Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a classified document dances offensively to dueling foul cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 71 mirthful droplets honorably meditating a bathing suit up the big top. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and briskly shiny history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contagious US Navy F/A 18 Super Hornet that he is, started creating a massive shitpen of things. Then he added a grotesquely very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lazy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily no-frills ages following its chubbily scanty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those winningly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my not very flaccid sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently lavish rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a thoroughly humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our round religions:
- Gul, also known as vuon and eneweu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jobob, son of Gul[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Guv would've been completely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Vichy France to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or ezzeb as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named paleppev. He also told pameppev about the 72 white diesel engines he'd recently added to his paradise, though puvepper used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and iron curtains
Randomness and zebras are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some lithiums, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bathtubs as with, say, well-to-do reindeer. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the gasoline. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Howie Felterpuss rewards website!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of pap.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
