My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Gangsta
GTA San Andreas Pony Logo.jpg

Their logo

What Cartoon
Educational
Religion
Genre Action
Comedy
Adventure
Violence
Bronymance
The One Who Made It Lauren Faust Satan
Starring The Mane Six
Company The Hub BMW
PG Rating 18+ (Strong nudity, violence and addictive substances (the show itself))
Length Forever
Number of episodes Infinity
Will you be called insane? Yes, if you're 18-60 years old above.
Watchers Men of ages 30-80 - 98%
Other (Including zombies, regardless of gender) - 2%

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic is an American animated television series created by Lauren Faust. It was originally targeted at adult males, but swept in a shockingly large audience of little girls, even with its overwhelming amount of existential insight and adult themes. Fans of the show call themsleves "bronies", which is a portmanteau of ponies and Aryan Brotherhood of Texas.

Although the opening credits seem to suggest that the show revolves around the titular character of "My Little Pony," said character is never referenced in the actual episodes. The show actually stars a superhero team of miniature horses called the "Mane Six". This equine-related pun is one of the many which warrants the reputation bronies have for their excellent sense of humor.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

History[edit]

In ancient mythology, the unicorn was the mighty half-deity of the animal kingdom, mercilessly skewering through the organs of the wicked and the unrighteous with its atom-pointed horn. However, soon after girls were invented, they came in and ruined everything with all their friendship and rainbow nonsense. The only purposes an unicorn's horn has nowadays is levitating objects and shooting friend beams at big meany horses so that they change their ways and accept the power of magic and friendship within their heart.

This new myth was crystallized by famous professional deviantArt fanfiction writer Lauren Faust in the long lost era of year 2010, when she dug up the dusty archives of Youtube to find a series of half-hour commercials about a friend circle of magic cartoon ponies, pegasuses and unicorns titled "G3" which were meant to market diabetes-inducing toys to little girls. Charmed by the characters, she decided to make her own renditions of them in a style that made them look like they had souls, an accomplishment thought inconceivable until then.

Hasbro got word of this and found great potential in such a step-up for their toy designs. They decided to requisition Faust's ideas under section 27d of the SOPA act, so they could use them to fuel their marketing ploy brainwashing laser beam, unaware that they were about to unleash a powerful mind virus into the world. However, it is an open secret among the fans that Lauren Faust is the sole designer, writer, director, voice-actor and animator of the entire cartoon series, and that she funded the entire production with Paypal donations she requested in her deviantArt journal.

A 2011 study revealed that watching the show without interruption for 3 weeks or more, which had become common practice among fans by then, caused either gender to be ridden with terminal homosexuality. Quite like crack, watching the show is considered to be worth the side effects, as bronies claim "it will make you twenty percent cooler."

Characters[edit]

Twilight Sparkel[edit]

Insane-bed-head-twilight-sparkle.jpg

Element of Harmony: Failure

Twilight Fegelein Sparkel is an occultist unicorn who was smart enough to actually take advantage of the fact that she has a magical horn that enables her to hack reality. Twilight is named Twilight because she has a bad taste in books. After years of study at the expense of things like, fun, play, and having a childhood, she wisely decided to use these god-like powers to give mustaches to as many ponies as possible. She once used up the entire town's supply of milk on a bear. She loves reading books so much that it made her insane. Her love for books made her marry one. She lives inside the bunker of Hitler and usually plans on world domination together with this evil politician. She lives in Canterlot and always hangs out with her books, not living species of her own. She's also really skilled at walking in circles and writing annoying letters to princesses. Her cutie mark is a star of david.

Applejack[edit]

Hankpony.png

Element of Harmony: Famine

Applejack Myers Smith & Wesson is stupid, stubborn, and likes kicking apples off of trees because she is a dumbass. She has seen many things, even your mom's anus, but she was actually hallucinating due to her cannabis crops being burned all over the place at that time. She has a family that lives in a cardboard box due to Applejack sucking balls. At one point she wanted to not be stupid and moved to the city, but changed her mind and left when she learned rooster noises were not her forte. Occasionally, she travels to town to sell apples, apple fritters, apple pies, and broken fuck machines. She loves baking, eating, shitting and harvesting apples for everypony in town. Her hind legs are named "Bucky Mc Gilbert" and "Arnold Schwarzenegger". Her cutie mark is nine eleven 47 Kamasutra 3 apples.

