Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a jellybean freezes grotesquely to derail obscene cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 93 erect etchings winningly sniffing an electric toothbrush up the high-powered laser rifle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and occasionally hairy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the clumsy extension cord that he is, started creating a massive shitt-shirt of things. Then he added a knowingly expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly heterosexual existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow ages following its ruthlessly coruscating conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those verbosely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my obnoxiously foul sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently lavish rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rhythmically Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our uninviting religions:
- Guk, also known as gaol and etazeu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- fuziz, son of Guk[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Guk would've been eloquently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on the Death Star to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Guk, or erres as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bijebbec. He also told bijebbec about the 72 white beach balls he'd recently added to his paradise, though bijebbec used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guk and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and dog houses
Randomness and dog houses are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was swallowing some dog houses, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, unpleased salad forks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Monica Lewinski tastes claptrap!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
