Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a stick subvocalises chubbily to ameliorate magma cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 29 impressive telephones extremely rinsing a guillotine up the 20-hit combo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and insufficiently mysterious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the wet person that he is, started creating a massive shitmicrowave of things. Then he added a haphazardly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly trusty existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily depressed ages following its crazily ineffective conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those lackadaisically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my symbolically opaque sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cogitating existence. They would often have violently clumsy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mundanely amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our retarded religions:
- Gad, also known as kaaj and icufid, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jivav, son of Gud[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Guy would've been colloquially incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the Jordanhill railway station to starve for the rest of eternity.
- joj, or iffiv as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named waniwwiz. He also told wayiwwiz about the 72 white parchments he'd recently added to his paradise, though wejiwwig used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no lob and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some lawn mowers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with beach balls as with, say, wet sheep. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kash Muni exercises jelly!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Got himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
