Equestria

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Equestria (full title: The Independent Brony Principality of Equestria) is a terrible military dictatorship in South America, well known for killing whoever gets to close to it and burning down the Amazon Rainforest. It consists of the former independent territories of Brazil, Venezuela, and Colombia, which they dropped a nuclear bomb on. This nation is by far one of the most dangerous places in the whole world, for the Bronies who inhabit Equestria will instant kill, murder, and slaughter anyone who is not a Brony or says anything bad about "ponies". Very few are brave enough to secretly explore this desolate, dystopian nation where millions were murdered for not becoming evil Bronies.

The horrible Equestrian national flag. It is very attractive to Grues. As a result, many people have died just looking at this flag in Grue-infested places.
Bronies murdering thousands of Brazilian people in the Massacre of São Paulo.
A rare image of the Equestrian Princess.
The imperial emblem of the Equestrian Princess. It is the most dangerous coat of arms in the world.
The Equestrian Secret Police Flag. This opens a portal to hell which will release an army of Grues controlled by Satan himself.
The Equestrian Armed Forces Flag. This flag is known to kill all non-Bronies within a five mile radius due to its extreme cringe.

It all began in Brazil, where a mutant strain of Bronies (i.e., Brazilian mutant ponyphiles) infected other Brazilian people with Friendship and Magic, causing chaos everywhere. Eventually, the remnants of the last sane people remaining in Brazil were bottled up in Rio de Janeiro. However, in 2010 Rio was finally infected with Friendship via a tactical ballistic missile. The former government of Brazil was violently overthrown and became the Brony Principality of Equestria. Ever since, Bronies became more and more obsessed with My Little Pony, making them vandalize innocent people's houses with nude pony images and post terrible MLP pictures on DeviantArt.

Soon, Venezuela was infected with Magic after the Bronies became extremely infectious and sent pony propaganda and outdated memes that no one wants. Venezuela made a heroic resistance, but it ultimately fell to the violent, mentally unsound invaders.

The Four (4) Aspects of Equestria[edit]

  1. ESP: The Equestrian Secret Police makes sure everybody glorifies the regime. Any and all political dissidents are locked up in torture facilities or killed.
  2. EAF: The Equestian Armed Forces protect the government from rebels and invaders trying to liberate Equestria.
  3. EBP: The Equestrian Brony Party is the one (and only) officially-sanctioned political party of Equestria, controlled by the Princess herself.
  4. Princess Celestia: Sophia Charbonneau was the first Brony to be infected in Brazil. She was so obsessed with MLP that she took the name of one of the characters and is now the absolute ruler.

Citizens of Equestria[edit]

A rare image smuggled out of Equestria.
A ceremonial Equestrian flag. It curses all Anti Bronies with horrifying cringe.

If you thought the Equestrian government was bad, you'll be appalled at the behavior of its citizens. Bronies are horrendous, despicable, destructive, murderous, flesh-eating, zombie-like creatures. Their mission is to turn everyone Brony or kill them!!!! Whatever you do, don't even try to befriend a Brony. He will either force you and everyone around you to become a Brony, kill you and drink your blood, or turn you into a Grue.

A grue created by evil Bronies. RUN!!!!
The emblem of the Equestrian Brony Party.
An Equestrian torture room.
The Equestrian Princess's royal banner.
Yes, Equestria has nuclear bombs. This is a missile test they did a while back.

Equestria is filled with dumb Bronies who infect anyone they can see. If a Brony sends you a video, DO NOT OPEN IT! It is 100% going to be a pony video that will infect you with Friendship and Magic. When you confront a Brony, try to show the Brony how obnoxious he is. If you find a Brony on your website or thread, ban him before he infects others with Friendship or turns someone into a grue. Evacuate any areas where Bronies may infect people. Bronies have also been known to devastate entire provinces or states within nations.

Equestrian linguistics[edit]

Bronies used to speak a dialect of English called Bronyspeak. However, Bronies became stupider and stupider until they created the Equestrian Language. Equestrian script is pretty much a jumble of letters and symbols that no one can understand, except for equally dumb and stupid Bronies. Here are some examples:

English to Equestrian[edit]

  • Equestria - ҴѸݧֿי๏๛ฬ (pronounced Ichudakio)
  • Conquer - ฑไดॏःमৰতὠΣς (pronounced Hojakiwanu)
  • Animal - ΔὬǾṶẈṏʶˤɤˢ′ॕक़ (pronounced Juyakov)
  • Life - ௵௸௧ڥф (pronounced Culiamuni)
  • Color - ҁѦڵݟٜٞڪ۔۰ฬ٠١ ‌٭ἱ (pronounced Fonagado tyl)
  • Leader - ὢӜۼ۰۔ٛ۹וত௶అॏ॑भફว (pronounced Kinamukwad)

Equestrian biology[edit]

When Equestrians were infected with Friendship and Magic, their bodies and minds totally transformed into a degraded state to fit the stupid, crappy, ridiculous, hateful Brony mindset. Their arms became deformed and their bones became weak and developed holes, while muscles became unusable, eventually deteriorating. Bronies have purple, rotten, extremely toxic, gooey, squishy, moldy, decomposed, slimy brains that are full of tumors, extreme hate towards non-Bronies, and very obsolete memes which render them incapable of independent thought. Bronies act like obnoxious 12 year old boys who whine at supermarkets, and bronies often spew hate at anyone who says anything even remotely negative to My Little Pony. There are no known ways to stop the butthurt inflicted by Bronies. Bronies are well known for smashing keyboards, yelling at people for no reason, and being absolute idiots.

Equestrian politics[edit]

An average Brony Convention. Conventions like these contain lots of perverted things, Bronies who want to kill you, and many, many deadly Grues. Run away if you see a Grue!

Brony Conventions are big sacks of garbage that smell like rotten cancer cells and spoiled cucumbers. They also emit chemicals and toxic fumes. If you mistakenly end up in a Brony Convention, be aware that there are three major groups that want to subvert you outright:

  1. Ponifiers: These people are trained to infect people at all costs.
  2. Cosplayers: They dress up in lackluster pony suits made out of moldy green beans and dirty cotton.
  3. Grues:: Brony Conventions contain at least one grue. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE IF YOU SEE A GRUE!

You should check these out[edit]

If you want to know about where Bronies come from, Check this and this. If you want to know about other things check this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this and this. Also, STAY AWAY FROM BRONIES!