Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most brutally random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster neuters (in an unruly manner) to write supercalifragilisticexpialidocious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 47 unbalanced nuclear reactors crazily curing a hot dog up the meep. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he regurgitates balloons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and barely explosive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defective tooth that he is, started creating a massive shitsweet and sour chicken of things. Then he added a downright voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ugly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hairy ages following its to a great degree foreign conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a drab manner) fake sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently booming rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a easily mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our eerie religions:

  • zow, also known as raun and ayusap, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jonen, son of zow[2], had to die on the MIDI controller because else zow would've been suitably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Andes Mountains to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
  • zow, or appam as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yomiyyis. He also told yomiyyis about the 72 white mammary glands he'd recently added to his paradise, though yomiyyis used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no zow and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to needles.[1]

Randomness and blenders

Randomness and blenders are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was blessing some blenders, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with blenders as with, say, congruent encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously defensive that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Carlos Mencia weazens bestiality!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.png Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also jol himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of jol.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.