who will be crowned Holiday Victor?
Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please) – 
(ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 13:15, 13 December 2021
Judging[edit source]
Hey duderino, don't forget about judging the turkey day ball comp. There are only a few short articles in each category so should go fast. ShabiDOO 20:04, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
- Right, I'll get on that. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:33, Dec. 14, 2021
Vandals incoming[edit source]
A horde of vandals will soon come prepare yourselves or be destroyed……… I dislike vandals (talk) 03:53, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Okay. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 06:45, Dec. 20, 2021
Hey![edit source]
Thanks for signing up to judge KMAHC! I noticed your signature still has the <small> tag in it. To get rid of that, first you gotta put <span style="font-size:smaller"> at the end of your signature and then update your signature preferences to this:
{{SUBST:nosubst|User:Kippy/sig}} [insert date preferences] {{SUBST:nosubst|UTC}}
{{UTC}} closes the open span tag. Another admin was upset about this awhile ago so I figured out how to fix it. Thanks again for the judgery! – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 10:19, 22 December 2021
Time for judging![edit source]
When you have a chance, please fill out the scorecards! I already copied the code in for you. XOXO – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 09:48, 28 December 2021
Conglaturations![edit source]
.jpg)
Thanks for all your wonderful contributions to Uncyclopedia!
Congratulations on winning the Writer of the Year 2020 award! Thanks for all your wonderful contributions to Uncyclopedia, both past and present! I know it's soon going to be 2022 and this award is way overdue, but oh well. Cassandra (talk) 04:36, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
Congratulations![edit source]
|
Useless Gobshite of the Year 2020 |
Renaming user[edit source]
Can you rename me the name I want for my userpage when it is renamed is CatFelinePuss--A777Cat (talk) 16:50, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
- Done. （Φ ω Φ） -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 00:05, Mar. 9, 2022
Blocked for 400 years[edit source]
00:17, 9 March 2022 (UTC)Blocked for ponicide[edit source]
06:43, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
Blocked for liking ponies[edit source]
G'fahahahaha.
Please vote![edit source]
Please vote here. It's very important!!! ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 13:55, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
A visit from a distant planet[edit source]
Hi! I am a visitor from a distant Uncyclopedia planet from Hungary. Well, I would like to present you our problems out there in our habitat.
The project there is a little bit in a dead end. Not that much, but the last admin left one year ago (the server decided to random not to recognize his account), and since then, no admin is present. I am the current Patrol of the Recent Changes. However, as a regular user, I haven't too much power. But a project needs an admin. And when I asked in e-mail the former admin, he said, that he has no idea, what to do, and I should ask somebody in the mother-ship, I mean, in the English uncyclopedia. So now I am here. What can I do to save the project? Hidiraaää (talk) 10:01, 1 June 2022 (UTC)(there)
- @Hidiraaää: I think you need to contact one of the bureaucrats of your wiki. Nobody here can really do anything about the Hungarian Uncyclopedia.
11:37, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Blocked again[edit source]
20:52, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
UnSignpost delivery for June 20, 2022[edit source]
Hello, Uncyclopedians. It is with great UnPleasure that I say that I, ARandomPage, pictured to the left, have stolen your UnSignpost, and am now the lead writer, sandwich-thrower, picture-stealer, and UnSignpost-er! URA HA HA! But fear not. I am willing to give you back your UnSignpost... for a high price of winning a Sandwich of the Month. wait. What? Now I have to actually write UnSignposts regularly? What do you mean I'm not an admin and can't write this thing yet? What do you mean by "the role of sandwich-thrower is one you just made up?".. GOD.
DAMMIT.Sandwich of the Month is finally up!
By ARandomPage
Yes, you heard that right! After 12 years and 5 months, we FINALLY made a Sandwich of the Month award! No more broken Sandwich of the Month link that just goes to Vote for Sysop; there's actually a Sandwich of the Month award now! This new award is used as a glorified thanks system. Or exactly the opposite. Yeah, uh... That's it. I don't know how to explain further. Templates for it were made as well, I guess. The best part? It's not on the award template, because whoever made the award can't edit fully-protected pages and is too lazy to make an edit request! Wait a second. That's the best part? Who put THAT sentence in?..
