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From today's featured article
This was looking like such a good evening - invited out by some friends to kick back and relax after a hard week at work, a few beers, a comedy DVD, some quality time to chill, right?
And then, from the corner of the room came a sound. A dreaded sound. The tortured changgg of a slightly out-of-tune guitar being lovingly stroked by someone whose ambition far outweighs their talent rang around the room, and as hearts sank in unison, the cry went up: Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?
Now if you were a professional musician, or you and your friends were in a bagpipe band, that's one thing - and we'd almost expect that sooner or later there'd be an attempt at an impromptu rendition of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. But that's not the case, is it dude? You're not a professional musician - you're not even really an amateur musician, as that implies a modicum of talent. You're a self taught chord abuser, and that's where the problems start. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured)
- ... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
- ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
- ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
In the news
- Greece: Zeus will smite anti-vaxxers
- President Partons turkey (Pictured)
- Girl remembers breakup song All too well
- Britpop fan's opinion on the Dexter revival
- Oscar the Grouch, Bert fired over vaccine mandates
- Windows 11 JBE will be hitting shelves just in time for Christmas
- A*Teens reunite 40 years later
- UnNews' exclusive interview with God
- R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal
- Patrick eats SpongeBob
- O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting
- Citizen Kane sucks
- John Kerry comes out as a horse
- Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to"
- Mike Pence turns into a pickle
On this day
December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.)
- 1897 - Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he wants you to listen to Adele's brand new album, ready for the holiday season! Her lung noises make you feel sad, give her money!
- 1922 - The Coca-Cola Company debuts its famous Polar Bear mascot for the holiday season! The crisp, refreshing taste of our caramelized fizz water attracts even vicious arctic predators!
- 1998 - 100 billionth e-mail with subject line "Viagra is food for the soul" opened: Sponsored by Viagra: Penis Yours Big Penis Women Fuck™.
- 1970 - British funny-makers who are very popular with 18 to 34 year old internet income dispensers make funny skit about SPAM®! What a funny sketch! Spammity-spam! Hilarity! Buy our products.
- 2009 - Famous Chihuahua mascot of Tex-Mex food-service provider Taco Bell, Gidget, dies after one too many lines of cocaine. The fame went to his head! Commemorate this tragedy by buying one of our Doritos Locos Tacos (in cool ranch or fiery red spicy)!
- 2012 - Everyone decides that it's okay to put Twitter hashtags on commercials. Is this who we are as a species? Is this the reason why God has condemned use to die?
Picture of the day
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This is an African giraffe running you the fuck down. Image credit: Zombiebaron |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister projects
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UnNews
News unfit for print -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
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Words are important -
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Noise and stuff -
UnGames
Kill a lot of time -
HowTo
Allen wrench not included -
UnBooks
Read at your own risk -
Unquotable
Impress your friends -
Uncycloversity
Spring break all year -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We break legs -
Why?
Because we said so -
UnReviews
Opinions galore -
UnVoyage
No travel necessary -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 36,655 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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