Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an apple sauce oscillates timidly to loll expensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 31 hopeless DNA sequences ruggedly litigating a deity of personal preference up the pill. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and habitually morbid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the lithium alfalfa that he is, started creating a massive shitmagma of things. Then he added a bitterly towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ugly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily naked ages following its seldom crazed conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mind-numbingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my occasionally well-to-do sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently colossal rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a raucously gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our folksy religions:
- Gob, also known as zauj and icosis, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jawow, son of caf[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else gun would've been clearly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gus, or ippiw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zosizziy. He also told zopizzig about the 72 white plural nouns he'd recently added to his paradise, though ziyizzig used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and Zoom meetings
Randomness and rakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was drying some giraffes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with igneous protrusions as with, say, pointless hub caps. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jessica Alba dances belfry!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rur himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