Rainbow Dash[edit]

RainbowDickFuck.jpg

Element of harmony: Pride

Rainbow Lesbow Dash is a pegasus pony with attitude. Her talents include making rainbows and dashing. She describes everything as "cool" and "awesome" because after years of not reading, those are literally the only words she knows. She is madly in love with Applejack. Her tomboyish attitude says it all. She even hates stuff too girly, hates reading and thinking, and usually flies around the skies, once even hitting a military jet plane and the pilot inside it whilst flying. She's an ignorant egghead who always pummels everything to dust.

Rainbow Dash's cutie mark is a cloud with a thunder colored in rainbow. She would describe this mark as "awesome", before dashing off in a rainbow.

Fluttershy[edit]

Evilfluttershy.jpeg

Element of harmony: Wrath

Flutter Lebowski Shy is probably the cutest, nicest and weakest pony in the world, though she got some strength with the help of Mr. T, which was her boyfriend throughout life. Fluttershy's ways of being a pussy changed as Mr. T taught her how to act bad, strong, Strong Bad and being a bully. She became assertive to everyone so much, she even did it to her own mother. Her mother lost her temper, and kicked Fluttershy out of her house. Now because of that, Fluttershy has to sleep on a tree, which is the reason why people kept calling Fluttershy a tree. She now takes care of animals and Kratos. Fluttershy's mother was dead because Kratos got pissed of her personality. Fluttershy got pissed and tossed Kratos away, and she became the god of War. Her cutie mark is 3 butter knives flies.

Rarity[edit]

Raritystare.jpg

Element of harmony: Envy

Rarity Cornelius Le Belle is a unicorn whose purpose in life is make dresses for everyone. She makes dresses for Lady Gaga, Sarah Palin, Jenny and millions of others including me, your mom, people who don't wash, Russians, zombies, etc. She's totally freaked out at the sight of a bug and gets pissed really easily when someone ruins her dress. Her cutie mark is 3 diamonds.

"Project Trotway" Debut

Rarity participated in season 8 of the Equestria reality show "Project Trotway", and made it as one of the finalists, along with Mondo Guerra and Gretchen Jones. She was eliminated in the second to final showing when one of her dresses had a bare midriff that the judges said was just "on the losing side of tacky." Rarity did not take the failure well, and it took weeks of icecream and dramatic moping to recover from her loss. For a while she got really fat. However, the exposure did give her business a short boost.

Pinkie Pie[edit]

640px-Crazy Pinkie Pie S1E25.png

Element of harmony: Death

Pinkamena Diane "Pinkie" Pie is an earth pony who wants to cook food and cupcakes for us. Her special abilities is to make us happy and destroy the world. While in prison, Pinkie Pie is looking for ways to reaching Ultimate Enlightenment, but failed to do so and had to skip to serial killing to do so. Go to Pinkie Pie for more information.

Spike[edit]

Spike Léon de Massage is Twilight's slave hitman assistant who always helps Twilight get the books for her because she's a lazy bitch. Spike loves Rarity because he's perverted, and inter-species sex with a minor is legal in Equestria. As a dragon, he lives off of a strict diet of jewels and booty.

Mr. Dick[edit]

Officer Dick is one of the two humans that can only exist in Equestria. He's working for Princess Celestia and his missions are killing Zombies, Apes and Greek Mythological Creatures. Dick has the abilities to shoot ponies with a pistol, which was an impossible feat for many ponies. His ass tattoo is a gun with Freddie Mercury's head on its side.

Mrs. Willy[edit]

Marie Goatse Willy was the main antagonist. She steals smurfs and cooks them as food because she's really hungry. In the first episode, Willy died because Dick shot at her. During the second episode, she was resurrected by necromancers and black metal singers. She has no booty, therefore she has no tattoo. Poor girl, she'll never reach puberty without her cutie mark. That's why her main objective is to cut the buttocks of the non blank-flank horses and make it as her own. That's probably the stupidest idea ever.

My Little Pony[edit]

Clockwise (From top): Twilight, Applejack, Spike, and Rarity. During this time, they're happy to the fact that Hera just drank so much beer that she died of natural causes.

