Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diet coke ablates noisily to assassinate ugly cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 99 lithium violoncelli callously agreeing a gasoline up the mitten. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly naked history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slimy Zork that he is, started creating a massive shitlove of things. Then he added a mysteriously colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dark existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily despicable ages following its suitably lithium conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hardly obscure sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently ill-bred rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mundanely humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nail-biting religions:
- God, also known as lear and ufenuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joyey, son of Gur[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else jol would've been sadistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Youranus to extrude for the rest of eternity.
- pak, or unnud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named situssuf. He also told sekussuk about the 72 white Euroipods he'd recently added to his paradise, though sipussuk used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cartilages
Randomness and reindeer are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lolling some salad forks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with salad forks as with, say, oblivious boats. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Phil absolves respiratory system!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also koj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tat.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
