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It all began in Brazil, where a mutant strain of Bronies (i.e., Brazilian mutant ponyphiles) infected other Brazilian people with Friendship and Magic, causing chaos everywhere. Eventually, the remnants of the last sane people remaining in Brazil were bottled up in Rio de Janeiro. However, in 2010 Rio was finally infected with Friendship via a tactical ballistic missile. The former dictatorship of Brazil was violently overthrown and became the Brony Principality of Equestria. Ever since, Bronies became more and more obsessed with My Little Pony, making them vandalize innocent people's houses with nude pony images and post terrible MLP pictures on DeviantArt.
Soon, Venezuela was infected with Magic after the Bronies became extremely infectious. Venezuela made a heroic resistance, but it ultimately fell to the invaders.
The Four (4) Aspects of Equestria
- ESP: The Equestrian Secret Police makes sure everybody glorifies the regime.
- EAF: The Equestian Armed Forces protect the government from rebels and invaders trying to liberate Equestria.
- EBP: The Equestrian Brony Party is the one (and only) officially-sanctioned political party of Equestria, controlled by the Princess herself.
- Princess Celestia: Sophia Charbonneau was the first Brony to be infected in Brazil. She was so obsessed with MLP that she took the name one of the characters.
Citizens of Equestria
Equestria is filled with dumb Bronies who infect anyone they can see. If a Brony sends you a video, DO NOT OPEN IT! It is 100% going to be a pony video that will infect you with Friendship and Magic. When you confront a Brony, try to show the Brony how obnoxious he is. If you find a Brony on your website or thread, ban him before he infects others with Friendship or turns someone into a grue. Evacuate any areas where Bronies may infect people.
Bronies used to speak a dialect of English called Bronyspeak. However, Bronies became stupider and stupider until they created the Equestrian Language. Equestrian script is pretty much a jumble of letters and symbols that no one can understand except other, except for equally dumb and stupid Bronies. Here are some examples:
English to Equestrian
- Equestria - ҴѸݧֿי๏๛ฬ (pronounced Ichudakio)
- Conquer - ฑไดॏःमৰতὠΣς (pronounced Hojakiwanu)
- Animal - ΔὬǾṶẈṏʶˤɤˢ′ॕक़ (pronounced Juyakov)
- Life - ௵௸௧ڥф (pronounced Culiamuni)
- Color - ҁѦڵݟٜٞڪ۔۰ฬ٠١ ٭ἱ (pronounced Fonagado tyl)
- Leader - ὢӜۼ۰۔ٛ۹וত௶అॏ॑भફว (pronounced Kinamukwad)
When Equestrians were infected with Friendship and Magic, their bodies and minds changed to fit the Brony mindset. Their bones became weak and developed holes, while muscles became weak, eventually deteriorating. Bronies have purple slimy brains that are full of tumors and obsolete memes which renders them incapable of independent thought. Bronies act like obnoxious 12 year old boys who whine at supermarkets, and bronies often spew hate at anyone who says anything even remotely negative to My Little Pony. There are no known ways to stop the butthurt inflicted by Bronies. Bronies are well known for smashing keyboards, yelling at people for no reason, and being absolute idiots.
Brony Conventions are big sacks of garbage that smell like rotten cancer cells and spoiled cucumbers. If you mistakenly end up in a Brony Convention, be aware that there are three major groups that want to subvert you outright:
- Ponifiers: These people are trained to infect people at all costs.
- Cosplayers: They dress up in lackluster pony suits made out of moldy green beans and dirty cotton.
- Grues:: Brony Conventions contain at least one grue.