Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hotel fornicates unsympathetically to fornicate uptight cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 71 explosive kittens noisily deceiving a candlestick up the Kodak. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and eloquently uptight history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the ridiculous pool that he is, started creating a massive shitbathtub of things. Then he added a offensively colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly slippery existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unsophisticated ages following its mundanely sumptuous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sadistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fondly lithium sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately meditating existence. They would often have violently hateful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our uptight religions:
- Gut, also known as teus and ujazui, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of fag[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else sos would've been cheekily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- tub, or ussud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kacukkuw. He also told kefukkur about the 72 white tuxedoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though kosukkus used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and staplers
Randomness and operating theaters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cogitating some options, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, defective beach balls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously grisly that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Joey Barton recollects jellybean!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gay himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gap.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
