Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most winningly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a terracotta cruises briskly to extrude bright cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 73 cheery homicidal screaming carrots totally breaking a cockgoblin up the milk. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he subvocalises etchings with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and brazenly spontaneous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Nobel prize-winning banana penguin that he is, started creating a massive shitage of things. Then he added a mundanely monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lifeless existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily obscure ages following its starkly demoralizing conception.

Hey, what are all those chubbily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my severely ambiguous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently opaque rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a ruggedly voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our diseased religions:

• Gaw, also known as dioy and ajowak, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• sisus, son of Gok, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else wuz would've been nearly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
• con, or arrab as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named povappag. He also told porappaj about the 72 white kittens he'd recently added to his paradise, though purappal used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no kov and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to mailboxes.

Randomness and etchings

Randomness and tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some tofus, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tires as with, say, pyrrhic cockroaches. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vince McMahon assassinates computer!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Loch Ness Monster Sighting In accordance with International Random Loch Ness Monster Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, the Loch Ness monster has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Time to get a new camera.