WordGirl
“Wow this show is as poetic as I am.”
“She is a girl of words.”
“Cheese! Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!”
“I love watching this show! I love to wank…er, I mean, jerk…er, I mean… Ah, crap, never mind, Chris Hansen is here anyway.”
“ Ohh Ahhh Ahhh Ohhh Ohhhh Woaaa Ahhhhhh...'”
“Shit is not a word! It's not in the dictionary!”
“ Shit is a word! I put it in the dictionary myself! You fucking underage jailbait slut from a backwater planet! Word up, bitch! ”
“ MY DICK! I CAN'T FEEL MY DICK! CURSE YOU, WORDGIRL! ”
“ ........ ”
“ I pooped my pants! ”
WordGirl is a show but not your ordinary kids' show. It is one of the first ever shows on PBS that teaches children swearing is actually an art and should be used in proper settings like at weddings, get togethers and office meetings (not like you already want to swear to yourself when your boss said how great he is and shit)… *cough* Anyway, back to the page. The show centers around the misadventures of a 10-year-old girl and her pet monkey. They try to become top dog in their city by fighting off bad guys, but are rebuffed by the citizens because of their use of inappropriate language.
The show had a long run and was a instant hit with bad children, horny teenagers, and adults who wish to be children and/or horny teenagers. The show had a very long run and many controversies like hitting on very tough subjects like pedophilia, rape, obsession, and drug use (also, the swearing is pretty important, too). Anyhow, the show ended its long 3-year run in August of 2010. Many fans cried or swore in respect from what they had learned, but most just wouldn't give two shits. The show was also sued because the creator made WordGirl look like Dora the Explorer, whom most people wouldn't give two shits about either.
Characters[edit | edit source]
Protagonists[edit | edit source]
WordGirl/Becky Bostord[edit | edit source]
Becky Bostord, or WordGirl, is a little 10-year-old girl who acts a little too old for her age. She was born on the planet Lexicon and escaped her home planet because no one liked her way of speaking. Not to mention Lexicon doesn't have soap so there's none to wash her mouth out with it. She revealed her back-story in the episode "Wordgirl in the Belly of the Beast." She has a pet monkey who helps her spread the joy of bad language to others, especially her villains. She lives with her foster parents because she was known to be a horrible child by her constant cursing at her other previous foster parents. She was such a bad child, she would do sexual favors for all the villains on the show, even getting into a three-way with Two-Brains and Tobey. She also has a book of swears and the Kama Sutra somewhere in her super secret sex dungeon.
Captain Huggyface/Bob[edit | edit source]
Bob, or Captain Huggyface, is a monkey that was formerly owned by Michael Jackson (who was originally from Lexicon himself, but was exiled along with Madonna due to pop music being absolutely hated and banned from that planet) and had to run away due to getting raped constantly by Bubbles and become WordGirl's sidekick and pet monkey. He spends his time throwing his crap at people and ripping the villains' faces off. When not being on WordGirl's side, he smokes banana-flavored weed and constantly spanks his monkey (the original source of that saying). He also has a large appetite, eating many foods (even his own feces) and also trying to eat Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy's head in a few episodes. He is also a spaceship pilot in his home planet, Lexicon. His face also has no correlation with Monkey Jesus, he said "eep eep eep eeep eep." On translation, saying he has surpassed him. In his own episodes, he shows a love for dance to music such as Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus.
Antagonists[edit | edit source]
Many villains consist of insane and psychologically unstable people who blend into society. Which isn't entirely that difficult, since the majority of modern society is compromised of insane and psychologically unstable people.
Amazing Rope Guy[edit | edit source]
Let's face it, this guy was less than amazing. In fact, WordGirl broke his spine in half for for laughing at her small chest. He later accidentally hung himself during a sexual choking maneuver trying to initiate an orgasim due to his dick not working anymore (along with nothing else below his waist, and obviously his brain as well), while cursing WordGirl's name, and no one knew until his lifeless body started smelling up the city, which was 3 months later.
Lady Redundant Woman Woman Woman[edit | edit source]
Lady Redundant Woman Woman Woman is one of the most annoying yet educational characters on the show. Mothers everywhere not only hate her for repeating swear words at least if not more than three times so babies will add them to their vocabularies. Characters in the show get fed up with saying her name, and if one says it wrong she makes them say it right. Some characters, including Leslie in "The Episode," thought her name was something like Lady Lady Lady Redundant Woman, or Lady Redundant Redundant Redundant Woman. Most people just call her "Bitch".
