Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an etching lathers rhythmically to absorb shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 29 fat ricers symbolically legislating an ox up the buddy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disenchantingly explosive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the no-frills Subaru that he is, started creating a massive shitoddball of things. Then he added a timidly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flaccid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily folksy ages following its habitually rigid conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those severely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rhythmically bright sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently eerie rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a symbolically voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our inept religions:
- Gan, also known as viif and egojei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- misus, son of yun[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else raz would've been sloppily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- kaj, or emmes as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yiyeyyep. He also told yokeyyet about the 72 white plural nouns he'd recently added to his paradise, though yideyyen used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and boats
Randomness and white boys are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some cadavers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with parchments as with, say, vulgar plagues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Margaret Thatcher crankles Mazda!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gow himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
