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From today's featured article
The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. The first Drunk Olympics took place in Utah in 2005. It was during the Drunk Olympics that the popular recreational sport Cup Stacking was born. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that I'm coming to get you? (Pictured)
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation?
- ... that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
In the news
- Northeast getting another blizzard
- Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies
- Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit (Pictured)
- Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President
- Hurricanes in the South Atlantic this season are common
- Long Island, for once, is warm
- LGBTQ activists celebrate President Joe Biden
- Longyearbyen bathing in sun for first time in 4 months
- GOP Senators, thinking they convicted him, accidentally acquit Trump
- Pacific typhoon names retired.
- Local shark tragically killed in human attack
- UnNews accidentally prints Lorem Ipsum in its article
- LGBTQ activists celebrate President Joe Biden
- Phil Spector: An UnNews Musical Tribute
- A look back at Bernie Sanders' presidency so far
- Trump gets uncredited from everything
- UnNews editorial about the January 6th attack
- 2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year
- Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud
- Jesus is given a one-year ban
- TV series Glee responsible for all the problems of 2020
- Girl bleeding everywhere gets white water all over her slide
- The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World got updated by COVID-19
- Thanksgiving is cancelled (again)
- Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT!
- Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news"
- Dewey defeats Kanye
- Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved
- Anti-maskers ignore Halloween
- Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock
- This week's horoscopes!
- UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen
- Mr. Krabs's tax returns released
- Trump has the hoax virus
- CDC recommends eating boogers
- Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list
- Joe Biden to remake The Mask
- Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary
- Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows
- Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns
- Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian
- Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words
- Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19
- Trump attacks derpy pony
- US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA
- Q announces peace between Q's and Q
- Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate
- Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate
- UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone
- Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife"
- The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face
- Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season
- The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy
- TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late
- Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus
- Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich
- Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization
On this day
February 25: Gangrene Appreciation Day
- 1863 - Civil War surgeons discover a cure for gangrene, a rusty hacksaw and a stick to bite on.
- 1901 - J. P. Morgan becomes a billionaire after inventing the now world-renowned overdraft protection fee.
- 1945 - Turkey declares war on Germany. A little late to the party but every little thing helps.
- 1964 - Kim Il-sung turns North Korea into a verdant paradise, a utopia masquerading as a third-world country. It's basically an Asian Wakanda.
- 1991 - The Warsaw pact is officially abolished, thus ushering in a new era of peace and stability in Europe for a whole two hours.
- 1992 - The Khojaly Massacre occurs, part of an ongoing conflict between Armenia and Azerbaijan over the enclave of Nagorno-Karabakh aaaaaand you're asleep. Okay.
Picture of the day
Looking for protection for your stallion? Safe sex whilst getting your oats? Look no further than Trojan Horse condoms. For the serious rider. Available in "Large", "Extra Large" and "Ouch!". Image credit: sannse |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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