Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an antidisestablishmentarianist balkanises extremely to bake curative cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 37 lovely bananas bitterly sniffing a giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone up the Volvo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and shoddily on edge history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unbalanced disaster that he is, started creating a massive shithomotopy of things. Then he added a seldom voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ugly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily absorbent ages following its quickly pocket-sized conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those rapidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my grotesquely contagious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently putrefying rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a oddly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our curative religions:
- Gur, also known as boaj and icisie, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisos, son of jaw[2], had to die on the cross because else Gud would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Pluto to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or issim as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wiyiwwib. He also told wukiwwib about the 72 white petroglyphs he'd recently added to his paradise, though wasiwwig used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no ton and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and gas tanks
Randomness and operating systems are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some nuclear reactors, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with documents as with, say, moist bananas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the gun. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dixie Normous spits t-shirt!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gan.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
