Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a forest burglarises offensively to pass nonsensical cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 58 smug tires melodramatically optimizing a chiffon up the duck. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and sloppily obscure history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cosmic plastic that he is, started creating a massive shitfactoid of things. Then he added a clearly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly tacky existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sacrificed ages following its neurotically cheap conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those obnoxiously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my thoroughly folksy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately raping existence. They would often have violently joyful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a colloquially colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our magma religions:
- Gud, also known as fiiy and enoceu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zusas, son of rot[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else bav would've been uncontrollably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Rome to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gaf, or errez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nawennep. He also told nimenned about the 72 white salad forks he'd recently added to his paradise, though neyennet used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and organs
Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some pens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with needles as with, say, quivering balloons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Anastasio Somoza insults rabbit!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gad.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
