From today's featured article
In the news
- Opinion: Trump signs executive order to end border separation that HE started
- Fishermen reel in M15 Nuclear Bomb
- Rapper XXXTentacion shot and killed at 20 (Pictured)
- Trump uses Space Force to distract from border separation scandal
- Why your horror nerd friends are unusually excited
- Why your European friends are unusually excited
- Roseanne reboot gets canned after Roseanne can't keep her racism down to a 6.5
- Twitter reinstates news outlet Palmer Report after brief suspension
- Phil Hartman: Twenty years later
- Twitter suspends news outlet Palmer Report for telling the truth
- NBC's next live musical celebrates hippies, drugs, nudity, masturbation, and sodomy
- Actress Meghan Markle marries unemployed welfare prince
- Senate votes to restore net neutrality, House says "hold my beer"
- The OG Lois Lane, Margot Kidder, dies at 69
Did you know
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
- ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
- ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
On this day
- 1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service. First order of business is to invent the phone sex hotline.
- 1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, after brandishing an axe at the judge, jury and the prosecution.
- 1959 - A rare hurricane strikes Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast Sasquatch habitat in Nova Scotia and postponing National Curling Championships.
- 1963 - The U.S. and the Soviet Union create an emergency "red telephone" hotline so leaders of both countries can talk about their day and ask about the weather.
- 1973 - Argentina dictator Juan Perón orders the killing of 50,000 civilians who call the Malvinas the Falkland Islands.
- 1994 - The British finally land on the Moon, mission nearly aborted when tea kettle briefly malfunctions. (Pictured)
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