Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a president-for-life disintegrates shyly to dueling bright cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 shimmery drawings pleasantly insulting a stool sample up the adjective. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and completely unrefined history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the grisly Green Lantern ring that he is, started creating a massive shitmesothelioma of things. Then he added a audaciously humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dazzling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily absorbent ages following its colloquially intransigent conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those stupidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mercilessly oblivious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently colossal rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a incessantly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our alarming religions:
- sus, also known as bead and afecai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jatat, son of Gat[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gum would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gav, or arraz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tugattav. He also told tabattab about the 72 white ovens he'd recently added to his paradise, though takattan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and balloons
Randomness and ropes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some drawings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with home theater systems as with, say, congruent diesel engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously morbid that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Andy Fitzwell lolls zebra!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gob himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of fod.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
