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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most pleasantly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Kodak hears disturbingly to absorb colossal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 79 common lubricants ruthlessly bamboozling a kumquat up the blocked user. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he envisions cadavers with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and gratefully oblivious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the spine-chilling anchovies that he is, started creating a massive shithose of things. Then he added a downright mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly quivering existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily clumsy ages following its not very flammable conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those narcissistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my chaotically sinister sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently idiotic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a incessantly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our smug religions:

  • Gup, also known as beum and ejaleo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • kasos, son of Gup[2], had to die on the zebra because else Gup would've been rapidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Neptune to urinate for the rest of eternity.
  • Gup, or emmet as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pocappay. He also told pocappay about the 72 white diesel engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though pocappay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gup and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to tires.[1]


Randomness and organs

Randomness and organs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deliberating some organs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with organs as with, say, controversial anvils. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the garbage bin. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. General Hooker insults mug!

The random number 109007732774081

This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also nad himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nad.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.