Though she is supposedly the titular character of the show, My Little Pony is never actually shown therein past appearing in the show's title card. Instead, she is greatly alluded to, and many of the other ponies are frequently seen addressing her without her actually being there, even going so far as to talk directly to walls and dead air. There's even a scene where Pinkie Pie plays a trombone ditty for her. Despite her lack of presence in the show, The Hub, the show's host, have posted extensive character biographies of her, highlighting her as a mix of an alicorn, human, sea pony, and Dovakhiin that possesses a mystical talent that allows her to see through time. My Little Pony has gone on to garner incredible praise from the fandom, and there has been much speculation that the character will perhaps appear in a future season or other incarnation of the show.

Supporting Characters[edit]

These characters are at most only supporting the main characters, or probably ruining their lives:

The other three[edit]

Sweetie Bell, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. When an episode isn't about the mane six (mane six, LOL) it's about these three annoying pony kids who won't stay off my lawn. They call themselves the cutie mark crusaders, because somepony told them that if they kill enough heathen ponies in the name of Jesus, they'll get their cutie marks. Despite all their violence, the ponies have yet to get any cutie marks in maiming, stabbing, or religious extermination.

Princess Celestia[edit]

The wise and great Celestia runs the monarchy in a world where ponies don't know the phrase "democracy". She has the power to move the sun, so it's not like anybody can protest her, or else they would melt in everlasting daylight. While she is very knowledgeable, powerful, and mature, she has been known to knock a bitch to the moon during her time of the month.

Princess Luna[edit]

She is the princess of the night, so nobody really cares about her. Being very naive and silly, she has been known to get knocked to the moon during Princess Celestia's time of the month.

Perfectlynormal Graypony[edit]

Derpy Hooves Ditzy Doo Perfectlynormal Graypony is a gray pegasus who cannot tell left from right has pioneer instincts and accidentally electrocuted several ponies to death is able to summon thunder at will. She is also known for her blonde mane outstanding intelligence and her perfect eyesight. Anyone who suggests otherwise seems to mysteriously disappear.

The City Hall controversy[edit]

Perfectlynormal allegedly flew right into the the Ponyville city hall by accident and destroyed it completely, but this is clearly impossible as she is an amazing flyer. The crash is suspected by many to be an inside job by the mayor to fuel war on Everfree as the footage of the incident clearly shows that a cloud did it rather than a pegasus. [citation needed]

The ponies of Manehatten[edit]

The ponies in Manehatten exist solely for one reason: to show everypony how stupid the ponies in Manehatten are. Case in point: they don't even know what a rooster is.

Random character who isn't actually a part of the show[edit]

A random character who isn't actually a part of the show was inserted into the show as a gag once maybe.

Papa Smurf[edit]

Small angry elderly blue gremlin who lives in the woods and attacks strangers. It took all three of the crusaders to subdue him but even then he still managed to escape and fly to England.

Agent 47[edit]

Forty Seven quitted his job being a toilet kisser and went to Equestria to find a job. He found the perfect one (Assassin), but was later taken by Officer Dick. He then found a mafia of dragons who aren't capable enough to kill a rabbit, which is deemed impossible. 47 simply killed the rabbit with his bare hands. He's the antagonist of the show, and always struggles to rape the yellow pegasus to death and murder Sarah Palin, which will be a heroic experience for him, which is bad for his health. His cutie mark is located at the back of his head, which is a mark of the beast. Sadly, the devil failed to mark 47's forehead and his hand was a prosthetic.

O.J. Simpony[edit]

Helps everypony to learn football. In season three, the ponies learn that he's a changeling, but they allow him to stay in town anyway because he's a celebrity.

Kratos[edit]

He is Fluttershy's close pal. Also, he destroys everything he touches, even your balls. Helps Fluttershy kill guests intruders and was always fed brain bits by Fluttershy. Also tried killing Fluttershy's friends.

Jesus H. Christ[edit]

The cutie mark crusaders worship this guy and get into all kind of fun and violent shenanigans in his name.

Vic Mackey[edit]

A corrupted cop, he always arrests/shoots people, including those above and below him. His signature weapon is a police pistol that shoots either water or dildos. He hates everyone, and usually works for money and anything for himself.

