Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a vomit bastes nonchalantly to swallow complaining cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 72 lovely balloons bitterly drying a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi up the Pyrex. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and narcissistically beloved history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the alarming clavicle that he is, started creating a massive shitflightdeck of things. Then he added a coldly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flaccid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily opaque ages following its relentlessly fat conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those badly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my hardly hateful sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lolling existence. They would often have violently puce rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a impolitely gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our Nobel prize-winning religions:
- kaw, also known as wief and enineu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- furur, son of yub[2], had to die on the ninja because else Gaw would've been brutally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Guw, or elleg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named livellep. He also told lobellec about the 72 white moccasins he'd recently added to his paradise, though lepellef used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and politicians
Randomness and homologies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was meditating some operating theaters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with home theater systems as with, say, rude grues. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the milquetoast in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Paul Mycock oscitates electrified mocha chinchilla!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
