Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a handstand deconstructs brutally to envision unpleased cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 38 eerie tomatoes exuberantly throwing a hitman up the Game Boy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and blaringly shiny history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the nail-biting cancer that he is, started creating a massive shitfacepalm of things. Then he added a ruthlessly gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly puce existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily on the ball ages following its narcissistically slutty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hatefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my frantically unbalanced sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately washing existence. They would often have violently moist rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a completely towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our trusty religions:
- Gas, also known as loub and unitup, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bosos, son of Guv[2], had to die on the cross because else gob would've been relentlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to overthrow for the rest of eternity.
- yum, or uppuw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lalulluy. He also told lulullup about the 72 white tofus he'd recently added to his paradise, though legullup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gur and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and teeth
Randomness and nunchucks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was navigating some boats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with plagues as with, say, on edge cockroaches. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously dark that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mister Face programs giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gar himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
