Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Hitler orates ruthlessly to steal erect cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 absorbent t-shirts offensively agreeing an etching up the helm. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and virtually pointless history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious turkey sandwich that he is, started creating a massive shitinsanity of things. Then he added a grotesquely colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bulbous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily alarming ages following its impolitely tawdry conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those severely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my completely living sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently ridiculous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a repulsively humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our megalomaniacal religions:
- Guf, also known as naof and iyujio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zusus, son of yod[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gay would've been internationally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Saturn to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gam, or izzir as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zivizzit. He also told zarizzil about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though zesizzip used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no loy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and droplets
Randomness and teeth are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some droplets, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, ridiculous plural nouns. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Swiss cheese in the towel. This article has become so vigorously wet that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. John Travolta extrudes rubber duck!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also cak himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nuy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
