My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Gangsta
GTA San Andreas Pony Logo.jpg

Their logo is stupid bullshit.

What Cartoon
Genre Action
The One Who Made It Lauren Faust Satan
Starring The Mane Six
Company The Hub BMW
PG Rating 18+ (Strong nudity, violence and addictive substances (the show itself))
Length Forever
Number of episodes Infinity
Will you be called insane? Yes, if you exist.
Will you actually go insane? Also yes.
Watchers Dumbasses of ages 30-80 - 98%
Other lunatics (Including zombies, regardless of gender) - 2%

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is an American animated television series created by Lauren Faust because Hasbro ran out of ideas. It was originally targeted at dumbasses but it also in a shockingly large audience of whiny assholes with its overwhelming amount of existential insight, sex scenes, and adult themes. Fans of the show call themsleves "bronies", which is a portmanteau of ponies and Aryan Brotherhood of Texas.

Although the opening credits seem to suggest that the show revolves around the titular character of "My Little Pony," said character is never referenced in the actual episodes because the show is garbage and its animators are lazy as fuck. The show actually stars a weird, MS Paint-colored villainous idiot team of miniature horses called the "Mane Sex". This equine-related pun is one of the many which warrants the reputation bronies have for their stupid and annoying sense of humor.

Origins of My Little Pony[edit | edit source]

In gay literature in San Francisco, the unicorn was the acidhead meth dealer of the animal kingdom, mercilessly skewering through the organs of the benevolent and righteous with its atom-pointed horn. Eventually, Christian Minecraft Servers invented fashion which not only pleased women but secretly served to sabotage the entirety of the unicorn race. It came in and ruined everything with all that happiness and gay rainbow nonsense. The only purposes an unicorn's horn has nowadays is levitating randomly and shooting laser beams at the unholy swine who fail to utter "DEUS VULT!" during a crusade so that they change their ways and accept the power of the Crusades within their heart.

This new myth was crystallized by famous professional deviantArt fanfiction writer Lauren Faust working for Hasbro in the long lost era of year 2010, when she dug up the dusty archives of Youtube to find a series of half-hour commercials about a friend circle of magic cartoon ponies, pegasuses and unicorns titled "G3" which were meant to market diabetes-inducing toys to little girls. Finding the characters easy to exploit, she decided to make her own renditions of them in a style that made them look like they had souls, an accomplishment thought inconceivable until then.

Hasbro's CEO should have got word of this, but he was too busy getting drunk as hell at a shady bar to even care about this moneymaking scheme.. They decided to requisition Faust's ideas under section 27d of the SOPA act, so they could use them to fuel their marketing ploy brainwashing laser beam, unaware that they were about to unleash a powerful mind virus into the world. However, it is an open secret among the fans that Lauren Faust is the sole designer, writer, director, voice-actor and animator of the entire cartoon series, and that she funded the entire production with Paypal donations she requested in her deviantArt journal.

A 2011 study revealed that watching the show without interruption for 3 weeks or more, which had become common practice among fans by then, caused either gender to be ridden with terminal homosexuality and cancer. Quite like crack, watching the show is not considered to be worth the terrible side effects, although Bronies claim "it will make you twenty percent cooler", despite a complete and total lack of scientific evidence.

Characters[edit | edit source]

Twilight Sparkel[edit | edit source]


Element of Death: Failure

Twilight Fegelein Sparkel is an occultist demon who has a magical horn that enables her to hack reality. Twilight is named Twilight because she has a bad taste in books. She used these god-like powers to give mustaches to and torment with ugliness as many ponies as possible. She once used up the entire town's supply of milk on a bear. She loves reading her shitty book so much that it made her insane. Her insanity for books made her marry the book Twilight. She lives inside the bunker of Hitler and usually plans on world domination together with this evil politician. She lives in Canterlot and always hangs out with her books, not living species of her own. She's also really skilled at walking in circles and writing annoying letters to EVERYONE.

