Eric Cartman
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Eric Theodore Cartman is a South Park character, and a fat-ass psychopath. That's really it.
How fat is he?[edit | edit source]
He is a big fat-ass, almost 100 pounds. However, he refuses to accept that fact, claiming he's simply big-boned. However, everyone knows that's not true, except for his mom, and here is evidence:
- In "Weight Gain 4000" he ate beefcake to get less fat (confirming that he is fat), but actually got even fatter.
- In "Spontaneous Combustion", he got crucified and survived up there for three weeks and got skinnier, proving he is FAT.
How evil is he?[edit | edit source]
Very. That's all. What, you thought it was a long, detailed, complicated section. Well you're dead fucking wrong. Not every single section has to be, I dunno, like, um... 10 words. Some sections are only one word. One one one one one! Not two. Not forty-three chars. ONE! So stop bitching about it and fucking move on.
What evil things has he done?[edit | edit source]
- Kill Scott Tenorman's parents and grind them up into chili.
- Act retarded just for money.
- Kill all hippies.
- Recreate the Holocaust.
- Dressed up as Hitler for the school Halloween party
- Made a whole theme park for only himself
- Locked an innocent kid in a bunker just so he could go to his favorite restaurant
The worst thing he's done?[edit | edit source]
Eat off the skin of every piece of chicken and make poor Kenny cry. Now listen, you do NOT make Kenny cry.