From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Ctrl (pronounced /kə.tɑr.(ə)l/) is a long-form of Control. This letter can be found in almost all keyboards. All other letters of the alphabet can be mixed with Ctrl to do something. Well, except F11 and ?.

As the name suggests, the Ctrl button can grant you control on everything, including termination of other people's lives, cloning your brother's iPod for yourself, equipping your house with nuclear missiles, etc. However, no one really knows how this button works and how to use it.

For example, in MS-DOS, pressing Ctrl with C will cause a massacre, while in Windows such a key combination will only duplicate your homework.

press Ctrl + Alt + Shift + G and become gassy


Partial list of Ctrl combinations discovered by Al Gore as of 1921.
Ctrl + A Drop either 100 apples, 100 windows, or 100 penguins on yourself.
Ctrl + B Strengthen the gravity between stars and planets.
Ctrl + C Part/unpart the selected body of water.
Ctrl + D Get drunk.
Ctrl + E Opens the whole personal profile database in CIA.
Ctrl + F Starts a fire.
Ctrl + G Take control of all goats in the world.
Ctrl + H Send yourself to hell.
Ctrl + I Push down a building.
Ctrl + J Summon a medieval jester.
Ctrl + K Creates a wormhole.
Ctrl + L Introduce misplaced apostrophe's to a famous book.
Ctrl + M Cause a blue screen of death, regardless of operating system.
Ctrl + N Remove everything in the world by introducing a big bang.
И + Ctrl Reverse of Ctrl + N. In rare situation it can clear everything you've done before.
Ctrl + Ñ Puts you in a coma, and when you wake up you can only speak Spanish for the rest of your life.
Ctrl + O Sends all text typed to Oprah, who will provide sound advice on the subject in an email disguised as spam.
Ctrl + P Enhances urination abilities.
Ctrl + Q Shrink anything in sight.
Ctrl + R Reverse effects of any other combo.
Ctrl + S Shrink anything and make it float.
Ctrl + T Get yourself a cup of tea.
Ctrl + U Makes your grandpa drink urine.
Ctrl + V Stamp an object picked up by Ctrl + X.
Ctrl + W Burn an object picked up with Ctrl + X.
Ctrl + X Pick up an object.
Ctrl + Y Turn someone into a newt (They'll get better, though).
Ctrl + Z Force someone to go to sleep.
Ctrl + Esc Escape any sticky situation.
Ctrl + Spacebar Deliver a round of drinks to a group of astronauts.
Ctrl + F1 Fire one missile
Ctrl + F2 Fire two missiles
Ctrl + F3 Fire three missiles
Ctrl + F4 Shut down your boss's Ctrl button.
Ctrl + F5 Shut down your neighbor's Ctrl button.
Ctrl + F6 Shut down your grandpa's Ctrl button.
Ctrl + F7 Shut down your mother's Ctrl button.
Ctrl + F8 Alter fate.
Ctrl + F9 Summon the ghost of Oscar Wilde.
Ctrl + F10 Divide by zeroY32%$@@@@@@@[Division by Zero occurred in #FFFFFFFF. Please reboot server to continue]
Ctrl + F11 Like Goggles, Do nothing.
Ctrl + F12 Send yourself to the sun.
Ctrl + F25 Distort reality beyond human comprehension. Applies to this universe and every universe beyond this one.
Ctrl + Tab Automatically tabs out the song you are listening to.
Ctrl + Shift Shift gears.
Ctrl + Enter Toggles roadsigns between (Enter / Do Not Enter).
Ctrl-Shift + Enter Makes you enter the computer. Not recommended.
Ctrl + ~ Attack people with squiggly things.
Ctrl + 1 Summon one cow.
Ctrl + 2 Summon two cows.
Ctrl + 3 Summon three cows.
Ctrl + 3.14 Summon your grandmother to make a pie.
Ctrl + 4 Summon four cows.
Ctrl + 5 Summon five cows.
Ctrl + 6 Summon six cows.
Ctrl + 7 Summon seven cows.
Ctrl + 8 Summon a goat.
Ctrl + 9 Pave a road.
Ctrl + 0 Relinquishes control.
