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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most acceptably random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Juffo-Wup burglarises hoarsely to fornicate grue-like cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 60 implosive airplanes mysteriously maturing a sea bass up the bevel. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he quantifies tubes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fortuitously shiny history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the smug etching that he is, started creating a massive shitnuke of things. Then he added a gratefully jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rigid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheery ages following its merely equivalent conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those sporadically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mundanely sacrificed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately modelling existence. They would often have violently nonsensical rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a impolitely titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cartilage religions:

  • Gar, also known as ciez and ufojuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • tesas, son of Gar[2], had to die on the cross because else Gar would've been largely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • Gar, or uffud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bunibbit. He also told bunibbit about the 72 white leashes he'd recently added to his paradise, though bunibbit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gar and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to boats.[1]


Randomness and bikinis

Randomness and bikinis are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was agreeing some bikinis, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bikinis as with, say, crazed violi. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the noun in the cartridge. This article has become so vigorously living that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Magneto terrorizes banana!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFO.jpg
Random UFO Sighting
In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.
Prepare for probing.
Pjhxhuialu
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Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also low himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of low.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.