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Rebecca Black is a living Dadaist masterpiece. Jointly authored by the almost hard-working semi-geniuses at ARK Music Factory, and by Black's proud parents who paid $4000 so she could make a video, Black's cultural satire in pop music featuring the innocence and gullibility of a 13-year-old girl has proven an unnatural success. Black now represents the Los Angeles Dadaist movement, which acts in direct competition with its New York counterpart which is highlighted by the Fountain by Marcel Duchamp and the Late Show with David Letterman. Her "popularization by viral video" of the song Friday starting in mid-March, 2011, marks a rebirth of dadaism and a watershed in human culture. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that Angelina Jolie took method acting to the extreme to play the role of Slim in A Bug's Life? (Pictured)
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
In the news
- Olympic Games begin with Lady Gaga at opening ceremony
- Cocaine sharks now in Brazil
- Michael Bay working on Skibidi Toilet movie
- Joe Biden drops out of the presidential election in social media statement
- Houston now controlled by gangs after Hurricane Beryl
- Presidential candidate and former president Donald Trump gets shot at rally, rushed offstage
- Stephen Root warns character actors of impending doom: "You're not safe either, Malcolm McDowell"
- U.S. President Joe Biden falls asleep on-stage during televised debate with Trump
- Canadian NHL team once again blows chance to win Stanley Cup. In other news, water is wet.
- The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here."
Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Olympic Games
Recent deaths: Ruth Westheimer • Richard Simmons • Joe Engel • Shannen Doherty • Lou Dobbs • Bob Newhart
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Market demand for Tesla cars • Drake's sanity • Noam Chomsky • The Sims 5 • Larry • His brother Darryl • His other brother Darryl
On this day
- 3400 B.C. – Cave man punch woman. then laugh
- 589 – King Arthur declares himself King of England after using Excalibur to hit his woman.
- 657 – Battle of Siffin. Theys was Diffin, yo. No I'm sayn, Bitch?
- 790 – The practice of "back handing" starts in Europe as a cure for the women talking. It has a success rate of 80%.
- 810 – The practice of "back handing" ends in Europe as reports of excessively clean houses increase.
- 1521 – Famed prophet Nostradamus predicts that the King of England will have an affair and take the Queen of France as his mistress.
- 1524 – Nostradamus's house gets egged by an angry mob as they find his prediction to be wrong and that the King of England does not take the Queen of France as his mistress, but the Prince of Germany.
- 1536 – King Henry VIII of England takes Punch Your Girlfriend day to new extremes, by killing two of his wives.
- 1590 – Martin Luther changes his "100 Thesis" to the "99 Thesis" by deleting the sentence, "Priests are not to be allowed to have relations with children."
- 1792 – The Whiskey Rebellion is lost as George Washington and his troops march to fight off rebels while they were drunk singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. We take one down, pass it around, and 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."
- 1812 – The War of 1812 starts as an 18 year old young British boy gets in a fist fight with a 12 year old American. The two nations get involved as they send reinforcements to help the children.
- 1834 – The whoopie cushion is invented as a seat cover, but does not sell well for making "sounds of unwanted body gases."
- 1870 – The typewriter is invented with only the keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.
- 1956 – Harry Belafonte is impregnated by deadly black tarantulas as Shari Belafonte is born among a bunch of bananas.
- 1966 – Bloblobo, king of Bababa, knights Bob the salesmen for his studies in the field of OhmygodIforgottochangemyboxersology.
- 1974 – A Scottish man is viciously attacked by an alien squid after mistaking the creature for his bagpipes. Several women are punched in the process.
- 1988 – Reading in terror - Godzilla is born in the Royal Berkshire Hospital.
- 1994 – Like Henry VIII, O.J. Simpson takes "punch your girlfriend day" a step further by murdering his wife.
- 1997 – Peter Piper picks a peck of pickled peppers. Pfft!
- 2000 – 35 people with the Y2K bug are hospitalized after having close physical contact with their computers.
- 2007 – The Green Archers are beaten by The Blue Eagles, The Archers then punch their girlfriends for not cheering hard enough. The Eagles punch their girlfriends in ecstasy.
- 2008 – Max Mosley celebrates "punch your girlfriend day" by dressing as a Nazi prison guard.
- 2089 – Chuck Norris punches girlfriend, waking his dentist and long-deceased great-great-great-great grandfather Odysseus.
- 3001 – Justin Bieber's preserved remains finally hit puberty.
Picture of the day
Each year, Uluru's paint is refreshed to prepare for the upcoming tourist season. Image credit: Hindleyite |
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