Applejack[edit | edit source]


Element of Death: Famine

Applejack is stupid, stubborn, and likes castrating people because she is a dumbass. She has seen many things, even your mom's anus, but she was actually hallucinating due to her cannabis crops being burned all over the place at that time by Union soldiers during the Battle of Vicksburg. She still yells "The South will rise again!" all the time, which makes her look like a big idiot and has a family that lives in a cardboard box due to Applejack sucking balls. At one point she wanted to not be stupid and moved to the city, but changed her mind and left when she learned rooster noises were not her forte. Occasionally, she travels to town to sell apples, apple fritters, apple pies that taste like shit, and broken fuck machines. She loves murder, sadism, masochism, stealing, murder, assault, rape, and shitting. Her hind legs are covered with cancer, blood, and internal organs. Her cutie mark is 9-11 and 3 apples fucking each other.

Rainbow Dash[edit | edit source]


Element of Death: Genocide

Rainbow Lesbian Dash has dumb abilities, including making gay rainbows and shit. The rainbow part has led to her being gay. She describes everything as "fucking" and "shitty" because after years of not reading, those are literally the only goddamn words she knows. She loves to kill people and enjoy their screaming, pain, and death and has often killed other characters and urinated on their corpses. Her fucking gay attitude says it all. She even hates stuff too high-quality, hates reading, existing and thinking, and usually flies around the skies, once even hitting a military jet plane and brutally murdering and disemboweling the pilot inside it whilst flying. She's an ignorant egghead who always pummels everything to dust. She would describe the Holocaust, Armenian Genocide, and other war crimes as "I lIkE Ittt!" before dashing off in a gay rainbow like an asshole.

Fluttershy[edit | edit source]


Element of death: Wrath

Flutter Lebowski Fuck Asshole Shit Bitch Shy is probably the weakest, pussyest pony in the world, Fluttershy's ways of being a pussy changed she tried but failed how to act bad and be a bully. She became assertive to everyone so much, she even did it to her own mother. Her mother lost her temper, and mutilated Fluttershy on camera. Fluttershy sleeps on a tree, which is the reason why people kept calling Fluttershy a tree. She impaled 258 ponies once, with blood and guts spilling everywhere. Fluttershy's mother was dead because she was impaled too. Fluttershy started a war for 2 days before she was impaled by a moon rock.

Rarity[edit | edit source]


Element of Death: Evil

Rarity Cornelius Le Belle is a unicorn whose purpose in life is to kill everyone. She killed billions of people, including me, your mom, people who don't wash, Russians, zombies, etc. She's totally freaked out at the sight of a non-dead person and gets pissed when someone breathes or exists, even in other galaxies. She will not stop until she kills, tortures, and amputates every living being in existence other than herself. Rarity does not take failure well, and it takes weeks upon weeks of sadism, torture, arson, theft, sex, rape, murder, cannibalism, explosions, terrorism, and genocide and the explosion of another planet to recover from her loss. She once Thanos snapped an entire galaxy and caused the collapse of civilization. On one planet, she caused nuclear war and the annihilation of all life. On another, she caused never ending volcanic eruptions until everyone was dead.

Pinkie Pie[edit | edit source]

Main article: Pinkie Pie
640px-Crazy Pinkie Pie S1E25.png

Element of death: Torture

Pinkamena Diane Pie is an earth pony who wants to cook people alive for cannibals. Her special abilities is to make us misery and destroy the world. While in prison, Pinkie Pie is constantly looking for inmates to murder, but she goes back to murdering and torturing other people once she gets bailed out.

Spike[edit | edit source]

Spike is Twilight's slave who always helps Twilight get the books for her because she's a lazy bitch. Spike's perverted, and he loves sex with minors, not giving a shit about the law (there is no law in Equestria anyway.) He lives off of a strict diet of pony and human flesh. He also burned down an entire village and ate its inhabitants alive.

Mr. Dick[edit | edit source]

Officer Dick probably exists in Equestria. His missions are killing Zombies, Apes, Greek Mythological Creatures, ponies, humans, civilians, whales, and anything that breathes or exists. Dick has the abilities to shoot ponies with a pistol, He is well known for burning ponies alive and shooting schools. Currently, all other policemen have been killed by him, so that he is the law when the prince isn't around.

Mrs. Willy[edit | edit source]

Marie Goatse Willy was the main antagonist. She kidnaps humans and ponies and cooks them as food because she's really hungry. In the first episode, Willy died because Dick shot at her. During the second episode, she was resurrected by necromancers and black metal singers. She has tatoos all over her body and even has tattoos on top of other tattoos. She will never reach puberty. Her main objective is to cut the buttocks of people while they are still alive and make them as her own. That's probably the stupidest idea ever.

