The Loud House
~ David Byrne on what him and the Talking Heads did to the Loud House
The Loud House, also known as The Loud Family is an 11 child family from Royal Woods, Michigan. These criminal kids star on the newest Nickelodeon educational Reality TV show of the same name. The Loud House consists of 10 girls and 1 boy, Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn Jr., Lincoln (the only boy in the family), Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and the baby, Lily. Lincoln is the host of the show.
The family is both a literal and metaphorical nuclear family, as they rival other families in chaos. Like most Simpsons clones, the parents are idiots, and the family hates each other, but they somehow love each other too. They're just a large family. All of the Loud kids are also widely regarded to be very cruel. This was created by Chris Savino, the man who ruined Dexter's Laboratory and Powerpuff Girls.
Ironically, despite this being a common criticism of most modern cartoons in general, the family is widely loved by fans of the classic Nicktoons, such as Ren and Stimpy, Rugrats, Invader Zim, and the early SpongeBob, and was thought to be the show that will save Nickelodeon from atrocities like FanBoy & Chum Chum, Breadwinners, and so on, even though the latter two did much of the same thing. However, the Loud Family and their show have come under fire by fans of the older Nicktoons who realize that it isn't all it's cracked up to be. It has also come under fire by fans of Drawn Together and Total Drama, who claim that The Loud House, being an animated reality show, plagiarizes the two.
- Lincoln Loud: The host and main villain of the show, Linkin Loud is the 11-year old middle child of the family, and he looks like a rabbit, which is why he is the greatest evil in the universe and is a serious pandemic threat to man. Lincoln frequently talks to the audience like in preschoolers' shows, telling them about how life in a nuclear-nuke family. Lincoln is very frequently sought for assistance by his sisters, and he's supposed to tolerate them, but when he exploits them, it's a henious act of sexism. Ain't that the most wonderful way of life? Lincoln also, like Timmy Turner, Rudy Tabootie, and Todd from Wayside School, continues the Nickelodeon tradition of giving boys buckteeth, because rabbit/rodent/squirrel teeth look awesome.
- Lori: The bossy oldest sibling and dedicated fascist leader, who literally wants to say "Literally" all the time.
- Leni: The sweet but retarded fashionista.
- Luna: A well-known rock n' roll singer-songwriter. She is known for referencing rock songs all the time in her normal dialogue. She's also a massive lesbo and the only reason this show hasn't been cancelled yet because it would be homophobic to cancel it otherwise.
- Luan: Widely regarded to be the most hilarious and not-at-all-annoying comedian in America, making clever puns all the time.
- Lynn Jr.: A psychotic tomboy who's obsessed with sports of all kinds and is known to get in to fights all the time.
- Lucy: A goth who listens to Evanscence and Pancake! at the Disco all the time, and reads Twilight.
- Lola and Lana: Two obnoxious clichéd twin siblings who fight a lot. Lola is a spoiled princess wannabe, and Lana is a muddy tomboy who worships garbage as if it were a lord.
- Lisa: The female reincarnation of Dexter, and the only nihilist in a clearly Catholic family. Despite being four years old, she somehow not only has passed kindergarten, but has become a college professor as well. She's an average fighter, but a brilliant scientist!
- Lily: The baby of the family.
The parents, Rita Loud and Lynn Loud Sr., despite living in a stress-inducingly large family, avoid being the typical sitcom parents, but they still both have some idiocy in them.
The Quiet Characters
- Clyde: Lincoln's best friend, and also notable for being the first child born to gay parents. His dads, Howard McBride and Harold McBride, were at first, thought to be a man and a woman, the latter of whom would become transgender, however, it was revealed that Harold, in fact, gave birth to Clyde as a man.
- Bobby Santiago: Lori's hispanic hippie-stoner boyfriend. It is unclear as to why he is Lori's, and not Luna's boyfriend.
- Ronnie Ann Santiago: Bobby's younger sister and Lincoln's girlfriend. Ronnie Ann tried to make Lincoln fall in love with her the same way all tomboyish lovers do—-by bullying him! Of course, it was him claiming he hated her that actually got him to be her boyfriend.
Each episode shows a typical day of life in a massive atomic family. From covering for his sisters to experience things every kid protagonist in a slice-of-life show experiences, Lincoln ultimately makes it through. Despite sometimes screwing him over, Linc's sisters are protective of him, as shown in the controversies below.
