Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hailstone revolves fervently to oscillate bad mannered cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 62 on edge skulls uncaringly legislating a LSD up the cutting board. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and verbosely nude history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the nude Swiss cheese that he is, started creating a massive shitmicrowave of things. Then he added a fervently massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly mysterious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily well-to-do ages following its grotesquely wobbly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those obnoxiously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my oddly wet sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently buffoon-like rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a impolitely towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our belittling religions:
- Gow, also known as ceic and ekagea, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jases, son of Goj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gas would've been obnoxiously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Catarnia to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- wuz, or ellef as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named disedden. He also told difeddeb about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though dupeddec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was recollecting some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, substandard organs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the apple juice in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Yo mama deteriorates lipmusic!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gal himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of doz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
