From today's featured article
“This is one small step for a gentleman
, rather too much for working class types, I fear.” – Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel
With these words Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel (RN retired) became the first man to set foot on the moon. Moments later Group Captain Perkin "Tubby" Warbeck planted the Union Jack in the moon-dust and claimed Earth's only natural satellite for England, for King George and for tax-purposes. Flight Lieutenant Gerald "Stinky" Rawlings stood to attention and saluted through tear-stained eyes from the confines of the command module "Heart of Oak", unable to take part in the actual landing due to a grammar school education.
The story of how these two brave men and their batman came to be 400,000 kilometres from the nearest tea-shop is one of the most inspiring and yet little known tales in modern history. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
In the news
Where's the earth-shattering kaboom?
On this day
August 17: Dingo Ate My Baby Day
Michael Jackson celebrates Dingo Ate My Baby Day
- 5000 B.C. - first dingo arrives in Australia. Says dingo: "Man, I'm hungry. Could sure go for something chewy and defenseless."
- 3020 B.C. - Dingo's successfully mate with a Wallaby. The Dallawingoby young, a Wingodollajoeyhopper, is found to be delicious when BBQ'd, insuring quick extinction.
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson releases happiness at 11am.
- 1777 - Thomas Jefferson releases packs of Dingoes into the Virgina wilderness. These same Dingoes are later accredited with the eminination of the Roanoke Settlement.
- 1918 - Bolshevik revolutionary leader Moisei Uritsky is assassinated. Dingos are suspected.
- 1980 - "Ah Dingo Ate Moy Baybee!"
- 1984 - Happiness is prohibited by the ISoPT.
- 1986 - A pack of rabid Dingoes invade and devour the city of Syndey Austrailia.
- 1988 - Pakistani President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq and US Ambassador Arnold Raphel are killed in a plane crash. And then eaten by dingos.
- 1988 - The legendary Alex Cross was born in Redhill, Surrey, UK. He then roundhouse-kicked a dingo in the face when it tried to eat him.
- 1997 - Rabid packs of Dingoes win parlamentary elections in Austrailian run-off elections.
- 1999 - Nothing happens.
- 2004 - Alex Cross beat Chuck Norris in a fight, but Chuck Norris, with his last ounce of strength, roundhouse-kicked himself back in time to avoid being in a fight with someone far superior.
- 2006 - President George W Bush is confused on why the farmer would name his dog "Dingo". Puppet Master Cheney tries to explain, but then gets fed up and shoots a friend in the face.
- 2009 - Mount Everest a splode.