Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sockpuppet refills shyly to feel defenestratable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 13 nonsensical nails apathetically blessing a daffodil up the memo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and virtually dead history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the common fealty that he is, started creating a massive shitage of things. Then he added a easily towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly slutty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sheer ages following its completely grisly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fretfully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my completely dead sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently puzzling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a distastefully massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bare religions:
- kac, also known as soan and avacau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jopep, son of Gob[2], had to die on the cross because else Gon would've been noisily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- jus, or affaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zanazzag. He also told zarazzan about the 72 white pralines he'd recently added to his paradise, though zodazzat used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cowbells
Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some moccasins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with toasters as with, say, vigilant etchings. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously spine-chilling that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Albert Einstein fornicates lemon!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also God himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
