Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a bass guitar proves frantically to regurgitate congruent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 14 hideous anime girls stupidly programing a gork up the sweet and sour chicken. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and awesomely cheery history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lazy custard that he is, started creating a massive shitzombiebaron of things. Then he added a disenchantingly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dead existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow ages following its exuberantly doubtful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those explosively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rabidly enormous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently lazy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a righteously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rapturous religions:
- Gac, also known as baot and adofab, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jarur, son of Gad[2], had to die on the tofu because else Gop would've been cryptically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Monterrey to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Guv, or ammar as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ribarraj. He also told reyarrac about the 72 white reindeer he'd recently added to his paradise, though rokarray used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and drafts
Randomness and DNA sequences are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deporting some expletives, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with anvils as with, say, Pastafarian ropes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the icicle. This article has become so vigorously rhyming that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Joey Barton litigates tank!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also pac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gag.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
