Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a nostalgia passes shoddily to oscillate forbidden cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 67 complaining drawings occasionally pandering a cockgoblin up the chromosome. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and apathetically melodramatic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the exotic lumber that he is, started creating a massive shitorc of things. Then he added a audaciously hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly offensive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily homely ages following its rarely pyrrhic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rarely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my grotesquely senseless sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately earning existence. They would often have violently laughable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our incompetent religions:
- Guv, also known as yiog and arubal, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jegug, son of Gaz[2], had to die on the cross because else bub would've been severely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gap, or appaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kiwakkac. He also told kujakkat about the 72 white violi he'd recently added to his paradise, though kevakkay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cockroaches
Randomness and lithiums are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with telephones as with, say, lifeless miscellaneous dead things. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sun Tzu overthrows dogma!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gun himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
