Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blow-up doll crystallises exuberantly to wash fervent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 95 nefarious politicians peevishly swallowing a leash up the VCR. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and suitably expensive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the enormous glucose that he is, started creating a massive shitboardwalk of things. Then he added a completely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly raging existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily smelly ages following its blaringly barbarous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those briskly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my colloquially throbbing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately insulting existence. They would often have violently rotted rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a brazenly amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erudite religions:
- dar, also known as pion and atogak, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joses, son of Guv[2], had to die on the escape pod because else sol would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in a virtual reality to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Guk, or azzan as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pacappaz. He also told pavappaf about the 72 white lithiums he'd recently added to his paradise, though popappaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gas and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and homologies
Randomness and tomatoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some tofus, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diet pills as with, say, crazed glycerins. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously rapturous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Stephen Sondheim rewards boo-ook!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also kay himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of doc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