Yankee Doodle Dickhead[edit | edit source]
In the episode "Let's Sing a Song from Family Guy With Our Vocabulary!" Lady Redundant Woman Woman Woman gave birth to a boy named "Yankee Doodle Dickhead". The show was sued for this episode because he reminded people of Stewie, having his exact same Turkish accent and hitting on every girl. Including WordGirl and Captain Huggyface, who both slept with him.
Dr. Two-Brains[edit | edit source]
Dr. Two-Brains is an evil mad scientist who used to be the beloved Steven Boxlitner until he fused his brain with that of a mouse he bought on EBay, thus having the brain and penis of a mouse (his sex life was also called into question). He spends his time stealing cheese, but he was also known to be a pedophile and rapist, trying several attempts to rape WordGirl and asking her to come inside his windowless armored van telling her, "I have candy for you in here." This has been a running gag throughout the show, like in the episode "WordGirl Gets a Clue" and also in "Obama Is So Much Cooler." His friendship with WordGirl when he was Steven Boxlitner was called into question when he was last seen with her in his lab with the notorious Pedobear. It is not known whether he had the chance to deflower her as Steven, but the creator has yet to tell us. His love for cheese and little girls also got the best of the evil doctor in the last episode when WordGirl wanted to lure him into a trap by putting a fake Lolicon holding cheese in a box, but when the doctor was found gnawing on both things he was sent to jail for illegal gnawing on lolicons with cheese. In jail, he started to finish his long-loved career of writing novels. Note: He was known to have a novel as Steven Boxlitner called "Loli Super Heroes and You: A Piratical Guide." It was a instant hit with pedophiles.
Two-Brains' Henchmen[edit | edit source]
Two-Brains has two henchmen that help him with his crazy plans. They are both gay and have sex on a regular bases when Two-Brains is not there or watching. They are really stupid and don't help the guy one bit. They met Two-Brains at Comic Con and have been stuck with him ever since. One is named Charlie, and he doesn't speak, because in being the bottom bitch, you'd think due to his minuscule sized dick he wouldn't be, but he is. There is another one who has some sort of hat on and he does all the speaking for Charlie. People don't know why he doesn't have a name but some viewers speculate that it is Osama bin Laden hiding out in the cast of WordGirl. It was revealed they took Two-Brains anal virginity and gave him Aids.
Tobey[edit | edit source]
Tobey is a 10-year-old boy who is obsessed over WordGirl and a boy genius who creates robots to somehow get WordGirl's attention. He has a scrapbook filled with pictures of WordGirl and what he does to it is, he goes and locks himself in his room and masturbates to the pictures while yelling out extremely profane obscenities at his mother. In one episode, he was Two-Brains' sex slave because he couldn't take WordGirl ignoring him. But Two-Brains realized he wasn't a girl and rebuffed him.
Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy[edit | edit source]
Chuck the Evil Sandwich-Making Guy is one of the more friendly villains when beating his ray in several episodes. He was most offensive in this episode "Chuck Makes a Fuck" where he was using crack and cavorting with whores in his mother's basement. It was a instant hit with bampots. He was finally killed off later when Captain Huggyface finally ate his head and he died from substantial ketchup loss (his more important head, not the one that looked like a sandwich!). In one episode, Chuck hired Dr. Two-Brains' henchman for a bank heist. During that time, he was referred to as "Chuck the Evil Salad-Tossing Guy".
He makes an appearance in the episode "Let us learn new words to praise the Great Leader in our Socialist Paradise!" where he is shown to be the American Imperialist Bastard Pig and is quickly defeated by the Self-Reliant Superior Korean Word Girl and her sidekick Unquestioning Devotion To the Great Leader Boy. In this episode, he has a sidekick named "Japan Man" who shows a lack of intelligence and a racial predisposition to be violent toward Koreans.
The Whammer[edit | edit source]
The Whammer is Chuck's sidekick and being one out of five that have super-strength. He is known as a bastard to wham, and he plays the tuba. He whams the tuba and kills it, much to WordGirl's anger. She forces him to use swear words, but he refuses.
The Butcher[edit | edit source]
A butcher, of course, who is known for beating his meat in several episodes. Not much is said about him, but he does use proper grammar, much WordGirl's disgust. She forces him to use swear words, but he refuses.
