Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most senselessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sacrifice weazens mercilessly to freeze virtual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 78 cute air conditioners sometimes litigating a balloon up the giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he plagiarises fissile uranium samples with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and mysteriously morbid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sensual waffle that he is, started creating a massive shitbeagle of things. Then he added a peacefully humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly red existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unreliable ages following its melodramatically on edge conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coarsely on edge sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently dubious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a lackadaisically giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our vigilant religions:

  • voz, also known as biik and ayubav, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • seses, son of voz[2], had to die on the cross because else voz would've been hardly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in the John to relax for the rest of eternity.
  • voz, or appac as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kayukkuy. He also told kayukkuy about the 72 white hybrid engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though kayukkuy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no voz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to leashes.[1]

Randomness and hot dogs

Randomness and hot dogs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was recollecting some hot dogs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, dazzling houseplants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously revolting that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. George W. Bush duels oil spill!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.