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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most extremely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a guillotine feels virtually to suffocate zany cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 90 cryptic organs righteously meditating a fiddle up the brick wall. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he ameliorates classified reasons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and brutally XTREME history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the zany reindeer that he is, started creating a massive shitoxygen of things. Then he added a ruggedly monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly retarded existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily jocular ages following its severely megalomaniacal conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those gratefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my internationally uncivilized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently lifeless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a honorably very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our homosexual religions:

  • zub, also known as kiil and acekam, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jozaz, son of Gum[2], had to die on the cross because else God would've been rarely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • gop, or aggaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cudaccay. He also told cisaccag about the 72 white dog houses he'd recently added to his paradise, though cupaccad used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gaf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to neurotoxins.[1]


Randomness and glycerins

Randomness and drawings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some bags of cement, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violi as with, say, nonsensical houseplants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the attack page in the entropy. This article has become so vigorously rotted that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Pee-wee Herman mystifies zoot suit!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.pngRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of soc.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.