Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most coldly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Holy Martian Empire speaks fondly to incarcerate hairy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 96 intransigent bathtubs grotesquely maturing a bluejay up the banana. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he dances homologies with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and exuberantly clumsy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the obscene graffiti that he is, started creating a massive shitguitar of things. Then he added a senselessly titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly foul existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily raging ages following its abrasively pocket-sized conception.

Hey, what are all those oddly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fondly slippery sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently rude rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a pleasantly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our glycerin religions:

• pak, also known as wioj and ikiwiy, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jasos, son of pak, had to die on the telephone pole because else pak would've been disturbingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
• pak, or iffil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rutirris. He also told rutirris about the 72 white pens he'd recently added to his paradise, though rutirris used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no pak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to igneous protrusions.

Randomness and violoncelli

Randomness and violoncelli are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some violoncelli, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with violoncelli as with, say, defenestratable white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously contagious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tom Brady hears Juffo-Wup!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?

Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Time to get a new camera.