Granny May[edit | edit source]
A psychotic old lady who turned to crime after being forced to watch MTV at her retirement home, and goes around killing all them young whippersnapers, because she can't stand their My Chemical Romance and Ipods and porn.
Mr. Big[edit | edit source]
Mr. Big is a pimp who works in a self-proclaimed pimping business. He uses mind control in the city to make the people have sex with his prostitutes. He has an assistant or better known as his bottom bitch name Leslie who gives him squishy bunnies which is a code for "Whip out your tits". He loves to get money and lots of it. He also boasts about the size of his penis and he also got the nick name from all the sluts that he slept with.
Leslie[edit | edit source]
Leslie is Mr. Big's Bottom bitch and assistant and she does things for him like give him Blowjobs and constantly has to bend over the copier to appease his penis. She also is his personal potty (in which she actually enjoys) hence why she reeks of human waste.
Tiny Big[edit | edit source]
Tiny Big is Mr. Big's child and bastard son. He is called "Tiny Big" because his dick is not as big as his dad. Leslie gave birth to him in Neverland and Michael Jackson nursed him until he became strong enough to live with his parents (that's why he can dance and sing like MJ). Mr. Big exploited this skill to get money and to entice people to his whore house. But later, he suffered from an over does of keyboard cleaner and kittens. He now resides at a local home for messed up child stars.
Glen Furblam[edit | edit source]
He is a geek and totally gay for Dr. Two-Brains. But when he realized he liked lolis he tried to commit suicide. But failed and decided to star in gay porn like in the famous gay porn "Buns of Steal".
Victoria best[edit | edit source]
Victoria best is a little whore who thinks she is the best at every thing. She tries to one up Wordgirl in everything she does also when it comes to saying the best swear words. She also said she is the best at blowjobs by giving a Tobey one in the episode "I'mma suck yo' dick" over 9,000 times. But sadly she sucked him off so hard Tobeys dick fell off and became an extra in the movie Twilight. Victoria Best once entered the Dick-sucking contest and won but Oscar Wilde got mad and took the name for best dick sucker back. She attempted to suck Captain Huggyface's dick hoping it was banana flavored. But Huggy's 9 3/4 inch girth triggered her gag reflex causing her to vomit on Huggyface. She developed a severe case of simian strep afterwards.
Eileen (The Birthday Girl)[edit | edit source]
Eileen is a birthday girl who celebrates her birthday. She is a sex addict, lesbian, and a closeted hermaphrodite. She tries to one up WordGirl in everything she does also becomes big saying "Lesbian". Everyone calls her "Bitch" like Lady Redundant Woman Woman.
Minor Characters[edit | edit source]
Violet Heaslip[edit | edit source]
Violet is one of Becky's best friends and she was conceived in Woodstock because her mother was a hippie. She loves to draw and has a cat named Fluffy in which she huffs everyday (Cheesing is bad! M-Kay!) She is always complaining about a purple teddy bear chasing her but no one cares. Except for the teddy bear because he only wants to be loved.
Todd "Scoops" Yao Jackie Chan Ming[edit | edit source]
Todd is a newspaper reporter who became one because his parents forced him to at the young age of 10. He escaped Communist China for a better life and he claims to "Love you long time".
TJ Bostord[edit | edit source]
TJ Bostord is WordGirl's little brother, but he does not know that. He loves WordGirl and wants to do her, but he does not know his sister Becky Botsford is WordGirl, but he likely wouldn't care either way because he's into incest.
Sally Bostord[edit | edit source]
Sally Bostord is Becky's smokin' hot mom. She works as a city attorney but everyone does not care because of her rockin' Tits. She never has sex with her husband Tim because she is too busy cheating on him with every single guy in the city, including known actor David Hasselhoff.
Tim Bostord[edit | edit source]
Tim Bostord is Becky's dad and a total fruit. He cooks, cleans, and does women stuff because he is a closeted homosexual. His wife is hot, but he just married her so people won't figure out his gayness. He actually is in a gay affair with Mr. Ming, who is Todd's dad. There are always scenes that show him fucking his dad and it's totally weird.
Pedobear[edit | edit source]
Pedobear is a side characters that only appeared in a few episodes and raped WordGirl on several occasions. Dr. Two-Brains is not only envious, but also insanely jealous of Pedobear due to him "going where he hasn't gone before" with WordGirl. Not to mention he one-upped Two-Brains, being nothing but a horribly conceived minor character.
