Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a sockpuppeteer plagiarises habitually to disintegrate trusty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 31 loyal homotopies boorishly sacrificing a rape up the dyslexia. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly bare history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the joyful ampere that he is, started creating a massive shitax murderer of things. Then he added a oddly humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dismal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pocket-sized ages following its affably foreign conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hatefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly egregious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deliberating existence. They would often have violently massive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a easily towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our erotic religions:
- foj, also known as saol and uyibui, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisis, son of foj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else foj would've been raucously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Hogwarts to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- foj, or unnut as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ficoffop. He also told ficoffop about the 72 white sheep he'd recently added to his paradise, though ficoffop used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no foj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and oysters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with oysters as with, say, defensive jellybeans. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the journalist in the idiot. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Litoris passes stampede!
The random number 109007732774081
This number is really random. There's no useful information stored in it. But now I define it to mean "content-free". You can try to convert it into hexadecimal, but there will still be no information at all. It's just random. However, if you somehow manage to get anything meaningful and full of content with it, then you are probably stupid.
See also
- Random-access memory[3]
- Random gibberish
- User:Pugsleyfan69420/The Jong Invades Notepad
- Random humor[4]
- Random Uncyclopedia article[5]
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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 Random Elvis Sighting
In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. The King has left the building. |
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gan himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
