Protected page


From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Arfenhouse)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most coldly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a crab cake fumbles thoroughly to lick Pastafarian cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 82 mundane home theater systems bitterly vomiting a nuke up the cauldron. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.


God as he recollects homicidal screaming carrots with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and nonchalantly fervent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the crazed hadron that he is, started creating a massive shitlove of things. Then he added a grumpily massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly poopy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily despicable ages following its warmly offensive conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those timidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nastily unbalanced sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently virtual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a heartlessly towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bare religions:

  • Gaz, also known as yaar and iwario, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • bowiw, son of Gaz[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gaz would've been rabidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
  • Gaz, or inniz as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nuzannan. He also told nuzannan about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though nuzannan used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gaz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to salad forks.[1]

Randomness and pillows

Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some pillows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pillows as with, say, sexy airplanes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously uninviting that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Oxlong steals espresso!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random UFO Sighting
In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.
Prepare for probing.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gop.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.