ARandomPage has gone crazy!
By Unnamed Space
BREAKING NEWS! It has been discovered that ARandomPage, one of Uncyclopedia's newer editors, is apparently a madman with too much time on their hands. A full list of their crimes is here:
- Opening the floodgates stopping the fish migration
- Labelling everyone traitors who deserve "depth"
- Naming an entire war-conflict-fiasco without any consensus
- Not bothering to finish either of their articles
- Fixing errors... wait, no, that's a good thing
- Vandalizing the Hobo Queen 2's page
- Stealing the UnSignpost
- Rearranging the UnSignpost... wait, I think it works better this way
- Not even bothering to check if anyone else has plans to steal the UnSignpost
Biopic This edition's biopic is one on stealing the UnSignpost. Since for some reason, literally nobody bothers to check on the UnSignpost, people can easily steal the UnSignpost... up to the part where they have to message Cassie, a sporadically-active bureaucrat, about delivering it. That, or manually deliver their stolen work to every UnSignpost subscriber... or, since you're doing it manually, just every active user. Hey, that's not such a bad idea! I'LL DO IT!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week HowTo:Get Expelled from School (6/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage steals the UnSignpost. Read the first section for more.
Chat Quote ..... IRC is dead. And I can't grab a quote from Discord since I don't have Discord.
ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 00:21, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
Um ...[edit source]
Why? --Brogo13 (talk) 15:24, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
- Oh, I was mainly intending to revert Zana Dark's category edit, and I assumed your edit was only making the image thumbnail smaller. I'll bring back your edits to my mistakes. Thanks. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:05, Jul. 6, 2022
Cinderbricked[edit source]
You have been bricked from editing for a period of tree minutes for being an Ally of the Cute. If you think there are good reasons for being unbricked, please write them down on a pineapple and shove it right up your ass. Once the block has expired, you are welcome to make useful contributions, but it is highly recommended that you stop being an Ally of the Cute. Thaaanks! --ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 04:27, 13 July 2022 (UTC) (UTC)
POV: Filter blocks you from making a fake discord message[edit source]
Hi Kippy.
I tried to make an edit on Discord (article) based on a real experience of mine where an admin at one of my former discord servers spouted a paragraph and proceeded to throw a 30-day ban at me for "Rule 2: Be respectful to all server members." Unfortunately I couldn't post the edit. The reason? "Email address insertion spam". Thing is, this is not an address. 172.112.210.32 (talk) 15:22, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
- Oh dear. What exactly did you try to post in the article? As in, the exact text. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 23:58, Jul. 18, 2022
For UnNews[edit source]
Kip! India's population is all gone! We need to report this!
– Preceding unsigned comment added by MuzzCheese (talk • contribs)
Rocko says bonjour![edit source]
enjoy the cavities, fa**ot! ;) --Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 23:36, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
It's been several months[edit source]
and you STILL haven't noticed what I did to your userboxes. ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 00:53, 28 July 2022 (UTC)
- Oh, nice. -- Kippy Pie
Talk Cupcakes PARTY HARD 
18:54, Jul. 28, 2022
Change username[edit source]
Could you please rename my account from TheTrangGuy to GeoffreyT2000? The latter username is the one I use on Wikimedia sites, including Wikipedia. TheTrangGuy (talk) 04:52, 12 August 2022 (UTC)
- Done. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 02:00, Aug. 14, 2022
Request to change username[edit source]
Hi, I would like to request user rename from Bert Wars to WackMagz04. Thanks. Bert Wars (talk) 09:32, 9 September 2022 (UTC)
Gay conversion therapy?[edit source]
What in heck happened to you? ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 12:23, 12 September 2022 (UTC)
- Oh, that was an inside joke. Rock-O-Jello asked for self-imposed bans on us for being a bunch of gaywads. I made mine infinite until I needed to edit again. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 22:28, Sep. 14, 2022
BEHOLD THE CUTENESS OF THE PINK GUMP AND HER TOOTHLESS GATOR![edit source]
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 22:12, 20 September 2022 (UTC)
