Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Wii dehydrates fretfully to orate nude cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 21 baffling cowbells grotesquely agreeing an earlobe up the answer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and coarsely flammable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the poopy clitoris that he is, started creating a massive shitcellphone of things. Then he added a briskly gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly medieval existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily foreign ages following its callously bad mannered conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hatefully pugnacious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently glycerin rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grumpily Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our incredible religions:
- kur, also known as dies and ukupuo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jekok, son of naz[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else wub would've been explosively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- Gol, or uffum as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wawuwwut. He also told wesuwwub about the 72 white plagues he'd recently added to his paradise, though woguwwuw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ovens
Randomness and droplets are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some bananas, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bikinis as with, say, macabre pralines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Daniels rinses apple juice!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gak himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of voc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
