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From today's featured article 

Jimbo Mills Boon.jpg

I just can't stand it. When I see her I can only grit my teeth and clench my fists as hard as I can from jumping out and screaming "I love you!" at the top of my lungs. I literally have to bite down on my tongue, sometimes until it bleeds or else I'll lose control and caress her with kisses until the end of the world. She's just so beautiful. Not in that supermodel Barbie doll way. She's legitimately beautiful. The supermodels put on make up and dress up and get air brushed so they can look like her. She doesn't need that shit, she's wonderful on her own.

"Mr. Wales, you have a visitor." It's my secretary. I tell her to let her in, I already know who it is. I asked her to come to my office so we could talk. Not about work or anything, just... talk. I know it's against office policy but I just want to see her again. That gorgeous, naïve smile, those huge, innocent eyes that seemed to take in the world so carefully. Her body was small, delicate, as if the slightest breeze would shatter her like a glass rose. I could never stop thinking about her. Never. She was always on my mind. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
  • ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
  • ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
  • ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
  • ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?

In the news 

On this day 

Why does God stay silent in the face of suffering?

May 28: Punctuation Awareness Day

Picture of the day

Hello Kitty
Hello Kitty getting her groove on.

Image credit: IMBJR
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 36,945 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.