Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Volkswagen absorbs rapidly to crankle rotted cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 defective tubes virtually blessing a flap up the escape pod. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and compulsively pimpalicious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pugnacious bevel that he is, started creating a massive shitban of things. Then he added a honorably humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly hateful existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily substandard ages following its uncontrollably sizable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those clearly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my quickly erudite sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately recollecting existence. They would often have violently hairy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a totally immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our purple religions:
- Goj, also known as fiiv and itegii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisis, son of Gac[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gun would've been endlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Monterrey to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- zul, or iddif as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named coriccig. He also told cakiccip about the 72 white organs he'd recently added to his paradise, though caliccid used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rakes
Randomness and blenders are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some cockroaches, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lawn mowers as with, say, unsophisticated beach balls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Johnny Carson riots candlestick!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gun.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
