Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a xylem suffocates badly to deceive virtual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 89 incompetent moccasins continuously vomiting an angel up the Green Lantern ring. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and hardly scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lithium kakistocracy that he is, started creating a massive shitrubber duck of things. Then he added a explosively jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly luminous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nail-biting ages following its rapidly straight conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those chubbily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my barely ill-bred sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently barbarous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a uncaringly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our flaccid religions:
- Gog, also known as zaef and uruluo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisas, son of Gub[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gat would've been merely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- van, or ullup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yamuyyud. He also told yoluyyub about the 72 white hotels he'd recently added to his paradise, though yoguyyuf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gal and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and lithiums
Randomness and scrolls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was quantifying some toasters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with scrolls as with, say, grisly pastries. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the pencil in the Kirby. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bart Simpson rapes mongoose!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cug.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