Its comic-strip-y or "Comics-trippy" inspired art style juxtaposed with family-friendly kid-com humor that doesn't glorify teenage high school sex life had made it give Nicktoon fans groundbreaking stories, mainly because it stands out quite a bit visually from stuff like Ren & Stimpy, SpongeBob, The FairlyOddParents, and Rugrats, looking a bit like Garfield, Peanuts or Calvin and Hobbes. Otherwise, the stories are schlock you've seen before, unless, or rather, even if, and especially if you're a dirty Otaku. Too bad it's idea of edgy is gay representation and toilet humor, and the show NEVER gets as surreal or gross as Pearls Before Swine. To make matters worse, they don't even directly name-drop the geeky stuff Lincoln enjoys like FoxTrot does.  Such tactless hacks!
Lynn Sr. and Rita's faces were initially obscured. However, their faces were revealed in "12 Louds a Leapin'", in which Lincoln, his sisters, his parents, Clyde, and Clyde's dads tried to convince The Grinch to not steal Christmas by singing a cute Christmas carol. Mr. Grinch, naturally, compared this to Barney, and said that he hated Christians for this alone. It would be years until he would be convinced to not rob a holiday that was supposed to be dedicated to a divine, pacifistic human, but instead, ended up glorifying an overweight Karl Marx who started invading people's homes after finally realizing that Communism should be modified to punish bad people.
Due to its negative reception, feminist groups have accused it of misogyny, claiming that it is unrealistic for Lincoln to be portrayed as a nice boy, and argue that Lincoln's sister's having to forgive Lincoln for his sometimes selfish misdoings promotes abuse. Feminists have frequently gathered at the house itself to start protests demanding that Lincoln be castrated. His sisters notably defended him by beating up these feminists. Clearly these feminists don't understand that it's a reality show, and that Lincoln, is in fact, a real boy.
Various angry fundamentalist Christian moms have also villainized the show, and accused it of glorifiying incest harems and underage sex. This provoked an infuriated reaction from Lincoln's sisters. They also accused it of being a threat to marriage, due to the presence of gay parents on the show, and have called it "Anti-Christian". Lincoln, his sisters, his parents, and Clyde have stated that they are all (with the exception of Lisa) Christians, but they just don't believe in mistreating gays. The size of the Loud family also indicates that they're Catholic to some degree. When Bob Dylan, one of Luna's rock music idols, and a Christian since the late '70s, heard about this, he asked Luna and her band to be on his next tour. He stated that he wanted to share his faith with the Loud family.
The show and their stars were also outlawed in Kenya and Russia because of the presence of gay characters, which is ironic, since the former is where Obama was born, and the latter is in the Soviet Union; both are very Communist. Since Kenya is also the birthplace of renowned atheist Richard Dawkins, Lisa's dream to visit his birthplace has been stamped out.
Speaking of Luna Loud, she has also come under fire. Due to her name, and the perception that rock music is the work of Satan, it was widely believed that Luna was in fact, a reincarnation of the ever feared Luna Park face demon from Sydney, Australia. However, no one in the house has reported being curse in any way. One infamous episode, titled "No Such Luck", however, showed that the family saw Lincoln as bad luck. After the episode aired, many fans started making claims that Lincoln was brutally injured or killed as a result, and Lynn Sr. and Rita were arrested for child abuse, but his family revealed that this was actually a collective prank planned by Luan, and that they hired stealth bodyguards to make sure no such thing happened. They also apologized for making it seem like they actually kicked Lincoln out.
It's a very well-known fact that 98% of Loud House fans suffer from Asparagus syndrome, due to the broccoli joke Lucy cracks in "A Tale of Two Tables".
In addition to the above mentioned conspiracy controversies, the New Wave and art rock music group Talking Heads also criticized them. David Byrne in particular saw the show as "too cute". "It's saccharine Slice-of-Life shows like this, ChalkZone, Hey Arnold, that one show that ripped off ChalkZone..." said Byrne, "...and all the other cutesy kid shows that make Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon such crappy channels!" This rather unusual given that, like Devo, The B-52's, They Might Be Giants, and Madness, Talking Heads were an early Geek rock band, and thus, should, realistically speaking, love cartoons. The Talking Heads notably started a campaign to destroy the success of The Loud House, entitled, Operation: Burnin' Down the House, in which they bombed the family's house, destroying all of the Louds' most valuable possesions. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
The Loud parents later tried to sue the Talking Heads for damage, but then Tina Weymouth scapegoated David Byrne, and only he was forced to pay money. Luan would later make a pun about this, saying "David Burn should think twice before Byrning Down a House!"
- Considering that Jason Fox, the main protagonist of that comic strip, is a militant misogynist, let's hope he never discovers the Loud House, or they're all dead.
- The song doesn't even mention the Louds! Oop—I said too much, I said too much I SAID TOO MUCH!!! Now you know how much this article really isn't about The Loud House and that the real Talking Heads DIDN'T commit that kind of crime, and how Wikipedia really are the ones with the true knowlegde... no wait, they're still not.