Ctrl + - Delete a person from existence. No one in particular, just know someone has been deleted.
Warning: There is a chance that the person deleted could be you.
Ctrl + = Make 2 + 2 = 5.
Ctrl + Backspace Redo the last three seconds.
Ctrl + { Summon a left-winger.
Ctrl + } Summon a right-winger.
Ctrl + : Prevent colon cancer.
Ctrl + ; Sorta prevent colon cancer.
Ctrl + ' Abbreviates selected object.
Ctrl + | Stop drug use once and for all.
Ctrl + , Slow down time.
Ctrl + . Stop time. (kids only)
Ctrl + ? Unknown, pressing this combination is not recommended.
Ctrl + Windows Take control of Bill Gates and his money.
Ctrl + Option Create a clone of Steve Jobs to be used as a butler.
Ctrl + Pinkie Pie + Corpse Throw an undead cemetery party.
Ctrl + Pinkie Pie + Terrorists Throw a terrorist beach bikini party.
Ctrl + Ctrl Control anything and everything.
Ctrl + / Digest food (Even if you're a skeleton)
Ctrl + Alt Allow someone else to control things with you after pressing Ctrl + Ctrl.
Ctrl + Alt Graph Just like as above, but you can make a graph to see if it would be better to allow someone else to control thing or better if you do.
Ctrl + Home Build a nice little villa in the alps.
Ctrl + End Cause the world to become utter chaos.
Ctrl + SysRq *Printing Started*
Ctrl + Pg Up Enable pigs to fly.
Ctrl + Pg Down Make pigs unable to fly.
Ctrl + Del Start delicate cycle, used for cleaning those unmentionables.
Ctrl + Ins Cause instability in all missing matter.
Ctrl + Simultaneously complete the jobs of Ctrl-R,T,L, and C.
Ctrl + Kick South Africa in the balls.
Ctrl + Send yourself to the moon.
Ctrl-Shift + Send Alice to the moon.
Ctrl + Bring yourself back from the moon. If you press it twice, it turns the picture on the monitor upside-down.
Ctrl + Makes a random right-handed person left-handed.
Ctrl + Makes a random left-handed person right-handed.
Ctrl + Shift + M Casts Ultimate Destruction Magic
Ctrl + Stop Make the control to stop (only on Sun computer)
Ctrl + Paste Pastes your fingers to the computer so you can't type any more (only on Sun computer. On moon computer, it does the opposite?)
CTRL-ALT-DEL It is advisable to know this shortcut as you will need to use it every minute you are using the computer, such as now. (Truly, the "oh crap" combination is only needed by Windows users. Macintosh and Linux users don't need to take reference.)
Ctrl-Alt-Shift-Any Reboot the entirety of the spacetime continuum, in a randomly selected configuration. Allow 6-8 billion weeks for delivery.
Ctrl + NmLk No more numbers, which means NO MORE MATHS!
Ctrl + ScrLk Cracks codes for wheel-styled combination padlocks commonly used on suitcases or planetary air-shields.
Ctrl - Ctrl Algebraicly zero, therefore does nothing.
Ctrl + Holy fuckshit! Makes you the ruler of the universe, but nobody on Earth will obey you.
Ctrl + Any Do anything as long as you aren't holding down Alt and Shift along with these two keys.
Ctrl + + Adds a person to existence. WARNING: It could be someone you'll hate!
Ctrl + Left Click Selects a person/object that you want to be selected.
Ctrl + Left Click + Hold Drag a person anywhere, with no limits. You can even throw them into the trash and delete them.
Ctrl + Right Click A list of commands you can perform on a selected person. Depending on your OS, the options that are listed may vary.
The Command Key


  • If you are using a Macintosh please be aware that due to several previous lawsuits, the Ctrl key on your keyboard has been demoted to making silly squiggly symbols. To remedy this, use the Bigger and More Powerful Command Key. This will do all this AND MORE.