Administrator Right[edit source]
I am actively countering vandalism across various this projects, and wish to get admin access here. So that i can delete and/or block as needed. I don't want to put the other sysops to any inconvenience by asking them to respond my delete, block request time and again. It would be more effective if i can do it on my own. Thank you for reading my request.I'm also interested in working with the interface Kind regards — Sourav • 15:30, 1 October 2022 (UTC)
- I'm sorry, we hold a community vote to determine new admins. Fortunately, it's October now, which is one of the months when we do that. Unfortunately, we generally vote for users with more experience. You're free to come on our Discord to discuss it and let us get to know you. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 15:36, Oct. 1, 2022
October is one of the twelve months we vote! L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 21:21, 1 October 2022 (UTC)- The other month is April. ARandomPage, the named space (ARandomTalkPage) (Stuff they do) 02:25, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
the truth shall set you free!!![edit source]
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 23:42, 12 October 2022 (UTC)
- -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 01:45, Oct. 13, 2022
Good Job (Ben. Cumb. article)[edit source]
Your article took a lot of work & time & is very original. Good job. Keep up the good work. If u want to do more funny writing create a variation on that same theme.
Smuggler 22:45, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
- Oh gee, thanks. I appreciate that. I have my tropes and style. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 23:09, Oct. 15, 2022
A request[edit source]
See User talk:MrX#Well, that was dumb. Basically I want my stuff back. Thanks. (@MrX:, I can't move pages as my account is new. Did you seriously forget only autoconfirmed users can move pages? xD) L10nM4st3r (2) (talk) 22:03, 17 October 2022 (UTC)
- It's my understanding that you want your old username and account back. I could otherwise change your current username to the old one, but that account already exists. You'd have to either log back into it, or we'd have to delete the whole account from the database. Which is a little above my expertise. Try asking Lyrithya? -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 03:01, Oct. 21, 2022
- Lyrithya is inactive. It's not possible to delete the account from the database due to MediaWiki's issues, but you can scramble the old username into gibberish, having nearly the same effect. Microsoft for POTUS (talk) 04:02, 21 October 2022 (UTC)
SPECIAL Delivery of the UnSignpost for October 23, 2022![edit source]
THIS. IS. NOT. A. DRILL! Just today, the Main Page has been deleted, and the person who started this deletion is none other than ARandomPage himself! How did this happen? Why did Page cause the deletion of the Main Page? You shall see, once you finish reading this UnSignpost!
This mess started on Discord, with ARandomPage, Cassie, Microsoft for POTUS, Banzaikitten, PF4Eva and JJPMaster. After an innocent discussion between all of them minus PF4 over a video, Banzai's wishes to cause minor inconveniences (which were stopped because Banzai is technically incompetent), and Svex the vandal, ARandomPage brought up the topic of the three pending deletions of the Main Page as per consensus on VFD. Page asked Cassie to delete the Main Page thrice sometime in the future, and Cassie, being Cassie, deleted the Main Page four minutes later. Microsoft then created the Main Page with the word "a", Banzai vandalized the Main Page, JJP declared that she was sad, and Cassie put up a notice saying that the Main Page was being set up. A few minutes later, Cassie had restored the Main Page as if nothing had happened. Peace returned to Uncyclopedia, and everyone got off scot-free... right?
WRONG! Despite the actual Main Page deletion crisis being over, the aftermath was arguably scarier than the real deletion. First, Cassie joke-blocked everyone involved in this discussion for a few minutes. Then, Banzai blocked Cassie for 100 years, as according to them, Cassie had committed the ultimate sacrilege. This caused Page to get mad and demand proper justice by turning himself in as the person who truly deleted the Main Page by telling Cassie to do it, even telling Banzai to give him the death penalty, which they refused. Though Page got a 900-year ban for a few minutes from Banzai, which Page celebrated, Banzai then essentially unblocked Page and went to sleep. Oh, what mess Banzaikitten will wake up to...
