From today's featured article
The penis is the primary functioning organ of a male human being, with the brain coming in a close second and the heart in a disappointing third. Penises, or penii, come in many shapes and sizes, all of which are useless to a man unless they are one specific shape and size.
Did you know...
- ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured)
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
- ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
- ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
In the news
- A*Teens reunite 40 years later
- UnNews' exclusive interview with God (Pictured)
- R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal
- Patrick eats SpongeBob
- O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting
- Citizen Kane sucks
- John Kerry comes out as a horse
- Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to"
- Mike Pence turns into a pickle
- It is all happening
- Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned
- Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence
- Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass
- Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints
- BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine
- Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed
- Grodin Museum reopens to public
- Old movies are suddenly offensive
- Northeast getting another blizzard
- Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies
- Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit
- Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President
On this day
- 1200 - Roger Waters places first brick in The Wall.
- 1207 - The first brick wall crumbles. 491 years of darkness ensues.
- 1698 - Brick reinvented by Kevin Costner as a flotation device. Kevin decrees that any major milestone of the brick must henceforth occur on September 26.
- 1699 - Roger Waters put another brick in The Wall.
- 1704 - First 'stack of bricks' discovered at the bottom of Lake Superior, along with Ricki Lake.
- 1837 - Humpty Dumpty trades in brick wall for something a lot more stable.
- 1839 - Mister Angry Waters throw a lot of bricks in The Wall again and again.
- 1917 - Roger Waters puts another fuckin' brick in The Wall.
- 1923 - The Wailing Wall collapses after major flooding caused by millions of pilgrims.
- 1930 - Wall Street crashes due to mortar stocks going through the roof.
- 1989 - Berlin Wall breaks up after discovering their cover version of Canadian Idiot is not popular in America.
- 1997 - Prof. M. Brick invents the 'new' brick wall to commemorate the 299th anniversary of the brick.
- 1998 - Vin Diesel records a special commemorative cover of "Brick House", titled "Brick Shithouse".
- 1999 - WLCPs "Another Brick in the Eye" reaches number 72 in the Billboard Charts.
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Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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