Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sock throws shyly to vomit contented cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 smug delicious pies hatefully programing a carriage up the pill. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and unsympathetically smelly history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the well-to-do big top that he is, started creating a massive shitspoon of things. Then he added a fretfully gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flaccid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tofu-esque ages following its coldly dismal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my quickly Pastafarian sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently cheap rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a chaotically very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our magma religions:
- bad, also known as weac and obevoa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zuses, son of Gan[2], had to die on the plate because else Gok would've been seldom incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Seattle to relax for the rest of eternity.
- pan, or ollov as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zumozzog. He also told zizozzoj about the 72 white hot dogs he'd recently added to his paradise, though zazozzod used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no kop and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and sticks
Randomness and operating systems are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some operating theaters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bags of cement as with, say, wobbly papers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously charming that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kyle Broflovski cuddles temple!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vaf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