That's right, we have a new method of blocking! JJPMaster has invented the "symbolic block", which basically messes up a user's common.js file to deny them access to Uncyclopedia through conventional means. While JJPMaster was symbolically blocking Page, and later on, Banzai, Cassie opened a black hole on Page's userpage. According to JJPMaster herself, "i may have been waiting to "symbolically block" a human person ever since i got this permission".
And there you have it. That's the entire Main Page deletion incident of October 22, 2022. The true culprit of this crime has somehow escaped punishment... for now.
Biopic This is a special edition, I don't have time for this biopic.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Uncyclopedia:VFH (7/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News ARandomPage, the only person currently operating the UnSignpost, is in Uncyclopedia purgatory for high treason: deleting the Main Page.
Chat Quote Cass the Ban-Hammer Wielder🔨: I have no choice but to declare thunder on you
So...[edit source]
Would you mind terribly if I, say, added a little bit more to your Andromeda page? You see I've been submitting all these Greek characters and places lately, and am currently working on Perseus and I was just wondering if I could spruce up your article a bit? So far I've added Mount Olympus, Apollo, Ares, Hercules, and although not Greek, I did the Cassandra page as well. So, I was wanting to add some more into the whole body of Greek culture into all of this... Nacky (talk) 10:43, 10 February 2023 (UTC)Nacky
You alright mate?[edit source]
You just blocked yourself and deleted your own userpage. Then reverted both of those. I question your sanity. L10nM4st3r ROAR at me! / What my paws scratched 16:05, 13 February 2023 (UTC)
- Being imprisoned here for 16 years with 20,000 edits under the belt will do that to you. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 01:39, Feb. 14, 2023
YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED WITH HYPER-PINKITIS![edit source]
--Rock-O-Jello ❤ (I'm listening...) 00:18, 16 February 2023 (UTC)
Eff off commie invaders![edit source]
Buttigieg 2024 --Hotsoonay Meekoo (talk) 11:11, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Plos into bannings me[edit source]
i is of are into wrotened an article in which i saided dat u r a turdlicker, just to be hadoukened and infinite banned by you. hey kip los note me, u never kicked me but i exist and i love u. plos into smashing my skull with a hammer. and now: Kippy is our newest super long-pricked eternal and holy leader. --GIDOIN SINOIN
You've been drafted, kid[edit source]
 |
You have been invited to join the Uncyclopedia Marshals Service! If you choose to accept, you will recieve a free pair of aviators and free donuts. Let's make Uncyclopedia even better! |
Bad Motherfucker GET FUCKED! 02:22, 27 July 2023 (UTC)Abuse filter blocks me from editing my own sandbox, even though I was trying to edit normally.[edit source]
Hello, I'm new to Uncyclopedia. I tried to edit my own sandbox, but the abuse filter always blocks me from doing so. It's annoying, and it's redundant for this to happen. Can you please explain why? Thank you. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Superyoshi2023 (talk • contribs)
- Hi there Superyoshi. Sorry about that. I changed your user rights to confirmed user, so you shouldn't have any other issues with the abuse filter, but let me know if you do, or if you have any other questions. Cheers. MrX blow me 17:46, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
So I heard about Larry David assaulting Elmo on life television, but didn't watch it until now, because I knew it would upset me.[edit source]
Holy shit it's even worse than I thought. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Elmo is, like, the best friend to multiple generations of children. In the Sesame Street universe, ELMO IS A CHILD, who is currently putting mental health and caring for others in the spotlight.
And Larry Fucking David ... did ... that? And thought it was going to be ... funny? What?
What an asshole. What a stupid, self-centered, tone deaf asshole.
Full disclosure: all the time, when I was growing up, my dad would grab me by the shoulders and shake me while he screamed in my face. He choked me more than once. He was always out of control, always in a furious rage, and always terrifying. I'm a 51 year-old man and my heart is pounding right now, recalling how I felt when I was a little boy who loved Grover the way today's kids love Elmo.
