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From today's featured article

“This is one small step for a gentleman, rather too much for working class types, I fear.” – Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel

With these words Commodore Terrence Lambert-Simnel (RN retired) became the first man to set foot on the moon. Moments later Group Captain Perkin "Tubby" Warbeck planted the Union Jack in the moon-dust and claimed Earth's only natural satellite for England, for King George and for tax-purposes. Flight Lieutenant Gerald "Stinky" Rawlings stood to attention and saluted through tear-stained eyes from the confines of the command module "Heart of Oak", unable to take part in the actual landing due to a grammar school education.

The story of how these two brave men and their batman came to be 400,000 kilometres from the nearest tea-shop is one of the most inspiring and yet little known tales in modern history. (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
  • ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
  • ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
  • ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?

In the news

UnNews:OMG, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-- wait, nevermind
Where's the earth-shattering kaboom?

On this day

August 17: Dingo Ate My Baby Day (Australia).
Michael Jackson celebrates Dingo Ate My Baby Day
  • 5000 B.C. - first dingo arrives in Australia. Says dingo: "Man, I'm hungry. Could sure go for something chewy and defenseless."
  • 3020 B.C. - Dingo's successfully mate with a Wallaby. The Dallawingoby young, a Wingodollajoeyhopper, is found to be delicious when BBQ'd, insuring quick extinction.
  • 1776 - Thomas Jefferson releases happiness at 11am.
  • 1777 - Thomas Jefferson releases packs of Dingoes into the Virgina wilderness. These same Dingoes are later accredited with the eminination of the Roanoke Settlement.
  • 1918 - Bolshevik revolutionary leader Moisei Uritsky is assassinated. Dingos are suspected.
  • 1980 - "Ah Dingo Ate Moy Baybee!"
  • 1984 - Happiness is prohibited by the ISoPT.
  • 1986 - A pack of rabid Dingoes invade and devour the city of Syndey Austrailia.
  • 1988 - Pakistani President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq and US Ambassador Arnold Raphel are killed in a plane crash. And then eaten by dingos.
  • 1988 - The legendary Alex Cross was born in Redhill, Surrey, UK. He then roundhouse-kicked a dingo in the face when it tried to eat him.
  • 1997 - Rabid packs of Dingoes win parlamentary elections in Austrailian run-off elections.
  • 1999 - Nothing happens.
  • 2004 - Alex Cross beat Chuck Norris in a fight, but Chuck Norris, with his last ounce of strength, roundhouse-kicked himself back in time to avoid being in a fight with someone far superior.
  • 2006 - President George W Bush is confused on why the farmer would name his dog "Dingo". Puppet Master Cheney tries to explain, but then gets fed up and shoots a friend in the face.
  • 2009 - Mount Everest a splode.

Today's featured picture

Hand Grenade
The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Image credit: Mosquitopsu
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