Marvin the Martian

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Not even Stalin would mess with this crazy mofo.

“It obstructs my view of Venus”

“This guy scares the hell out of me! Who in their right mind goes around blowing up entire planets!?”

~ Steve Allen on Marvin the Martian

“To go on a rampage you need signed consent from your parent or your priest”

~ Mr Ross on Marvin the Martian


~ Steve Irwin on Marvin the Martian

Red Menace or Misguided Astronomer?[edit | edit source]

Marvin during one of his hissy fits while visiting San Francisco

Determined to declare all planets in his path from here to Proxima Centauri in the name of Mars. Marvin hails from the Eccentrica District of Northeast Marzipan. overcame his handicaps to become a great warrior of the twenty-fourth and a half century. (Earth time) Ben and todd are his right right hen men.

Tactics[edit | edit source]

An avid astronomer, Marvin desires the clearest view for his telescope, eliminating star systems and planets that obstruct his view, using his weapon of choice, the Eludium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator (this Earth-shattering device resembles a large firecracker). His support troops consists of a green dog (K-9), and a bottle of 1000 Instant Martians, to which he merely has to add water.

Enemies[edit | edit source]

  • Duck Dodgers -- a member of the planetary defense council who has no need for a suit to survive in space. Dodgers and Marvin often conflict over property rights and who looks better in a dress.

It is suspected that Dodgers is actually related to Marvin, as seen when accidents knock off Dodger's beak, there is a strong family resemblance.

  • Bugs Bunny -- who was volunteered for a space exploration program in 1952. Bugs encountered Marvin during one of his quests for a unobstructed view from his telescope. The two battled fiercely, ending up infecting Earth with millions of Instant Martians, who ravaged the planet until they all died out after being exposed to sea-water, which was poison to them.
  • Invader Zim -- ruler of Earth who battled with Marvin until the Martian and Irken empires settled on allowing Mars the province of Megatexas, allowing Marvin to watch Venus. However, Marvin was allegedly "very, very angry" about the constant traveling and declared Star Wars against Zim in current years.
  • Pet Alien -- These five aliens; Dinko, Gumpers, Flip, Swanky, and Scruffy, were sent to Earth by the people of the planet Conforma as a vangard against Marvin's attempts to destroy Earth. They knew that Earth's obstruction of his view of Venus was the only thing keeping Mars from learning of their planet's existence. Upon arrival, their ship crashed in the town of DeSpray Bay, Maine where they were able to enlist the aid of a 13 year old boy called Tommy Cadle who now lives with the five aliens in a lighthouse. Due to a lack of public support, the mission was scubbed after only 13 weeks. Probably because it sucked so bad.
  • Darth Vader -- Apprentice of Darth Sideous A.K.A. Pappa Smurf, who fought Marvin in order to claim Mars so the Emperor could build a mini-mall on the planet for one stop-shopping needs. Marvin was astounded that a whiny bastard turned super evil robot could be so strong, so Marvin called in for backup. The backup consisted of Luke Skywalker, Santa Claus, Gary Sheffield, and the ghost of Bob Hope. Vader managed to kill Gary Sheffield after being verbally raped by his allegations that the MLB is keeping African-Americans out of baseball. Weakened by hearing him go on about baseball for two hours, the rest of the group force-fed him marijuana brownies until the pot flakes entered his respiratory system and made him chase after tye-dye herons. After recovering from being so doped up, Vader realized the error of his ways and murdered all life on The Halos so he could build an Orange Julius chain.
  • KKK (In a bad mood only) -- He hates when he's in a bad mood. He likes it when he's in a good mood. Nothing more, nothing less...
  • Kenny McCormick -- Mmph mmmhp mhph mm mmpmph mmphphp.
  • Samuel L. Jackson -- It's Motherfucker the Martian, Samuel Motherfucking L. Motherfucking Jackson, motherfucker!

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