My Little Pony[edit | edit source]

Clockwise (From top): Twilight, Applejack, Spike, and Rarity. During this time, they're happy to the fact that Hera just drank so much beer that she died of natural causes.

Though she is supposedly the titular character of the show, My Little Pony is never actually shown therein, except appearing in the show's title card because the animators are lazy. Instead, she is a Greek legend for some shitty reason, and many of the other ponies are frequently seen addressing her seemingly without her actually being there, except she actually is there because she can shapeshift into rocks, walls, or dead air. Despite her lack of presence in the show, Lauren Faust, the show's alleged creator, has posted two sentences on her, highlighting her as a mix of an alicorn, human, sea pony, and Dovakhiin that possesses a mystical talent that allows her to annihilate entire galaxies and instantly kill any living creature.

Supporting Characters[edit | edit source]

These characters are at most only annoying the main characters, or probably ruining their lives:

The other three[edit | edit source]

These aren't named. They're just called "The Three". At this point, the creators must be extremely lazy. When an episode isn't about the mane sex it's about these three annoying bastards who won't stay off my lawn. If they kill enough heathen ponies in the name of stupidity and masochism, they might continue existing. Despite all their violence, the ponies have yet to get any fulfillment in maiming, stabbing, or extermination. They want to kill more.

Prince Adolf[edit | edit source]

The dumb and vicious Adolf runs the monarchy in a world where the Nazis won World War 2 and created a nuclear wasteland. He quite stupidly claims to havethe power to move the sun, so it's not like anybody can protest him, or else they would melt in everlasting daylight. While he is very drunk, he has been known to act like a fucking bitch to everyone else during his yelling time of the month. Rumors have surface that he is actually a war criminal who escaped Italy during The Civil War.

Prince Fegelein[edit | edit source]

He is the prince of the SS, so nobody really cares about him. Being very dumb (like Adolf), he has been known to get knocked to high hell. during Prince Adolf's genocide time.

DARP DARP DARP[edit | edit source]

Derpy McHooves is a gray pegasus who cannot tell left from right but has evil instincts that led her to electrocute several ponies to death. She is also known for her blonde mane and her horrible eyesight. Those who anger her are brutally murdered mysteriously disappear.

The City Hall controversy[edit | edit source]

dArP MCdarP flew right into the the Ponyville city hall and destroyed it completely, The crash was an inside job by the mayor to fuel war on Everfree

Random character who isn't actually a part of the show[edit | edit source]

A random character who isn't actually a part of the show was inserted into the show as a gag once maybe.

Papa Smurf[edit | edit source]

Small angry elderly blue gremlin who lives in the woods and attacks strangers. A zebra ate him but even then he still managed to fly to England without escaping. This makes no sense because the show is garbage.

Agent 47[edit | edit source]

Forty Seven quitted his job being a toilet kisser. He found the perfect job (Assassin), but was later taken by Officer Dick. He then found a mafia of asshats who aren't capable enough to kill a rabbit, which is deemed impossible. 47 simply killed the rabbit with his bare hands. He rapes the people to death and murdered Sarah Palin, which was an erotic experience for him, which is bad for his health, but he has no health or soul. He is a mark of the beast. Sadly, the devil failed to mark 47's forehead and his hand was a prosthetic.

O.J. Simpony[edit | edit source]

Helps everypony to learn football. In season three, the ponies learn that he's a changeling, but they allow him to stay in town anyway because he's a celebrity.

Kratos[edit | edit source]

He is Fluttershy's close pal. Also, he destroys everything he touches, even your balls. Helps Fluttershy kill guests intruders and was always fed brain bits by Fluttershy. Also tried killing Fluttershy's friends.

Jesus H. Christ[edit | edit source]

The cutie mark crusaders worship this guy and get into all kind of fun and violent shenanigans in his name.

Vic Mackey[edit | edit source]

A corrupted cop, he always arrests/shoots people, including those above and below him. His signature weapon is a police pistol that shoots either water or dildos. He hates everyone, and usually works for money and anything for himself.

