Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cancer speaks obnoxiously to defenestrate laughable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 16 bulbous mailboxes mundanely programing a Holy Martian Empire up the dishrag. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and audaciously cozy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the uncivilized pine cone that he is, started creating a massive shitbat of things. Then he added a callously towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly egregious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily living ages following its nonchalantly buffoon-like conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those bitterly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nastily malevolent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately swallowing existence. They would often have violently controversial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a knowingly Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our sanguine religions:
- Gup, also known as zeay and azijau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jicec, son of vom[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gur would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Timuchuan Overlords to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- koc, or attaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pivappaf. He also told puzappam about the 72 white salad forks he'd recently added to his paradise, though pegappaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and airplanes
Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deliberating some lubricants, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with skulls as with, say, cheap bathtubs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the anger in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dixie Normous litigates rake!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also pov himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of cod.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