Steven Boxleitner[edit | edit source]
The good doctor used to be a good guy before his tragic accident. Now he is a child-hungry pedophile out to take people's cheese (not that he was already a pedo to begin with).
WordGirl (The Show and Its Controversies)[edit | edit source]
The show aired for 3 years until PBS pulled the plug on it for its suggestive material. Some parents and/or soccer moms who nobody likes sending
complaints to the broadcasters for the airing of this vulgar show, even forcing one mother to shave her head and mail the contents of her hair to them. PBS was astonished by the appeal of many parents and stopped the show completely. After rewatching some episodes, they have found over 10,000 reasons to get it off the air. For example, in the episode "WordGirl and the Holy Grail," she was publicly saying obscenities to the bad guys while Huggy was flinging his poop at the wall. But the episode that they found most offensive was "Chuck Makes a Fuck" where Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy (one of the villains) was using crack and cavorting with whores in his mother's basement, but it did not stop there; many of the broadcasters found that the episode "Band on the Run" was extremely bad to show to children showing the Beatles and Wordgirl doing acid and LSD while listening to the song "Here Comes the Sun." While more viewings of the episodes were brought to attention, a PBS broadcaster reported a inappropriate episode of Dr.Two-Brains publicly having sex with Becky to get her to say her secret identity in the episode "Dr. Two-Brains Forgets This Is Illegal". Many episodes were actually so inappropriate, only PBS broadcasters with strong stomachs just want to whack off and had to watch them, but after reviewing every episode, they finally got it off the air on August 13, 2010, yet fans do still want the show to keep running and they have started a petition to bring it back on the air; it was ignored by many, including the PBS broadcasters.
After the Show's Cancellation and the Aftermath[edit | edit source]
When the show was canceled, many of the actors were disbanded, never to talk about this horrible ordeal ever again, but Becky Botsford, who played WordGirl, still furthered her career in acting, playing in numerous movies like "Lolita Takes Up Scuba Diving" and the failed movie "Some Chicks Go to Hollywood." Tom Kenny stopped playing the doctor and decided to take up a career in cat huffing. George Clooney, who played Mr. Big, did what every handsome actor who is getting old and ugly do: star in porn.
Did you know?[edit | edit source]
- In the episode "I'd Ride That Pony," WordGirl mounts an orgy with Tobey and Two-Brains (and when they get tired they sleep on top of Huggy's face), but sadly, the episode never came to light.
- Did you know Eileen is a lesbian? If you didn't, you're really damn oblivious!
- Violet is stupid because her mom did drugs and LSD when she was pregnant with her.
- Tobey has a blow up doll of Wordgirl in his room and he has sex with it on occasion.
- Before Mr. Big had a prostitute business he worked for pennies at a whore house.
- Two-Brains was always seen humping WordGirl onscreen, but it was never censored because PBS thought it would be pretty cool for the ratings.
- Scoops is related to Yao Ming and Jackie Chan.
- Wordgirl is actually a sorry excuse for a loli show made by Americans to appeal to Otakus.
- If you see closely in the show, you can see a Grue and a guy in the background.
- Two-Brains was always a pedophile and loves being one. He was even a pedophile when he was a kid himself, masturbating to diapers and baby food commercials.
- WordGirl and Captain Huggyface actually had a sex scene that resulted from Huggy seeing WordGirl swallow a banana whole. Unfortunately, the entire scene was lost in an editing "mishap."
- Captain Huggyface actually has the largest penis of any male character in the show.
Two-Brains after he ate some cheese with some LSD.
The "WordGirl Movie" or better known as the very long episode that never came to light[edit | edit source]
Yes, there was a movie that was created before its cancellation, but it was never aired cause of its extreme content. The PBS staff's review of it was so alarming, the mere mention of its content would make the world end by imploding on itself and sending it into 2012, but luckily, sneaking fans took bootlegged footage of it and it can be seen on underground pornographic websites. Jane Lynch plays herself and tries to make WordGirl use nice words to make everyone feel fuzzy and cuddly inside, but it didn't work because WordGirl looses her shit and can't stand the use of such happy words. So in the end, she ends up swearing up such a storm, every word in the swear book was used so much that made Jane Lynch's ears melt from use. Then the movie ends with the biggest orgy Fair City had ever seen, and that includes intercourse with every villain and pedobear joining in. Oh, and a gru joined in and Oscar Wilde couldn't even resist. Thus, watching the gull orgy scene may cause the world to implode and plunge into 2012 like stated earlier.