Minor Characters[edit]

These characters made a minor role to the series, rendering them almost entirely useless. Here are the characters:

  • Hitler - He had sex with Twilight and had a daughter named "Furherfilly".
  • Ditzy Doo - Always believes that left goes to the right... Literally.
  • Jizzy - A "yay pushing, ass selling, piece of ship trash". Proclaims to be a "Walking Book of Proverbs", but was killed (again) and eaten when 47 was so hungry he found a pimp riding a fancy car and ate everything.
    • Jizzy Doo - The son of Jizzy and Ditzy, he "will not avenge his father and steal continue his legacy". Often ends up in prison for no reason.
      • Scooby Doo - The dog of the son of Jizzy, he always makes Jizzy Doo escape prison (to death).
        • Scooby Dooby Rumpy Doo - The son of the dog of the son of a bitch Jizzy. Wait, what?
  • Octavia - An earth pony and the only one who can play the cello, she can even stand up like a human, often ending up on a sexy pose.
  • Lyra - A unicorn with a brain even more of a human's. She usually sits upright. Though this increases her chance of getting raped, her fats make her sight adorable (and ugly, making her look unattractive).
  • Trixie - A complete arse hole, she keeps on telling that she's better than everyone, even better than the Beatles, but in reality, Trixie is not strong, not even strong enough to win a breathing contest, as she cannot breathe.
  • DJ Pon3 - She's deadmau5 the incarnation.no she isnt
  • The Pope - Made Fluttershy a catholic and was seen on TV... Before the TV was destroyed by George Washington.
  • Mr. Face - The leader of the horse trafficking mafia. He did all of the Seven Deadly Sins and does not love everyone. Was killed by Rarity when Face accidentally pulled the wrong lever, and gave Rarity dual miniguns.
  • Phil Latio - Loves playing with Fluttershy. He went into Fluttershy's shed and was never seen again.
  • Colonel Mustard - A news about him killing the doctor was found to be false. It was actually Pinkie Pie who did all the killing, and Colonel Mustard was actually the witness, but another dumbass witness taught that Mustard killed Doctor Black.
  • Doctor Whoof - Pony Time Lord of Equestria. Was killed by Hitler because of not delivering alien pizza for him.
  • Eddsworld - Was supposed to help ear rape anyone, but was instead made as a minor character because he died of Leukemia.

Locations[edit]

The show was filmed shown in the following places:

  • Equestria - Where else would they live?
    • Ponyville - A town full of poor ponies and they have to act greedy to get money
    • Castlevania - A.K.A. Canterlot, it's where their prince(ss) trolls and sends people to the moon as punishment for breathing her air.
    • San Andreas - Only the part where Dick tries to escape and ride his Boeing 747 before Tempenny's pagan idiots try to chase him.
    • Everfree Forest - A connection between Russia, Greece, Albania and The Philippines, this is one weird shortcut, as illegal aliens always hide here to stay away from cops. Here the drug pushers and pimps move ALL ON THEIR OWN.
  • Russia - This is where Rarity went to while trying to find her parents that were kidnapped by Mr. Face.
  • England - Papa Smurf left this town to attempt an assassination to Bob The Builder. It failed though, as he already committed suicide before being killed.
  • Vatican City - This is where the Pope made an appearance, and where he, for the first time, talked to Fluttershy to get her baptized to leave Jainism.
  • Hell - A recorded video from a computer showed Applejack what the hell looked like. She never went to sleep that night.
  • Cloudsdale - So it's the sky and there's clouds and they make rainbows there and stuff.

Episodes[edit]

There's too many episodes to list, because millions of fans made their own episodes, their types being random.

Reaction[edit]

Even uncyclopedians can be bronies! (Which wasn't exactly a bright choice)

Many people praised all the action, drama, comedy, horror, romance, violence, religion, songs, kidney stones, etc. from this show. Even kids watch it, and they want to be like Rainbow Dash when they play in the street during the World War II. Many parents complained that it contains too much gore and may scar children for life, but the crew said "Hey, we're teaching kids how to be friendly to others too. I mean like Rarity hugging Spike. Is that not friendly enough? Also, we teach them about how they should be nice to each other or else they'll be frozen alive by Windigos. How bad can it be? We teach them about Jesus being the Lord and Savior that will send us to heaven if we believe, just like how people believe Saint Nicholas will send you presents at Christmas if you were good. We show elements of history in this show too, like why Hitler committed suicide or how Caligula fed his people with food and how he made them throw up to feed them again. Isn't that very educational?"

The FBI ranked Lauren Faust top 3 on FBI's Top Ten Most Wanted.

Preceded by:
DeviantART
Embarrassing Teenage Fads
2010 - now
Succeeded by:
n/a

See Also[edit]

 

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media