So this appalling, unforgivable, despicable act hits more than one raw nerve for me, and I'm going to say what I wish I'd been able to say when this sort of thing happened to me.
Larry David, this was not okay, and your obviously insincere "apology" clearly communicates that you don't get that.
First of all, you aren't even in the segment, but you just decided to barge in and draw focus because ... why? You couldn't stand that a puppet brought people together in a meaningful way that you can't? You couldn't stand that your appearance on national television to promote your wildly successful series was delayed for a few seconds while the adults talked about mental health? You wanted to manufacture a viral moment where everyone gets to see what an asshole you are, so they'll tune in and watch you portray an asshole in the last season of your show that celebrates how great it is to be an asshole without ever experiencing the consequences of being an asshole?
I really want to know what raced through his tiny little mind, and why there was no voice or person who spoke up to stop him from expressing violence towards a children's puppet WHO WAS THERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW HIS LOVE AND EMPATHY FOR PEOPLE HAVING A TOUGH TIME MATTERED AND MADE A DIFFERENCE. Elmo and his dad were there to talk about empathy, love, kindness, and caring for each other.
Larry David was there to promote the final (thank god, maybe he'll go away now) season of a television series.
Like, read the room, dickhead. It isn't always about you being the center of attention. And understand what's happening in the moment, fucko. Understand that there are larger things in the world than you and your garbage ego.
You know who is watching the Today show with their parents? Kids who also watch Sesame Street. Elmo is an avatar for children all over the world. Children who are too small to understand Elmo is a puppet will know that a man attacked someone they love for no reason, and that will frighten and confuse them.
Elmo inspired a deeply meaningful and important moment of collective support among disparate people who have been struggling through the traumas of a pandemic, daily mass shootings, the rise of fascism and everything associated with Trump's violence and cruelty.
And shitty idiot Larry David couldn't leave it alone, for some reason. He had to indirectly tell everyone who opened their hearts to a Muppet that they were stupid, and he thought it was a good joke to physically attack and choke this character who is beloved by children and adults alike. You know what that tells impressionable young people about sharing their feelings?
Larry David strikes me as a person who mocks and belittles people who are vulnerable and sensitive, and enjoys being cruel, because he feels untouchable. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's who I see whenever I can't find the remote and he's on my television.
By contrast, Elmo and the Muppets teach and model to children all over the world that kindness and empathy aren't weak or stupid or any of the things people like Larry David and my dad think they are. Elmo and the Muppets teach children to be gentle and kind, to celebrate our different cultures and to embrace all of our complicated feelings. Elmo and the Muppets offer comfort and friendship and support to a world that is starving for it.
I hope that, when the dust settles, Larry David's appalling behavior will be a footnote to a larger story about how, for just one day, a Muppet made a difference and helped millions of people who are struggling to feel a little less alone. With one question, Elmo got lots and lots of people speaking openly and honestly about their mental health. A nontrivial number of people who none of us will ever know were inspired by it, and that was the last little nudge they needed to make the call or send the email to being healing. Elmo probably saved lives and relationships by opening that conversation.
A man who would belittle and mock that isn't much of a man at all. Shame on you, Larry David. — SG1|Hereish [citation needed] 22:45, 8 February 2024 (UTC)
- Listen, if you're here to dismissively blather on about how I can't take a joke, or it was just a joke, or I'm too sensitive, or whatever else comes from your Bag of Invalidation, please just leave.
- A lot of us who had the same visceral reaction to a grown man putting his hands on a child (Elmo is 4 years old) in anger, without consent, and then laughing about it all share an experience that you should be grateful you don't share with us. And when you say your shitty little toxic and cruel thing, when you reduce the whole thing to a puppet and a joke, you're doing to us what the adults around us did when we were kids. And it hurts all over again.
- Are you really someone who wants to hurt another person simply because you can? Maybe take the impulse to be a jerk and redirect it into being grateful you have no idea why this is so upsetting to so many of us. — SG1|Hereish [citation needed] 22:46, 8 February 2024 (UTC)