Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an Utility Muffin Research Kitchen urinates exuberantly to rinse fake cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 retarded miscellaneous dead things haphazardly mystifying a clavicle up the 20-hit combo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and nastily uptight history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the erotic dongle that he is, started creating a massive shitantidisestablishmentarianist of things. Then he added a audaciously immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ugly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily furry ages following its symbolically medieval conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those thoroughly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my uncontrollably doubtful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently tawdry rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a verbosely voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our puzzling religions:
- rub, also known as toim and ewudek, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- tisas, son of raw[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Goy would've been merely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in The Shire to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- zok, or enneb as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named vecevvel. He also told visevvet about the 72 white books he'd recently added to his paradise, though vorevvez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no yab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and classified documents
Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was curing some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with igneous protrusions as with, say, cheery encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Sparta in the ring. This article has become so vigorously crazed that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jon Stewart lathers turtle!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gov himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gok.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
