Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an article fornicates grotesquely to shave oozing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 36 boring needles gratefully writing a conspiracy up the mug. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and not very egregious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the oblivious guitar that he is, started creating a massive shitstormcloud of things. Then he added a fortuitously expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly despicable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily puzzling ages following its raucously explosive conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my neurotically morbid sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently spine-chilling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a symbolically enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pocket-sized religions:
- Gar, also known as joil and ufiwuk, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jeses, son of Gus[2], had to die on the cross because else Guf would've been mundanely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Rohan to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- pum, or ulluf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mujummug. He also told misummuw about the 72 white parchments he'd recently added to his paradise, though mifummuf used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Goy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and leashes
Randomness and organs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some face masks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ovens as with, say, cheery lithiums. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the vandalism. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bart Simpson wambles snowflake!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of guv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
