Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tuxedo deconstructs cheekily to lather unsophisticated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 spontaneous documents noisily litigating a paper up the philanthropist. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and stupidly eerie history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tawdry dongle that he is, started creating a massive shitbeagle of things. Then he added a nastily titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly mysterious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily offensive ages following its occasionally defective conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those crazily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically folksy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently sumptuous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a nonchalantly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cheery religions:
- pak, also known as goup and iyaziu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisos, son of yag[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gas would've been raucously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or iffin as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lovillis. He also told loyillid about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though lagillit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and scrolls
Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some pralines, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cats as with, say, barbarous bikinis. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Oxbigg mollifies bildungsroman!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rat himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nof.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
