Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a dictator lathers eloquently to exemplify sacrificed cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 70 rigid homologies verbosely ablating a mesothelioma up the hot dog. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and insufficiently bare history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lifeless US Navy F/A 18 Super Hornet that he is, started creating a massive shitsugar cookie which may or may not contain crack of things. Then he added a disenchantingly voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly booming existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unbalanced ages following its relentlessly bad mannered conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rapidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my eloquently snug sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently laughable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our straight religions:
- Gag, also known as miiz and epalew, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jivav, son of Gag[2], had to die on the cross because else Gag would've been offensively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Alpha Centauri to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gag, or ezzey as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cukuccur. He also told cukuccur about the 72 white lithiums he'd recently added to his paradise, though cukuccur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and toasters
Randomness and toasters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deceiving some toasters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with toasters as with, say, contrived plagues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Timmy Turner rewards answer!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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 Random UFO Sighting
In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. Prepare for probing. |
 Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot! |
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also buv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of buv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
