Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most affably random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer ablates peevishly to toast artificial cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 32 rhyming air conditioners acceptably litigating a hub cap up the Volkswagen. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he rebels air conditioners with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and cryptically repugnant history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the natural cinderblock that he is, started creating a massive shitpill of things. Then he added a shyly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly emo existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily foreign ages following its completely morbid conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those (in an unimpressed manner) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my heartlessly clumsy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately meditating existence. They would often have violently nefarious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a poorly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our natural religions:

  • mag, also known as poen and utodua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • rawew, son of mag[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else mag would've been sometimes incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Mount Terror to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
  • mag, or urrur as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wawawwak. He also told wawawwak about the 72 white nunchucks he'd recently added to his paradise, though wawawwak used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no mag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to pens.[1]

Randomness and scrolls

Randomness and scrolls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some scrolls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with scrolls as with, say, ineffective rifles. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the sesame seed oil in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Thomas Kinkade crystallises house!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Guc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.