|September 23, 1993–September 8, 1995|
~ Captain Understatement on Animaniacs
Animaniacs is a reality show cleverly disguised as a comedy in a plot by North Korea to warp kids' minds while they attack the "American piss-ants, (Secretly google's idea)" that aired on Fox for 2 seasons and then moved onto the WB, leaving Fox Kids to rot in the pits of hell for the rest of the series. The show was created by Tom Ruegger, sadly Steven Spielberg ate him and stole his fame.
Basically, this show is about these 3...things...that run around the Warner movie lot. They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught, but we...aw, shit, I broke into song.
- Yakko Warner is an attention-seeking whore and the ringleader of the terrorist plot, where he acts as a spy for the gang. He is the biggest, the oldest, the most evil, and he gets more lines. Worship him. He believes himself to be funny, but in reality, his words cause wars. Ever heard of World War 34? Also-known-as the curdled milk wars of 1987? No? That's because it was so traumatic for everyone involved that world governments swore to strip it from all public records and never speak of it again. To this day, Republicans still try to claim lactose intolerance is not real, but let us warn you, lactose is a killer of civilization and the cows will rule us all, commanded by their ruthlessly unfunny leader, Yakko Warner. He is unable to find Canada.
- Wakko Warner: Wakko is the strangest of the group. Having been a suspected spy from Queen Elizabeth the II to spy on the United States and their abhorrent soda habits, he eventually defected from the British Spy network, after he fell victim to the deliciously unhealthy eating habits and the wonderfully produced Floridian trailer park drive-thru meth. He was charged and arrested 48 times in multiple parts of the United States for public nudity and conspiring to commit public nudity. Ever since the Feebles (formally known as the beetles) campaigned being Anti-Pantsers, Wakko has feverishly defended and promoted their ideas in any way possible. Most notably by never wearing pants.
- Dot Warner: Leader of the free the titty movement, with her brother Wakko leading the "let your fruit hang low, swing it to-and-frow" movement. Inventor of the Whip and Nae Nae. She fought God and won, and that is why God is a woman. Dot is God. What a cutie. If you insult her looks, you are deemed street filth and become street filth. Given that the warners are cartoons, however, no actual person has ever become street filth other than the one and only Steven Speilberg. Only one other person has ever attempted to fight Dot after insulting her looks, and that was the 4th Warner sibling. They dropped dead upon reaching 3 centimeters from her face. R.I.P Smakky, The Street Filth Warner.
- Smakky 'The Street Filth' Warner: Deceased.
- Pinky and the Brain: Pinky was the only other British Agent to have been sent after Wakko after he defected, as Wakko's investigation was insignificant at best. He suffered immense head trauma upon arriving after being sat on by a passenger on a TWA flight. He was immediately captured by the US Government and used for lab experiments, where he learned the joys of being a housewife for his suspected lover, Brain. Pinky has shown multiple instances of inter-special relationships, having "Railed a horse". Brain is, to put it best, Elon Musk in mouse form. While he is logically smart, having all the knowledge he needs of history, science, math, and English, he has lacks one crucial thing to be a fully functioning person. Basic fucking common sense. He is the kind of person that would look at a Multi-Level Marketing business and actually anticipate that working. He refuses to taint his brain with pornographic content, rather, he skeezow boop bop bop bop bop bop the stock market and Awooga Awooga *eyes bulge out of head* *Tongue rolls out* Awooga Awooga *wolf howling* *panting* *blows train whistle* causing widespread panic amongst the denizens of Atlantic City. Both Mice's favorite place to eat is any Denny's located under a bridge. After an incident at one Dennys location in Atlantic City, the pair of Mice commented they will never order "Orange Juice and Pop Rock Pancakes" ever again.
- Chicken Boo: Got fired from his job as mascot of the "Delaware Fightin' Blue Hens" for his relationship with the football team's head cheerleader, (which only lasted 42 minutes) he found work on Animaniacs. Brought along in the shitty episodes that need a last-minute laugh.
- Dr. Scratchansniff: When the psychiatrist from Burbank, California met the Warners, he went insane and was thrown in Commander Riker's Looney Bin in Homely Hills, where he was fed nothing but carrots for 5 months. He eventually escaped and went under a false name for several years, writing and directing the movie Dirty Dancing. He has had 36 mystery wives who have all mysteriously vanished after a reported "wild night at Denny's" went horrifically wrong. The Atlantic City Police have declined comment.
- Slappy Squirrel, aka Death Lives is an old coot who used to star in Looney Tunes shorts in the 1960s. She is believed by cartoon fans to be the most infamous and obscure Looney Tune to grace the screen. Her films, which bewildered most audiences, were locked away in the studio vault never to be released. As for Slappy herself, she was locked away in the treehouse, also never to be released. She had escaped her mahogany prison in 1993, made her rounds on the Animaniacs set, and was arrested in 2003 for committing voluntary manslaughter and conspiring to commit public nudity. She was listed on Forbes top 200 hot lonely milfs in your area, as #176.
- Minerva Mink Stop yoinking yo Bratwurst ya dumb whore shes boinking ya dad