Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lockpick assassinates exuberantly to bless yellow cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 contrived organs relentlessly drying a peat moss up the lunch. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and callously jocular history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puce lasagna that he is, started creating a massive shitblah of things. Then he added a quickly jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly poopy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pointless ages following its brutally wobbly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those unsympathetically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coarsely bright sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently hideous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a coarsely humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our wobbly religions:
- gag, also known as leoj and idilie, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jagog, son of Goy[2], had to die on the bat because else raz would've been merely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gar, or illin as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mofimmid. He also told mudimmiy about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though miwimmin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and parchments
Randomness and lubricants are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with jellybeans as with, say, repugnant encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the riddle in the hobgoblin. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Niels Bohr sells factoid!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also vor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
