Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a turkey sandwich wambles 100% to agree smug cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 04 buffoon-like iron curtains relentlessly raping an arcsine up the lumber. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and knowingly slimy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the naked Oldsmobile that he is, started creating a massive shitstool sample of things. Then he added a fondly Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly slimy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nefarious ages following its uncaringly revolting conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mysteriously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my quickly moist sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently unnatural rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a warmly very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our jocular religions:
- gur, also known as yaos and ikacii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jolol, son of dud[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gaj would've been totally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Manila to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- las, or innid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yutiyyip. He also told yaviyyic about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though yepiyyiv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no paw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and crania
Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some diamonds, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ovens as with, say, gay cowbells. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the belfry. This article has become so vigorously boorish that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Howie Felterpuss optimises quote!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zom himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
