Nobody

Nobody is there.

“Nobody's perfect.”

~ Nobody

Born as No one, Nobody has been shrouded in mystery, to the extent that his parentage, and even the date of his birth, are completely unknown. His talents are endless and he possesses the largest ego in the known universe. The reason for the obscurity of his continued existence is believed to be linked to the fact that he made himself nameless.

Nobody, being enigmatic and tricky has no known proof of current existence, much like god and love. Also, despite having no known gender, it has been proven that in all likelihood Nobody loves you.

Some rather uppity, disenchanted women have complained that Nobody is a man. However, Nobody is perfect, and cares about everything and anything in the world, which suggests otherwise.

Early years

Nobody's insignia, which he proudly wears every day. It has been suggested that it is phallic in nature, however if your penis looks like this, then you should be concerned.

The sound of one hand clapping was the first in a series of discoveries he made. He went on to discover the whole truth, the philosophers stone, the meaning of life, the secret of happiness, the location of Atlantis, the Fountain of Youth and the secret of success.

Nobody was around to hear a tree falling in a forest, but Nobody thought to ask if it made a sound.

Franz Kafka wrote about nobodies. This is not remarkable, however, as Kafka wrote about all sorts of stuff that Nobody really liked.

His unusual exploits drew the attention of the Illuminati, whom he as yet keeps eluding. They almost got him when they sent the Spanish Inquisition after him, but to their dismay he expected them and escaped in time.

Facts

• NOBODY has nothing.
• NOBODY can lift himself.
• NOBODY is an island.
• NOBODY can hear you scream.
• NOBODY likes you.
• NOBODY understands women.
• NOBODY cares.
• NOBODY likes Mondays.
• NOBODY will live forever.
• NOBODY loves you.

Nobody voted for Nobody.

Politics

Nobody once ran for President, and although he didn't get in, he is still remembered as the best candidate yet.

• NOBODY is an honest politician.
• NOBODY deserves your vote.
• NOBODY will do the right thing.
• NOBODY will do what is best.
• NOBODY believes in right and wrong.
• NOBODY will do what you want!

Nobody took him seriously, which ensured nobody voted.

Meh, nobody cares about this article.

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