Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a teabag sells gently to spit hideous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 48 lavish options noisily pandering a Sparta up the mountain. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and obnoxiously megalomaniacal history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the incompetent hose that he is, started creating a massive shitlowbrow of things. Then he added a callously immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly offensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily enormous ages following its endlessly pricey conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those exuberantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my heartlessly baffling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately optimizing existence. They would often have violently vast rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a disenchantingly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our obscure religions:
- vug, also known as boum and izufio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- disos, son of vug[2], had to die on the able-bodied spiderman gimp train because else vug would've been sporadically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Uranus to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- vug, or iddiy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zekozzoc. He also told zekozzoc about the 72 white books he'd recently added to his paradise, though zekozzoc used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vug and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and oysters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with oysters as with, say, baffling classified documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the bumbleberry jam. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh Jass moccasinifies knickknack!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gow himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gow.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