Minor Characters[edit | edit source]

These characters made a minor role to the series, rendering them entirely useless. Here are the characters:

  • Ditzy Doo - Always believes that left goes to the right... Literally.
  • Jizzy - A "yay pushing, ass selling, piece of ship trash". Proclaims to be a "Walking Book of Proverbs", but was killed (again) and eaten when 47 was so hungry he found a pimp riding a fancy car and ate everything.
    • Jizzy Doo - The son of Jizzy and Ditzy, he "will not avenge his father and steal continue his legacy". Often ends up in prison for no reason.
      • Scooby Doo - The dog of the son of Jizzy, he always makes Jizzy Doo escape prison (to death).
        • Scooby Dooby Rumpy Doo - The son of the dog of the son of a bitch Jizzy. Wait, what?
  • Octavia - An earth pony and the only one who can play the cello, she can even stand up like a human, often ending up on a sexy pose.
  • Lyra - A unicorn with a brain even more of a human's. She usually sits upright. Though this increases her chance of getting raped, her fats make her sight adorable (and ugly, making her look unattractive).
  • Trixie - A complete arse hole, she keeps on telling that she's better than everyone, even better than the Beatles, but in reality, Trixie is not strong, not even strong enough to win a breathing contest, as she cannot breathe.
  • DJ Pon3 - She's deadmau5 the she isnt
  • The Pope - Made Fluttershy a catholic and was seen on TV... Before the TV was destroyed by George Washington.
  • Mr. Face - The leader of the horse trafficking mafia. He did all of the Seven Deadly Sins and does not love everyone. Was killed by Rarity when Face accidentally pulled the wrong lever, and gave Rarity dual miniguns.
  • Phil Latio - Loves playing with Fluttershy. He went into Fluttershy's shed and was never seen again.
  • Colonel Mustard - A news about him killing the doctor was found to be false. It was actually Pinkie Pie who did all the killing, and Colonel Mustard was actually the witness, but another dumbass witness taught that Mustard killed Doctor Black.
  • Doctor Whoof - Mysterious Pony Time Lord of Equestria. Was killed by some imbecile all because of not delivering alien pizza for him.

Locations[edit | edit source]

The show was filmed shown in the following places:

  • Equestria - Where else would they live?
    • Ponyville - A town full of poor ponies and they have to act greedy to get money
    • Castlevania - A.K.A. Canterlot, it's where their prince(ss) trolls and sends people to the moon as punishment for breathing her air.
    • San Andreas - Only the part where Dick tries to escape and ride his Boeing 747 before Tempenny's pagan idiots try to chase him.
    • Everfree Forest - A connection between Russia, Greece, Albania and The Philippines, this is one weird shortcut, as illegal aliens always hide here to stay away from cops. Here the drug pushers and pimps move ALL ON THEIR OWN.
  • England - Papa Smurf left this town to attempt an assassination to Bob The Builder. It failed though, as he already committed suicide before being killed.
  • Vatican City - This is where the Pope made an appearance, and where he, for the first time, talked to Fluttershy to get her baptized to leave Jainism.
  • Hell - A recorded video from a computer showed Applejack what the hell looked like. She never went to sleep that night.
  • Cloudsdale - So it's the sky and there's clouds and they make rainbows there and stuff.

Episodes[edit | edit source]

There's too many episodes to list, because millions of fans made their own episodes, their types being randomand/or stupid, sexual, and violent.

Reaction[edit | edit source]

Even uncyclopedians can be bronies! (Which wasn't exactly a bright choice)

Some people praised all the action, drama, comedy, horror, romance, violence, religion, songs, kidney stones, etc. from this show. Sadly, even kids watch it, and they want to be like Rainbow Dash when they play in the street during the World War II. Many parents complained that it contains too much gore and violent depictions of rape and molestation and may scar children for life, but the crew said "Hey, we're teaching kids how to be friendly to others too. I mean like Rarity hugging Spike. Is that not friendly enough? Also, we teach them about how they should be nice to each other or else they'll be frozen alive by Windigos and have their dicks ripped off and mounted on top of the Tooth Fairy’s fireplace. How bad can it be? We teach them about Satan Jesus being the Lord and Savior that will send us to heaven if we believe, just like how people believe Saint Nicholas will send you presents at Christmas if you were good. We show elements of history in this show too, like why Hitler committed suicide or how Caligula fed his people with food and how he made them throw up to feed them again. Now isn’t that so very educational?"

The FBI ranked Lauren Faust top 3 on FBI's Top Ten Most Wanted.

Preceded by:
Succeeded by:

See Also[edit | edit source]

Cartoon Network.svg