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From today's featured article 

Bikini lawn mower.jpg

Hello fellow lawn mower enthusiasts! I see you've got a new lawn mower there. Is that a Black & Decker 36V 19" Self-Propelled Rechargeable Mower with Removable Battery, model number SPCM1936? I thought so! You're a lucky man! Now, if I'm not mistaken, that means you you no longer have to worry about accidental starts, as every model comes with a safety key; can adjust the hight with just one touch and can always enjoy it's lightweight high impact polymer deck, am I correct? I knew it! I told you I knew my mowers.

Say, you ever wondered where those there babes came from? Or who their ancestors were? Haven't you ever wanted to know what started this whole lawn mower craze, anyway? Well I hope you're good and curious, because it's time to discover how grass and grass-like surfaces would never be the same again in this edition of the only lawn mower article on Uncyclopedia. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
  • ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
  • ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
  • ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
  • ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?

In the news 

On this day 

Who even plays melee anyway.

March 3: Beat Strangers to Death With a Lead Pipe Day

Picture of the day

Lego Assassination
The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image credit: Sliferjam
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