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36,655 articles in English

From today's featured article 


This was looking like such a good evening - invited out by some friends to kick back and relax after a hard week at work, a few beers, a comedy DVD, some quality time to chill, right?

And then, from the corner of the room came a sound. A dreaded sound. The tortured changgg of a slightly out-of-tune guitar being lovingly stroked by someone whose ambition far outweighs their talent rang around the room, and as hearts sank in unison, the cry went up: Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?

Now if you were a professional musician, or you and your friends were in a bagpipe band, that's one thing - and we'd almost expect that sooner or later there'd be an attempt at an impromptu rendition of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. But that's not the case, is it dude? You're not a professional musician - you're not even really an amateur musician, as that implies a modicum of talent. You're a self taught chord abuser, and that's where the problems start. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
  • ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
  • ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?

In the news 

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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene...

On this day 

LIFE® is a trademark of the Quaker Oats Company: Fake Quakers, Real Oats!™

December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.)

Picture of the day

Long Neck Killer
This is an African giraffe running you the fuck down.

Image credit: Zombiebaron
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 36,655 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.